


Because I Love You

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anorexia, Bisexuality, Childhood, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Comfort/Angst, Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Disturbing Themes, F/F, F/M, Female Homosexuality, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Masturbation, Molestation, Moving On, Moving Out, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Pedophilia, Promiscuity, Rape Recovery, Rimming, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Shota, Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love, Voyeurism, Yaoi, a disgusting amount of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-10 03:56:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 38
Words: 107,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After withstanding years of childhood sexual abuse, Itachi is on his way to recovery. But when Sasuke faces trial after trial, how will he respond? Uchihacest, some disturbing content, angst, fluff, etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sacrifices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has basically been completely rewritten.
> 
> I think it's kinda like...I don't even know. My writing skills are better, I guess? MAYBE?
> 
> Ah. But, nothing major was changed. I just tried to make it prettier, I suppose.

Everything Itachi had ever done was for Sasuke. Every single decision that fragile, twelve-year-old boy ever made was with only his small, precious little brother's best interests in mind. He would do anything for Sasuke, anything at all.

He'd even offer up his body if it kept Sasuke safe.

"You're such a slut, Itachi," Fugaku chuckled, running his hands over the raven's exposed chest. "Giving up so easily tonight?"

Itachi stared at his father with dead, expressionless eyes. He didn't really see the man, nor did he see his disgusting, perverted grin. His mind was far away from his bedroom, a place he'd begun to associate with nothing but pain, nausea, and perversion.

"I've realized that it's pointless to fight when the outcome is always the same," Itachi said, his tone so emotionless it nearly frightened himself. But at least he didn't sound scared, not anymore. He wouldn't give his father  _that_  pleasure any longer.

Fugaku snickered, his grin never faltering. It seemed the boy had grown a backbone, or maybe he just gave up on fighting.

_Or maybe he finally wants it._

"Just admit it, Itachi. You love this," Fugaku said, his hot breath ghosting over Itachi's lips. The boy winced as the smell of alcohol and cigarettes invaded his senses, serving as an all-too-real reminder of where he was, of what was happening to him. "You're such a little slut."

Itachi closed his eyes and tried again to pretend he was anywhere but there, pinned to his bed underneath the disgusting man he was forced to call his father. It took a few moments, but then a cheerful young boy with plump, rounded, rosy cheeks popped into his mind and he nearly smiled, if he could do such a thing at that moment.

_Sasuke..._

Itachi winced in pain and choked down a yelp as Fugaku jammed two dry fingers inside him without any warning. With a smirk, he forced Itachi's legs onto his shoulders so he could reach him deeper, never once stopping the violent thrusts of his fingers. He pumped them harshly, brutally, not giving Itachi a moment to adjust to something so bestial.

"So tight..." Fugaku groaned as he pumped the digits in and out of the boy's entrance. No matter how many times he did this, he knew he'd never tire of it. The tight heat clamping around his digits nearly drove him insane with lust. He pumped them harder, forcing Itachi's head to slam against the headboard a couple of times with the power of the movements.

Itachi grit his teeth, refusing to make any sounds of pain as he knew that would only spur his father on further, though it became increasingly difficult with every passing moment. He reminded himself that it would all be over soon, as he always did, and that he was only doing this to protect Sasuke. No matter how disgusting and  _filthy_ he always felt afterward, it was all for Sasuke.

After what felt like eternity to Itachi, the rough, unforgiving fingers were removed, only to be replaced with something much bigger and far more distasteful. Itachi took a deep breath; this was always the worst part.

Fugaku thrust to the hilt in one swift movement, causing Itachi to sink his teeth into his bottom lip to stay silent. Pain shot up his spine, nearly dizzying with its intensity. It only worsened as his father pulled out, and Itachi couldn't choke down a small, pained whimper as it fell past his lips when his father thrust back in. His head hit the headboard so hard it made him dizzy as his father thrust again and again, causing Itachi to grip onto the sheets for dear life.

"Fuck yeah, Itachi," Fugaku breathed. "You like that?"

Itachi just kept his eyes shut as he tried to block out the terrible pain and revulsion overtaking his mind. His entire body ached, though the pain stemmed from the disgusting intrusion in his ass. He shivered as he thought of it, which caused his father to chuckle with amusement.

"See? You do like it," he said, bending down and placing an almost chaste kiss on Itachi's temple. The raven whimpered but then cried out as Fugaku humped into him harder. The sound of skin slapping against skin was nearly deafening; it made Itachi's skin crawl.

"I-It hurts!" Itachi yelped, squeezing his eyes shut tight as tears built in his eyes. He gripped the sheets as hard as he could, desperately trying to think of anything but the  _pain._

"Good," Fugaku smirked, panting with his efforts. It'd been a while since he fucked Itachi  _this_  hard.

Eventually, Fugaku's unforgiving hips stilled and he finally came. He moaned lowly and hunched over, burying his face in the crook of Itachi's neck as pleasure washed over him like a tidal wave. Itachi shivered, his stomach churning painfully as he felt his father cum inside him, filling him.

After taking a couple of moments to recover, Fugaku pulled out, causing Itachi to hiss in pain. Itachi felt his father's seed leaking out of his abused entrance, causing him to grimace and tripling the urge to vomit. He knew he was going to throw up, as he always did, but he desperately needed his father to leave before he did so. He didn't want him to see how badly his actions truly affected him.

"Clean yourself up. Your mom will be home soon," his father said, standing from the bed and gathering his hastily discarded clothes off the floor.

"Yes, father." Itachi's voice was barely above a whisper as he stared blindly at the ceiling, just trying to push down the nausea for a little while longer.  _Just a few more seconds…_

Once his father  _finally_  redressed himself and left, ever-so-kindly closing the door behind him, Itachi made a mad dash to his trashcan. He leaned over it and instantly began to heave, his stomach clenching painfully with every forceful gag. He was glad he hadn't eaten much today as he didn't particularly enjoy throwing up, though it happened often enough.

Soon, all he was left doing was dry-heaving, and that offered little relief. Wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand, he shakily stood from the trashcan, and decided to clean himself off as his father had instructed for fear of angering him. His punishments were always horrible, and Itachi tried to avoid these as often as he could. He shivered as he remembered the last time he disobeyed; the pain he currently felt couldn't even compare.

He grabbed a clean pair of clothes and made his way out of his room. He didn't care that he was naked considering the only people home were his father and himself, and his father was likely sated for the night—or at least, Itachi hoped as much. He knew he wouldn't be able to take another round, not with how rough his father was this time.

Once in the bathroom, he wasted no time in stepping into the shower. He wanted his father's scent off him, that vulgar, disgusting, musky scent. He turned on the water until it was scalding hot, giving no mind to the pain he would likely feel under the hot spray.

In a way, he was hoping to burn the memories of his father away with the stream of boiling-hot water.

He scrubbed his skin until it was raw, trying to erase the feeling of his father's hands touching him, violating him, as they had done far too often. He reminded himself that everything, every  _single_  thing, was for Sasuke. His father couldn't taint Sasuke as he had himself. His father couldn't destroy that little boy's childish innocence as he had done to Itachi so many years ago.

It couldn't,  _wouldn't_  happen. Not as long as Itachi was alive.

Itachi shut off the water once the heat began to get to him, and stepped out of the shower. He toweled himself off carefully, being mindful of his throbbing backside and wincing as he accidentally brushed against it. He was used to the constant ache, but he didn't want to exacerbate it in any way. He already had a difficult enough time hiding things from his mother.

After he was dry, he dressed himself equally as carefully then took a moment to regard his reflection in the partially steamed-up mirror.

He looked dead; there was really no other way to describe it. His tire lines were more defined than ever, and his dark eyes were vacant and lifeless. He was far paler than a healthy boy should be, most likely a symptom of his poor eating habits and being prone to frequent anxiety-induced vomiting. One really couldn't blame him for not having much of an appetite, though; after all, he knew it was unlikely that any of his food would stay down for long.

It was all his father's fault.

_Every. Single. Thing._

Itachi was interrupted from his internal brooding by a tiny, barely audible knock on the bathroom door. He smiled to himself; he knew exactly who it was. He opened the door without a second's pause, eager for a distraction, and peered down into two bright, wide, onyx-colored eyes and a thousand-watt grin.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke said, a huge smile stretched across his face. Itachi smiled warmly at the cute little boy, his troubles forgotten, if only for a moment.

"How was your day, Sasuke?" he asked, gently lacing his fingers through Sasuke's as they pattered down the hall towards his room. Sasuke's smile seemed to grow, if that was even possible.

"It was great, Nii-san! Except these weird, icky girls kept following me around." His smile faded and was replaced by an equally as adorable pout while he contemplated his dislike of the female gender. Itachi chuckled softly at his cute little brother, and soon the grin returned.

"How was your day, Aniki?" Sasuke asked. Itachi made sure to keep a straight face despite the familiar churning in his stomach. He didn't need Sasuke to worry about him.

"It was fine," he muttered, pushing open his bedroom door. Sasuke's smile disappeared again and a look of childish worry replaced it.

"Only fine?" He worried about his big brother sometimes. He always seemed sad...

Itachi ruffled his hair with a soft, reassuring smile, and squeezed his hand tighter.

"No need to worry yourself, Otouto," he said, ignoring Sasuke's indignant pout at being denied a true answer. "How about I help you with your homework?"

The grin fell back in place and Sasuke hurried out of his Aniki's room to grab his backpack. Itachi allowed his smile to fade and sighed deeply, just trying to calm his nerves.

_As long as he's happy, it's all worth it._

* * *

"So how was everyone's day?" Mikoto asked as she served rice and vegetables to her husband and sons. Sasuke beamed and squeaked out a slightly muffled, "It was good, Kaa-san!" along with a belated, "Itadakimasu!" while trying to shovel rice into his mouth. Mikoto smiled warmly at her youngest little ball of sunshine, though she shook her head slightly at his bad table manners.

"Well I'm glad to hear that, Sasuke," she said.

Mikoto turned to Itachi, a slightly worried look on her face. Itachi always seemed off, though she couldn't quite put her finger on what was wrong.

"And you, Itachi? You always seem like something's bothering you."

Itachi chanced a look at his father, only to be met with a steely glare over the rim of his father's glass of beer. Itachi swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling far too dry. He shifted slightly, repressing the terrible grimace that came along with it. He was so  _sore._

"My day was fine, Kaa-san, and I've just had a lot on my mind lately. I'm sorry for worrying you," he whispered, his eyes downcast on the blue tablecloth below him. Fugaku seemed appeased with his son's answer and returned to eating his dinner, much to Itachi's utter relief. His mother, however, was still worried.

"You know you can talk to us about anything, Itachi. Your father and I are always here for you," she said, her voice gentle as she tried to coax answers from her son.

 _If only you knew_ , he thought bitterly as he nodded and began to eat his rice. Mikoto's face fell at the lack of a verbal response, but she sighed and set about eating her own dinner, resigned to Itachi's silence.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke suddenly said with a mouthful of food. Itachi offered a small smile and quirk of an eyebrow to the hyper seven-year-old.

"Don't speak with your mouth full, Sasuke. It's impolite," he said, though he wasn't the least bit harsh. Sasuke blushed and swallowed his food before speaking again.

"Sorry," he mumbled, slightly embarrassed. "I was just wondering if maybe we could watch a movie or something together tonight..." Sasuke stared at the table and played with his fingers, slightly worried about rejection. His brother was always doing homework or reading up in his room, so Sasuke expected a 'no,' but it didn't hurt to ask.

Itachi's smile grew slightly at just how adorable his little brother was. He couldn't refuse Sasuke, not today, plus he really wanted to get his mind off things.

"Sure, why not. You and I have already finished our homework, so I don't see why it would be a problem as long as we're in bed a decent time." Sasuke's eyes shot up and he positively  _beamed_ at the thought of spending extra time with his Aniki. He bounced a little in his seat and opened his mouth to say thank you, but didn't have a chance to before their father cut in.

"Just make sure you clean up the kitchen," Fugaku said, eyeing both his boys though he smirked slightly at Sasuke's cute reaction.

"H-Hai, Tou-san," Sasuke said, his voice nothing short of respectful as his smile slowly faded and his bouncing stilled.

He was scared of their father, and for good reason, though he didn't know those exact reasons seeing as he was still young and naive. Perhaps it was just the fact that his father always seemed to look at him as though he was something to be devoured, dragging his eyes all over his body, that always left little Sasuke feeling on edge around him. He didn't know what his father's hungry stares really meant at such a young age, but all he knew was that it made him more than a little uncomfortable.

But he knew he had no real reason to worry because his Nii-san would always be there to protect him, no matter what.

Eager to move on to their after-dinner movie, Sasuke quickly finished the food on his plate, and smiled at his older brother.

"I'm all done!" he said, causing Itachi to chuckle slightly at the obvious statement. "Thank you for dinner, Kaa-san."

"Of course, Sasuke. I'm glad you liked it," Mikoto said. Memories of when Itachi used to be so carefree and happy flashed through her mind, causing her eyebrows to furrow and her worry to double. Where had that joyful child gone?

"I'm finished as well, mother. Thank you," Itachi said, though he hadn't even eaten half of his food. "May we please be excused?"

Mikoto nodded and Fugaku grunted something along the lines of, "Just clean up, you ungrateful brats," though neither boy was truly listening.

After he stood, Itachi picked up both of their plates and took them to the kitchen to wash them. Little Sasuke trailed behind him the entire time, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Can I help, Aniki?" Sasuke asked, bouncing slightly on his feet. Itachi patted him on the head and handed him a plate to be loaded into the dishwasher.

"Can you put that away for me?"

Sasuke nodded his head vigorously and took the plate from Itachi's pale hands. No sooner had the plate made it to his chubby little fingers was it dropped onto the ground, shattering into a million tiny pieces with a loud 'crash.'

Sasuke gasped, hoping with all his might that their father didn't hear it. Whenever he got mad he seemed to take it out on Itachi, and Sasuke's little heart couldn't take the guilt of being responsible for Itachi getting punished.

"Sorry, Aniki," he said. He couldn't believe his own stupidity. He'd just wanted to help, but now he went and made such a mess. He was so embarrassed...

Itachi offered Sasuke a small, reassuring smile, and it was enough to calm the small boy's terrible fear. Their father hadn't come in yet, which was surprising to Itachi, but he was mostly just grateful. But he could never be too careful...

"It's fine. Just go grab a broom for me, please."

Sasuke nodded his head and bounded out of the kitchen in search of what his brother asked for. He ran past their mother who stood at the entrance of the kitchen—she came in to investigate the noise—and towards the hallway closet. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice when he collided with his father who stood in the hallway, shuffling through the closet's contents.

Sasuke fell onto his bum with a small 'oof' and rubbed the side of his head sheepishly. He really couldn't seem to do anything right today.

"S-Sorry, Tou-san," he mumbled.

His father merely eyed him. To Sasuke, it almost seemed as though he was looking right through his clothes, and it made the little boy pull his legs to his chest. He felt the urge to cover himself from his father's hungry gaze.

"What were you running for?" Fugaku asked.

"T-To get a broom," Sasuke said, his voice quiet. "I accidentally broke a plate...and Itachi-Nii asked me to get a broom for him to clean up."

Now, instead of his father getting angry and chastising him as he expected, his father started to smile. Well, perhaps smile wasn't the best word. It was more like a grin—a creepy, sadistic grin that made little Sasuke shiver.

"Well, well, well...what a naughty little boy," Fugaku sneered. "And what do naughty boys deserve, Sasuke?"

Sasuke shivered again, but this time it was more pronounced. He wracked his brain for a moment, though he couldn't do much else but tremble as his father watched him expectantly.

"I-I don't know, Tou-san," he finally said.

Fugaku's grin faded a bit and a look of irritation clouded his features as he slammed the door shut. Sasuke flinched, hugging his knees tighter to his chest.

"Punishment, Sasuke. They deserve  _punishment_."

And with that, the grin was back in full force, and Fugaku knelt down to the boy's level. Sasuke cringed at the heavy smell of alcohol on his father's breath, resisting the urge to gag with all his might.

"I think I've waited long enough, and punishment is long overdue, my dearest Sasuke."

Sasuke shivered; he _really_  hated the way his father said his name. It sounded so...weird. His voice was so low and scratchy. Sasuke felt fear creep up from the base of his spine and had the sudden urge to cry out as though he'd been burned when his father caressed his cheek with a rough, calloused thumb.

"You're so  _pretty_ , Sasuke. I'd just love to see all of you," his father breathed, causing Sasuke to hold his breath at the terrible stench of alcohol.

"What do you think you're doing?"

His father's attention was successfully diverted to Itachi who stood at the entrance to the hallway, their mother trailing behind him. She scrunched up her eyebrows as she noticed Fugaku and Sasuke's odd closeness. She heard the plate break in the kitchen and asked Fugaku to grab a broom, but it seemed Itachi had asked the same thing of Sasuke, though that still didn't explain why he was practically in the boy's face.

Itachi swiftly walked up to his baby brother's side and scooped the shaking boy into his arms, shooting a triumphant smirk at their father as he rubbed Sasuke's back.

"Am I not enough for you?" Itachi whispered, speaking quietly to make sure their mother couldn't hear. Sasuke snuggled into Itachi's neck, his trembling slowly lessening as he inhaled Itachi's comforting scent.

Fugaku scowled as he stood, his eyes darting from Itachi to Mikoto and his fists clenching at his sides.

"I'll have him eventually, Itachi," he hissed under his breath before making his way to Mikoto and grabbing her hand. She shot one last, confused look towards her two sons as she was lead away from the scene in the hallway.

Itachi let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and took a moment to regard the slightly calmer, but still obviously scared boy cradled to his chest. Sasuke whimpered a little as he clutched at Itachi's shirt, causing the elder's brow to furrow.

"Shhh," Itachi whispered. "It's alright. Father isn't going to hurt you."

He ran his fingers through Sasuke's raven spikes in an attempt to soothe the poor child. They stood for a moment before Itachi made his way towards the stairwell, never pausing the gentle movement of his hand through Sasuke's soft hair. The tiny raven smiled a little, nearly lulled to sleep by his brother's gentle, soothing actions.

Once Itachi made it to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him, he laid down. He kept Sasuke cuddled to his chest, smiling at the sight of him so sleepy.

"What did Tou-san mean…?" Sasuke said, his voice slurred a bit with tiredness as he stifled a yawn.

Itachi sighed deeply and resumed petting Sasuke, a small smile quirking the corner of his lips as the tiny raven sighed contently.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now, Sasuke," he said. "Let's just say that Tou-san is very sick."

Sasuke perked up at this, staring at Itachi with a mixture of curiosity and slight concern, though his eyes were still a little heavy.

"Sick? Like…a cold? Is he going to get better?" he asked. Itachi sighed again, wracking his brain for a believable explanation.

"Not that kind of sick, Otouto. And no, I don't think he's ever going to get better."

Sasuke looked understandably confused, but decided to just accept his brother's explanation; besides, he was perfectly comfortable just snuggling up on his Aniki's chest.

"Well, I hope he gets better," the tiny boy mumbled into the fabric of his big brother's shirt, stifling yet another yawn.

"Me too," Itachi whispered, holding Sasuke closer.

* * *

Itachi decided to let Sasuke nap for a little while before waking the boy up and asking if he'd still like to watch a movie. Sasuke yawned hugely and Itachi couldn't help but think that his brother was the incarnation of absolute adorable.

"No, Nii-san. I'm really sleepy," Sasuke mumbled. Itachi chuckled, running his fingers through Sasuke's hair.

"Well, I can tell that much, Otouto. How would you like to sleep in here tonight?"

Sasuke instantly seemed more awake and grinned at his big brother, all previous signs of sleepiness suddenly erased.

"Thanks, Itachi-Nii!"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Itachi smiled and kissed his brother's forehead. "Well, let's go get ready for bed."

With a small nod, Sasuke scampered away from his Aniki and crossed the room to the door. He fumbled with the lock for a moment, cursing quietly to himself when he couldn't get it open right. Itachi smirked and crept up behind Sasuke, quickly unlocking the door, much to Sasuke's relief. After throwing a quick, grateful smile at his Aniki, Sasuke swung the door open and pitter-pattered to the hallway bathroom.

Itachi allowed his smile to dissipate as he recalled earlier events. He was extremely glad that he and his mother decided to check to see what was taking so long, since their father was getting anxious, that much was obvious. He had hoped that by sacrificing himself he'd be able to save his baby brother from a similar fate, but apparently he wasn't enough to satiate his father's lust any longer.

Perhaps he was getting too old.

Itachi shook his head to dispel all of his negative thoughts and slipped out of his room to join Sasuke in the bathroom. By the time he made it there, Sasuke had a mess of toothpaste around his mouth. Itachi laughed quietly at the comical sight and began brushing his teeth too.

He just couldn't let his father ruin this bright-eyed, innocent, cheerful child as he himself had been ruined. He would gladly give up his own life if it would ensure Sasuke's happiness.

* * *

Once the boys were changed and ready for bed, they snuggled under Itachi's comforter, ready to succumb to the peacefulness of sleep.

"Nii-san?" a barely-conscious Sasuke mumbled as he cuddled closer to the warm body next to him.

"Hm?"

The boy paused for a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully.

"I love you," he said, smiling cutely and snuggling as close as he could to Itachi.

Itachi paused for a second as he was overcome with emotion. His heart swelled and he hugged the tiny raven closer to himself, smiling wider than he had in a good while. Words couldn't describe just  _how much_  he loved this little boy.

"I love you too, baby brother."

_More than anything._


	2. Finally Exposed

Itachi slept better than he had in days thanks to the tiny boy curled up next to him. Sasuke's steady, gentle breathing helped to lull him into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.

Once morning came and the shrill sound of Itachi's alarm clock rang out through the room, both boys woke up. Itachi was an early riser by nature, the complete opposite of Sasuke. Said little boy was currently grumbling something along the lines of "five more minutes" but it was heavily muffled by the fact that his face was currently buried in the fabric of Itachi's nightshirt. Itachi smiled and nuzzled Sasuke's forehead before placing a gentle kiss there.

"Wake up, sleepy head," he whispered. Why was his brother so cute?

Sasuke grumbled and tightened his hold on his Aniki's shirt. Itachi decided that five more minutes really couldn't hurt, and Sasuke really was adorable while he was sleeping and he'd hate to disturb him.

After a few minutes, Sasuke began to open his eyes (but only halfway) and peered up at his Aniki. He looked completely out of it and rather pissed off, but in that adorable way that only a child could pull off.

"I don' like mornings," he mumbled. "Aniki's so warm...don' wanna get up."

Itachi nearly laughed at how adorable his grumpy little Otouto was.

"But we have school, little brother, and Kaa-san or Tou-san will be in here to wake us up soon if we don't get up on our own."

At the mention of their father, Sasuke suddenly seemed much more alert.

"Okay, Aniki," he said while stifling a yawn.

Sasuke begrudgingly detached himself from his brother's warm embrace and dragged his tiny feet onto the floor. He stood up, though he wobbled for a second, and disappeared out of Itachi's room and to his own room to grab his clothes. Itachi stood up as well, and walked to his dresser to pick out his clothes for the day. He easily decided on a black t-shirt and black jeans. Itachi saw no reason to add much color to his wardrobe, as he didn't particularly care about fashion.

Itachi smiled a little to himself. This was one of the rare mornings where he'd woken up in a pleasant mood, not dreading the day. He supposed he had little Sasuke to thank for that.

Just as the elder was pulling his nightshirt over his head, he suddenly felt as though he was being watched. He turned to face his doorway and saw his father leaning against the door-frame and regarding him with a hungry, lustful gaze.

"I'll expect you home early today, Itachi," Fugaku said with that damned perverted grin plastered across his face. The young raven internally cringed, but kept his face impassive.

"Yes, Tou-san."

And with that, his father was gone, taking Itachi's good mood along with him.

* * *

Itachi always left for school before Sasuke, which was a cause of worry for the elder raven. Although Fugaku and Sasuke were left alone for a mere twenty minutes after their mother left and before their father had to go to work, it was still unsettling. Itachi tried to push this thought out of his mind as he gave his brother a goodbye hug.

"Be good at school today, Otouto," Itachi said.

Sasuke nodded and promised like any good boy should.

Itachi smiled and ruffled the small child's hair and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving, praying all the while that his little brother would be okay in his short absence.

* * *

"Get on the bed."

Itachi did as he was told without a single complaint. He knew better than to try to refuse at the threat of his little brother's innocence. His father crawled on the bed above him and began littering his exposed skin with harsh nips and bites, much to Itachi's dismay. He really hated having to hide those from the questioning eyes of his mother.

"Take off your clothes, Itachi."

Itachi, again, did as he was told. When naked, he sunk back onto the bed, looking completely lifeless as his father resumed his position above the small pre-teen.

Fugaku wasted no time in prepping him tonight, seemingly still angry about the night before. Itachi couldn't help the small yelp that made its way from his throat at the rough intrusion. It normally hurt even with prep, and without it it was nearly unbearable.

Fugaku sneered at him.

"Does it  _hurt_?" He whispered into Itachi's ear. Itachi grit his teeth and tried to will away the small tears leaking from his eyes.

"You're a sick bastard," he managed to hiss through the haze of pain.

His father slapped him across the face hard enough to bruise, then grabbed a clump of his hair and attached his mouth to the smaller, unwilling mouth below him. Itachi briefly considered releasing the bile that was building up in his throat into his father's vile mouth once he felt that slimy tongue slither into his own, but regardless of the small satisfaction it would give him, the punishment would likely be severe and could involve Sasuke. His father's thrusts seemed endless and Itachi felt as though he was being ripped in two. He found himself wondering when his body would simply reach its threshold of pain and give out on him.

But, perhaps there is a God after all.

"Fugaku."

His hips stilled. The eldest Uchiha slowly turned his head towards the doorway, only to find his wife standing there, looking as though she was on the verge of vomiting. Her face had drained of all color.

"Get your filthy hands off my son!" She shrieked, storming into the room and shoving Fugaku off of his poor victim. Although much stronger than his wife, Fugaku was so shocked that he offered little resistance.

She pulled the broken boy into her arms and cradled him close.

"Mommy is here now. I'm so sorry, so sorry baby. Mommy is here," she whispered, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

It was as though the floodgate had been opened and tears began streaming down Itachi's face with no intent of stopping. He hugged his mother as tightly as he could. Mikoto had also begun to cry. She blamed herself.

Fugaku looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"H-Honey, it wasn't what it look-"

"Shut the fuck up, Fugaku," Mikoto hissed. It was rare for the normally gentle woman to curse, but she was livid, disgusted,  _mortified_. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, quickly dialing the police. Fugaku stood up, and was about to try and snatch the phone from his wife, but something about the glare Itachi was throwing him made him stand still.

He could have sworn he saw his son's eyes flash red with fury.

* * *

Itachi sat huddled on the couch with a blanket draped around his shoulders. He was still shaking a bit, but stopped crying a little while ago.

His father was taken away in handcuffs and police officers had been talking to Itachi for what seemed like hours. They all shot him sympathetic looks. They were all  _pitying_  him, and this angered Itachi more than anything. He didn't need their damn pity- he was stronger than that. But, alas, all the police officers saw was a very broken, very traumatized twelve-year-old boy.

Finally, all the police officers were gone, and Mikoto was left alone with the shell of her son.

"Itachi..." she began softly, sitting down on the love-seat across from him.

He glanced up at her, his eyes looking glossy and void of life.

"How long?" She asked, her voice cracking.

He continued to stare at her for a moment, seemingly trying to come up with the correct answer.

"Five years," he whispered after a moment, his voice hoarse from crying.

Mikoto broke down again, burying her head in her hands.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry, 'Tachi. My baby, my poor baby!" The woman was in hysterics, her shoulders heaving and her breathing coming in short bursts. She continued on for a few moments and Itachi could do nothing but stare at the ground in front of him. He felt completely numb. Eventually, Mikoto was able to pull herself back together and she moved to sit next to her son on the couch.

"Can I hold you?" She whispered.

He briefly wondered if it was more for her sake or his own, but nodded his head slightly.

She smiled a weak, broken smile, and pulled the pre-teen onto her lap and began stroking her fingers through his hair. Itachi breathed in the scent of his mother's cherry blossom perfume. It smelled sweet; it smelled  _safe._ They sat in silence for awhile, which was comforting for both of them.

Eventually, Mikoto broke the silence.

"I have to pick up Sasuke from his friend's house soon...would you like to come for the ride?" She asked. He nodded into his mother's chest. He really didn't feel like being alone at the moment.

* * *

"Nii-san!" Sasuke cried as he scrambled into the car. Itachi decided to sit in the backseat of the small car as well. He wanted to be close to his little brother. Sasuke flung himself at Itachi and hugged him as hard as he could. Itachi winced a little from the pain shooting up his spine, but hid it well.

"I missed you, 'Niki!" He said into Itachi's shirt.

Itachi managed a weak smile and half-hearted 'missed you too' in response.

Mikoto shot a sad smile towards her two sons. She really had no idea how she was going to break the news of their father's departure to Sasuke.

Sasuke broke away (although it took a little prying on Itachi's part) from their hug in order to settle into his seat and fasten his seat-belt as their mom pulled out of the driveway. He peered into the front and a look of confusion crossed his features as he noticed the absence of his father.

"Where's Tou-san?"

Mikoto opened her mouth to reply, but Itachi beat her to it.

"Remember how I told you father was very sick?"

Sasuke nodded his head.

"Well, he's going to be gone for awhile so he can get better."

Sasuke's brow furrowed in confusion, but he nodded again.

"Okay...I hope he gets better soon."

Itachi 'hm'ed' in response and put his arm around Sasuke, bringing him closer.

Mikoto studied them in the rear-view mirror.

She was very grateful for Itachi's brief and simple explanation, as she had no idea what she would have said to Sasuke. The boy was undoubtedly going to miss his father, but all she could hope was that he hadn't laid a filthy hand on him as well. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel.

_Five years._

How on Earth could she have been so oblivious? It was true that she was at work for a good portion of the day, but she couldn't believe it had gone on for so long without her even being suspicious. Well, come to think of it, around five years ago was when she first noticed Itachi's childlike exuberance fading. He used to smile so often and laugh all the time, but suddenly it just stopped. She was worried as any good mother should be, but she just chalked it up to him maturing.

She felt incredibly stupid.

Mikoto thanked whatever deities exist for her deciding to skip grocery shopping and come home early today. Her poor, poor baby... It was all her fault. She should have noticed something was horribly wrong when her baby constantly complained of his back and stomach hurting and throwing up a lot. She should have realized his fear of grown men was less than normal. Mikoto couldn't imagine having to go through something as horrible as living with your own rapist.

_I've failed him as a mother._

The lady raven shook her head lightly to clear away any self-loathing thoughts.

"So, Sasuke?" She said in her best cheery voice.

"Yeah?"

"How was Naruto's?"

Sasuke scowled. "Well, Kushina-san and Minato-san are really nice, but Naruto's just a dobe."

"Sasuke!" Mikoto chastised, a small laugh evident in her voice. "That's not a very nice thing to be calling your friend."

Sasuke pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Whatever."

Itachi chuckled and poked Sasuke's forehead with his free hand.

"Kaa-san is right, you know."

Sasuke just pouted more to both Itachi and Mikoto's amusement.

* * *

It was only a short drive home, but already Sasuke looked as though he was falling asleep.

"Would you mind carrying him upstairs and tucking him in?" Mikoto whispered to her eldest. Itachi nodded and scooped Sasuke into his arms bridal style. Sasuke yawned and his eyelids continued to droop.

"'Niki?" Sasuke whispered once they were inside.

"Yes?"

"Can I sleep with you 'gain?"

Itachi smiled softly.

"Sure."

He heard Sasuke sigh contently and felt him snuggle closer.

Once in his room, Itachi gently laid Sasuke down under the covers and tucked him in. Normally he would have told Sasuke to brush his teeth, but the poor kid was barely awake.

"I'll be right back, Otouto," Itachi whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his little brother's temple. Sasuke made a small noise of acknowledgement and snuggled into the blankets. Itachi gently closed his bedroom door, careful that it didn't make too much noise, and made his way downstairs.

"Mother?" He called out softly once he was in the living room.

"I'm in the kitchen! Are you hungry?" Mikoto answered.

"No," Itachi replied with a gentle shake of his head as he walked into the kitchen. "I just came to say goodnight and that Sasuke asked to sleep in my room tonight."

Itachi paused for a moment, seeming to think hard about something.

"Thank you."

Mikoto blinked her eyes in confusion. "For what, dear?"

Itachi swallowed and shuffled a bit on his feet.

"For coming home when you did."

Mikoto's face darkened just the slightest shade.

"Itachi, I should have stopped it before it began. I don't know why you're thanking me."

 _I've failed you as a mother_ , she added in her head.

Itachi shook his head, his long raven tresses swaying slightly in their loose ponytail.

"Don't blame yourself, mother. You couldn't possibly have known what that man was capable of."

Mikoto frowned but stepped over to Itachi and pulled him into a quick hug.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?" She said. "But are you sure you aren't hungry? You haven't had dinner."

Itachi nodded his head as his mother released him. "Goodnight, Kaa-san."

"Goodnight, Itachi. I love you."

"I love you too," the young raven replied as he left the kitchen.

* * *

_"Stop struggling, Itachi, or it'll just hurt more."_

_The man's bulky frame loomed above the tiny raven. Itachi tried to move his arms, his legs, anything, but he was held back._

_"Please, dad," Itachi's young voice pleaded. "Stop! I'm scared." His eyes were brimming with tears that had yet to be shed as he trembled. Fugaku smiled, his mouth stretching itself into a sickening smirk, and he began to play with Itachi's hair. He leaned down until his breath was ghosting over his small son's ear._

_"Good."_

Itachi awoke with a start. He was breathing heavily, covered in sweat, and on the verge of a panic attack.

 _I don't want to remember,_ he thought to himself as he fought off the tears that were threatening to spill. He held a hand over his heart. He could feel it beating erratically.

"Mmm...'Niki?"

Itachi had forgotten all about Sasuke sleeping in his bed tonight but he was more than thankful for the comfort.

"I'm sorry for waking you, Sasuke," he whispered as he brought the boy closer to himself. Sasuke yawned and snuggled into his brother's chest.

"What's wrong?"

"Just a bad dream, Otouto. Nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep."

Sasuke nodded and began to doze off again, his gentle, steady breathing slowly lulling Itachi back to sleep.

* * *

Itachi stayed home from school the next day and Mikoto stayed home from work. Sasuke whined about wanting to stay home as well, but a stern "go to school, Otouto" and a kiss on the forehead from Itachi was enough to send the small boy on his way. Once Sasuke left, the two Uchiha's sat down in the living room to discuss where to go from here.

"Would you be alright with going to therapy, honey?"

Itachi seemed thoughtful. "I suppose it couldn't hurt," He mused.

Mikoto shot him a pained smile. "We're going to have to deal with court soon," She said.

Itachi grimaced. He would rather not have to describe exactly what his father had done to him to a bunch of strangers.

"I figured as much."

Both fell silent for a moment, Mikoto fiddling with the hem of her dress and Itachi staring at the ground. Things were going to be different, undoubtedly, but it was definitely for the best.

"Do you hate me?" Mikoto asked.

Itachi blinked a few times in confusion, trying to register what his mother just asked.

"No, of course not. Why on Earth would I hate you?" He inquired with a tilt of his head.

Mikoto sighed hugely and brought her thumb to her lip. She chewed lightly on the nail. It was a bad habit, one that Fugaku had detested, but one that calmed her nonetheless.

"I...I should have been able to stop it. You...you shouldn't have had, have had-" She stopped talking for a moment as her voice began to crack. After taking a moment to compose herself, she continued.

"I feel like I'm partially responsible," she whispered, her eyes downcast.

Itachi shook his head.

"You are in no way responsible for that man's actions."

Mikoto began chewing on her thumbnail again as they fell into silence.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" She asked.

Itachi let out a huge sigh. "Naturally, I wanted to, but...he threatened Sasuke."

Mikoto's eyes grew wide as she waited for him to continue.

"He told me that if I didn't continue to...satisfy his needs, he would have to turn to someone else. That someone else being my baby brother." Itachi squeezed his hands into fists before continuing. "He also told me that even if I tried to tell someone, no one would believe that the great Uchiha Fugaku would be capable of something as sickening as what he did to me. He said they would laugh at me, and call me crazy and that if he ever got wind of it, he would beat me to a bloody pulp and...take Sasuke in front of me."

Itachi's voice was mostly emotionless, but he looked like he was going to vomit at the mental image his words had produced. So did Mikoto.

"I-I can't believe I married...that."

"He was a very good liar."

The young raven's face contorted for a moment and he clutched at his stomach.

"E-Excuse me," he gasped out as he fled to the bathroom. Once over the toilet, he began to heave, but his stomach was entirely empty aside from stomach acid so it really didn't help. Mikoto soon appeared behind her son, and held his bangs back from his face as his stomach continued to wretch. She rubbed his back as soothingly as she could while she waited for it to die down.

A mantra of  _it's all my fault, it's all my fault, oh_ God _it's all my fault_  was playing through her head the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts c:


	3. Questions

"Nii-san, is Tou-san coming home soon?" Sasuke asked with a mouthful of cereal. Itachi froze for a second, but soon continued pouring himself a bowl of cereal as well.

"What makes you ask that?"

Sasuke actually waited until he finished chewing and swallowed to speak this time. "Well, he's been gone for almost a year, Aniki, and you and Kaa-san  _still_  won't tell me anything," he said with a pout. Itachi sighed and sat down next to his little brother at the table.

"Like I told you, he's…just been very sick, that's all. Don't worry about it."

Sasuke's pout deepened, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nii-san! That doesn't help. I'm worried about dad!"

Itachi sighed deeply and took a bite of his breakfast. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment, before turning to face the pouting young raven.

"It's not something I'd really like to talk about, Otouto. I'm sorry."

Sasuke dropped his arms to his side and sighed exasperatedly. "You're so mean, Nii-san!" He whined. Itachi sighed again, and continued to eat his breakfast. Sasuke sent his most 'menacing' glare towards his older brother and puffed out his cheeks angrily.

"Stop treating me like a little kid," he grumbled.

"It's not that I'm trying to treat you like a little kid, Sasuke," Itachi muttered.

"Whatever." He shoveled the rest of his cereal in his mouth and got up to put his bowl in the sink.

He just couldn't stand it when his Nii-san did that! He was definitely treating him like a little kid, which Sasuke wasn't. He was eight now, after all. He's practically a big kid!

"Sasuke…"

Sasuke 'eep'ed' a little. Why did Itachi always have to sneak up on him like that?

The elder raven crouched down and turned Sasuke to face him. He pushed the boy's bangs off of his forehead, and smiled softly at his little brother.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked.

Sasuke crossed his arms as a look of childish grumpiness overtook his features.

"Yes."

Itachi sighed, and brought the smaller raven in for a hug.

"Everything I've ever done has been to protect you, Sasuke, because I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt. Even if that means I can't tell you some things," he said as he rubbed the tiny raven's back.

Sasuke's face softened, and he leaned into his big brother's embrace. He could never truly stay mad at him.

"It's okay, Aniki, but I just wish you would tell me stuff like this. I'm a big boy now!"

Itachi chuckled softly to himself. "Yes, and you're growing up to be a very smart boy, Sasuke."

Sasuke beamed and hugged his big brother tighter. There was a light and fluttery feeling in the pit of the little boy's stomach every time he was close to his Aniki, and it only seemed to get worse every time the elder said something nice to him, which was often. Itachi pulled away from the hug and kissed Sasuke lightly on the forehead. The tiny raven began blushing a little at the small gesture of affection and the fluttery feeling in his stomach got ten times worse. He decided he was going to ask his mom about that weird feeling later.

"Well, what would you like to do today, Otouto?" It was Saturday, and Mikoto was off at work so both boys would need to find a way to entertain themselves.

Sasuke was still blushing a bit, and this caused the Itachi to eye him curiously. "Are you alright? You're a bit flushed," he said. The tiny raven nodded his head vigorously.

"Yeah! I'm fine, Aniki." He said, silently willing his blush away. "Could we go to the park or something? Pleeeease?"

Itachi stood up and patted Sasuke on the head.

"Sure, that sounds nice."

Sasuke grinned and scampered away to go get ready to go. Itachi smiled after the little raven and grabbed his dish from the table. He got to work on washing both of their dishes soon after.

A few minutes later, little footfalls could be heard pattering down the stairs and not long after Sasuke appeared, fully dressed for the day in white cargo shorts and a blue, high-collared t-shirt. He smiled at his big brother.

"I'm all ready!"

Smiling softly, Itachi dried his hands on a dishtowel and took the young boy's hand. The fluttery feeling in Sasuke's tummy was back again at the feeling of his Aniki's hand against his own, but he tried his best to ignore it. They soon left the house, Itachi locking up behind them, and began walking down the street to their neighborhood park.

It was only a five minute walk, but Sasuke kept it interesting with his idle chatter about 'annoying pink-haired girls with huge foreheads and dumb blonde Dobes'. Once they finally got to the park, Sasuke dragged his big brother over towards the swing-set. Itachi noted that the park was surprisingly empty for a Saturday morning, with only a few other kids and their parents around.

"Push me, 'Niki!"

Itachi chuckled and stood behind his baby brother. He pushed him lightly, reveling in all the small giggles he earned.

Eventually, Sasuke grew bored of the constant up-and-down motion of the swings and ran off to play on the slides, leaving Itachi off to his own devices. He kept a close eye on his baby brother, but made his way over to a bench and decided to relax.

Itachi began thinking back to when he was around Sasuke's age as he watched the tiny raven run around with seemingly endless energy. The elder raven had been so different at 8 years old, thanks to his father. Itachi's face darkened as he recalled his most despised memory.

_"Did you have a good day at school?"_

_"Yes, father."_

_"Well, your mother won't be home for awhile... how about you and I play a game to pass the time?"_

_Itachi peered up at his father with large, curious young eyes._

_"I guess that would be fun." He replied, his voice quiet and respectful._

_Fugaku smiled and led the small boy upstairs, and to his and Mikoto's room. All niceties were done away with once they reached there and he roughly shoved the small boy towards the bed in the center of the room, earning a small yelp from his son. The eldest Uchiha shut and locked the door behind them, causing Itachi to look at him strangely._

_Itachi was clearly confused as to why his father had suddenly stopped being as kind as he had been mere moments before. Fugaku snickered a bit, then stalked towards Itachi. He roughly pushed his son onto their large bed and crawled on top of him._

_"T-Tou-san? What are you-"_

_The tiny raven was cut off by his father's lips crashing onto his own and a hand hurriedly undoing the clasp of his pants. Itachi tried his best to wiggle his way out of his father's grasp, but he was held back by a hand much larger than his own._

_"Stop struggling, Itachi, or it'll just hurt more."_

Itachi was panting and clutching at his chest. He'd become used to having frequent anxiety attacks, but it still didn't make it any easier. He grit his teeth together as he tried to even out his breathing. Out of all the times his father had touched him, the first was still the most painful to remember and caused him the worst attacks. Having all his blind, childish trust and respect broken in one instant was still difficult to comprehend.

He had only been  _seven._

"Aniki!" The sound of a small voice calling his name broke Itachi out of his thoughts. Little Sasuke was rushing towards him with a huge grin plastered on his face. "I'm…kinda…hungry," he panted out once he made his way over to his big brother. Itachi smirked and playfully ruffled the small boy's hair.

"We just had breakfast a short while ago, Otouto." He chuckled. Sasuke pouted.

"But I'm hungry again, Nii-san!" Itachi smiled even wider, and stood up, taking the small boy's hand in his own as he did so.

"Then let's go home."

* * *

After they got home and had a light lunch of instant ramen, Sasuke insisted on them watching television. Once they settled into the couch, Sasuke scrambled up and sat himself in his Aniki's lap.

"You sure are cuddly today, Sasuke," Itachi chuckled, causing the tiny raven to blush.

Sasuke didn't know why, but he really enjoyed being close to his older brother, whether it be sleeping in the same bed as him, curling up on his lap, or even just spending time with him. He just always wanted to be with his big brother, no matter what.

Sasuke positioned himself so his back was against Itachi's front and the elder wasted no time in wrapping his thin arms around the younger. Itachi settled his head on the tiny raven's left shoulder and Sasuke sighed contently. Yes, this was perfect.

Sasuke picked up the remote that sat on the end table next to them and began flipping through the channels to find something good to watch. He eventually settled on some movie that looked like it would be funny (although perhaps not exactly age appropriate), and relaxed into his Aniki's hold.

Sasuke began to doze off, clearly worn out from his time running around on the playground earlier. Itachi allowed his Otouto to fall asleep on him and smiled gently as his baby brother's breathing quickly became deep and even.

 _He's just so cute,_ he thought to himself.

Itachi still thanked whatever God exists for his mother saving him from the hands of his filthy and depraved father. By saving him, she saved Sasuke as well. Sasuke never had to be violently stripped of his innocence as Itachi had been and the little boy never would be. Itachi's smile grew a little bit as he thought of this.

His baby brother was safe.

Mikoto got home around 6 that night and smiled gently to herself as she saw both of her boys fast asleep on the couch. Sasuke was still on his Aniki's lap and Itachi had fallen asleep sitting up with his arms wrapped around his baby brother. The television was still on and Mikoto quietly tiptoed into the room to shut it off. She decided to let her boys sleep until she finished making dinner.

The past year had been a bit difficult on everyone. Keeping the whole ordeal a secret from Sasuke had definitely proven to be tricky since the boy was far more perceptive than most kids his age, but they somehow managed it. Mikoto knew she couldn't keep it a secret from him forever, though.

Making enough money to keep the house had become hard as well considering they had to rely only on Mikoto's income now that Fugaku was in prison. She took on even  _more_  hours at work, and truth be told, she was exhausted.

The lady raven sighed softly to herself as she began getting out the ingredients for dinner. She knew that everything was better now that that damn bastard was out of their lives for good, but she couldn't help sometimes missing the man she  _thought_  she knew; the kind, gentle, caring father to her sons that she once believed she married.

She was starting to get a little lonely.

Mikoto was so lost in thought she didn't notice Sasuke patter into the kitchen.

"Kaa-san?" He mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eye.

Mikoto jumped a little, but turned to face the sleepy little raven.

"Yes dear?" She replied as happily as she could. Her happiness sounded fake and forced to her own ears, but her son didn't seem to pick up on it.

Sasuke seemed to be thinking hard about something and he furrowed his eyebrows and huffed a little. He pattered over closer to his mother, and tugged on the sleeve of her shirt.

"I have a question." He said matter-of-factly. Mikoto tilted her head slightly, but got down on her knees so she was level with the small boy.

"You can ask me anything, dear," she said.

Sasuke huffed again. "Well…I get this funny feeling in my tummy sometimes! It's like there's butterflies in there," the small boy whined. "It's really weird, Kaa-san!"

Mikoto nearly squealed. How could her little boy be any more precious?

"Does it happen when you're around a certain person?" She asked, giggling slightly to herself and silently wondering which little girl or boy he set his sights on.  _He's so adorable_.

Sasuke nodded his head vigorously. "Yeah! And it gets even worse when they're nice to me or they hug me. What is it, Kaa-san?" He asked.

Mikoto patted the tiny raven on the head. "I think you have a crush, Sasuke," she said.

This only served to confuse the small raven even more. "A…crush? What's that?"

Mikoto giggled again. "Well…it means you like someone a lot. You'll understand it more when you're older."

Sasuke still looked completely confused, but then he began pouting again and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You and 'Tachi-nii-san are always hiding things from me," he grumbled.

Mikoto tilted her head to the side a little bit because of the younger's sudden shift in mood.

 _What brought this on all of a sudden?_  She thought to herself. "Sweetheart, what do you mean by that?"

"I'm not stupid, you know!" Sasuke shouted, startling his mother. "I've had no idea where dad's been for a whole year and neither of you will tell me anything!" Sasuke paused for a second to wipe his eyes. He could feel angry tears brimming and he didn't want to cry. It just wasn't fair!

Mikoto blinked a couple of times in confusion. "What does your father have to do with this conversation?" She asked, clearly confused as to why her son had brought all of this up.

Sasuke pouted again. "Itachi won't tell me, you won't tell me… ugh!" He stomped his foot in frustration and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving a very confused Mikoto behind. Not long after he disappeared did Itachi come walking into the kitchen, looking half asleep.

"What was that all about? I heard yelling, and it woke me up," he mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Sorry, dear," Mikoto said, standing up and brushing off the legs of her pants as she did so. "Sasuke just got upset all of a sudden."

Itachi perked up a bit. "What was he upset about?" He asked.

Mikoto sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "He wants to know where his father is."

"That again? He asked me about it earlier today," Itachi said. "I guess we're going to have to tell him soon."

Mikoto shot her oldest a dubious look. "But how on Earth could we tell him something like that?!" She exclaimed. "He won't even understand! He's too young!"

"I know that, but we should at least tell him that Tou-san isn't going to be coming back."

Mikoto slumped against the counter behind her and chewed on her thumbnail.

"I don't want to ruin his image of his father for him. It isn't fair, Itachi. He doesn't have to know anything's wrong, at least not yet."

"He isn't an idiot. He knows there's something off about his father just 'disappearing' like he did. Our half-assed excuses aren't going to work for much longer."

"Itachi! Watch your language! And yes, I'm well aware of that. Just…just go see what he's up to and let me make dinner in peace!" She cried. Itachi left without another word.

The elder made his way upstairs and wasn't surprised to find Sasuke sulking on his big brother's bed. Sasuke seldom spent any time in his own room, after all.

"Sasuke, can I talk to you?"

Sasuke shot him his best glare in hopes of being left to brood in peace, but the elder was hardly frightened by the boy's childish antics.

"Otouto, you really aren't very scary when you look at me like that. It's quite adorable, actually," he chuckled.

"N-Nii-san!" Sasuke sputtered.

Itachi paid no heed to him and sauntered over with the sole intention of flicking his childish baby brother on the forehead; which, he did. He received an indignant squawk in return. Itachi smirked at his little brother as he clutched at his injured forehead.

"You're so mean!" He whined. He detested it when Itachi did that to him.

Itachi's smirk softened into a slight smile and he hugged the tiny raven to himself. He began stroking the younger's hair and he felt Sasuke lean into his touch.

"I'm sorry, Otouto. I didn't just come up here to bother you, though."

Sasuke peered up at his elder with curious, albeit skeptical, obsidian eyes.

"Then why're you here?"

Itachi sighed, releasing the raven, and sat down next to him on his bed.

"I came here to talk to you about what happened to Tou-san."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment telling me what you think.


	4. Answers

Sasuke looked surprised, to say the least. He supposed his constant begging must have finally paid off. But the look on his Aniki's face made the tiny raven think that maybe, just  _maybe_  he was better off not knowing exactly where his father was, or if he was really coming back any time soon or not.

But in the end, his curiosity would always be the death of him.

"Tell me, Aniki."

Itachi sighed deeply and buried his head in his hands. He was silent for a few more moments, seemingly trying to find the right words to say. What was he supposed to tell an 8-year-old, anyway?

 _Yeah, our father's a convicted child rapist, so he's_ probably _not coming back. Sorry about that._

"You know how I've told you that Tou-san is sick?" Itachi finally whispered after what felt like an eternity to the younger. Sasuke nodded slightly, although he soon realized that Itachi couldn't see him.

"Y-Yeah."

Itachi sighed before finally continuing.

"He…you know how mother and father were supposed to… _love_  just each other and kiss and do things like that together, and with no one else?"

"Yeah."

Itachi paused once again. He was trying to get his breathing under control and fight off the impending panic attack that always came along with talking or thinking about his father for extended periods of time. That was something his therapist had figured out soon after their initial meeting when he had had to be rushed to the emergency room because he just  _couldn't fucking breath_.

"Well, Tou-san felt that way about…someone else. Someone who he wasn't supposed to feel that way about and it was hurting the people around him so he had to…leave, because he needed to be cured of this…illness."

Sasuke paused for a moment, trying to process this new information. The pieces slowly clicked together in his head and his face fell.

"So…he's not coming back any time soon then?"

Itachi removed his hands from his face and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, little brother, but Tou-san is gone for good."

Sasuke's face fell even more and tears began to well up in his wide, onyx eyes. "B-but…I miss him," he whispered as he tried to fight off the tears that were threatening to spill over any second. He raised his chubby fists to wipe at his watery eyes.

Itachi tried his best to smile reassuringly at his little brother and pulled him in for another hug. Sasuke's shoulders began to shake and he clutched on to the fabric of Itachi's shirt as tears began to spill, regardless of his consent. He was just so  _sad._

He continued to cry for a few more minutes, and Itachi rubbed soothing circles on his back with one hand while the other played with his soft raven spikes. The elder raven absentmindedly found himself wondering how hair so rebellious could still be so soft, but, then again, everything about Sasuke was soft and innocent.

Eventually, Sasuke ran out of tears, but he still stayed locked in his older brother's embrace. There was just something so  _comforting_  about his big brother. The way he smelled, the way his stronger arms felt around Sasuke's tinier body…it just felt so _safe_.

"…here."

"Hm? I can't understand you with your face buried in my shirt, Otouto."

Sasuke moved his head so that he was peering up at his big brother. His eyes were still red and puffy, but he stopped crying a few minutes before.

"At least you'll always be here," Sasuke repeated, his voice cracking just the slightest bit from crying.

Itachi smiled warmly at his little brother and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'll never leave you, Sasuke."

* * *

Dinner didn't go very well.

Mikoto was freaking out about how Sasuke looked as though he'd been crying his eyes out (which he had been) and then began blaming Itachi for it. Sasuke told her that no, it 'wasn't Nii-san's fault' and that he was 'just sad that Tou-san was never coming back'; this, of course, had caused a new round of hysterics from Mikoto.

"What exactly did you tell him, Itachi?!" She yell-whispered after she'd pulled the elder raven aside and out of earshot of the younger.

Itachi glared at his mother.

"I simply told him that father had  _loved_ \- for lack of a more _fitting_  word- someone who he shouldn't have had feelings for, and he needed to leave because that made him sick and he needed to be cured. I didn't say anything wrong."

Mikoto heaved an angry sigh. "B-but I didn't want you to say  _anything_  without talking to me first! It's just lie after lie after lie!" The lady raven's voice was rising in volume, but she was far too upset to care at the moment. "I can't fucking do this anymore, Itachi. I can't keep making things up as I go along! What's going to happen when Sasuke finds out the truth, huh?! Then what?"

Itachi took a few steps back from his mother. She was honestly quite frightening when she got like this.

"I'm sorry, mother, but he was really upset and I felt as though we owed it to him to at least let him know that Tou-san is gone for good. It wasn't fair for us to keep his hopes up for so long, anyway." Itachi chose his words carefully. He knew that the slightest wrong choice of words could set his mother off even further.

Mikoto tugged at her hair a bit. "J-just…" She paused to take a few deep, calming breaths.

"Thank you for telling him  _gently_  that his father isn't coming back. I suppose, when he's older, we'll have to tell him the truth, but…this works for now. Thank you."

Itachi could probably get whiplash from that woman's mood swings.

He nodded and returned to the dining room. He was still a little shaken up from his mother's sudden burst of anger, but he'd really begun to grow quite used to it by now.

Ever since she found out what Fugaku did to Itachi, she became hyper-protective of her two sons. She even considered homeschooling them for a while but after a month of begging from Itachi and Sasuke, she decided that they could still handle public school. She was like a mother bear, except slightly worse. Mikoto overreacted at the slightest thing regarding her babies' well-being.

 _I think she needs therapy more than I do,_ Itachi thought as he took his seat next to his baby brother.

"Is Kaa-san calm now?" Sasuke whispered. He'd also grown used to her mood swings, though they still scared the tiny raven quite a bit.

Itachi nodded and picked up his chopsticks.

"Everything's fine, little brother. Now eat your dinner before it gets cold."

* * *

Sunday was therapy day.

It wasn't that Itachi  _disliked_  therapy, he just didn't really like talking about the things he was in therapy for.

Kakashi was nice enough and didn't even make Itachi speak on the first day. He asked him simple yes-or-no questions and Itachi nodded or shook his head in response. Their sessions progressed from there, and by the third session, Itachi was actually responding verbally.

It was one of their later sessions when Kakashi tried to go in-depth about the abuse and Itachi's worst panic attack struck and landed him in the hospital for a couple hours. His mother practically had a heart attack and almost didn't let him go back. Kakashi eventually convinced her that therapy was best for Itachi and even kindly suggested she got into some as well. She… _politely_  declined that offer.

"So, Itachi-kun, how have things been going at home?" Kakashi asked once they settled into their seats.

Itachi shrugged. "Things have been normal. Mother still has her mood swings, but I think we've learned how to keep things from escalating too badly when she's angry."

"That's good." Kakashi nodded. "Has she reconsidered therapy?"

Itachi quirked a delicately-shaped eyebrow.

"You and I both know how she is."

Kakashi nodded again. "True, but I do wish she would reconsider."

The rest of the session consisted of idle chatter about Itachi's everyday life and soon their hour-long session came to an end.

"It was nice talking with you, Itachi-kun," Kakashi said with a crinkle of his eye. He patted the young teenager on the shoulder and Itachi smiled softly in return.

"See you next week, Kakashi-san," the raven said as he pushed open the front door of Kakashi's small office. His mother was parked in front of the building and Itachi made his way over to the car. He then opened the passenger side door and sat down.

"How did it go today, Itachi?" Mikoto asked once her son had settled into his seat and fastened his seat belt.

"It was fine." Itachi glanced into the back seat, and was surprised to find it empty. "Where's Sasuke?"

"Oh, he's at Naruto's. I'm about to pick him up."

Itachi nodded and began fiddling with the radio.

* * *

"Nii-san!" Sasuke exclaimed as he clambered into the backseat. "I missed you!"

Itachi smiled gently at his brother in the rear view mirror.

"I missed you as well, Otouto. How was Naruto's?"

"It was fine," Sasuke began as he buckled himself in. "He's still a total Usuratonkachi, but he's got cool video games."

"Sasuke! What have I told you about calling Naruto rude names?!" Their mother exclaimed.

"Sorry, Kaa-san," Sasuke mumbled with a smirk and an eye-roll. Itachi shook his head and chuckled a bit. His little brother was really far too adorable for his own good.

"Well boys, I'm going to the store to do some grocery shopping. Would you guys like to be dropped off at home or would you like to tag along?"

"I'm a bit tired, mother, so I may stay home," Itachi said.

Mikoto nodded her head.

"And you, Sasuke?"

"I wanna go wherever Nii-san goes!"

Mikoto rolled her eyes and chuckled a bit. "You're going to end up suffocating your big brother, Sasuke."

Sasuke pouted.

"It's fine, Kaa-san; I don't mind spending time with him."

Mikoto shrugged. "Just don't hesitate to tell him if you need some time alone. I'm sure he'd understand."

Sasuke's pout grew deeper, and he sulked for the remainder of the ride home. His Nii-san wouldn't get sick of him…right?

Once their mother pulled up into the driveway, Sasuke wasted no time in flinging the door open, jumping out of his seat, and rushing up to their front door. He waited patiently for his big brother to get there with the spare key and once his brother had finally unlocked the door, the tiny raven rushed upstairs. This time, however, he didn't go straight to his Aniki's room as he usually would. He went straight to his own room and locked the door behind him.

He plopped down on his bed and crossed his arms over his chest. His Nii-san  _couldn't_  get sick of him! It just wouldn't be fair. He didn't know what he'd do if he had to stop spending time with his big brother. The thought made his chest hurt and he didn't like the feeling one bit...but his big brother had said he'd never leave him…didn't he? But his Tou-san had left, so what was keeping his Nii-san from leaving, too?

There was a small knock on the door that startled Sasuke out of his melancholy thoughts.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?"

The tiny raven stayed silent, and glared at the door as if that alone could make his big brother leave. There was soon another knock and then the rattling of the doorknob trying to be turned.

"Please unlock the door, Otouto."

Sasuke pout-glared at the door some more, but refused to say a word. A couple moments of silence passed and the tiny raven still wouldn't respond.

Itachi sighed, but decided to let his brother cool off from whatever was upsetting him.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me, little brother," he said as he walked away.

Sasuke began panicking a bit- he didn't  _really_  want his brother to leave! What if he never spoke to him again because he was mad he didn't unlock the door? The tiny raven practically flung himself at his door and unlocked it with haste.

"D-Don't go!" He shouted.

Itachi turned around, one elegant eyebrow quirked at his younger brother's sudden shift in disposition.

"I thought you didn't want to talk to me?"

Sasuke shook his head wildly.

"N-no. I'm sorry." He looked as though he might start crying at any second, although he was really trying hard not to. "I just…I don't want to bother you."

Itachi's eyebrows furrowed.  _So that's what this is all about?_  He took a couple of small steps towards the tiny raven, and crouched down to his level.

"Otouto, you never bother me. Don't worry about what Kaa-san said." He petted the tiny raven softly on his head. "I'll never get sick of spending time with you."

Sasuke looked incredibly relieved.

"You… promise?"

Itachi nodded his head and smiled gently. "I promise."

Sasuke's tummy did that weird fluttery thing again, and he beamed at his older brother. He threw himself at Itachi and pulled the elder raven into the most bone-crushing hug his tiny frame could manage.

"Thank you, Aniki."

* * *

"Hey, Itachi-nii, what's a 'crush'?"

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at his brother before returning to reading his book.

"What makes you ask that?"

"Well, Kaa-san says I have one, but I don't know what that means!"

Itachi chuckled to himself, and shut his book. He decided to give his Otouto his undivided attention for this one.

"Well, a crush is when you feel romantically for someone. It's how fathers and mothers feel about one another."

Sasuke's mouth made a small 'o' and he nodded his head slowly.

"But…what if I have a crush on a…b-boy?" Sasuke averted his eyes and began blushing a bit, causing Itachi to laugh quietly to himself.

"Well, that's fine too."

Sasuke whipped his head up quickly. "It is?" He asked.

Itachi nodded, a small smile on his face.

"There's nothing wrong with a boy liking other boys, or a girl liking other girls. Your happiness is the only thing that matters."

Sasuke nodded his head slowly and a smile broke across his face. He wanted to tell his big brother that it was actually  _him_  he had a crush on, but for some reason he felt really nervous about telling him that. He decided to wait a little while.

Just then, they heard the rattling of keys in the front door and their mother soon pushed it open with her arms full of groceries.

"Would you boys mind helping me unload the car?" She asked, slightly out of breath.

"Not at all, mother," Itachi replied, setting down his book and heading towards the front door. Sasuke jumped up from his place on the couch and began trailing after his big brother, a smile still planted firmly on his adorable face.

He helped his brother carry the bags to the kitchen, though he could only handle the light ones. He couldn't wait to grow up and be strong like his Aniki!

* * *

"Mother, may I bring a friend home after school tomorrow?" Itachi asked at dinner.

"Of course, honey. Who do you want to have over?"

Itachi averted his eyes, much to his mother's amusement. Wait...was her baby  _blushing_?

"Her name's Konan."

Mikoto brought a hand to cover her mouth. No way! Her baby had a girlfriend!

"Of course you can have your  _girlfriend_  over."

Itachi nearly choked on the sip of water he'd been taking. "M-Mother! She is not my girlfriend!" He sputtered.

"Mhm, sure, honey. Whatever you say," Mikoto teased. "Tell her she can stay for dinner; I want to meet this girl!"

Itachi's face turned even redder, but he nodded and returned to eating his food.

Sasuke had regarded the whole exchange with mild amusement and heavy confusion. He wasn't exactly sure of what a girlfriend was.

_Is it like a girl who's a friend? Then why would Itachi-nii-san have started blushing and said she wasn't his 'girlfriend'? He'd said he wanted to have a friend over, so that means they're friends…_

Sasuke shook his head quickly. He was starting to get a headache from trying to figure all of this out! He could always just  _ask_  what a girlfriend is, but he didn't want to seem stupid. He decided he'd just wait to meet his big brother's girl-who-is-a-friend tomorrow. Maybe he'd be able to figure it out then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. Disappointments

"Hey, Dobe…what's a 'girlfriend'?"

Naruto looked up from his messy drawing to shoot a puzzled look at Sasuke.

"You seriously don't know what that is, Teme?" The small blonde replied, obviously surprised.

Sasuke merely shrugged his shoulders and plopped down in the desk next to his blonde friend. It was lunch time right now, but the young raven wasn't really hungry.

"I know I've heard it somewhere before, but I'm still kind of confused…" Sasuke mused while furrowing his eyebrows together. His mother didn't allow him to watch a lot of television or movies (unless she saw them and approved beforehand), and he wasn't a big TV watcher anyway, but from what he had been allowed to see he knew that a girlfriend was someone special.

But exactly  _how_  special?

Naruto sighed and picked up a blue magic marker. He began to messily color in the 'sky' of his drawing while trying to figure out the best way to explain this to Sasuke.

"Well, Kurama-nii-san has one of those. They go into his room sometimes and then I hear weird noises, 'ttebeyo…" The tiny blonde made a face at his drawing as he accidentally colored the wrong part, but soon continued his explanation. "But anyways, it means that they're the person you 'like' and 'date', or whatever. I don't know why anyone would want a girlfriend, though. Girls are so weird…" Naruto glanced up from his drawing for a moment to shoot a wistful glance towards a girl with bubble-gum pink hair. "'Cept for Sakura-chan, though. She's  _really_  pretty, 'ttebeyo," He sighed dreamily, resting one whiskered cheek in his hand.

Sasuke scrunched up his face.  _Ew._

"So wait…then you date the person you have a crush on?" Sasuke asked. Now things were starting to make more sense in his young mind.

The tiny blonde didn't immediately respond because he was too busy staring at Sakura with glazed-over eyes and a dumb, spaced-out expression on his face. The raven smacked him upside the head, and the blonde yelped like a wounded animal.

"Dobe!"

"Sorry, sorry! You don't have to hit me though, Sasuke-teme! Gosh…" Naruto pouted while rubbing at the bump that was forming on his head. "But yeah, that's right, dattebeyo."

Sasuke's face fell a little, but he turned his head so the Dobe wouldn't see it.

_Nii-san has a crush on Konan?_

* * *

Sasuke sighed before pushing open the front door of his house. He heard voices coming from inside, but they sounded like they were upstairs so he couldn't make out what they were saying. The tiny raven slipped off his shoes and set them aside. He then made his way down the hallway to the staircase and gently padded up the steps.

He heard laughter emanating from his brother's room. The door was slightly ajar and Sasuke tip-toed up to it as quietly as he could and peaked inside.

On his brother's bed sat the prettiest girl he'd ever seen in his short life. She had medium-length navy blue hair tied up in a pretty bun and perfect, porcelain skin. Even the way she was sitting on Itachi's bed with her hands folded neatly on her lap was extremely elegant and Sasuke was almost intimidated by her.

"Oh, you're home, Otouto."

Sasuke jumped a little. He'd been so busy staring at the girl that he hadn't even noticed Itachi looking at him! The tiny raven blushed and pushed open the door further so he could step inside.

"H-Hi."

"He's so cute!" Konan gushed. Sasuke's eyes widened for a moment, but then they narrowed and he began pouting. His Nii-san was the only one allowed to call him cute! (Well, and his mother…)

Itachi chuckled, and made a paw-like motion with his hand, indicating that he wanted Sasuke to come closer. The tiny raven scampered over to his big brother but all he received for his efforts was a soft poke on the forehead.

"Darn it, Aniki!" Sasuke exclaimed, clutching at his injury. Konan and Itachi laughed softly at his adorable reaction.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist."

Sasuke continued pouting and was about to leave the room when Itachi suddenly pulled him down onto his lap. The younger raven instantly turned tomato-red and tried to wiggle out of his Aniki's grasp, but he was held back. He grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest in defeat.

"I'm sorry for poking you, Sasuke," Itachi chuckled. "This is Konan-chan, by the way." He added, smiling softly at the pretty girl sitting next to him. Sasuke scowled at her.

"Right…your  _girlfriend._ "

The shocked looks on both Konan's and Itachi's faces were priceless.

Konan discretely turned away and coughed into her hand, obviously trying to hide her blush from both brothers' eyes. Itachi looked like he might die from embarrassment.

"S-She…we're not together like  _that_ , Otouto." Itachi stuttered.  _At least not yet._ He added in his head.

Sasuke scoffed. He saw the way his big brother smiled at her and it made him feel something inside that he never felt before.

 _What's this weird feeling in my chest?_ He wondered. Whatever it was, he didn't like it one bit.

"But you have a crush on her, right?" The tiny raven spat testily. He saw the way his brother was acting around her! He was pretty sure that was a crush!

Konan flushed an even darker shade of red and Itachi made a sort of strangled choking noise in the back of his throat.

"Perhaps you should go play in your room, Otouto," the elder raven choked out, clearly trying to hide his mortification. Sasuke huffed and crawled off his Aniki's lap. He didn't spare even one backwards glance while leaving his big brother's room.

He knew very well what it felt like to be angry, but this feeling… _this_ feeling was so much stronger. He wanted to scream and cry and throw things because of that stupid, pretty girl!

The tiny raven slammed the door of his room harder than he intended, but hey, he was mad! Sasuke stomped over to his bed and threw himself on it. He could feel angry tears welling up in his eyes and as much as he wanted to keep them from spilling, he couldn't. He cried softly into his pillow as his mind kept replaying the image of his brother smiling at that dumb girl.

* * *

"Sorry about that," Itachi sighed. "I don't know what's gotten into him. He normally doesn't say those kinds of things."

Konan waved her hand.

"It's fine, Itachi-kun. I know how brothers can be. I have two, after all," she laughed.

Itachi really loved her laugh. It was light and carefree, and it seemed to infect those around her with happiness. He smiled in return.

"He looks like a smaller version of you," Konan mused, a pretty finger pressed to her lip in thought.

Suddenly, they heard a door slam.

"That was Sasuke…"

"I don't think he likes me very much," Konan sighed. She didn't know why the tiny raven seemed to have taken an instant dislike to her, but she wanted to find out. "Should I leave? I could call my parents to come get me."

"No!" Itachi shouted. He soon blushed at his outburst and brought a hand to cover his mouth. Konan giggled to herself. Itachi was so cute!

"I mean…you haven't been here for very long and my mother wanted to meet you at dinner…" Itachi scratched at the side of his face with his pointer finger and stared at the floor.

Konan giggled again.

"Okay, Itachi-kun."

Itachi smiled softly and got up from his bed, offering his hand to Konan as he did so. She took it with a slight blush, and they made their way downstairs.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" He asked once they were in the living room. He walked over to the stack of DVDs they had next to their TV. "We have comedy, romance…horror."

Konan perked up a bit.

"I like horror."

Itachi's head shot up from the DVDs he'd been shuffling through and he quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing. Konan was just full of surprises. He inserted the disc into the DVD player and the two sat down on the couch to watch the movie.

Itachi didn't know exactly  _how_  it happened, but eventually they ended up cuddling together. His arm was draped around her shoulder and she was snuggled up to his chest.

He was so happy just holding her like that and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

* * *

"She's so pretty!" Mikoto exclaimed. "Nice job, Itachi!"

Itachi groaned and covered his face with his hands. Perhaps inviting Konan over hadn't been the best idea.

Konan giggled and muttered a shy 'thank you' and was soon stolen away by Mikoto. The lady raven had mentioned something about 'girl time', but that was the only explanation Itachi was given.

Sasuke had stayed in his room for the past hour and a half and the elder raven was beginning to get worried. He figured now was as good a time as any to go and check up on him.

"Sasuke?" He said softly while rapping on his Otouto's bedroom door.

"Go away."

Itachi sighed, and tried turning the doorknob. It was unlocked, much to his surprise. He pushed the door open and stepped into the dimly-lit room. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Why don't you have any lights switched on, Otouto?" He asked as he walked over and switched on Sasuke's bedside lamp. The tiny raven buried his face in his pillow. He seemed intent on ignoring his big brother. Itachi sighed and knelt next to his bed. He reached out a hand to play with Sasuke's hair.

"What's got you so upset?" He asked, his voice gentle.

Sasuke mumbled something unintelligible into his pillow. Itachi sighed again.

"Sasuke, I can't understand you when you do that."

The raven turned his head slightly so he was facing his big brother. Itachi noticed that his eyes were red and puffy and he looked extremely sad.

_Has he been crying?_

"Sasuke," He began, his voice even gentler than before. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Sasuke stayed silent, but continued to stare at his big brother with that same forlorn look plastered on his face. Eventually, he responded.

"I don't know…my heart hurts," he whispered.

Itachi tilted his head slightly.

_Now what does he mean by that?_

"You mean you're sad?" Itachi murmured while he continued to play with his little brother's hair.

Sasuke nodded.

"Yeah… but it feels different this time." He said the last part so softly that Itachi had to strain his ears to hear it.

"Boys! Dinner!" Mikoto shouted from downstairs. Itachi shot another worried look towards his little brother, but the tiny raven was currently sitting up and wiping any remaining tears from his eyes.

"Do you want to talk more later, Otouto?"

Sasuke shook his head and stood.

"It's okay, Aniki," he said as cheerfully as he could manage. "I'll be fine."

And with that, the small raven scampered out of his room, leaving a very worried and confused Itachi behind.

* * *

Sasuke made up his mind that he was going to be as nice as possible to Konan even though he didn't like that Itachi had a crush on her. If she made his brother happy, then that was all that mattered, right?

Sasuke sighed dejectedly as he spooned himself some rice. Their mother had ordered Japanese take-out tonight and it looked delicious, though he wasn't really hungry.

"Thank you for letting Konan-chan come over, Kaa-san." Itachi said as he picked up his chopsticks. Mikoto smiled.

"Of course! She's such a sweet girl!" She gushed. Konan began blushing again and took a dainty bite of her food. Sasuke grimaced a bit, though he really tried to hide it the best he could.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

After dinner, Mikoto offered to drive Konan home. The girl initially refused, but Mikoto insisted and eventually worn the poor girl down. It was only a ten-minute drive to Konan's house, anyway. Once they pulled into her driveway, Itachi offered to walk her to the door.

"I had fun today, Itachi-kun," she said. Itachi blushed a little, but smiled and nodded his head.

"I did, too," he replied. Itachi froze for a moment and a series of emotions flitted across his face. Konan quirked her head to the side, confused as to why he suddenly seemed so nervous.

The raven soon took a deep breath and lightly caressed Konan's cheek, absentmindedly noticing how soft it was. He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers briefly. The kiss was light and innocent, but both teenagers were blushing profusely and Itachi's heart felt like it was going to hammer out of his chest. When the raven pulled away, he averted his eyes from Konan.

_Did she like it? She didn't pull away or act disgusted…_

Konan giggled and Itachi snapped his eyes back towards her.

"You're so cute, Itachi-kun," she said, a light blush still powdering her normally pale cheeks. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

The blunette leaned in and pecked Itachi on the cheek before opening her front door and heading inside. Itachi stood there a moment longer, completely dazed.

 _I guess she liked it,_ he thought, a small smile slowly spreading across his face.

Sasuke buried his face in his hands. He was trying really hard to not start crying again. The young raven saw the whole thing from his seat in the car and his tiny heart was breaking for the second time that day.

 _Why am I feeling like this?_  He thought miserably as he wiped at his eyes to get rid of unshed tears.  _I should be happy for Itachi-nii…he's obviously happy._

Sasuke barely even noticed his brother get back into the car, nor did he register his mother's gushing about what a gentleman her baby was growing up to be. All he could think about was how much his chest hurt and all he wanted to do was go to sleep and forget that today ever happened.

* * *

Sasuke didn't make a fuss about sleeping in his own bed that night. The pain in his chest only seemed to get worse every time he looked at his Aniki and he really just wanted to be by himself. His big brother was still acting like a love-struck puppy and didn't notice that his Otouto was still upset, but Sasuke didn't really care. He just wanted to be alone.

The tiny raven curled up under his comforter and sighed to himself. He still didn't know why he was feeling this way! It wasn't exactly anger, it definitely  _was_  sadness but there was something else mixed in there too. It was just weird! And it hurt a  _lot._  He just wanted it to go away. But most of all…

He wanted his big brother to treat him the way he treated Konan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! :D


	6. Tears & Scratches

"Sasuke, wake up!"

The eleven-year-old rolled over onto his side and draped an arm over his face, trying to shield his eyes from the unforgiving sun that was filtering through his blinds.

"'Niki…go away," the boy mumbled.

Itachi sighed exasperatedly and pinched the bridge of his nose. Sasuke was definitely  _not_  a morning (or early afternoon) person.

"Otouto, wake up."

Sasuke groaned, but lifted his arm slightly so he could halfheartedly glare at his older brother.

"You're a real ass sometimes, you know that?"

"Language, Otouto! I swear…" Itachi sighed yet again. When did his little brother pick up words like that?

"Tch. Stop treating me like a little kid," Sasuke grumbled as he sleepily sat up and threw his legs over the side of his bed. "Why's it so important for me to wake up, anyway? It's Saturday, for crying out loud!"

Itachi groaned. It was times like this when he missed the sweet, adorable,  _obedient_  little boy his brother used to be.

"It's nearly noon, Sasuke. You can't spend the entire day in bed."

"How the hell is noon the  _entire_  day?"

"Language!"

"Tch."

Sasuke dragged his body out of bed and over to his dresser to grab his clothes for the day. Damn his brother for waking him up so early!

"What are your plans for the day, Nii-san?" He asked as he sorted through his messy top drawer to find a clean pair of boxers.

"Konan and I were planning on spending the day together."

Sasuke froze for a moment. God, he hated that girl. Just the mention of her name made him so angry he could practically  _taste_  it.

"What a surprise," he muttered as he returned to shuffling through his drawers. They'd been together for roughly three years by now, but they  _still_  spent nearly every waking moment together.

"I still don't understand why you hate her so much, Otouto. She's been nothing but nice to you."

"It's not  _my_  fault I think she's secretly a bitch."

"Sasuke, for the love of God, watch your language!" Itachi exclaimed. He could hardly believe the words his little brother said nowadays.

"Whatever."  _Damn prude._

Sasuke finished grabbing the rest of his clothes and stomped across his room, careful to throw a decent glare at Itachi before he left.

Needless to say, he changed quite a bit in the past three years.

That small, well-behaved and adorable little boy had grown up into a broody and rebellious pre-teen. He wasn't nearly as short and his voice had begun to deepen a bit and he definitely was a lot less naïve than he used to be, but one thing still remained the same...

He was madly in love with his big brother.

He'd finally been able to find a word other than 'crush' to address his feelings for Itachi. The younger raven knew he was completely and utterly smitten with his big brother and if anything it'd only gotten worse in the past few years. His feelings of jealousy (yes, he'd finally been able to put a proper name to that painful and bitter emotion) had intensified drastically over the years as well. He  _hated_  Konan for stealing Itachi away from him!

Ever since the two started dating, Itachi spent less and less time with his little brother and more and more time with that stupid girl. She was over more often as well, which meant that little Sasuke had a front-row seat to their adorable coupley-ness. He could hardly remember just how many nights he cried himself to sleep because of an emotion he had yet to name.

But, eventually, he found a name for it and it continued to consume his life.

Why couldn't Itachi hug  _him_  like that; kiss  _him_ like that; love  _him_ like that? It just wasn't fair!

"Sasuke."

He paused halfway out his door and turned around to face his big brother. Itachi was smiling softly at him and it caused a terrible blush to break out across the younger raven's face.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Itachi said while he crossed the distance between them and pulled the younger into a tight hug.

Sasuke hated it when his big brother did that! Well, he didn't  _hate_  it- he loved it, to be quite honest- but he hated the effect it had on him. At that moment, he wouldn't have been surprised if Itachi could hear his young heart trying to hammer its way out of his chest.

"I love you too," he mumbled with a small smile.

Why did his big brother do this to him?

* * *

"Hi, Sasuke-kun. How are you today?"

"Just fantastic," he hissed.

The blue-haired girl was hardly surprised at the cold response she received. Sasuke made it quite clear years ago that he didn't- and likely, never would- like her. She got over it. It was still better than those couple months when he tried to be nice to her. Now those had been  _awkward._

She smiled at Sasuke and sat down on the couch next to him.

"What are your plans for today?" She asked.

"None of your business."

Konan sighed, and shook her head sadly. "You still hate me, huh?"

"Hn, at least you aren't stupid."

"I apologize for my little brother's behavior," Itachi sighed as he walked into the living room. He only managed to hear the end of that seemingly lovely conversation, but that was enough to clue him in. "Would it kill you to be polite once in awhile, Sasuke?"

Sasuke pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

 _Well, some things never truly change, now do they?_  Itachi chuckled and sauntered over to his  _sometimes_  adorable (but mostly bratty) little brother.

"Be good today, Otouto," Itachi said as he flicked the young boy on the forehead.

"Ugh!" Sasuke cried, clutching at his injury. His brother always did that!

Konan giggled to herself, earning her a glare from the younger raven. No matter how scary Sasuke tried to seem, he was still childish and cute.

"Are you having Naruto over today?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke shrugged in response and dropped his hands from his forehead.

"I guess so."

"Just make sure you keep him away from the stove. We really don't need a repeat of the last time he was over here."

"No promises, " Sasuke smirked.

Itachi chuckled to himself and leant in to give his little brother a peck on the forehead.

 _Cue full-body blush._ The smaller raven thought miserably as all the blood in his body rushed to his face. Lucky for Sasuke, Itachi was far too focused on Konan to notice the state of his little brother.

But Konan definitely noticed.

* * *

"Teme, I'm hungry. Can I  _please_  make some ramen?"

"No."

"Pleaaase?"

"No."

"Please, please, please, please, please?"

"…No."

Naruto sighed dramatically and fell forward on Sasuke's bed, clutching at his stomach as he did so.

"But I'm gonna die from starvation, 'ttebeyo," he whined.

Sasuke shrugged and flipped a page in his manga.

"Not my problem."

Naruto shot him a glare. "Remind me why I'm even friends with a bastard like you?"

"That's not my problem either."

"Ugh!" Naruto shouted as he moved himself into a sitting position. "And to think that Sakura's in love with you, 'ttebeyo! It's just not fair!"

"You can have her. She's annoying anyway."

"But  _she's_ in love with  _you_ , bastard. How do you get all the girls to fall all over you without even lifting a finger?"

"Hell if I know. They're all just annoying," Sasuke grumbled. If only he could have one _certain_  person falling all over him…

"It must really suck 'cause you're gay, huh?" Naruto asked with a grin. "I bet you'd rather have a bunch of hot guys falling all over you, 'ttebeyo."

Sasuke chuckled.

"Yeah, that'd definitely be an improvement."

He and Naruto were always extremely close and he told Naruto he was gay at the beginning of the school year when he was  _absolutely_  sure he couldn't stand girls and couldn't ever imagine being with one. The blonde hadn't really cared much, and simply proclaimed 'more girls for me'.

"So…can I  _please_  make some ramen now?"

"No."

"Dammit, Teme!"

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, can I talk to you?"

Sasuke shot a glare at the blunette, but soon began staring at his hands and allowed her to continue. She sighed and sat down on the couch next to her love's younger brother while fiddling with a piece of hair that fell loose from her bun.

She and Itachi spent a good portion of the day together and stopped back so he could shower and grab a new pair of clothes for dinner. They already stopped at her house for her to get ready. Naruto already went home about twenty minutes ago, too.

This was the perfect time for her to talk to Sasuke about what had been bothering her for the last couple of months.

"I've noticed something."

"And what's that?" Sasuke replied, being careful to sound detached.

She turned to face the smaller version of Itachi, and sighed deeply. How was she supposed to say this…?

"You blush every time Itachi's near you or shows any sort of affection. I find it odd."

Sasuke blanched.

_Shit shit shit shit._

"What are you implying?" He was extremely proud of himself for sounding so uninterested when he was completely panicking on the inside.

"I'm not necessarily  _implying_  anything…" She sighed. "But that, coupled with your complete hatred of me is enough to make one wonder."

"Wonder  _what_  exactly?" The smaller raven hissed while finally turning to glare at her. Screw sounding disinterested- she was pissing him off!

"I think you have feelings for Itachi."

"W-Well of course I do! He's my brother."

" _Romantic_  feelings for Itachi."

Sasuke was completely freaking out on the inside. How could she have figured it out?! Wasn't it  _normal_  for little brothers to hate their big brother's girlfriends? …No? Well fuck.

"How could you say something like that?! That's sick!" Sasuke exclaimed as he quickly sprung up from the couch. "There's something wrong with you for even  _thinking_  that I could feel anything like that towards my own  _brother,_ " he hissed as he nearly sprinted out of the room and made his way upstairs, leaving a rather startled Konan behind. He slammed the door of his room and locked it behind him.

 _How could she have known?!_  He thought as he sunk onto his bed, his face in his hands.

Sasuke was well aware of how 'wrong' and 'taboo' incest was seen as in society. He figured that out soon after his ninth birthday, but that still couldn't stop the feelings he had for his big brother. He went through a period of time where he was completely appalled with himself, but soon he just learned to accept it.

But that didn't stop him from hating himself some nights.

He felt tears slipping through the cracks of his fingers, but he couldn't remember when he started crying.

* * *

 _I guess I hit a nerve…_  Konan thought as Itachi finally emerged from upstairs.

"Hey, Konan, is Sasuke upset? I heard shouting from down here and then he ran upstairs and slammed his door," Itachi muttered while towel-drying his still-wet hair.

Konan shrugged.

"We were just talking, but I guess I must have said something to upset him. I should go apologize." The girl began to stand up from her place on the couch, but was stopped by Itachi's hand on her shoulder.

"Just leave him. He'll need time to cool off, anyway."

Konan nodded and settled back into the couch.

Well, she definitely had her answer.

* * *

Sasuke stared up at his ceiling. It had been about two hours since he locked himself up in his room and his mom had gotten home from work about an hour ago. She knocked on his door but he just told her to go away. Mikoto hadn't wanted to leave until she made sure her baby was alright, but she knew how difficult Sasuke could be when he was upset, and eventually let him be.

"What's wrong with me…?" He muttered as fresh tears began to sting his eyes.  _Why can't I just fall in love like a normal person?_

He was usually able to simply ignore these self-loathing thoughts and feelings, but sometimes he really just hated himself. He hated himself for loving his brother- his very obviously  _straight_  brother who would undoubtedly feel sick to his stomach if he knew the way his little brother felt about him.

Sasuke began scratching at his wrist.

It was something he did when he felt overwhelmed by his feelings. It helped him feel a little bit better and it cleared his mind. He never really broke the skin  _too_  badly, but he'd have angry red lines on his wrist for about a day or two afterwards which he was always careful to hide. He didn't want people worrying about him.

He was just sick, anyway.

* * *

"Kaa-san, I'm home," Itachi said as he slipped off his shoes.

"Oh, Itachi. How was your day?" Mikoto called from the living room.

"It was nice," he called back as he made his way into the living room, a warm smile gracing his handsome face. Mikoto returned Itachi's smile, but it soon faltered.

"Sasuke won't come out of his room," she muttered. "I'm really worried about him."

Itachi's smile fell as well, and he sighed.

"I'll go check on him," he said as he made his way over to the stairs. He sprinted up them quickly, and soon he was standing outside his little brother's bedroom door. He rapped on it a couple of times. He heard the sound of Sasuke's bed shifting and then a muffled 'leave me alone, Kaa-san'.

"It's me," Itachi said.

He heard more shifting on the other side of the door.

"Go away, Itachi-nii."

Itachi sighed and tried turning the doorknob.

_Why do we even allow him to have a lock on his door?_

The elder raven slipped his hand into his front pocket a pulled out a bobby-pin. He kept it there specifically for occasions like this, seeing as his little brother had a tendency to lock his door and shut out the rest of the world when he was pouting over something.

He got down onto his knees and bent the bobby-pin slightly out of shape then began picking the lock. It didn't take long for it to click. When it did, Itachi stood up, slid the now-deformed bobby-pin into his pocket, and opened the door. He shut it lightly behind him.

"Damn you," Sasuke muttered. Itachi smirked in response and made his way over to his little brother's bed.

"Are you going to talk to me about what's bothering you?"

"Tch. It's none of your business."

"Ah, so you're going to be difficult," Itachi chuckled. "Well, I know how to fix that."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"You wouldn't dare," he whispered.

"Try me."

And then Itachi was tickling Sasuke. Sasuke tried his best to squirm away from his big brother's hands, but he just couldn't escape.

"Nii-saaan! Stop it!" He laughed. Tears were beginning to pool in his eyes from laughing too hard and he couldn't catch his breath. Itachi merely redoubled his efforts and continued attacking Sasuke's tummy with his pale fingers. Suddenly, something caught Itachi's eye, and he froze.

Sasuke was still trying to get his breathing under control and his eyes were screwed shut. He opened them once he realized that he wasn't being tickled anymore and Itachi had fallen silent.

"Nii-san?"

Itachi was staring at Sasuke's left wrist.

"Shit!" Sasuke exclaimed as he tried to cover it with his right hand. He forgot about those. Itachi simply caught his hand and brought the younger's wrist up to his face.

"What are these?" He asked.

"They're nothing, Nii-san," Sasuke muttered while trying to pry his wrist back from Itachi's grasp. "Just a couple scratches, no big deal."

Itachi's eyes flickered up to meet Sasuke's own.

"I know what they are, Otouto. The real question is how they got there."

"I-I don't know!" Sasuke exclaimed while yanking his wrist away from Itachi. He rubbed at where Itachi grabbed him. His big brother sure had some grip. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

Itachi's emotionless expression cracked a little.

"Sasuke, it isn't nothing. If you're hurting yourself-"

"I said it's nothing!" The younger raven exclaimed. "Can you please just leave?" His voice cracked a little bit, and he was really hoping Itachi didn't notice.

The elder sighed and stood.

"We're going to talk about this later, Sasuke," he said as he turned around and walked out of the room. He closed the door softly behind him.

_Great._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	7. A Confession

"Itachi, I need to talk to you."

The raven glanced up from his book to look across the table at his pretty girlfriend.

"About what?" He asked. The blunette sighed and pushed a stray strand of navy blue hair behind her ear. She then slumped over a bit onto the school library's hard wooden table, and took a deep breath to steady herself.

"It's about Sasuke-kun."

"Oh? What about him?"

"Well…have you, uhm," she paused for a moment, seemingly trying to find the right words. "Have you noticed anything odd about the way he acts around you?"

_I guess I could feel him out, first…_

Itachi quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

Konan sighed again.  _Damn it._  Itachi really was oblivious if he didn't notice the way Sasuke practically  _worshiped_  him. She'd only known the boy for three years and she'd noticed it!

_Well, maybe it will be best if I don't say anything yet._

"Just…be careful. He's fragile, okay?" She finished with a gentle smile.  _Don't hurt him any more than you already have._

Konan honestly didn't know how to feel now that her suspicions were proved correct. Granted, it was  _incest_ , but she could tell that Sasuke was completely in love with Itachi. Itachi may be her boyfriend, but she wasn't exactly sure if she was  _in love_  with him- at least not how Sasuke obviously was. She felt as though perhaps she should at least tell Itachi, but then again, how would he react to news such as that? She doubted he would take it very well, especially considering the abuse he withstood as a child.

What's a girl to do?

"Fragile?" Itachi mused. "I suppose that's one way of putting it…" He was used to his girlfriend saying nonsensical things such as that. He supposed her real intent would make itself clear later.

Konan chuckled gently and got up out of her chair. They stayed after school together for a little while to work on homework and study, but it was getting late and she decided she wanted to leave.

"I'm going to head home, okay, Itachi?" She leant down to peck him lightly on the lips and then turned on her heal and left.

Itachi sighed.

_What did Konan mean by that?_

* * *

"Nii-san! Let me go!" The young boy exclaimed. His older brother currently had him captured from behind in an almost painfully tight hug. "Your love  _hurts,_ " He whined. Itachi chuckled, and loosened his grip on Sasuke a bit.

"I'm sorry, Otouto. I've just been worrying about you lately. Especially with those scratches on your wrist…"

Sasuke scowled, and tried to wiggle out of his Aniki's grip; and once again, he failed. The younger raven sighed in defeat, and relaxed into his older brother's embrace. Itachi smiled softly to himself and pulled Sasuke backwards with him until they plopped onto the couch. Itachi then leant his head on his Otouto's shoulder and tightened his arms around the smaller body once again.

"Now, little brother, I'd like for you to tell me what's been on your mind. You and I hardly talk anymore."

"Well, it's not  _my_  fault you're always with Konan," Sasuke pouted. The close proximity of his brother was making him feel a little bit light-headed and he knew his face was probably completely red, but he hoped his big brother wouldn't notice the rosy color of his cheeks. Itachi paused for a moment.

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke blinked a couple times, then turned his head so he could face his big brother. He internally 'eeped' a little at how close their lips were to touching but tried his best to ignore it.

"You're sorry?"

Itachi nodded and once again tightened his hold on Sasuke. "You're the most important person in my life, Sasuke. I'm sorry if I've ever made it seem otherwise."

The younger raven flushed an even deeper shade of red at his big brother's words, but then his face fell into a scowl.

"That isn't true."

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. "What makes you say that?"

Sasuke averted his eyes, then shifted a bit so he could snuggle his head into his Aniki's chest.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he mumbled.

Itachi frowned. "I really wish you would talk to me about it. You  _are_ the most important person in my life, Sasuke. I'd do anything for you."

"That's not true!" The younger raven suddenly exclaimed, whipping his head up so he could face Itachi. "That isn't true…" He repeated in a whisper as he shook his head sadly. Sasuke's eyes began watering, and although he tried his best to stop them, he couldn't. Itachi reached his hand out and wiped away the tears that had begun to spill out of Sasuke's huge onyx eyes.

"Sasuke…"  _What's gotten into him?_

Sasuke stared at his brother with wide, watery eyes. He needed to say it. He had to. He couldn't live like this anymore. He needed to-

"I love you."

There was a heavy silence. Itachi looked taken aback for a few moments, but then his face gradually relaxed.

"I love you too, Otouto."

Sasuke once again began shaking his head.

"No, not like that," He said as he stared into his Aniki's eyes, his lip trembling slightly. "I  _love_  you. More than a brother should." He barely whispered the last part, and he could feel tears slipping down his face.

Itachi's features flashed through stages of confusion, then realization, then disgust and- what was that-  _pity_?

"You don't know what you're saying."

Sasuke looked as though he'd been hit.

"H-How can you say that?!"

"You're  _eleven._ "

"Aniki," Sasuke sobbed. "I love you."

Itachi not-so-gently shoved Sasuke off of his lap and onto the couch cushion next to them.

"No, you don't," he hissed, his voice as cold as ice.

Sasuke stared at his brother with a completely hopeless look on his young face. Fresh tears began welling up in his wide, onyx eyes before once again sliding down his cheeks one by one until they produced a steady stream. The young raven's body was wracked with sobs and he felt as though his chest was being compressed and he couldn't breathe.

This hurt even more than the first time he saw Itachi and Konan kiss.

The small boy continued to cry and brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly to himself. He tried to hold in his sobs, but found it nearly impossible because of the sheer amount of  _pain_  welling up in his chest. Itachi's cold mask began to crack as he watched Sasuke's shoulders shake and heard his muffled sobs. He felt so  _guilty_  for reducing his baby brother to this state.

_I was too harsh on him…_

"Sasuke-"

"Can I ask for one thing?" Sasuke's hoarse voice cut in. He peered up at his Aniki through swollen red eyes, expecting another rejection. Itachi reached his hand out to smooth Sasuke's bangs out of his face and the small boy's grip on his knees loosened. The elder raven nodded and Sasuke paused to clear his throat.

"Will you kiss me, just once?" His voice was so quiet that Itachi had to strain to hear him.

Itachi's features softened.

"Sasuke, I-"

"Please. Just once, and I'll forget all about this. I-I'll move on. I…I promise."

How was Itachi supposed to say no when his little brother was already so defeated? The elder raven sighed dejectedly. Just one kiss, and he could forget this ever happened.

Just  _one_  kiss _._

He gently grasped the side of Sasuke's tear-streaked face, careful to wipe away as many tears as possible with the pad of his thumb. Itachi took a deep breath to steady himself, then leaned in.

Time froze.

Itachi knew, in the back of his mind, that he was only supposed to kiss Sasuke for a moment.

Then why couldn't he pull away?

The elder massaged Sasuke's lips gently, carefully, with his own. Sasuke was shocked at first (wasn't his brother supposed to have pulled away already?), but soon allowed his eyes to slip shut. He focused only on the feeling of Itachi's soft lips against his own, and in that moment…He was blissfully happy. He brought his small fingers to lace through his big brother's hair and they stayed like that. Nothing else mattered except each other.

But all good things must come to an end.

Itachi quickly pulled back as though he had been burned. His hand flew to cover his mouth and his breaths began coming in short bursts.

He was hyperventilating.

_What have I done?_

The elder rushed out of the living room and down the hallway to the bathroom. Once there, he leaned over the toilet and began to heave. It had been years since he threw up like this, but he was  _repulsed_ ,  _disgusted, horrified_ by his own actions. He continued to heave and heave until he was certain that he couldn't throw up any more even if he wanted to. He then slumped against the wall opposite the toilet and tried to calm down, his face in his hands.

He never even noticed the smaller body watching him through the crack in the door.

* * *

"So, how were your days today?" Mikoto asked while spooning some rice into their bowls. Itachi and Sasuke barely said a word since she returned home that evening and it was worrying her greatly.

Itachi shrugged and pushed around the food on his plate. He wasn't the least bit hungry. Sasuke shrugged as well, but began eating; although, he ate slowly and seemed extremely distracted. Mikoto sunk down into her seat next to her two sons and began eating as well. She shot a glance at each of her boys.

Itachi looked so _empty_  and  _lifeless_ …she hadn't seen him look that way since-

_No._

She shook her head lightly. She didn't want to remember back then. All it did was cause her to feel an immeasurable amount of guilt. She turned her gaze to Sasuke and noticed that he seemed upset as well. Though he didn't always outwardly show when something was troubling him (aside from running up and locking himself in his room), she could still read her youngest son pretty well.

Just what had gotten into them?

* * *

That night, Sasuke lay alone in his room. His mind kept replaying the events of earlier that day and he found himself on the verge of tears more than once. He felt completely empty now that every shred of hope- however far-fetched it might have been- of him and his Aniki being together was destroyed.

The younger raven didn't feel like doing anything anymore. What was the point? His big brother would never love him. Hell, he probably  _hated_  him now.

This thought made Sasuke absentmindedly begin scratching at his wrist. He gradually increased the pressure of his nails against the soft skin until he had to grit his teeth because of the pain. That didn't make him stop, though. He continued scratching until he could feel blood pool at the wound then run down his arm. Eventually, he made himself yank his fingers away from his wounded wrist.

How was he supposed to hide  _that,_  anyway?

He brought his wrist up to his face, and gazed at it. He never did anything this bad before. It was still bleeding a little bit and though it wasn't necessarily  _deep_ , it was still deeper than he usually scratched himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and gently lowered his arm.

He didn't want to look at it.

* * *

"Itachi-kun, how have you been doing lately?" The silver-haired man asked. Mikoto had called in the next day and said she was worried about her son, and asked for an emergency meeting since it was only Friday. Even after only being in Itachi's presence for a couple of minutes, Kakashi could already tell his young patient was a good bit more tense than usual. Itachi's gaze flickered up to meet his, and Kakashi had to stifle a gasp.

He hadn't seen Itachi look this  _dead_ since he'd first became his therapist.

"Itachi-kun," the man began in a slightly strained voice, his grip on the arms of his chair tightening considerably. "What's wrong?" The raven simply shook his head lightly with a very small, very sad smile gracing his features.

"I'm sick," came the simple reply. "Very, very sick."

Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed and he leant back in his chair.

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I'm just like him."

"Like who, Itachi-kun?"

Itachi's dark eyes flitted up to meet his therapist's and Kakashi nearly winced at the glare he was receiving.

"I'm just like that man. The man who ruined me...the man who fucked me up." Itachi laughed without any trace of humor. "I kissed my brother- and that's not even the worst part." Itachi leaned forward in his chair with a small, almost creepy smile on his face. "I  _enjoyed_  it."

Kakashi's eyes grew wide. "You forced yourself on him?!"

Itachi scoffed and shook his head.

"No,of course not. He asked me to. It turns out he's been harboring more-than-brotherly feelings for me for some time now."

The raven leaned back in his chair, and chuckled once more.

"Aren't we just a lovely family?"


	8. Reasons

They sat in silence after that. Kakashi was trying to process everything Itachi just told him, and Itachi, well…he was just trying to get his breathing under control. The young raven gripped at the armrests of his chair until his knuckles turned white, and his brows were furrowed and his eyes tightly squeezed shut as he tried his hardest to focus on  _not_  hyperventilating. Eventually, Kakashi found his voice again.

"You're sexually attracted to your younger brother?"

Itachi's eyes flew open and he once again glared at Kakashi.

"I don't know," He hissed. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

Kakashi averted his eyes from Itachi's cold black ones- it was almost as though he was frozen in place if he stared into them for too long when the teen was angry.

"Well, you said you kissed him and enjoyed it."

Itachi scoffed and relaxed his grip on the arms of the chair.

"That was a onetime thing. I won't allow myself to be attracted to him. I won't put him through that."

Kakashi sighed, and rested his masked cheek in his hand. "Well, it sounds to me as though you're fighting an internal battle here. How long have you had feelings for Sasuke?"

Itachi fell completely silent. He seemed to be searching for the correct answer.

"I didn't even think of it as a possibility before yesterday," he finally replied.

"But it  _is_  a possibility."

Itachi nodded slightly and his face fell. He stared at the ground for fear of Kakashi seeing the tears brimming in his eyes.

"I'm just like him," he whispered.

"No, you're not. You'll never be like that man," Kakashi said. "You're nothing like him, Itachi-kun."

Itachi turned his glare back on the therapist.

"We're exactly the same."

"That's a lie. Stop telling yourself that."

Itachi could no longer stop the tears from sliding down his cheeks.

"I don't want to hurt him," he choked out.

"Well, from what you've told me, I can infer that you're most likely hurting him by just outright rejecting him without an explanation. I'm not saying I condone incest, but as your therapist, it's my job to help you with your problems. I can't even legally tell anyone about this because neither of you are in danger." Kakashi sighed.

"But I'm a danger to him."

Kakashi groaned. Geez, this boy really could get aggravating sometimes.

"No, you're not. Just talk to Sasuke. Maybe if you explain your reasons- and I mean  _all_  of them- then he might back off."

"Are you suggesting I tell him that our father is a convicted rapist?"

"Well, were you planning on keeping it a secret forever?"

Itachi fell silent.

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"Sasuke, I need to talk to you."

The boy peered up from his schoolbook to shoot an incredulous look at Itachi. Was his big brother actually  _talking_  to him? He shifted over on his bed to make room for Itachi to sit down.

"Yeah, Nii-san?" He said with hope evident in his voice.  _Maybe Itachi doesn't hate me after all…_

The elder raven sunk down onto the bed next to his younger brother and motioned for the smaller boy to come sit on his lap. Sasuke beamed at him and then shut his book. He crawled over to his Aniki and plopped down on his lap, his back against Itachi's front. The elder looped his arms around Sasuke's waist and rested his head on the boy's shoulder as he did so many times before.

"I'm here to talk to you about Tou-san," Itachi said.

"Huh?" Sasuke was obviously confused.  _Why's he bringing this up?_

"Well, you remember how I told you that he loved someone who he shouldn't have loved and it was hurting those around him so he had to leave?"

The smaller raven nodded, and waited for Itachi to continue.

"Well…"  _Breathe, Itachi, breathe._ "H-he…"

"Are you okay, Aniki?" Sasuke asked. He could feel Itachi's chest rising and falling faster than it had a few moments before and it worried him. Itachi nodded.

_Just tell him._

"That person was me."

Sasuke was silent. What exactly did his big brother mean?

"I don't understand."

_Of course he doesn't._

Itachi tried to muster up all of his courage- he needed to tell him already! He tightened his hold around Sasuke until he was positive he must have been suffocating the small boy, but Sasuke didn't complain.

"Tou-san raped me." He barely whispered it, but his mouth was right next to Sasuke's ear. The smaller boy heard him loud and clear.

Sasuke froze completely in Itachi's lap. No. That couldn't be true. Their father would never do something like that. He was a good man! He would never…

"T-That can't be true," he choked out, his voice cracking a bit.  _Father would never have…never have-_

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"N-No, but-"

"Why would I lie to you about something like this?" Itachi's voice was slightly angrier than he intended, but this conversation wasn't exactly pleasant.

"But-but that can't be true!" Sasuke wiggled out of their embrace and spun around in Itachi's lap until he was facing the elder. "There's no way! Tou-san would never have…" The young boy trailed off once he saw the look in Itachi's eyes. No, his brother wasn't lying.

"Why?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why would father do something like that?"

Then, Itachi laughed.

" _Why,_ little brother? You honestly think I know  _why?"_ He hissed.

Sasuke visibly shrunk back. He hated it when Itachi was angry with him.

"I guess he just liked helpless little boys," Itachi began. "Or maybe it was the power he had over me. I never really stopped to think about the  _why,_  I was too busy focusing on the fact that the man I was supposed to trust most in my life was  _raping_  me since the time I was a child."

Sasuke was in shock. How long had it gone on without him knowing anything? How could their  _father_ , of all people, have done that? How could Itachi have managed living with that? How could Itachi…

Sasuke hugged his big brother as tightly as he could. Itachi froze, and at first didn't reciprocate the hug, but eventually his shoulders began to sag and he looped his arms around the smaller frame. He then hugged his baby brother as though his life depended on it.

"I'm so sorry," Sasuke whispered. "I'm so, so sorry, Nii-san." The smaller boy then began to lightly cry into Itachi's shoulder. He felt so, so much for his older brother. He couldn't imagine ever having to carry something that terrible around with him, something so horrible and wrong and unfair.

Itachi's face contorted with pain and he hugged Sasuke even closer to himself. He just needed his little brother to be happy right now- that's all he needed. Sasuke had been kept safe. Whatever Itachi had had to go through to keep his baby brother safe and happy was a small price to pay.

But his little brother  _wasn't_  happy.

"Sasuke…" Itachi whispered. The small boy looked up at him with his tear-streaked face and red, puffy eyes, and it broke Itachi's heart. "Don't cry for me. I'm fine, Otouto," he said with a small, sad smile.

Truth be told, he was the farthest thing from fine, but it wasn't like pretending was anything new for him. He just needed Sasuke to be  _happy._

"Do you understand now…about why it would never work out between us?" For some reason, saying those words hurt Itachi more than anything ever had before in his life- but no, he couldn't think about Sasuke that way. He wouldn't allow himself to.

Sasuke nodded sadly. He understood perfectly now. How could his older brother ever love him after going through something as traumatic as that? It was hopeless.

"I understand, Aniki," Sasuke said with his best smile. Itachi smiled in return, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Why did this hurt so  _much_?

* * *

"Mom, can I sleep over at Naruto's tonight?"

The lady raven looked up from the pot she was stirring to look at her son.

"Did you finish your homework?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Only  _his_  mother would make her sons finish their  _weekend_  homework on a Friday.

"Yes, Kaa-san," he lied.

She smiled and nodded. "Then go ahead."

Sasuke grinned and ran up to his mother to give her a quick hug before sprinting back upstairs to his room to pack his things. He already asked Naruto about it at school today, so he was all set.

Once the smaller raven was back in his room, he allowed his cheerful face to fall.

He was completely heartbroken. Itachi, the love of his life, his older brother, would never be his. That thought caused a sharp pain to shoot through Sasuke's chest, but he did his best to will it away. He hoped that spending time at Naruto's would help him forget about everything for a little while.

He emptied his backpack of all schoolbooks and quickly began shoving clean clothes into it. He then made his way to the bathroom and packed away his toothbrush and anything else he might need to get ready in the morning. He stopped by Itachi's room on the way to the stairs. He pushed the door open slightly, and saw that Itachi was reclined on his bed with a book in his hand.

"Itachi-nii?"

"Hm?" The elder glanced up from his book to look at Sasuke.

"I'm going to Naruto's tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you."

_So much._

"Love you too, baby brother."

_More than I should._

And with that, Sasuke left.

* * *

"God, you're even more emo than usual, 'ttebeyo."

"Shut up."

Sasuke was currently pouting whilst sitting on Naruto's hideously orange bed. The blonde had asked Sasuke if he wanted to play video games with him, but the raven had  _politely_  declined that offer and instead chose to sit on his bed and sulk. Naruto hadn't the slightest idea of what the Teme was sulking  _about_ , but whatever it was sure seemed to be bringing him down. The blonde paused his game and turned to face Sasuke.

"Okay, tell me what's wrong."

Sasuke shot him a glare, but the blonde wasn't the least bit fazed.

"C'mon, Teme- you're gonna have to do better than that!" He said with a cheeky grin. Sasuke shook his head with a small smile on his handsome face.

"It's nothing, Dobe."

"I call bullshit."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, that sucks for you, 'cause you're gonna talk about it."

Sasuke groaned. But then again, would it help to tell Naruto? …No way. The Dobe might be understanding when it came to most things (like Sasuke's sexual orientation), but adding incest into the mix?

"I  _really_  don't want to talk about it."

Naruto scowled and inched closer to the raven.

"Tell me," he demanded.

Sasuke sighed hugely, but gave in.  _What harm could it do?_

"Fine, but you're going to think it's weird."

Naruto just shrugged, and leaned his cheeks on his hands. "Try me."

_Where do I start?_

"Well, you know how I'm gay, right?"

"I think my dog knows you're gay."

Sasuke glared at him, but soon continued.

"Well, it's…kind of a boy problem."

"Awhhh," Naruto gushed. "Did the Teme get a boyfriend?!"

"Tch, no," Sasuke smirked at the blonde. "But…well…it's  _really_  complicated."

"Just tell me, dattebeyo!"

"I like Itachi."

For once in his life, Naruto was completely silent.

"You…" Naruto began while slowly drawing out his words. "Like, like?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Dobe. I have a crush on my big brother. Weird enough for you?"

Naruto just shrugged and was soon back to his hyperactive self. "Oh, that's it? You were really starting to worry me for awhile, 'ttebeyo."

"Wait, wait, wait," Sasuke began, holding his hands up for emphasis. "You don't think that's weird?"

"Eh, not really," Naruto shrugged. "You can't help who you like."

Sasuke shook his head slowly with a genuine (albeit small) smile gracing his features.

"Only you, Naruto."

Naruto grinned, and reached his hands behind his head in his trademark pose.

"But that still doesn't explain why you're more emo than normal today. I mean, I got used to your normal angsty my-life-is-a-big-black-hole-and-I-hate-everything attitude, but this one is even worse."

Sasuke returned to pouting.

"We can't be together."

Naruto's grin fell, and his hands returned to their place on his lap. "Why not?"

"It's  _incest_ , Dobe."

"So?"

"Naruto!"

"Okay, okay. But why can't you two be together for real?"

Sasuke sighed and held his face in his hands.

"I  _really_  can't tell you the whole reason. Let's just say that I'm pretty sure he has  _some_  feelings for me, but because of some really bad stuff that happened in the past, it would never work out between us."

Naruto nodded.

"I'm sorry, Teme," he said.

Sasuke simply shrugged, and looked up at the Dobe.

"Wanna play some video games?"

* * *

Itachi lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling with one arm propped behind his head. He missed Sasuke and he was honestly sad that his little brother was gone for the night.

Today had been good for both of them, Itachi concluded. The truth was out (for the most part), and Sasuke understood why he and Itachi could never have a relationship that was more than brotherly.

But why did he feel so empty?

He never even thought of Sasuke that way before- at least not consciously. He supposed that somewhere, in the deepest, darkest depths of his mind, he may have harbored some less than innocent feelings for Sasuke that the kiss simply brought to light. Itachi brought his free hand up to his lips and lightly brushed over them. He could clearly remember the feeling of Sasuke's soft lips against his own and it caused a pang of pure  _longing_  to shoot through him.

 _Where did these feelings come from?_  He wondered. He was slightly sick to his stomach because of the simple fact that he could want his brother in such a sinful way, but knowing that Sasuke wanted him just as much- if not more- lessened his guilt a little a bit.

But  _still_.

He and his brother could never be together like that. It would be unnatural, unholy, immoral, and  _wrong._  He didn't want Sasuke to have to grow up with a secret as terrible as being your sibling's lover. It wouldn't be fair to him.

Itachi sighed and sat up in bed. He decided he may as well call Konan and see if she was busy tonight. He missed her, though he couldn't help but feel a little guilty about keeping his and Sasuke's kiss (and feelings) a secret, but what she didn't know wouldn't kill her.

He stood up, and made his way over to his dresser to retrieve his cell phone. He dialed Konan. She answered on the fourth ring, and they discussed plans for the night.

If only he could go out on a date with Sasuke like this…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	9. Realization

"You seem distracted."

Itachi glanced up from the plate of food he'd been poking at to look at Konan. She seemed extremely worried if one were to judge by the crease between her eyebrows, the tone of her voice, or the way she was leaning forward in her chair.

"I'm sorry," he said as he shrugged and continued to push around the unappetizing-looking food on his plate. "I've just got a lot of things on my mind."

Konan nodded, and took a small bite of her own food.

"Want to talk about it?"

Itachi shrugged again. "I don't think it's anything that would interest you."

Konan pouted a little, although she still managed to look terribly beautiful while doing so.

"I wish you'd talk to me about the things that are upsetting you, Itachi. I'm your girlfriend. That's what I'm here for."

The raven cracked a weak smile in response.

"You wouldn't understand, Konan. I'm sorry."

The blunette furrowed her thin eyebrows and huffed a little bit.

_Why is he being so difficult? Wait…could it be?_

_"_ Is it about Sasuke?"

Itachi froze for the briefest of seconds, but Konan noticed it. She smirked slightly to herself.

_So it is, is it?_

"What happened between you two?"

"Nothing," Itachi responded quickly- too quickly, in Konan's opinion.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not," Itachi replied while staring intently at his plate.

"Itachi, I know you better than you know yourself," She said. "I can tell when you're lying. You won't look me in the eye."

Itachi tried his best to look her in the eye and tell her that there was no way that was true, but found he couldn't.

"Damn." He muttered in defeat, still staring at his plate. Konan giggled in response, but soon returned to being serious.

"Seriously, though. What happened between you two?"

Itachi sighed, and put down his chopsticks. "It's rather personal."

Konan pouted again.

_How rude._

"Too personal for your girlfriend of three years to know about?"

Itachi flinched slightly. Well, when she put it that way, he really felt like a bit of a dick.

"It's just…rather odd. It's nothing against you, it's just that I feel it would be best for Sasuke and me if it remained private."

The pieces clicked into place in Konan's head, and her eyes began to widen. There was only one thing in the world that she could imagine Itachi would have trouble telling her about.

_No way! Did he confess?_

"Itachi," she began. "I…I think I may already know of what you're referring to."

Itachi's eyes widened and he locked gazes with his girlfriend.

_How on Earth could she know about this?_

Konan bit at her lip and averted her eyes. Should she tell him? What if he got angry? This was way too complicated for her liking.

"I'm more perceptive than most," she said while staring down at her hands in her lap. "I notice things a lot of people would simply overlook or deem as unimportant."

Itachi quirked an eyebrow and hoped that her keen eyes (which thankfully weren't pointed towards him) wouldn't notice the fact that he broke out into a cold sweat.

"What are you getting at?"

Konan took a deep breath. "I…I know that Sasuke has romantic feelings for you. It wasn't really anything he said- I mean, in a way it was- but…" She trailed off, and stole a look at Itachi. He was completely frozen in place, and his mouth was hanging slightly open. She gulped. "I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about…"

"There's nothing going on between us," Itachi said. "It wouldn't be right. I told him that, so there's nothing for you to worry about. I'd never cheat on you."

Konan's eyes widened. "That wasn't exactly what I was worried about…" She took another deep breath, and soon continued. "He's in love with you, Itachi. I'm sure he's felt that way about you since he was a little kid. Remember the first time I came over and how he automatically disliked me?"

Itachi's eyes grew unfocused as he tried his best to recall that old memory, but soon he nodded.

"I remember. Then he locked himself up in his room for the rest of the night, and he was…crying." Itachi's eyes widened in realization. He figured Sasuke must have felt that way about him for awhile, but  _that_ long?

Konan nodded. "I knew there was a reason he disliked me, but I could never put my finger on it- at least, not until I started paying more attention to the way he acts around you."

Itachi tilted his head slightly. "How exactly does he act?" He asked.

Konan couldn't resist rolling her eyes. How oblivious could he possibly get?

"Well, he acts like a love-sick puppy for one. He blushes constantly…" She held up her fingers to begin counting off. "He begins stuttering, he smiles more, he clings to you, he hangs on to every word you say…"

Itachi held up his hand as a signal for her to stop. He heard enough.

"I'm an idiot," he whispered as he shook his head with a sad smile. "A complete and utter idiot."

Konan half-heartedly smiled in return.

"You're not an idiot. You just don't see all the things I do." Her smile turned bitter. Although she was glad that Sasuke's feelings were finally realized, she couldn't help but feel jealous considering Itachi was  _her_  boyfriend. "What are you going to do?" She asked quietly. She wasn't positive of whether or not she really wanted to hear the answer, but it was a question that needed to be asked.

"I already told you…nothing's going on between us. He's my little brother and that's how it's going to stay."

Konan didn't miss the way his face scrunched up as though he was in pain, even though it couldn't have been there longer than a second.

 _So, he has feelings for Sasuke as well?_ She thought sadly. Well, it wasn't like she didn't see this coming. Itachi loved his brother more than anything, after all.

"How come?" She asked. She sounded more hopeful than she meant to, but she doubted Itachi noticed it.

Itachi's eyes widened and he shot her an incredulous look.

"It's  _incest_ , Konan. It's immoral and wrong. Plus, I'd be taking advantage of him…he's just a kid. I'd feel like…like my father."

Konan nodded. She hadn't thought of that, but it did make sense.

"I'm sorry."

Itachi shrugged, and once again picked up his chopsticks. "I'm just hoping he'll be able to get over it and move on."

_I know I won't be able to._

* * *

"Dobe, you really suck at this game, you know that?"

"Can it, Teme! It's not my fault I'm not good at these stupid ninja games," Naruto pouted.

Sasuke scoffed, but leaned forward to shut off Naruto's game system and put his controller back on the shelf. "We should probably go to sleep. It's almost two in the morning," he said. Naruto groaned in response, but soon put away his controller as well.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled as he crawled into bed. Sasuke soon crawled in along with him.

"Night, Dobe."

"Night, Teme."

And soon both boys were fast asleep.

* * *

"I'm home!" Sasuke called as he shut the door behind him. It was Saturday morning, which meant that he and Itachi would spend the day together. That thought would usually make the young raven smile, but now it only made him grimace. Would things be awkward between them if they were alone together for an extended period of time?

"Welcome home, Sasuke," Itachi called from the living room. Sasuke soon made his way in there as well and tried his best to smile at his big brother. "How was Naruto's?"

Sasuke shrugged and dropped his backpack on the ground then sat on the couch next to Itachi.

"Same old, same old," he muttered under his breath. He briefly considered telling Itachi that he told Naruto about his feelings for him, but soon decided against it. He really didn't want Itachi getting mad at him again.

"Did you do anything last night?" Sasuke asked, obviously trying to strike up some sort of conversation.

Itachi nodded.

"Konan and I went out to dinner."

Now, ever since Konan had mentioned the things Sasuke apparently did around him, Itachi had decided to pay more attention to his Otouto's actions. So, this time, he didn't miss the slight pout or the way Sasuke froze when he mentioned the name of his girlfriend.

"How did it go?" Sasuke mumbled.

Itachi sighed. "It was fine, I suppose. She could tell that something was bothering me."

Sasuke smirked slightly.

"Yeah, so could Naruto."

Both brothers sat in silence for a few moments.

 _Where are we supposed to go from here?_  Itachi wondered to himself with a sigh. He knew it was going to be difficult living together and having to be around each other all the time now that their feelings were out in the open. Hell, Itachi hadn't even known that he  _had_  feelings like that for Sasuke until a couple of days ago. It's amazing how quickly things can change.

"So…what would you like to do today, Otouto?"

Sasuke simply shrugged in response.

"Can we just stay in today? I don't really feel like going anywhere."

Itachi nodded. "That's fine. Would you like to watch a movie or something?"

Sasuke shrugged and got up to sort through the DVDs they had in their collection near the television. He wasn't aware of the fact that at that exact moment, the sleeve of his dark blue hoodie slipped up just enough to allow Itachi a decent glimpse at his left wrist.

"Ow!" He exclaimed as his arm was roughly grabbed. Itachi shoved his sleeve the rest of the way up and regarded his Otouto's injured wrist with a mixture of concern and horror.

"Sasuke…"

He stared at the small gashes in his wrist. They were definitely worse than the faint red lines he'd seen the other day. Just how  _hard_  did Sasuke scratch himself? He tried his best to pry his wrist away from Itachi's grasp, but just like before, he found that he was unable to. Damn his brother's grip.

"It's not a big deal, okay, Itachi-nii? Just don't worry about it."

Itachi's eyes flickered up to meet Sasuke's, and he was overcome by guilt.

"Did you do these…because of me?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He could tell they were a couple of days old, but they still had awhile to go before they would be completely healed. They looked  _painful_.

Sasuke shrugged and averted his eyes.

"I do them for a lot of reasons. It's no big deal. I've been doing it for a while, anyway…"

"What?!"

 _Shit._ Sasuke internally cursed.

"Sasuke…Otouto, when did you start hurting yourself?"

Sasuke shrugged again and allowed himself to be dragged back down onto the couch. He leaned his head on his big brother's shoulder and sighed.

"Since I around the time I turned ten…I think. I don't really remember."

"Why did you start?"

Sasuke groaned. He didn't want to tell his big brother that he started out of self-hatred for having feelings for his Aniki and to help overcome the sadness that came from knowing they could never be together. How would Itachi take that?

"I was just sad about some things and I heard about it at school from some of the older kids. They said it helped. It's really not a big deal, Aniki."

Itachi wrapped his arm around Sasuke, and held the small boy against his side.

"What things were you sad about, Otouto?" Itachi had a feeling he already knew the answer, but he still felt as though he needed to ask.

"Nothing important," Sasuke grumbled. Why couldn't his Nii-san just leave it alone already?

"It's my fault, isn't it?"

"N-No, it's no-"

"Don't lie to me, Sasuke."

Sasuke's eyes fell downcast and he shrugged yet again.

"It's not entirely your fault."

Itachi hugged Sasuke closer to himself. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke. I didn't have any idea how much pain you were in. I feel terrible." .

Sasuke shook his head. "Don't feel bad. I'm fine," he said with his most convincing smile. But Itachi wasn't convinced. He caused his little brother to hurt himself. How was he supposed to live with that?

"I'm a terrible big brother," he sighed.

"No you're not, Nii-san. You're the best big brother I could hope for," Sasuke said. His Aniki  _was_  the best brother. He was kind, and gentle, and beautiful, and amazing, and perfect…

Sasuke buried his head in Itachi's shoulder. He really didn't want his big brother to blame himself for his self-harm. It wasn't like Itachi meant to flaunt Konan in front of him and he had nothing to do with Sasuke developing feelings for him other than being, well, everything Sasuke could ever hope for in a man. But really, whose fault was that?

"Let me clean them, Sasuke. I don't want them to get infected."

Sasuke nodded into his big brother's shoulder and Itachi soon got up. The younger raven trailed after him and soon they were in the downstairs bathroom. Itachi sorted through the medicine cabinet until he found some rubbing alcohol and cotton balls and Sasuke sat on the toilet seat. The elder raven rolled Sasuke's sleeve up to his elbow and began gently dabbing a rubbing-alcohol soaked cotton ball on his wounds.

"Ow!" He hissed through clenched teeth.

"Sorry, Sasuke," Itachi said. He dabbed carefully until he was sure the wounds were clean enough, then he got up to throw away the used cotton balls and put away the rubbing alcohol. Sasuke rolled his sleeve back down and peered up at his older brother.

_That was really…nice of him._

"Thank you," he said with a slight blush.

Itachi noticed that his younger brother was blushing and it caused him to frown slightly. How had he been oblivious for so long? He sighed and patted Sasuke on the head.

"It's what big brothers are for, Sasuke," He muttered.

Sasuke beamed up at him, and got off his place on the toilet seat.

"So, want to go watch a movie now?" He asked. Itachi shrugged, and followed his baby brother out of the bathroom back to the living room. Once there, Itachi took a seat on the couch while Sasuke went to pick out a DVD. He soon decided on some random anime movie, and popped it into the DVD player.

What happened next is something Itachi definitely wasn't expecting. Sasuke took his hoodie off over his head, and it caused his shirt to bunch up as well. Itachi got a great view of Sasuke's bare upper body and it caused his over body to react in weird ways, though he was able to suppress it for the most part. The elder buried his face in his hands with a groan. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Sasuke without a shirt before…it was just, well,  _different_  now that he knew how Sasuke felt about him. It was like he was seeing him for the first time, and he had to admit that he liked what he saw. His baby brother really was beautiful.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and please leave a comment c:


	10. Getting Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of this chapter! ;-;

"Hey, Sasuke, would you mind unloading the dishwasher for me?"

The raven glanced up from his manga to pout at his mother.

"Isn't it Itachi's turn?" He whined. Mikoto turned her most bone-chilling glare towards him.

"Sasuke, get over here.  _Now._ "

The young raven flinched a little under the glare he was receiving.  _Damn_ , that woman could be scary. He quickly dog-eared the page he was on in his manga, shut the book, and placed it on the table before getting up and making his way to the kitchen. He sighed dejectedly as he rolled up the sleeves of his black hoodie in order to commence this soul-sucking chore.

Sasuke began with the top shelf of the dishwasher, and opened the cabinet that the cups belonged in. He grabbed a random glass and reached up to put it in its designated place. He was a little bit short for this task, seeing as the cup belonged at the very top of the cabinet, so he was forced to stand on his tippy-toes and stretch his arm the farthest it would go in order to set it down.

Mikoto happened to glance up from the sink and over at her son at the exact moment Sasuke's injured wrist was suspended in mid-air. Her eyes widened, and she quickly closed the short distance between the two of them.

"Sasuke," the lady raven began while grabbing for his wrist. "What...what are these?" Her voice was shaky. There was no way her baby could have done this to himself...right?

Sasuke gulped. He felt so stupid for exposing his wrist like that! He completely forgot they were still there since they stopped hurting and his normal scratches would be healed by now.

"It's nothing, Kaa-san," he said as he tried to pry his wrist away from his mother. What was it with his family and their iron grips?!

"Sasuke," Mikoto sighed. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she brought his wrist closer to her face. She could see a couple of faint white scars on his arm alongside the recent-looking wounds. Just how long had this been going on? "Baby, how long have you been hurting yourself?"

Sasuke finally yanked his wrist back with as much force as his small frame could muster.

"That's none of your business!" He snapped. Truth be told, he wasn't exactly sure why he was getting so angry with his mother, but nobody was supposed to know about this! It was bad enough Itachi had already found out- now his mother, too? "It's not a big deal! Just leave me alone!" He cried as he stomped his way out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

"Sasuke!" The lady raven shouted after him, but the boy was long gone.

Mikoto didn't know how to deal with this. Her son was self-harming? She didn't know much on the subject- she only heard about it from Kakashi when he mentioned that it was common in pre-teens and teenagers- but she knew that it could be a symptom of depression. But what could Sasuke possibly be depressed about? She slumped over the counter with her face in her hands.

 _God, I really am a fucking terrible mother._  She thought to herself miserably as she wiped away the tears she could feel welling up. She'd tried her best to always put her boys first and make sure they were happy, but what did that get her? One son who was sexually abused for years without her knowing and another who was sad enough to physically hurt himself.

_I really have failed as a mother._

* * *

Sasuke fell back on his bed with a huge sigh. He had no idea what his mother was going to do now that she knew about his self-harm, but he really hoped it wouldn't be anything too drastic. After all, it's not like he was really  _cutting_  himself, so it wasn't that serious, right? At least, that's what he told himself.

He'd actually tried cutting a couple of times, but they left scars behind and he didn't really like having those. It just made him remember how sad he was when those certain cuts were made and he'd rather not be reminded of that. So, he stuck to scratching himself. Those marks faded quickly so he wouldn't have constant reminders of unhappy times marring up the pale skin of his wrist. But of course he just  _had_  to be stupid and scratch himself to the point of leaving really noticeable marks last time! He groaned and draped an arm over his eyes.

Well, knowing his mother, she'd probably completely freak out.

* * *

"Itachi, open up!"

There was the sound of shuffling behind the door, and soon it was opened partially to allow Itachi to regard his visitor. His eyes widened at the sight he was met with and he swung the door open the rest of the way.

"Mother, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked as he moved aside to let her into his room. She trudged in and sat down on Itachi's bed. She wiped away at her eyes with the back of her hand and sighed deeply.

"Am I a terrible mother?" She whispered with a sad smile.

Itachi's eyebrows furrowed and he closed the door softly before joining his mother on his bed.

"Why are you asking me this, Kaa-san?"

Mikoto sighed.

"Well...I'm going to tell you because I don't really know what to do about this. I saw Sasuke's wrist today, and..." Her voice gave out, and fresh tears began falling down her cheeks before she had time to stop them. She soon wiped them away, and tried her best to smile at Itachi. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this," she whispered.

Itachi frowned. He couldn't bear to see his mother upset, and he knew exactly why she was upset, too.

"You saw Sasuke's scratches?"

Mikoto's eyebrows shot up, and she threw a questioning look towards Itachi. "You know about them?"

Itachi sighed and nodded his head. "Yes, I found out about them recently."

"And you didn't tell me?!" She exclaimed. Itachi winced.

_Great job, Itachi._

"I'm sorry mother, but I didn't know what to do. I have been checking his wrists daily ever since I found out, though."

Mikoto's face softened slightly.

"Well, I suppose that's good but...how long has this been going on for?"

"He told me he started around the time he turned ten."

" _Ten_?!"

Itachi nodded, and Mikoto's face contorted with sadness. Her baby had been doing it for an entire  _year_?

"What are you going to do about it?" Itachi asked. Mikoto shrugged.

"I suppose I could try to get him into therapy...maybe with someone who specializes in things like this?"

Itachi nodded. "I suppose that's our best bet."

Mikoto nodded in return, and soon fished her cellphone out of the front pocket of her jeans.

"I guess I'll see if Kakashi can recommend anyone..."

* * *

"Otouto, come out of your room."

"No!"

Itachi sighed.

"Sasuke, come out."

"No!"

"Sasuke..."

"I said no, asshole!"

Itachi could feel a vein pulsing in his temple. His brother really had no manners whatsoever.

"I'll just pick your lock again."

There was no response from the other side of the door. Itachi smirked to himself.

"Or I could convince mother to buy you a new doorknob  _without_  a lock."

There was shuffling coming from the other side of the door, then the sound of the door being unlocked. Itachi pushed it open and was greeted by the sight of his pouting Otouto.

"Bastard."

"Hush," Itachi said as he poked Sasuke's forehead. The younger raven yelped and clutched at his injury, then began glare-pouting at his older brother.  _He's so cute when he does that..._ Itachi's eyes widened for a moment in realization of what he just thought and he quickly shook his head to dispel such things. "Kaa-san and I want to talk to you."

Sasuke's hands dropped to his side, but his glare hardened. "I don't want to talk to either of you."

"Well, you're going to. Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way."

Sasuke seemed to be thinking through his options for a moment until his shoulders slumped forward in defeat. His older brother would always win.

"Fine," he muttered under his breath. Itachi smirked in victory and motioned for his little brother to follow him down the stairs. Once they arrived in the living room, the two boys sat down on the couch opposite the love-seat their mother was sitting on. She was biting at her thumbnail almost aggressively as her eyes shot between the two of them.

"So," Sasuke began with a disinterested look on his face. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Mikoto sighed and lowered her thumbnail away from her mouth.

"Well, your brother and I are both worried about you, and...we think it might be good for you to start therapy."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"No fucking way!" He shouted. He didn't need therapy! He was perfectly fine without it! "If it's the scratches you're worried about, then forget about them- it won't happen again!" He was on the verge of angry tears, but he refused to let them fall. He didn't want to talk to anyone about his problems. There was a reason they were  _his_.

"Sasuke," Mikoto began softly, choosing to ignore his cursing. "It's not just about that. I've been thinking that...that maybe all of us should be in therapy. It's been good for Itachi." She said, motioning towards her eldest. Itachi's eyes widened. Mikoto hadn't mentioned the part about considering getting herself into therapy to him and needless to say, he was quite surprised.

Sasuke scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I refuse."

"Sasuke, please," she pleaded. "It will be good for all of us."

"Then you can go! I'm perfectly fine!"

"Sasuke, you obviously aren't fine."

"If it's about the fucking scratches, I already said you could forget about them!" Sasuke nearly yelled. Mikoto flinched back and once again began biting at her nail.

"Otouto, calm down."

Sasuke was breathing heavily and his face was becoming red with anger and frustration. Itachi scooted closer to his baby brother and brought the smaller boy close to his chest. He began softly petting the boy's hair and soon Sasuke's breathing began slowing down.

"Will you please just go for a couple of sessions? For me?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. There was no fucking way his brother was using  _that_  to get him to go! He knew his little brother could never refuse him...

"Fine," he mumbled. Itachi's face softened, and a small smile graced his lips.

"Thank you, Sasuke."

The smaller raven just grumbled and buried his face in the front of Itachi's shirt. Mikoto mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Itachi, and he nodded in return.

Now, how would Sasuke react when he learned his first session was tomorrow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	11. Therapy

"I'm not going!"

"For the love of God, Otouto, let go!"

Sasuke clung onto the door-frame of the front door in a desperate attempt to  _not_  have to go to therapy. He looked quite ridiculous, actually. Itachi held on to his legs, which meant that Sasuke was suspended in the air. He's lucky he had such a good grip on the door-frame or he probably would have fallen due to Itachi's incessant tugging.

" _You_  let go, jerk!"

"Stop acting like a child!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"I'll drop you."

Sasuke's eyes widened.  _Shit._  In the position he was in, if Itachi were to  _actually_  let go of his legs, he'd fall. Sasuke gulped and did his best to throw an innocently pleading look back towards his older brother; although, it was rather difficult considering the angle his head was at.

"Hey, Aniki," he began with sugary sweetness dripping from his voice, "please let me down  _gently_?"

Itachi's eyebrow began to twitch. It was hard to resist Sasuke when he acted so...cute.

"Only if you promise to get in the car and go to therapy without any more complaints."

Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, but soon realized he was in no position to.

"Fine," he grumbled. Itachi smirked in victory, and gently set Sasuke's feet back on the ground. The younger raven dusted himself off quickly and stuck his tongue out at the elder. He turned on his heel and was about to make a mad dash back inside, but Itachi managed to catch him by the wrist before he had a chance to do so.

"Already breaking your promise?" Itachi began with a smirk. "How rude, Otouto." He flicked his baby brother on the forehead with his free hand and Sasuke pouted.

Itachi chuckled and dragged Sasuke towards the car their mother had been sitting in for the past ten minutes. She regarded the whole exchange with heavy amusement- her sons sure could be entertaining. Itachi opened the door to the backseat and pushed Sasuke inside, earning an undignified yelp from from the boy in the process.

"Jerk!"

"Hush," Itachi said while sitting down on the seat next to him and fastening his seat belt. He decided to sit in the back with Sasuke in order to make sure there were no more poorly thought out escape attempts, especially ones involving a moving vehicle. Mikoto laughed quietly and started the car before pulling out of the driveway.

"It's not so bad, Sasuke." Itachi said once they'd gotten on the road. Sasuke glared at him and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Liar."

Itachi chuckled, draped his arm around Sasuke's shoulders, and pulled the boy closer to himself. He tried to ignore the way his own heart seemed to start beating faster at the close contact, but couldn't ignore the terrible blush that had broken across Sasuke's face. Itachi sighed.

Both boys were actually supposed to be in school today since it was Tuesday, but Mikoto wanted Sasuke to start therapy as soon as possible. She let Itachi stay home too since she had to go to work soon after dropping Sasuke off. She figured they could walk home together, since she really didn't want her eleven-year-old wandering around by himself.

The rest of the 10-minute drive was silent, and soon they'd arrived at their destination.

"Have a good day, you two!" Mikoto said with a smile.

"You too, Kaa-san," Itachi replied. Sasuke simply stayed silent and allowed himself to be dragged out of the car and up the front steps of the office. He shot a wistful glance back towards his mother's car, but was saddened to find it already pulling out of the parking lot. He was stuck.

Soon, he found himself standing in the lobby. Itachi walked up to the front desk to sign in. "We have an appointment for 8:45," he said to the receptionist. She glanced up quickly then looked back at her magazine, but then her eyes shot back up again and she began to blush.

"N-Name please?" She stuttered while setting her magazine down and tucking a stray strand of brown hair behind her ear.

"Uchiha Sasuke. My little brother," Itachi said while jerking his head towards the boy who was barely visible over the top of the desk. Sasuke had to stand on his tippy-toes in order for the woman to be able to see him. She nodded and turned to her computer, but not before throwing one more flirtatious glance towards Itachi.

Sasuke's face darkened.

_Stupid, ugly girls flirting with my Itachi-nii..._

He clung to Itachi's arm as his own show of ownership. The elder simply raised an eyebrow at his behavior, but decided not to pay it much more attention.

The receptionist clicked a couple more keys on her computer before she leaned back with a smile.

"Ah! Here we go. Room 12, right down the hallway and to your right," the lady finally said. She peered up at Itachi through smoky, eyeliner-heavy eyes, and set her cheek on her hand. Sasuke had no idea how Itachi remained oblivious to her obvious flirting. The younger also thought she looked like a dumb, ugly raccoon, but didn't have time to tell her so because he was soon being lead down the hallway by his arm.

"I'll be in the lobby," Itachi said once they stood in front of the room. He turned to Sasuke and smiled. "You'll be fine." He leant in to peck his baby brother on the forehead and ruffle his hair. Sasuke started to blush and his heartbeat was erratic, but he tried his hardest to ignore it and simply nodded. He then pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Well, the room wasn't very scary. The walls were a soft grey and there was a white couch in the corner and a white chair across from it. There was a brown desk in the other corner and at it sat a kind-looking woman with long, dark hair. She glanced up from the papers she'd been scribbling on when she heard Sasuke's entrance.

"Hello," she said with a warm smile. "I'm Yuhi Kurenai."

Sasuke shot her a glare. She already seemed too nice.

The woman didn't seem disturbed by his coldness and stood up from her desk to walk over to Sasuke and shake his hand; or at least,  _try_  to shake his hand. The boy simply glared at it as though it might spontaneously combust if he focused on it for long enough. Kurenai sighed.

_One of these, huh?_

"You're Uchiha Sasuke, correct?"

Sasuke dragged his glare from her hand up to her eyes and was surprised to find they were a deep red color, but still refused to respond. Kurenai's happy face fell a little, but she motioned for him to come sit on the white couch. Thankfully, he followed her lead and plopped down on it. She sat across from him in the white cushioned chair.

"Would you care to explain to me why you're here?" She already knew why he was there, but it was common practice to hear it in a patient's own words. Sasuke resumed glaring at her and crossed his arms over his chest.

"None of your business."

Well, at least she got a verbal response.

"Sasuke-kun," she began, choosing to ignore his answer. "Your mother called because she's worried about you self-harming and possibly being depressed, correct?" Sasuke shrugged and stared at the ground. He really didn't want to talk about this! Kurenai sighed.

"Can you tell me what you're depressed about?"

Sasuke dragged his onyx orbs up to meet her crimson ones and once again resumed glaring. What was he supposed to say to that? Oh, wait- nothing. So he remained silent.

Kurenai sighed once again, and rested her head on her hand. "We're not going to get anywhere if I don't know what's wrong."

Sasuke just rolled his eyes. It wasn't like he  _wanted_  to be here, anyway.

"Well, if you're not going to answer, then what do you suppose we do for the remainder of the session?" She asked. She was really trying her very  _best_  to keep annoyance from slipping into her tone because she was a  _professional_ , but it was rather difficult.

_Patience, Kurenai._

Sasuke shrugged and stared at the ground again.

 _Well, fine,_  Kurenai thought to herself,  _if he wants to be difficult, then let him._ So she stood and made her way back over to her desk to catch up on more paperwork.

* * *

"How did it go?" Itachi asked whilst closing the magazine he'd been flipping through while he waited. Sasuke shrugged and closed the rest of the distance between them before plopping onto his big brother's lap. He was basically straddling him, and his face was buried in the crook of Itachi's neck, but he didn't care. Itachi, on the other hand, was beginning to feel some things he'd rather not feel.

"There are other chairs, you know," he said, his voice slightly strained. Sasuke shrugged again and buried his face deeper in the crook of the elder's neck. Itachi had to suppress a shiver once he felt his brother's warm breath ghosting over the sensitive skin there. He tried to gently push Sasuke off of him. "Get up, we should head home."

_Please get off of me please get off of me please get off of me._

Sasuke sighed hugely, which caused a big gust of air to fan out over Itachi's neck. The elder couldn't suppress a shiver that time, but Sasuke didn't seem to notice as he begrudgingly detached himself from Itachi. The elder internally sighed in relief as he stood up. Sasuke laced his fingers through Itachi's- which caused him to lift an eyebrow in surprise- as they walked out of the lobby. Itachi was walking slightly in front of his baby brother, so he missed seeing Sasuke stick his tongue out at and flip off the receptionist as they left.

* * *

"Are you hungry?" Itachi asked as they walked down the street. They were technically supposed to be in school, but Itachi figured that they should be fine since they weren't wearing their uniforms.

"A little bit," Sasuke replied quietly. Holding Itachi's hand was beginning to get to him now that he didn't have any dumb girls to piss off. He hoped his face wasn't  _too_  red. Itachi smirked a little. His baby brother looked so cute like this...

"How does sushi sound?" The elder suggested. Sasuke seemed to think over it for a minute before nodding his approval.

"That sounds good," he said with a small smile.

They walked around for a little bit longer until they came across a sushi place. They went inside and decided to order it to go so they could take it home and eat it because their mother had told them to head home after leaving the office. Soon, they were back on their way.

Their hands had gotten separated during the time in which they got their food and left. Sasuke couldn't really tell if he was glad for this or disappointed, but before he had time to really think it over, he felt warm fingers lacing through his own once more. The boy began blushing even more than he had earlier. Itachi chuckled quietly as his Otouto stared at the ground in front of them in embarrassment.

The elder didn't really know why, but his hand felt far too cold without Sasuke holding it.

* * *

"How did therapy go today, Sasuke?" Mikoto asked as the three Uchiha's sat down for dinner later that evening.

Sasuke shrugged and grumbled something unintelligible before shoving rice into his mouth.

"Care to translate that, Itachi?" The lady raven chuckled.

Itachi smirked. "Well, he wouldn't really talk to me about it earlier."

"Oh really? Well tell us how it went!"

Sasuke finished chewing as  _slowly_  as possible before swallowing and answering.

"I didn't like her," he said.

Mikoto's face fell and she tilted her head to the side. "How come, dear?"

Sasuke shrugged and pushed the food on his plate around.

"I just didn't."

"Well," the lady raven sighed, "you're signed up for three more sessions for the month. Think you can stick it out?"

The younger raven 'tsked' and pouted. "I guess." He grumbled.

Mikoto sighed, and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Well, I'll give her a call tomorrow so we can discuss how today went."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he froze with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth.

_Crap._

Mikoto noticed her son's sudden uneasiness and quirked an eyebrow.

"Is there some reason why I  _shouldn't_  call her?" She asked, teasing slightly.

Sasuke shook his head quickly.

"No," he squeaked. The worst the woman could do was tell his mother that he refused to talk...which would incur the wrath of the lady Uchiha onto his much smaller and weaker self. Sasuke's lip began quivering as he thought of how pissed his mom was going to be.

 _I'm screwed,_  he thought miserably as he finally closed the distance between his chopsticks and his mouth.

* * *

There was a thunderstorm that night, and a really bad one, at that. Sasuke had always been scared of thunderstorms, especially when he was younger and used to run into Itachi's room whenever there was one. However, over the past couple of years since he developed feelings for his big brother, he began doing that less and less. But now...

"Eep!" Sasuke squeaked as he covered his head with his comforter. This one was really terrifying!

He briefly ran through the options in his head. Option one; stay here and be awake all night and possibly piss himself out of fear. Option two; go see if Itachi was still awake and sleep soundly and  _not_  piss himself out of fear. Sasuke groaned, and pulled back his covers.

_Option two it is..._

He pattered over to his door and opened it quickly, then began walking the short distance to his big brother's room.

"'Niki?" He whispered as he knocked lightly on the door. He heard shuffling behind it, and then the door was opened to reveal a sleepy-looking Itachi. A crash of thunder and an extremely manly yelp from the younger were all the explanation Itachi needed. He chuckled and stepped aside.

"You can sleep in here," he said.

"Thank you so much," Sasuke breathed with obvious relief. He made his way over to Itachi's bed and laid down. Itachi soon followed him after lightly shutting the door and laid down next to him. The elder decided as soon as he agreed to let Sasuke sleep with him that he was going to keep as much distance between them as possible, but, apparently Sasuke had a different idea. He scooted over as close to his Nii-san as he could get and cuddled up. Itachi gulped.

This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	12. Running Mascara

"Are you okay, Itachi? You don't look like you slept very well..."

Itachi glanced up from the math worksheet he was working on towards the direction of the voice.

"Go do your work, Deidara. Mind your own business." The blonde huffed and pouted a bit, but soon sunk into the empty desk next to the raven.

"Something's bothering you. I wanna know what it is, hm," he said with a nod for emphasis. Itachi sighed. When Deidara wanted to know something, he wouldn't quit until he got his answer. Being secretive would get Itachi nowhere.

"It's about me and Konan."

"Hm? Trouble in paradise? That's a surprise, yeah."

"Tch. She and I have hardly had a perfect relationship."

"Awh, c'mon, Itachi- you guys have been together for three years and you've never really even fought, hm!"

"Well, that may be true, but...sometimes I honestly feel as though the two of us would be better off as friends."

Deidara raised a blonde eyebrow and gaped in disbelief. "You're breaking up with her?"

Itachi shrugged. "Not necessarily for good, but I think it would be healthy for us to take a break."

The blonde regarded Itachi as though he'd sprouted an extra head. Was this really the same guy who used to be head-over-heels for Konan?

"You sure you're okay, yeah?" He asked.

Itachi shrugged yet again.

"I honestly don't know anymore," he mumbled.

Truth be told, ever since Sasuke's confession and their kiss, Itachi was unable to stop thinking about Sasuke in a more-than-brotherly way. And last night...well, Itachi was up for most of it trying to focus on  _not_  getting hard with Sasuke's half-bare body practically draped over him.

_That child should not be allowed to sleep in only boxers. It's inhumane._

Deidara decided not to pry much more into the subject of Itachi's well-being, seeing as the raven probably wouldn't tell him much anyways.

_Secretive bastard._

"Well...how do you think she's gonna take it, hm?" The blonde asked with his head in his hand.  _Poor Konan..._

Itachi sighed. "I don't know that, either."

Deidara shot his friend a sympathetic look, and patted him on the shoulder.

"Good luck, my man."

* * *

"Konan, can we talk in private?"

The blunette shot a curious look towards her boyfriend, but nodded, stood from her seat, and followed his lead away from their group of friends. Once they were outside in the hallway and Itachi was certain they were far enough away that no one would eavesdrop, he took a deep breath to steady himself, and began.

"I think we should take a break."  _Way to be gentle, Itachi._

"What?" Konan blinked a couple of times, trying to process what he'd just said. Itachi sighed deeply.

_Well, here goes nothing._

"I don't know about my feelings anymore, Konan. I'm confused. I'm...sorry. You're still going to be someone very important to me, but I just need some time to figure myself out. This whole thing is driving me insane."

Konan's face darkened.

"So it's about Sasuke, huh?" She grimaced and stared at the ground. She was trying her best not to cry, but she was technically being dumped by her boyfriend for his little brother. That's a hard pill to swallow.

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what I'm going to do about this whole situation between us and it isn't fair to make you suffer alongside me."

"Well, I hope you work out your feelings soon."

 _She took that...well._  
  
"You aren't angry?" He asked.

"Well, of course I'm disappointed, but I know you're going through a lot, and...I understand," Konan said with a fake smile.  _Don't cry._ She knew trying to plead and beg for Itachi not to leave her would be pointless...plus, that wasn't her style. She would take their parting with grace. Itachi nodded, relief taking over his features. It was his worst fear that Konan would grow to hate him.

"Thank you," he said as he pulled the girl into a brief hug. Once he pulled away, he smiled at her (she tried her hardest to smile in return) and pecked her on the forehead, then turned on his heel to head back inside their classroom. As soon as Itachi disappeared through the door, Konan's face fell and she began to cry.

She turned to head in the other direction towards the girl's restrooms. She tried to keep herself from crying too badly until she reached them, and although it was a difficult feat, she still managed it. Once she made it to the restroom, however, she could no longer hold in any of her tears.

 _Three years for nothing._  
  
She had honestly seen this coming, but it happened a lot sooner than she expected. It came as a bit of a surprise that he already moved to taking a 'break' (she knew they weren't getting back together any time soon) when he only just discovered his possible feelings for Sasuke so recently. She sobbed softly into her hands and sunk down onto the ground. The girl was thankful that everyone in this hallway was at lunch right now. She didn't want anyone to see her acting so weak.

* * *

"How'd she take it, hm?" Deidara asked once Itachi had reappeared.

Itachi shrugged.

"She took it better than I expected."

"Well that's good...uh, where is she?"

Itachi looked behind him. He figured she followed him back inside.

"I...don't know," he responded dumbly.  _Where did she go?_  
  
The blonde face-palmed.

"You really know nothing about women, hm!" Deidara huffed as he exited the classroom and made his way towards the girl's restrooms. He didn't hesitate before stepping inside- he could pass as a girl, anyway.

"Oi, Konan? You in here?" He called.

The girl's eyes widened for a moment before she got to work on wiping away her tears. She grimaced when her hands came back with smeared eyeliner on them.

_I must look awful._

Deidara sighed once he caught sight of her. He couldn't believe how broken she looked. She was normally so good at hiding her emotions, but obviously this had hit her pretty hard.

"Hey," Deidara whispered. "You alright?" He made his way over to where she was sitting in the corner, and crouched down. He gently pushed some stray hair off of her forehead and shot her a reassuring smile. "You're strong, yeah. You'll make it through this. It's Itachi's loss for giving up a girl as awesome as you."

Konan tried her best to smile in return. Leave it to Deidara to try to cheer her up.

"Thanks, Dei. I appreciate that. It's just...three years is a long time for things to end so...abruptly."

Deidara nodded in confirmation. "It is, yeah. I know it's not my business, but what exactly happened?"

Konan sighed and brought her knees to her chest. "Well, it's not something I can really go into detail about, but basically, there's someone else who Itachi may have feelings for."

"He left you for someone else, then? I didn't think that was his style, hm." Deidara mused.  _How could he leave a girl as great as Konan?_  
  
"It's more complicated than that. Much more complicated," she sighed. "Just...things will be better this way." She turned towards Deidara and smiled. "Thanks for being a good friend, Dei."

The blonde smiled in return, and patted the girl on the head lightly; although he was careful not to mess up her hair. He knew the pain of keeping one's hair perfect quite well, after all.

"It's no problem, yeah!"

* * *

"You're a dick," Deidara hissed once he made it back to the classroom and he and Konan had parted ways. "A total  _dick_."

Itachi raised an eyebrow in amusement which caused Deidara to huff and cross his arms over his chest.

"You left Konan for someone else, yeah!"

Itachi blanched. "How much did she tell you?" He was internally freaking out, but he still managed to keep his face neutral- at least, he hoped he did.

Deidara quirked his head to the side.

"She just said you liked someone else, hm."

Color soon returned to Itachi's face, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Ah. Well, I suppose that's partly true."

"See! You are a dick!"

"Quiet down, Deidara. People are staring."

The blonde took a look around and found that yes, in fact, people were regarding him curiously. He grinned sheepishly and sunk down into the desk next to Itachi. He lowered his voice to a whisper and began speaking once again.

"Seriously though, Itachi. I found the poor girl sitting in the bathroom crying." He punched Itachi lightly on the arm. "Dick."

The raven glared at Deidara.

"Dick." The blonde repeated, obviously unfazed by the murderous aura being projected in his direction.

"Shut up."

Itachi turned his glare away from his annoying blonde friend. Well, now that he knew she'd been crying, he felt rather guilty. He didn't know she was that upset, but then again, he'd never been very good at reading other people's emotions. He was oblivious to Sasuke's feelings for years, after all. Itachi sighed and slid his untouched bento towards Deidara. He wasn't hungry.

* * *

"Nii-san, can you help me with my homework?"

Itachi sighed and shut his book before bringing his gaze to meet Sasuke's. He still felt rather guilty about earlier, although he knew it was only a matter of time until they would have needed to end it. He didn't really feel like being around anyone at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but I would like some time alone right now. Maybe later."

Sasuke pouted but sighed and closed Itachi's door behind him.

Sasuke was worried that perhaps Itachi was getting sick of him, but tried to ignore that thought. His big brother had said he'd help him later, so he figured it would be pointless to let it bother him. He decided to read some manga for awhile until Itachi decided to stop being antisocial.

* * *

"Sasuke! Get your ass down here!" Mikoto shouted.

Sasuke froze.

_Fuckshitfuckfuckfuckfuck._

He closed the manga he'd been reading for the past couple of hours, took a deep breath to steady himself, and then made his way towards his door. He froze once again and contemplated whether or not jumping out his window would be safer than going downstairs...really, was a broken bone or two worse than dealing with an angry mom?

"SASUKE!"

The small boy gulped and cowered in fear. He could already tell that this was going to be one harsh verbal lashing. He soon mustered up the courage to push his door open, then  _slowly_  descended the stairs. His mother didn't even give him a moment to breath before she began.

"How could you be so rude to such a kind woman?! She's there to help you, Sasuke! I cannot believe I didn't raise you with more manners. I'm ashamed of your behavior!  _Glaring_  at her? Refusing to answer her questions? How could you do something like that?! You're an Uchiha! Uchiha's have manners, but obviously you have none, or else you would have..."

And that's about where Sasuke tuned her out and began staring at the wall. He knew his mother would probably go on for at least fifteen minutes, anyway and would undoubtedly repeat herself over and over again until she was satisfied that he "learned his lesson". Eventually, the lady raven ran out of things to rant about and simply told Sasuke to go to his room. He happily complied and ran upstairs quickly. He had a slight headache from his mother's incessant talking. Once he made his way back to his room, he sighed with relief.

_Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be._

Then, there was a knock on his door.

"Hey, Otouto, do you still need help with your homework?"

Itachi felt rather bad for denying his brother earlier and he was feeling a little bit better. Sasuke rushed to unlock his door, flung it open, and smiled hugely at his big brother. At the sight of his baby brother so overjoyed at the simple thought of spending time together, Itachi's heart began beating furiously. He shook his head softly to clear his mind, then motioned for Sasuke to follow him into his room. Sasuke grabbed his backpack and soon followed Itachi down the hallway. Once there, they sat down on Itachi's bed and began working on Sasuke's pre-algebra homework together.

* * *

After dinner that night (and after Sasuke withstood another verbal attack from their mother), both boys retired to their rooms. As Sasuke lay in bed, he found that he really missed the feeling of his brother's body next to him and- after tossing and turning for a couple of hours- he also found that it was impossible for him to fall asleep.

 _Would Nii-san let me sleep with him again?_  The boy wondered.  _Well...it's worth a shot, I guess._  
  
So Sasuke got out of bed and made his way towards Itachi's room. He knocked on the door lightly, and was about to rethink his decision of seeking his brother's comfort, when the door was partially swung open. Itachi was surprised seeing as it wasn't storming outside and Sasuke hardly asked to sleep with him anymore.

"Uh...can I sleep in here?" The boy asked with a blush and his eyes downcast.  _This is embarrassing..._

"Why, Otouto?"

Sasuke blushed even more. "N-No reason! I'll just leave-"

"I didn't say no."

Sasuke looked shocked for a moment, but then he began smiling.

"Thank you, Aniki!" He beamed as he made his way inside Itachi's room and towards his bed. He just knew he was going to sleep better now!

Truth be told, Itachi had no idea why he agreed to another night of torture, but seeing Sasuke look so...cute while asking him broke his resolve. How was he supposed to say no to a face like that?

 _But this time,_  he thought to himself,  _I'll be sure to keep my distance from him._

Yeah, right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	13. Sex Ed

_This can't be happening. This can't. Be. Fucking. Happening._

But it was.

Itachi had been sleeping soundly up until a couple of moments ago. But now, well…

"Nggh, N-Nii-san…"

Itachi buried his face in his pillow. It had been a huge mistake agreeing to let Sasuke sleep in here. A huge. Fucking. Mistake. But, then again, how was Itachi supposed to know Sasuke was going to have a wet dream about  _him_  that night? Puberty sure has a funny way of making things awkward.

The young boy arched his back slightly and released a breathy moan that went straight to the elder's groin. It didn't matter that he wasn't looking at him- he could feel the bed shifting slightly with every jerky movement Sasuke made.

 _Should I wake him?_  Itachi wondered to himself. But he wasn't sure he really  _wanted_  to wake his little brother up seeing as he himself was beginning to get hard. How would he explain that?

"H-Hahh…Itachi," the boy moaned.

_God hates me. God really fucking hates me._

Itachi decided there was no way in hell he was going to stay in here and withstand any more of this torture. He needed to relieve himself  _badly._  He'd never been so aroused in his life- not even when he and Konan were experimenting and exploring each other's bodies. Nope, this was the worst.

He tried to get off the bed as lightly as he could, as he really didn't want to wake Sasuke; although, the boy was a pretty heavy sleeper. Once he managed to crawl over Sasuke and get off of his bed (with a full hard-on, which takes some skill), he rushed to the hallway bathroom, careful to lock the door behind him.

He was going to feel guilty about this later…

* * *

Once Itachi was finished taking care of business, he quietly made his way back into his room. Sasuke's dream seemed to have ended, and he was now sleeping peacefully. The elder sighed in relief before crawling into bed next to his little brother. He curled himself up in the corner as far away from Sasuke as he could get, and soon fell back asleep.

* * *

Waking up to a half-naked Sasuke draped over himself wasn't exactly the way Itachi wanted to wake up. He groaned as memories from the night before flooded into his mind. That, coupled with morning wood, made for a rather unpleasant awakening.

"Sasuke," he whispered harshly, "wake up."

The boy groaned and shifted, accidentally brushing up against Itachi's erection in the process. The elder groaned, and pushed the boy off of him. Sasuke yawned and sleepily opened his eyes to peer up at his elder brother before closing them once again. Itachi's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Waking Sasuke up was never easy.

"Sasuke, wake up."

The young raven groaned and rolled onto his side so he was facing away from his older brother.

"Five more minutes, 'Niki…" He mumbled.

"We need to get ready for school," the elder said as he shook the boy softly. Sasuke groaned once again and tried to bat his hand away.

"Leave me alone, you ass," he mumbled.

Geez, his little brother was so grumpy in the morning. Itachi decided that he  _would_  leave him alone- let his brother be late for all he cared. It wouldn't matter to him, anyway. Itachi got himself up then, and made his way towards the hallway bathroom. He needed a cold shower.

* * *

"'Niki!" Sasuke shouted as he ran towards the bathroom. "I'm freaking out!"

The door was open, and Sasuke ran inside with panic etched all over his young face. The elder raised an eyebrow and regarded his obviously worried younger brother with amusement.

"About?"

"There was this white stuff in the front of my boxers when I woke up!"

Itachi dropped the towel he'd been using to dry his hair.  _Oh no._

"What was it, Nii-san?" The small boy was practically on the verge of tears. "I'm not gonna die, am I?"

Itachi would have laughed if it weren't for the mental images currently flooding his mind.

"No…you had a…a wet dream," the elder mumbled, his face flushing hotter by the second.  _That's it, there's no doubt about it; God hates me._

"A what?"

"A wet dream," he repeated, slightly louder than before. This was definitely  _not_  the type of conversation he wanted to have right after he'd recently managed to will away his erection. "It means you had a sexual dream, and well…you ejaculated."  _Kill me now._

"….What?"

Itachi groaned loudly and  _barely_ resisted the urge to slam his head on the counter.

"Don't you have sex education at school, Otouto?"

"Uh…yeah, but I haven't taken it yet."

 _Just my luck_. The elder sighed, and picked up the towel he'd dropped.

"Well, when a boy matures, he begins getting erections…you know what those are, right?"

"Uhm," Sasuke averted his eyes and began to blush. "It's when your dick gets hard."

"…That's one way to put it," the elder sighed, "but yes. And you also have wet dreams, in which you…ejaculate, just like you did last night."

"Uh, okay?" Sasuke didn't really understand what his elder brother was saying, but he was trying his best to wrap his mind around it.

"It's puberty- it happens to everyone. Don't worry about it. It means you're growing up."  _Please let this be the end of this conversation._

Sasuke nodded.

"Okay." Well, growing up was good, right? Sasuke pattered out of the bathroom and back to his room then, so he could wait for Itachi to get done in the bathroom. In the meantime, he tried his best to remember the dream he'd had the night before.  _What was it about again?_

_Itachi loomed above the smaller form on the bed, peppering light kisses and bites on every area of skin he could find. The small boy moaned and writhed underneath him._

_"Nggh, N-Nii-san…"_

_Itachi crashed his lips against his baby brother's with fervor, drawing a moan from the small boy in the process. He trailed light kisses down his neck and stopped to bite on one of Sasuke's nipples lightly._

"I'm done in the bathroom."

The boy 'ee'ped'. He'd been so busy trying to recall his dream that he didn't even notice Itachi enter his room! But…what was that funny feeling  _down there?_  Sasuke glanced down at his pants, and noticed a little tent forming. He began blushing furiously.

"Sasuke? Are you alright?" 

"I'm fine!" Sasuke squeaked. He then made a mad dash out of his room and towards the bathroom.

The elder raised an eyebrow at his Otouto's strange behavior, but decided to let it go. He honestly just wanted to forget about their conversation, and most of all, last night.

Once the younger made it to the bathroom, he shut and locked the door behind him. Then, he stared at the bulge in the front of his pants. He tried his best to remember the rest of his dream…

_The elder continued to trail kisses down Sasuke's torso, until he was level with the small boy's erection. He smirked up at the younger before engulfing it whole and sucking fervently. Sasuke bucked his hips into the elder's mouth and cried out as his senses were assaulted with unimaginable pleasure._

_"H-Hahh…Itachi," the boy moaned_

Sasuke's eyes widened. He was blushing terribly and the problem in his pants seemed to have gotten even  _worse_. He remembered talking to Naruto about boners before…something about touching and rubbing them until it felt really good? Sasuke had no real idea what he was doing, but he pushed down his pants until his arousal sprung free. He blushed once again.

_Well, it can't hurt to try…_

So, with memories of his dream to fuel him, Sasuke wrapped a hand around his length and began pumping slowly. He gasped a little. It felt a lot better than he expected. He continued this, alternating the pressure and speed of his hand, until the good feeling seemed to be building up to something. He felt like he was going to explode…and then he did.

Once he was able to catch his breath, he saw that he'd managed to get that same white stuff all over his hand.

 _Well, now it makes more sense,_ he thought as he washed his hands, dried them, and then pulled up his pants.  _So, that's what happened in my sleep last night?_

Sasuke knew what sex was, he just didn't really know the mechanics of it. He didn't even know wet dreams existed until last night! He'd gotten hard a couple of times before, but he'd never really done anything about it and it had seemed to go away on its own eventually…but a wet dream? That was something new.

He and Naruto had even managed to get into Kurama's stash of porn before, and they'd watched a video or two. It hadn't really done anything for Sasuke- it was straight, after all- but at least he knew how sex worked…kind of. The fake moans and artificial tits had turned him off more than anything, though.

He sighed and squirted some toothpaste on his toothbrush, and began brushing his teeth to finish getting ready for the day.

* * *

School was a bit awkward for Itachi. Konan seemed to be avoiding him, which he understood perfectly, but Deidara was still acting pissy as well.

"I'm telling you- you could have been a lot nicer!"

"And how, exactly, could I have done that?" Itachi snapped.

Deidara simply shrugged.

"I don't know, hm."

"Then shut up."

The blonde pouted at him, but relented.

"Fine, fine. She's still upset though, yeah."

"Obviously. She won't even look at me."

"Well, that's because you were a total di-"

"Shut up," the raven hissed. Deidara flinched back a little bit. Well, it had been awhile since he'd received  _that_  particular glare. Geez, it was like his eyes were red or something. "Why don't  _you_  try to talk to her again? She obviously enjoys your company."

Deidara lifted an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"Make her feel better."

"Uh…okay?"

So Deidara stood and made his way over to Konan. She was sitting near a group of their other friends and glanced up when Deidara came closer.

"My man wanted me to cheer you up. I don't really know what he meant by that, yeah, but…hey!" Deidara said with a grin. Konan smiled softly at him.

"Hey," she said. Deidara continued to grin at her, and soon sunk into the desk beside hers. Their other friends, Kisame and Sasori, both shot him questioning looks, but soon made their way over to Itachi. They didn't feel like dealing with Deidara. He seemed to be in one of his flirtatious moods, and lord knows that guy could get annoying.

"How are you holding up, hm?"

Konan shrugged and folded her hands in her lap.

"I'm alright, I suppose. I feel awkward being around Itachi, though."

"That's understandable, yeah," Deidara nodded, "but hey, maybe the two of you can be friends eventually."

Konan smiled softly.

"That would be nice."

They began chatting about idle things after that, and Itachi noticed that Konan seemed to be smiling more.

"What happened between the two of you, Itachi-san?" Kisame asked as he sat down next to the raven. Itachi simply shrugged in response. He didn't owe anyone an explanation, and his friends knew better than to expect one from him. Sasori soon sat down on the other side of him, and began making conversation with Kisame. Itachi didn't pay them much attention, and kept his eyes trained on the blonde and blunette chatting with each other a few desks ahead.

_Perhaps Deidara could help Konan get over me._

* * *

Sasuke had a rather uneventful day at school. He was harassed by fangirls, hung out with the Dobe, told Sakura she was annoying- same old, same old. He sighed and set his book-bag down in the hallway, slipped off his shoes, and pattered his way into the living room.

"Nii-san?" He called as he made his way upstairs. The small raven walked to his big brother's room, and was surprised to find it empty.  _That's weird…he should be home by now._  Sasuke's face fell.  _He's probably out with Konan or something…_  He thought bitterly. His face scrunched up in anger.

It wasn't fair that she was allowed to kiss and touch his Nii-san like that! And Itachi was such a good kisser, too…

The small raven plopped down on his big brother's bed with a sigh. It wasn't fair that they couldn't be together…why did they have to be brothers, anyway? No part of this was fair at all! The smaller raven's anger soon turned into incredible sadness. He knew things would be impossible between them, especially considering everything Itachi had withstood at the hands of their father.

_We'll never be together…_

This thought continued to repeat itself in his head, until all he wanted to do was scream and cry and throw things; but he knew that wouldn't help anything, anyway.

His right hand inched its way closer to his left wrist without his consent. He knew he shouldn't, and that Itachi and his mother would freak if they saw them, but…he just felt so  _sad._  He began lightly scratching at his skin. He didn't do it as hard as he had last time, but he accidentally scratched over and reopened the old wounds a bit…but he didn't really care. He was too caught up in the numbing feeling of his nails scraping against his flesh to even notice when he was no longer alone in his Aniki's room.

He did notice, however, when suddenly his hand was being yanked away from his wrist.

"Sasuke, what the hell?!"

The raven regarded his brother with a dead expression on his face. He felt slight wetness on his cheeks, which surprised him a good bit.

_Am I crying?_

"Otouto, I thought you were done with this…" Itachi trailed off as he held Sasuke's wrist up to his face to examine it.  _At least they aren't as bad as last time._ The elder sighed, and sat down next to Sasuke on his bed. He soon moved his hand from holding Sasuke's wrist, to holding his hand. He gently laced his fingers through his baby brother's, and had to suppress a shiver at the feeling.  _His hands are so soft._

"Sasuke…why were you hurting yourself?" He asked.

Sasuke's face darkened. "It's the only thing that helps me feel better since I know we'll never be together," he deadpanned. Itachi looked taken aback for a moment, but soon his face fell.

"Sasuke…"

"I know you'll never love me…so what's the point?" He sniffled. "There's no point to anything anymore."

Itachi removed his hand from Sasuke's- which caused the boy's tears to increase- but soon cupped his little brother's face in his hands.

"Baby brother," Itachi sighed. He wiped away the tears that continued to spill from Sasuke's beautiful onyx orbs with the pads of his thumbs. "Otouto, I do love you."

"Yeah, as a  _brother,"_ Sasuke spat the word as though it were a curse.

"Yes, as a brother-"

"I already know this, you don't have to-"

"You didn't let me finish, Sasuke," Itachi chuckled. "I love you as more than that, as well."

To say that Sasuke looked shocked would be a complete understatement.

"W-What? But you have Konan, and-"

"I broke up with her yesterday."

"You..did? But why?" He asked with obvious disbelief.

"Because I have feelings for someone else."

Sasuke began blushing profusely.

_There's no way…no way that…_

"Otouto…I love you. I've realized that I feel for you in a way that a brother shouldn't, but…I don't want to put you through that," he sighed. "You're much too young."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"I'm not that young! I love you! Please, just-just try it! Try  _us_. I promise you won't regret it! Please, Aniki-"

"Sasuke…" Itachi could feel his resolve chipping away bit by bit. "You're  _eleven._ "

Sasuke huffed in annoyance. Why couldn't his brother see that his age didn't matter?

"Aniki, I know you may see me as being just a kid," Sasuke began as he inched his face closer to the elder's. "But I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you."

Then Sasuke kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts c:


	14. Another Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a mini-chapter, but I'm planning a short time-skip for the next chapter. Sorry ;-;

Itachi was shocked. He didn't think Sasuke would ever be so…forward. He tried to push his younger brother's face away from him, seeing as he was still holding it in his hands, but Sasuke grabbed his hands and forced them away from his cheeks and down to the elder's sides.

Now, Itachi was much stronger than his little brother, but he could hardly believe how…demanding Sasuke was being. The kiss itself wasn't all that demanding- it was light and almost innocent- but the fact that he had the audacity to try and kiss him again was rather surprising.

Itachi's eyes remained open, as did Sasuke's. It almost seemed as though the boy was trying to stare the elder into submission. He continued to knead his lips lightly against Itachi's, but Itachi wouldn't respond. Then, Sasuke bit down lightly on the elder's bottom lip.

For some reason, that simple action ignited a spark of pure lust in Itachi and before he was truly aware of what he was doing, he'd begun kissing back almost violently. Sasuke moaned and let his eyes slip shut. He soon released Itachi's hands, and laced his fingers through the elder's hair, pulling out his hair-tie in the process. It was as though all the self-restraint Itachi had been exercising over the past week had suddenly been broken.

"Mmm, Aniki," Sasuke moaned as the elder continued to attack his mouth. Itachi almost felt as though he'd lost control of himself; the part of him that should have been screaming for him to 'stop' was completely silent. The elder soon pushed the boy down, and crawled on top of him while never once breaking their passionate lip-lock. He licked along the boy's bottom lip, which caused Sasuke to gasp. Itachi took this opportunity to eagerly shove his tongue into Sasuke's mouth, and the boy was obviously surprised, but tried his best to respond with his slightly shyer tongue. They continued to make out for awhile until the elder had finally calmed down enough to think clearly. Their lips slowed down, and Itachi's tongue was less insistent, and they just…kissed.

Then, Itachi pulled back.

_What did I just do?_

He remained in his position above his baby brother, though, and simply looked at him. Sasuke's eyes were half-lidded and his face was flushed and he was panting slightly, but he honestly looked…happy.

"Sasuke…" The elder felt extremely conflicted. Surprisingly, he didn't have the urge to vomit as he did last time. Perhaps it was the fact that Sasuke had physically initiated the kiss this time that kept the crushing guilt and nausea at bay; although, he'd gotten a bit carried away, and he felt bad for that.

_Wait…_

Itachi's eyes widened.

_I'm hard._

He soon sat up and scooted over to the edge of his bed. Sasuke propped himself up on his elbows, and regarded the elder curiously.  _Well, at least he isn't running away and throwing up again._

"'Niki? What's wrong?"

The elder was blushing terribly.

"It's nothing," he responded as he tried to nonchalantly shift himself so his bulge wasn't showing. He didn't do a very good job of it, though, and Sasuke caught sight of it. He smirked triumphantly.

"Is that because of me?"

Itachi's eyes widened once again and flickered up to Sasuke's, but then he began staring at the ground.

"…Obviously." He murmured, causing Sasuke to chuckle.

"It's okay, Nii-san," Sasuke said. "I'm hard, too."

Itachi's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and then, without his consent, flickered up towards Sasuke's crotch. Yup, there was definitely a tent there. The elder held his face in his hands.

_This can't be happening._

"I could…help you with that," Sasuke suggested. How he managed to sound completely innocent while doing so was a complete mystery to the elder. Itachi got even harder at his Otouto's kind invitation, which caused him to groan. Then, he stood up.

"I'll be back," he choked out.

"You're not going to throw up again…are you?" The younger asked.  _Do I really disgust him that much?_

The elder briefly found himself wondering how Sasuke knew he threw up the last time, but decided there were more pressing matters at hand.

"No," said as he shook his head before rushing out of his room and towards the hallway bathroom. Once there, he shut and locked the door behind him.

He had something  _else_  to take care of.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't convinced his big brother was telling him the truth, so after he heard the door close, he made his way towards the bathroom as well. He stopped outside it, and pressed his ear up against it.

_What is Aniki doing in there?_

He couldn't hear anything for awhile, and was about to give up, when…

"S-Sasuke…"

The pre-teen's eyes widened considerably.

 _That was definitely a moan, and people moan when…_  Sasuke's eyes widened even more, and he began to blush.

Was his Nii-san… _touching_  himself? While thinking of  _him_? The boy backed away from the door quickly- imagine how awkward it would be to get caught eavesdropping! He scampered back to his Aniki's room, and plopped down on his bed. Well, this sure gave him something to think about.

_I did that to him?_

* * *

Ten minutes later, Itachi came back. At the sight of his big brother, Sasuke immediately flushed crimson and averted his eyes. He couldn't stop imagining him doing… _that_. Did it feel as good as when he'd done it to himself? Sasuke shut his eyes and shook his head quickly to try and will away those thoughts. He'd just gotten himself to go soft again, and thoughts like that definitely weren't going to help!

"So," he began, "what were you doing in there for so long?"

Itachi blushed and seemed to be looking everywhere but at his little brother.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

Sasuke  _was_  going to call him a liar and tell him that people don't just disappear for ten minutes without a reason, but soon decided against it. He had another, more important question.

"Uhm…where does this leave us, Aniki?" The young boy asked. He didn't know what they really were now that their feelings were out in the open and they'd kissed the way they did.

Itachi sighed, and sunk down onto the bed next to Sasuke.

"Just…I'm not saying I'll never give us a chance, but I need some time to sort myself out, Sasuke. You're still so young, and I-"

"Stop saying that! I'm not  _that_  young, y'know!" Sasuke exclaimed. He hated that his Nii-san kept bringing that up. It's not like he could help it!

"Otouto…"

Itachi leant in, and lightly kissed his baby brother on the forehead, then each cheek, before pausing right above his lips. "Just give me time," he whispered before kissing him chastely. This kiss left Sasuke with butterflies, unlike the last which had left him hard and wanting. This one wasn't full of carnal desire or lust. It was full of love, and he never wanted it to end.

But, eventually, Itachi had to pull back.

"I love you, Sasuke," he said with a gentle smile.

* * *

Mikoto stepped into the dimly-lit office. She clutched at her purse nervously while resisting the urge to bite her thumbnail.

 _This will be good for_ me, she reminded herself for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

The woman glanced around and noticed numerous medical papers and such decorating the walls. She also noted that there were a couch and chair near the center of the room. She then turned her gaze to the desk in the corner where her new therapist was currently sitting. The woman glanced up and smiled kindly at the lady raven.

"Hello," she began. "My name is Tsunade."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!!


	15. Persistent Baby Brothers

"I'm going to be seeing Tsunade again tonight. Will you guys be okay until around eleven?"

"You've sure been seeing her a lot lately, Kaa-san."

Mikoto blushed just the tiniest bit before averting her eyes from Itachi's. She brought a finger up to scratch at her cheek.

"Well, you know, I've been making a lot of progress with my anger issues, and stuff…" She trailed off, still refusing to make eye contact with her son. Itachi smirked.

"Was her sleeping over part of your 'progress'?"

Mikoto sputtered.

"I-I was having a tough night, and she offered to come over and help me!" She was turning redder by the second, and began hastily grabbing her jacket and purse in an attempt to get out of the house before her son's interrogation got any worse.

Itachi's smirk grew wider. It was far too much fun to tease his mother like this.

"You know, if she's your girlfriend, there's no need to hide that from us." He said.

"I-Itachi!"

The raven laughed. Mikoto scowled at her son, and continued grabbing whatever she needed for her outing.

"Look, I'll be back later. I'm sure you can handle whipping up a quick dinner for Sasuke and yourself. There's pizza in the freezer and if that doesn't sound good, then I'm sure you can find something else." She pecked Itachi on the forehead. "Be good," she said. Then she opened the door and stepped outside, leaving a highly amused Itachi standing in the hallway. After the door was shut and locked, Itachi had a hard time not bursting out in laughter again. His mother was terrible at hiding things! How could she invite her therapist to spend the night  _in her room_  with the door  _shut and locked_ without her sons growing suspicious? Itachi shook his head with a chuckle. Well, she seemed happier than she had in years. Tsunade was good for her.

Itachi made his way into the living room then, and plopped down on the couch. Sasuke wasn't supposed to be home from Naruto's for another twenty minutes and Itachi was bored out of his mind; although, considering the fact that he'd have to deal with Sasuke trying to pounce on him for the remainder of the evening, he rather liked the peace and quiet. Itachi sighed.

Ever since his confession and their little make-out session, Sasuke had been trying non-stop to have an actual relationship with his big brother. Itachi, on the other hand, was still wary about actually committing to Sasuke. Not because he himself had his sights set on anyone else, but simply because he wanted Sasuke to have a chance at a  _normal_  relationship. A healthier one. That, and the kid had only recently turned twelve.

Sometimes, he and Sasuke would kiss, but Itachi tried to keep the harder kissing to a minimum. But, knowing Sasuke, when the boy wanted something he got it no matter what. So if he wanted to make out with Itachi, he'd just have to whine and beg for a couple of hours, start kissing at the elder's neck, bite down a little, do something cute, and then he'd find himself with a very horny Itachi practically eating his face.

Itachi would feel guilty later (once he was able to think clearly and pry himself off of his little brother), but then Sasuke would simply cuddle up to him and tell him he loved him. And, eventually, the elder's guilt would fade away.

But Sasuke wasn't happy with just cuddling and light kissing and occasionally making out. He wanted a  _real_  relationship and no matter how many times Itachi told him his reasons, Sasuke just wouldn't give up. He told him he didn't want anyone else; he c _ouldn't_  want anyone else. Itachi was the only person he'd ever seen that way. Sasuke could hardly imagine even  _looking_  at someone the same way he looked at Itachi, let alone having the same feelings for them.

Itachi was in a bit of a predicament.

"Tadaima!"

Itachi's head jerked up.

_He's home early…_

"Okaeri," he responded.

There was the sound of the front door slamming. Sasuke soon pattered into the living room, a huge smile on his face at the sight of his big brother.

"How was your day?" He asked as he made his way over to the couch. He didn't sit down next to Itachi, no; he sat down on top of him. Facing him. Straddling him. Extremely close to him, and he soon had his arms looped around the elder's neck. Itachi gulped.

"It was fine. And yours?"

"It was good," Sasuke said. "But I couldn't stop thinking about you." He leaned in closer to Itachi then, his breath ghosting over his Nii-san's lips. "Don't I get a welcome home kiss?"

"Sasuke," Itachi growled. It was things like this that really tried his self-control. "I already told you that I don't want to make us kissing a habit- at least not the kind of kissing  _you_ have in mind."

"Why not?" The boy pouted. "You're supposed to kiss the person you love."

"Yes, but I'm sure most people aren't in love with their kid brothers."

"But you  _do_ love me, so it shouldn't matter; right, Nii-san?" Sasuke said with a smirk. He leant in and lightly brushed his lips against Itachi's. It was hardly a kiss, but it still sent sparks of electricity shooting through both of them.

"Sasuke," Itachi breathed. He needed the boy to get  _off of him_  before he did something he regretted. "Get off of me. I need to make dinner."

The younger raven began pouting once again.

"You're so mean," he whined. All he wanted was a kiss, for crying out loud! (Well, maybe that was a bit of an understatement…) But he got off of his brother. He knew that if he pissed Itachi off too badly, then the chances of him getting to sleep in his room tonight wouldn't be too good.

"Thank you, Sasuke," Itachi chuckled as he stood up. He then leant down to peck Sasuke on the lips very  _lightly_. "Welcome home." Then, he disappeared to the kitchen.

Itachi could handle  _light_  kissing (without the kid on top of him), but usually when Sasuke wanted to kiss, he wouldn't be satisfied until his lips were thoroughly bruised and he could hardly catch his breath. Itachi would have a hard time controlling himself after that, seeing as he was a teenage boy with needs and…urges. He couldn't very well satisfy those urges considering his brother was barely twelve. He wouldn't let himself take advantage of him like that, especially because of everything he'd gone through when he was younger. He was going to wait until he felt that Sasuke was ready; that is, if Sasuke still loved him as he said he did after six years…or so.

Itachi opened the freezer and began shifting through its contents. He decided on making the frozen pizza since he wasn't what one would call a good cook. He could heat things up, but that was the extent of his culinary skills. He preheated the oven then set the box on the counter.

* * *

In about thirty minutes, dinner was ready and the two boys sat down at the table to eat. They made idle conversation, something that both had grown quite used to.

"Why didn't you sleep over at Naruto's tonight?"

Sasuke shrugged and took another bite of his pizza.

"I wanted to spend time with you."

Itachi nearly choked on his food. Why did his brother always have to act so…cute?

"You should still have a social life, Otouto."

"I do! Summer break just started, so I'm sure I'll be able to see him more than I really even want to. I just didn't want to spend the night tonight," Sasuke shrugged. "I don't think he really cared much."

Itachi 'hm'd' in response and continued eating.

The elder knew that Sasuke's earlier attempt wasn't going to be the last one before the night was over. He'd gotten used to this over the past seven months, of course, but their mother wasn't due home for another three hours. He sighed. Why did he have a feeling something bad was going to end up happening tonight?

Soon, both boys had finished their food, and Itachi told Sasuke to clean up. The younger had whined and complained about it but a simple threat of being confined to his own room for the remainder of the evening shut him up quickly. After he was done in the kitchen, he found Itachi sitting back on the couch with his upper body partially propped up on the arm of it. The smaller raven wasted no time in making his way over and lying down on top of his big brother.

"Really, Sasuke?"

"I'm just cuddling," he replied innocently. He wiggled himself so his head was resting on the elder's chest, and gazed up at him with eyes full of pure adoration. "I love you, Nii-san."

"I love you too."

Sasuke smiled and nuzzled his big brother's chest before placing a light kiss there.

"You're so perfect," he sighed.

Itachi quirked an eyebrow and stole a glance towards the younger.

"How so?"

"Well…you're so nice and amazing and handsome and  _areallygoodkisser_  and awesome and smart and just…" The younger finished with a shrug, burying his face in the front of Itachi's shirt as he did so. Itachi smiled. His brother was adorable.

"Well, you're pretty great yourself."

Sasuke's head shot up at this.

"Really?"

Itachi chuckled, nodding his head.

"Yes, really."

"But I feel like I annoy you." Sasuke's face darkened. "You never want to kiss me for more than a second, and you don't want to actually date me." He finished with a scowl.

Itachi sighed.

"No, you don't annoy me, it's just…as I've said before, you're young and you still have your whole life ahead of you; that, and I don't want to take advantage of you. I have trouble controlling myself."

Sasuke pouted for a moment, but soon a devious smirk broke out across his face. He crawled up a bit until he was face-to-face with the elder. Itachi regarded him curiously.

_What is he up to?_

"What if I don't want you to control yourself?"

Itachi's breath hitched in his throat.

 _This is bad- very, very bad._  He suddenly felt incredibly stupid for allowing his Otouto to cuddle up to him.  _I should have known better._

"Please, Aniki? Won't you kiss me? Your lips feel so good."

_This is really bad this is really bad this is really bad._

"Sasuke-" Itachi had to shut his mouth to keep a moan from spilling out. Sasuke had started biting and sucking lightly at his neck. The damn tease knew just how to get what he wanted out of his older brother. The younger detached himself from Itachi's neck, and returned to facing him, but instead of a devious smirk, he had a completely innocent look on his face that he knew his brother could never resist.

"Please?"

Itachi couldn't take it anymore- he was only human! So with a growl, he reached his hand around the back of Sasuke's head and crashed their lips together. Sasuke squeaked a little, but soon fell into rhythm with the elder. Itachi's hands soon drifted down and rubbed circles on the small of Sasuke's back. The younger wasn't the least bit surprised when he felt Itachi's tongue prying his lips open, and he happily allowed it inside to play with his. They continued to kiss like this for awhile, until Sasuke could feel something poking his ass. He smirked into the kiss. It always caused him a good bit of pride knowing that he could turn his brother on.

Sasuke was feeling a bit more devious than usual, so he began wiggling his butt over the elder's clothed erection. He felt Itachi's lips still against his and heard a sharp intake of breath. The elder raven was obviously about to try and pry his lips away and push the younger off of him. Sensing this, Sasuke soon redoubled his efforts of grinding on the elder and kissing him with fervor. He had the upper hand (even if he was much smaller) being on top, after all.

The moan he drew from Itachi made Sasuke's smirk double in size. How could his brother continue to refuse him when he obviously enjoyed it when they did things like this? Itachi's hands made their way from the small of his back down to his ass. Sasuke was worried that he was going to try to still him for a moment, but then he realized he was trying to gain more friction. The elder began pushing him down harder against his arousal while squeezing lightly, causing Sasuke to moan softly.

It seems, however, that this managed to break Itachi out of his trance. His eyes shot open and he stilled Sasuke with his hands before breaking their lips apart.

"See," he growled huskily, his eyes shining with barely-contained lust. "This is what I was talking about."

Sasuke whined in disappointment. It had felt good for him, too!

"But you were enjoying it! Why won't you let me make you feel good?"

"Because you're still a kid, Sasuke."

Sasuke was about to say something smart in response, but was cut off by a quick peck to his lips.

"I would absolutely  _love_  for you to…make me feel good," Itachi said with a slight shiver. "But I wouldn't be able to live with myself afterwards. I'm sure you can figure out why."

Sasuke's face fell.

"But-but…this is different. I  _want_  this, Aniki. I want it so badly. I want  _you_."

This really wasn't helping Itachi's 'problem' at all.

"I know, Otouto, and I want you too;  _really_ , I do. But please…just think of me."

Sasuke pouted hugely. He then huffed, and snuggled himself into Itachi's chest.

"Fine," he mumbled. Itachi smiled.

"Thank you."

Now he just had to try and will his erection away.

* * *

Eventually, both brothers grew tired and made their way upstairs. They brushed their teeth, changed their clothes, and got ready for bed. Now came Sasuke's least favorite part of the day.

"Can I  _please_  sleep in your room?"

"No, Sasuke."

"Please?"

"Otouto."

"Please, please, please?"

"Can't you take no for an answer?"

"Please?"

"For the love of God."

"Pleaaaase?"

"I already said no."

"Please?"

"Fine."

Sasuke grinned in victory.

"But promise me you're not going to try anything."

Sasuke's grin fell just a fraction, but he nodded.

"I promise."

Itachi motioned for him to follow him to his room, and Sasuke scampered after him. Once there, they laid down. Sasuke tried his best to get close to his Aniki, but was stopped by a firm hand on his chest.

"How do I know you're not going to try anything?" The elder asked.

"I already promised I wouldn't. I just want to cuddle this time."

The elder was skeptical, but Sasuke's puppy-dog eyes and adorable face were too much for him to refuse. So, with a sigh, he removed the hindering hand from Sasuke's chest. The boy wasted no time in snuggling up to his older brother. He sighed happily when he felt Itachi's arm loop itself around his back and pull him closer.

"Goodnight, Aniki. Love you."

"Goodnight. I love you too."

* * *

"What time did you even get home last night?" Itachi asked.

Mikoto shrugged nonchalantly. She looked really happy.  _Too_  happy.

Now, if Itachi were anyone else, he would have asked her if she'd gotten laid. But he wasn't anyone else, so he refrained. Sasuke, however…

"You had sex, didn't you?"

Mikoto immediately turned red. "Sasuke, what the hell is wrong with you?! That's not something you ask people, especially your  _mother_!"

"So you did?"

"SASUKE!"

Itachi couldn't hold in his laughter. His brother had always been rather blunt.

Mikoto was in the midst of performing one of the calming breathing exercises Tsunade had taught her.

 _Breath, Mikoto. Calm yourself down._ Once she was decently calm again, she spoke.

"I need to head to work soon. Sasuke, are you ready for therapy?"

The pre-teen nodded with a slight scowl.

Although he and Kurenai had grown much closer over the past seven months, (and his official therapy day had been set for Saturdays), he still disliked going. And to make things even worse, Kurenai was off on maternity leave, so he had a new therapist filling in for her until she came back. He sighed. He'd barely been able to open up to Kurenai, and now some new person?

Itachi seemed to sense his younger brother's discomfort, and patted him on the back.

"You'll be fine," he said. "It's only for three months."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. He said that like it was a short span of time.

Mikoto soon grabbed her purse and motioned for Sasuke to follow her.

"You'll pick him up later, right, Itachi?" She asked.

The elder nodded, and settled himself onto the couch.

Shooting one more wistful glance back towards the comfort of the living room, Sasuke followed his mom out of the house and to the car. He r _eally_  didn't want to go, but he sat himself down and buckled himself in anyway.

_What's the worst that could happen?_

* * *

Sasuke took a deep breath outside the door of the room he'd become so well-acquainted with over the past several months. He didn't know how to feel now that he knew Kurenai wasn't the one who was going to be greeting him with one of her motherly smiles. He was almost sad that he wouldn't be able to see her for a few months.

_Well, here goes nothing._

He turned the knob and pushed the door open. He had to blink a couple of times. The room was darker than usual, which he found slightly odd.

"You're Sasuke, correct?"

Sasuke's head shot up towards the direction of the voice. He soon pinpointed it as coming from Kurenai's desk. He could hardly make out the figure in the dim lighting, but he had to suppress a shiver. Something just felt…off.

"And you are?" He asked coldly.

"My name is Orochimaru," the man said with a partially-visible smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! :)


	16. Girlfriends &Therapists

To say that Sasuke was creeped out would be a major understatement. Everything about this situation made Sasuke's skin crawl, but he really tried his best to just suck it up. The boy walked over to his usual spot on the couch and sat down. The strange man in the corner didn't say anything further after introducing himself, and it made Sasuke uneasy. The raven wrung his hands nervously and his eyes darted all around the room. Sasuke felt as though he was being stared at; although, it was impossible to tell due to the lack of light.

"Is there any reason why it's so dark in here?" He asked after a few more silent moments had passed.

The man in the corner chuckled.

"I feel as though it's more…relaxing."

Sasuke's face scrunched up a bit.

_The hell?_

"Well, I don't like it. Turn on another light."

"Demanding, are we?" He paused to chuckle once again. "Alright."

The man then stood up from his chair, and made his way over near Sasuke to turn on a floor lamp. Soon, the room was bathed in soft yellow light, but it did little to calm the raven's anxiety, especially after he'd finally gotten a good look at the man.

The man reminded Sasuke of a snake. His skin was unhealthily pale, and he seemed to be wearing some sort of purple makeup around his eyes, which Sasuke found strange. The man's hair was long, shiny, and black, and it fell over his face a bit, obscuring some of his features; which, honestly, only made him seem stranger. The man's eyes soon flickered from the lamp to Sasuke. Orochimaru licked his lips, causing Sasuke to lean back a bit with a disgusted expression on his face.

"Why are you so fucking creepy?"

This seemed to catch Orochimaru off guard, and he raised his eyebrows for a moment. But then, his face relaxed once more, and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry if I seem that way, Sasuke. That's not my intention. I'd honestly like for us to become friends."

"Tch. Well I don't want to be your  _friend_. I want Kurenai-san to come back."

This seemed to amuse the snake man greatly.

"Well, you'll just have to deal with me for the time being. I'll make sure our time together is…memorable." He said as he quickly raked his eyes over Sasuke's body.

"Creep," Sasuke muttered under his breath. He didn't know if the man had heard him or not, but he honestly didn't care.  _Just three months,_ he reminded himself. But one more glance at the strange man had Sasuke wondering if he could really survive that long.

"Well, how about we get started. Tell me about yourself, Sasuke-kun," the man said as he made his way over to the chair across from the couch.

"Why should I?"

Orochimaru laughed that weird laugh once again as he sunk down into the chair.

"Maybe it's part of my job…or perhaps I'm just curious."

Sasuke wound his arms tightly around himself. What the hell kind of thing was that to say?

"I don't like you. I'm not telling you anything about myself. Fuck off."

Orochimaru seemed highly amused.

"Such harsh language from such a young boy," he smiled. "Well, I can see you're going to be difficult. That's fine. I'll get through to you eventually."

Sasuke grit his teeth.

"That's what you think," he hissed. He just wanted Kurenai to come back! This guy was fucking  _weird._ Orochimaru 'tsk'd' and shook his head.

"Well, we may as well pick up from where Kurenai-san left off."

"Did she even meet you?" Sasuke asked, honestly curious. He seriously doubted someone like Kurenai would have approved of Orochimaru dealing with…well, anyone, to be quite honest, let alone a young boy.

"Unfortunately, we didn't have a chance to discuss things face-to-face," he said with another one of those smiles. "But she emailed me your file, and all notes she's recently taken. You've struggled with self-harm and depression in the past due to unrequited love, yes?"

Sasuke blushed a little. When he put it like that, Sasuke felt kind of… _girly._  And stupid.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But there's more to it."

"Oh?" Orochimaru seemed interested, and leaned forward in his chair a bit. "Such as?"

Sasuke shot him his best glare, although it seemed to have little effect on the snake man.

"I'm not telling you anything. Fuck off."

Orochimaru sighed, and leant back in his chair.

"I'm here to help you, Sasuke. I don't expect you to grow as close to me as you have to Kurenai-san, but I'm going to be here for your next twelve sessions. You may as well  _try_  to play nice."

"No," Sasuke said, hardening his glare. "I said fuck off."

Now, Orochimaru's patience seemed to be wearing thin. With a scowl, he stood up from his chair and swiftly closed the distance between him and Sasuke. The boy leant back as far as he could, but soon found it wasn't nearly far enough once the snake man's face was only a couple inches away from his own and his arms were on either side of Sasuke's head, boxing him in.

"Look, Sasuke," Orochimaru hissed. "You can be a brat all you want, but don't expect me to just sit back and take it." His furious expression soon relaxed back into a more amused one. "A pretty child like you really shouldn't say such rude things." He reached his hand to lightly push Sasuke's bangs off of his forehead, which had become slightly damp with cold sweat. The raven gulped. The snake man then chuckled once more, and stood up. Sasuke relaxed slightly now that he had room to breathe- but only slightly. This guy obviously didn't care about invading other's personal space, and that seriously freaked Sasuke out.

"We have a good bit of time left," Orochimaru began. "But I can see we aren't going to make any progress. Do whatever you want- I can't really find it in myself to care."

 _"_ Just what the hell am I supposed to do for forty more minutes?" Sasuke said whilst glancing at the clock on the wall. His mom wouldn't let him have a phone until he was thirteen and he didn't have an iPod, so he hadn't a thing to do. It was like his first session with Kurenai all over again, except with a creepy man instead of a kind woman.

Orochimaru shrugged.

"As I said, I can't find it in myself to care. Entertain yourself."

Sasuke scowled, but made himself comfortable- well, as comfortable as one could be in the presence of a man such as Orochimaru. The boy sighed, and crossed his arms over his chest. He began staring at the ground, and let his mind wander aimlessly. His mind naturally seemed to find itself thinking about his older brother which made the small raven blush a tiny bit, although he was unaware of and would denying ever doing such a thing. A chuckle broke him out of his thoughts, causing his head to jerk upward as a natural response.

"You were blushing," the snake man explained, "It was…cute."

Sasuke's face couldn't have possibly conveyed all the "what the fuck" he wanted it to. His Nii-san- and mother- were the only ones allowed to call him cute, and being called cute by a man like this was just…weird.

"Creep."

Orochimaru shrugged, uncaring. It didn't matter to him what the boy said. He'd get his way eventually. For now he was content with just watching.

* * *

"Nii-san!"

Itachi glanced up from the magazine he'd been absentmindedly flipping through. He always made it a habit to arrive a few minutes early, as he didn't want Sasuke to have to wait for him. The magazines in the lobby were never the best, but it was still better than staring at a wall for ten minutes.

"How'd it go, Sasuke?"

"Terrible!" The boy exclaimed once he finally reached his big brother. He practically threw himself onto the elder's lap and clung onto him for dear life. He buried his face in the front of Itachi's shirt.

"What happened?" Itachi was concerned. It was rare for Sasuke to ever be so spooked.

The boy shook his head.

"That guy…is fucking  _creepy._ "

"Language," Itachi warned, but he didn't say it harshly. "What was creepy about him?"

"Just…everything," Sasuke said. "The way he talked, the way he looked at me...everything. I don't want to go back."

Now, this clued the elder in a bit. Sasuke had come up with all sorts of excuses to not have to see Kurenai all those months ago.

_So he's being difficult again?_

"Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to quit therapy?"

Sasuke's head shot up then, his eyes wide with shock.

"What?! No, that's not it at all, I promise! He's just-"

"Sasuke, I've heard enough," the elder sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, but I can't believe you. Remember when you first started with Kurenai-san? I'm sure he'll grow on you, just like she did."

"What?! Aniki, I swear this is completely different! He's nothing like Kurenai-"

"Hush," Itachi said, holding a finger to Sasuke's lips. "We can discuss this with Kaa-san later. I can't do anything about it myself, anyway."

The boy pouted, his lip quivering slightly, but sighed and relented.

"Fine," he mumbled. Itachi ruffled his hair, and soon the boy got off of him. They headed out the door, hand in hand, and soon were on their way home.

* * *

"Please, Nii-san?"

"No."

The boy pouted. He just wanted to kiss the person he was in love with, for crying out loud! What's so bad about that?

"Why not?"

"You remember what happened last night. I don't want a repeat of that."

"But you enjoyed it."

"It shouldn't have escalated as far as it did."

Sasuke huffed angrily. His brother took the fun out of everything! He scooted over closer to Itachi on the couch, and leant his head on the elder's shoulder.

"But," the smaller raven repeated. "You enjoyed it."

Itachi sighed and shut his eyes.

"Of course I did. But that doesn't change the fact that it shouldn't have happened and I'm not going to risk it happening again." He opened his eyes and turned his head a bit to glance at his younger brother. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. Maybe when you're older."

Now, Sasuke was really starting to get pissed off. Everything seemed to be about his age, and he wasn't  _that_  young. He pouted almost violently. His brother didn't want to make out with him for fear of things escalating to the point of them doing anything sexual, and that just wasn't fair! Then, Sasuke got an idea.

"I don't get what the big deal is, Nii-san. I'll still get off with or without your help," the smaller raven said with a smug smirk.

Itachi's eyes widened, and he gulped.

 _Just_   _imagining Sasuke doing things like that…_

The elder shook his head. Those weren't the types of thoughts he needed to be entertaining.

"Well, I'm sure you can survive with that for a few more years."

"Nii-san!" The younger whined. "I'll be the age of consent in a  _year_."

"That doesn't mean you'll be ready."

"But I'm ready now!"

Itachi groaned.

"Look, I don't feel like talking about this anymore. We'll revisit the issue when you're older, alright?"

"Like my thirteenth birthday?"

Itachi had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

"Fine," he muttered in defeat. He truly doubted he'd deem Sasuke as ready by then, but if it got his brother to shut up then it was worth it.

Sasuke beamed, and pulled his older brother into a hug. He could wait one more year for his and Itachi's physical relationship to truly begin. He was still waiting for an actual  _relationship_ , after all, but hopefully that could happen sooner.

"…Can we still make out till then?"

"For the love of God."

* * *

Sasuke never got to make out with Itachi like he wanted to, but he eventually settled for cuddling while lying on top of him. The elder was wary of this position at first, seeing as it was the same position as the night before, but agreed after he made Sasuke promise numerous times that he wasn't going to try anything. After relaxing for a couple of hours in front of the television and chatting for a bit, both boys drifted off to sleep.

When Mikoto came home later that afternoon, she smiled at the sight of both of her boys cuddled up on the couch; although, she found herself wondering if Sasuke might be getting a little old for things such as that. Wasn't it odd for her seventeen and twelve-year-old sons to be snuggling so closely? Wasn't it a little strange that Sasuke  _still_  wanted to sleep in Itachi's bed every night? Wasn't he supposed to have grown out of that by now? The lady raven shrugged to herself. She figured she was worrying over nothing.

Mikoto soon decided to let her sons sleep until after she'd made dinner.

* * *

Roughly an hour later, Mikoto made her way out to the living room to wake her sons.

"Boys," she said as she shook them lightly. "It's time for dinner."

Itachi woke up quickly with a small yawn, but Sasuke groaned and turned away from his mother.

"Go away, Kaa-san," he grumbled. Mikoto shook her head with a tiny smile. Her youngest son was always so grumpy when he woke up.

"Sasuke," Itachi said as he tried to move the boy off of him. "Wake up."

Sasuke grumbled some more, but reluctantly sat up. He yawned, glared at his mother, glared at Itachi, and then stood up. He wobbled for a second, as his vision had gone spotty, but soon regained his balance and trudged off towards the kitchen. Itachi followed soon after, as did Mikoto.

The three Uchiha's sat down at the table, and began eating.

"So…I've been wondering," Mikoto began. "What do you guys think of Tsunade?"

"Your girlfriend? Yeah, I like her." Sasuke said as he picked up a chunk of rice with his chopsticks.

Mikoto choked on the sip of water she'd been taking, and Itachi had to pat her on the back for a moment until she stopped coughing.

"She…is not…my girlfriend," Mikoto wheezed.

"Sex-buddy, then?"

"SASUKE!" Mikoto exclaimed. She began coughing again, and her face was extremely red; although, whether it was from embarrassment or her coughing was a mystery to both boys. After a couple more pats on the back, Mikoto finally regained her breath. "I…was thinking of inviting her over tomorrow. Maybe the four of us could spend the day together?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Sure, I don't care. But when are you going to stop denying that she's your girlfriend?"

Mikoto's eyebrow began twitching.

"Sasuke…" She warned. That boy could really try her patience.

"I think it would be nice, Kaa-san," Itachi said while poking at his food. "But I have to agree with Sasuke about you denying you and Tsunade-san's relationship. We aren't stupid."

Mikoto's blush soon returned.

"Just…" She sighed hugely, and slumped over in defeat. "Fine…she's…my girlfriend," she muttered. Sasuke and Itachi grinned in victory.

"Well, I'm happy for you two," Itachi said with a smile. His mother seemed happier than she'd ever been with Fugaku.

"Are we going to have two moms now?" Sasuke inquired.

Mikoto flushed an even deeper crimson, and brought up a finger to scratch at her cheek.

"Things aren't that serious…yet."

Sasuke's grin grew wider.

" _Yet_?"

"Hey, do either of you have girlfriends?" Mikoto asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

Sasuke's face scrunched up in disgust.

"A  _girlfriend?_  No way. I like guys."

"Oh…do you have a boyfriend, then?" Mikoto asked, obviously unfazed by her son suddenly coming out over dinner. Why would she care, anyway?

Sasuke scowled, and threw a secretive glance towards Itachi.

"No," he muttered under his breath. Mikoto quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, is there anyone you like?"

The youngest raven sighed.

"Yeah."

"Is it Naruto?"

Sasuke's head shot up and he threw his mother an incredulous look.

"What the hell?! Why the Dobe?"

Mikoto shrugged.

"You guys spend a lot of time together, so I just figured…" She threw her hands up and shrugged. "You two would be cute together."

"You're making me nauseous."

Itachi chuckled, which successfully diverted Mikoto's attention from her youngest to her oldest.

"And what about you, Itachi? Do you have a new girlfriend? Y'know, I miss that Konan girl. She was a sweetheart. I honestly thought you two would end up getting married, but I guess things change," she shrugged while taking a bite of her food. She missed the way Sasuke was glaring daggers at the top of her head.

"Well, she and Deidara have been dating for a few months now."

Mikoto quirked an eyebrow in surprise.

"Really? How do you feel about that?"

"Well, I was the one who told Deidara to ask her out. Lord knows he's completely clueless."

Mikoto giggled, but nodded in agreement. She'd met him a couple of times, and couldn't truthfully deny that he wasn't a bit of an airhead.

"But," the lady raven began, pointing a chopstick towards Itachi. "You still didn't answer my question."

Itachi shrugged.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend…or boyfriend."

Mikoto's eyes widened and her chewing froze, before her face relaxed and she began smirking hugely.

"And here I thought you were the only straight one here." She laughed. Itachi chuckled, and shook his head.

"I've come to the conclusion that I'm bisexual."

"We have something in common, then." Mikoto said with a smile. She then turned to face her youngest. "I guess Sasuke's the odd one out, huh?"

"Tch," the smaller raven said with a smirk and an eye-roll.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, and continued eating their food. After a couple of minutes, Mikoto paused her eating and turned to face her youngest son.

"Oh! I almost forgot to ask how therapy went today," she said. "How did you like the new therapist?"

Sasuke frowned.

"He was a total creep," he muttered. "I don't want to go back."

Mikoto's face fell a little.

"What did he do that creeped you out?" Sasuke shrugged and pushed around the food on his plate.

"He was just…weird. I don't really know how to explain it." His eyes shot up then. "Please don't make me go back." He pleaded, an almost desperate edge to his voice. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that something really, really  _bad_  would end up happening if he ever saw that man again.

The lady raven sighed, and leaned her cheek on her hand.

"I'm sure you'll grow to like him, Sasuke. It took you over a month to finally stop hating Kurenai-san. Just give it time."

Sasuke grit his teeth. That was exactly what Itachi had said! He was about to open his mouth to retort, but the elder beat him to it.

"Just try to go to a couple more sessions. If you really don't like him, then I'm sure there's someone else you'll be able to talk to until Kurenai-san returns."

Sasuke scowled, but nodded his head.

If only they had listened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading~ c:


	17. Nuisance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Pedomaru in this chapter, unfortunately. But he'll be in the next one, promise!
> 
> Important note pertaining as to why Mikoto and Itachi are having trouble believing Sasuke; when he first began therapy with Kurenai, he said a lot of mean things about her in an attempt to get out of therapy. (She's stupid, ugly, dumb, etc.) But they didn't listen to him, and eventually he grew to like her. They think he's just doing the same thing with Orochimaru, but instead he's taking a different approach this time. (He's creepy, weird, etc.) They figure they have nothing to worry about because therapists have to pass background checks and it's highly unlikely that they would hire anyone who was unfit to work with children. Okay! Note over. Just wanted to clear that up.

"So, how are things at home, Itachi-kun?"

Itachi sighed and ran a hand through his bangs.

"Things are fine," he responded.

"How are things between you and Sasuke-kun?"

Now, Kakashi was a very observant man. He'd been trained to be hyper-observant of other people's emotions, after all. So, he definitely noticed the way Itachi failed to make eye contact when they discussed anything regarding his relationship with his younger brother. It had only started happening around half a year or so ago, and the masked man definitely found it strange, to say the least.

"Things are still fine," Itachi mumbled. "He's backed off and he hasn't tried anything for a long time. He and I are just…brothers."

Kakashi lifted an eyebrow, but didn't comment on the way Itachi was staring intently at the beige carpet of the small room.

" _Just_  brothers?"

Itachi nodded, still keeping his eyes glued to the floor.

"Just brothers."

Kakashi didn't believe him. He didn't believe him for a second, but he decided to just let it go for now. Itachi wouldn't do anything to harm Sasuke- he'd made that abundantly clear- and the raven would probably just lie if he were to ask; although, Itachi really was a terrible liar when it came to this. Kakashi sighed, and set his clipboard on one knee.

"How are things between you and Konan now that she and Deidara have been together for a while?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

Itachi perked up at this, and his eyes finally stopped trying to bore a hole through the carpet.

"Oh, she and I are friends now," he said with a small smile. "Although, I do find it incredibly awkward when Deidara tries to tell me about their sex life," he added, his smile falling into a slight grimace.

Kakashi grimaced as well, though it was hidden underneath his mask.

"I can see how that might be awkward."

Itachi nodded in agreement. He and Konan had lost their virginity to one another and did have a healthy sex life for a large part of their relationship, and it had been quite a long time now since they had been intimate, but hearing Deidara talk about 'banging' her was just awkward for anyone.

"I told him I'll sew his mouth shut if he doesn't stop. Sometimes I feel like he has more than one, considering how much he can talk."

Kakashi chuckled. Itachi definitely had interesting relationships with his friends.

"And what are your plans for the summer?"

Itachi shrugged, and settled back into his seat.

"Nothing special, really. Just spending time with friends and Sasuke, I suppose," he muttered thoughtfully.

Kakashi nodded, and glanced at the clock. Their time was up.

"Well," he began whilst standing up from his seat. "It was nice talking to you, Itachi-kun. Would you like me to walk you out?"

"I'm fine. It was nice talking to you as well, Kakashi-san," the teen said with a small smile. He honestly enjoyed talking to his therapist. The man was practically family by now.

The two shook hands, before Itachi made his way towards the door. Soon, he was out of the office building, and he saw his mother's car parked to the left. He walked over to it, and upon closer inspection, saw that Tsunade was in the front seat. He smirked to himself and opened the back door to slide in next to Sasuke.

"Oh, hi, honey!" Mikoto said. She was smiling more than usual, most likely an effect of being so close to the one she loved. "How was therapy?"

"It went well," Itachi said with a nod. He tried to ignore the way Sasuke had scooted over as close as possible to him and was practically clinging to his arm. It was a normal occurrence, after all. Tsunade lifted one blonde eyebrow at the boy's obvious love of his older brother, but didn't comment on it.

"So boys, you remember Tsunade, right?" Mikoto asked as she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Of course we do, mom. She is your  _girlfriend_  after all," Sasuke said with a mischievous smirk. Mikoto flushed a little and her grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"Sasuke…" She warned. Tsunade chuckled, and patted Mikoto on the shoulder, which caused the woman to blush even more.

"Calm down, hun," she said. "He doesn't mean any harm."

This seemed to soothe Mikoto and soon her grip on the steering wheel relaxed once more. The car was silent for a couple of moments, but then they drove to a busier side of town.

"I was thinking we could all go out for lunch. What sounds good to everyone?" The lady raven asked. Itachi and Sasuke shrugged. They didn't really care. Tsunade didn't seem to care much, either. At the lack of a response, Mikoto simply laughed.

"Fine. I'll choose, then," she said.

She eventually decided on some traditional-looking Japanese place. They'd all sat inside, and ordered whatever they wanted. They had a good time. Tsunade ordered some sake, and even got Mikoto to drink some as well, though she only had a little because she would have to drive them home. Sasuke continued making sex jokes about the two of them, but instead of getting as angry as she usually would, Mikoto simply laughed them off. Her laugh, however, didn't reach her eyes and she glared daggers towards her youngest son. If looks could kill, then Sasuke would have been dead ten times over by the time the check finally came. Tsunade was really too tipsy to catch on to- or care about- most of what Sasuke was saying, and soon, it was time to head home.

"Well, boys, I think Tsunade and I might go catch a movie or something. Are you okay with being dropped off at home?"

"You guys can have sex at home, you know."

"For the love of God, Sasuke!" Mikoto cried. Her son really had no idea of when to censor himself. Tsunade simply laughed and shook her head at the boy's bluntness.

Itachi poked him on the forehead roughly.

"Shut up," he hissed. Sasuke clutched at his forehead and pouted, but finally relented, much to Mikoto's relief. The rest of the drive back to their home was silent, and soon they'd arrived.

"Stay out of trouble while we're gone, boys! We should be home before dinnertime."

Itachi nodded, and the two boys got out of the car. They walked up to the door, hand-in-hand, and Itachi soon unlocked it. They headed inside, slipped off their shoes, and made their way to the living room.

"So, Otouto," Itachi began. "What do you want to do until they get home?"

"Well, we could always ma-"

"No."

"…We could always watch a movie."

"That's better."

Both boys curled up on the couch and Itachi didn't even object when Sasuke plopped himself right onto his lap. He simply wrapped his arms around the younger and rested his head on top of his. The movie wasn't really interesting, but it was something to keep both boys occupied until their mother and her girlfriend returned home.

But, eventually, the movie ended, and both boys grew bored once again.

"I think we should make out," Sasuke suggested once the credits began scrolling.

Itachi groaned hugely. God, his little brother was persistent.

"No, Sasuke," Itachi said. "Really…isn't there anyone else you like?" He knew he was probably grasping at straws here, but it was worth a try.

Sasuke froze at this, and his eyes widened hugely. He wiggled himself out of the elder's hold and spun himself around so he was facing Itachi, although he was careful to keep their lips a decent distance apart for fear of making him angry.

"Like who?!" He exclaimed. He couldn't even  _imagine_  liking anyone else.

"I don't know, maybe someone from class or something." The elder shrugged.

Sasuke gaped and stared at his brother as though he'd sprouted an extra head.

"What the hell? You're the only guy I like!"

Itachi groaned.

"I've figured as much, Sasuke, but couldn't you at least  _try_  to find interest in another person? Perhaps someone  _not_  blood-related to you and five years your senior would be good."

Itachi didn't like saying things such as this, but it was true that his baby brother still had his entire life ahead of him. He should have a chance at a normal relationship. Even if Itachi had to sacrifice his own happiness for Sasuke's, he'd gladly do it a million times over just to make sure his brother had the best life possible.

But, Sasuke really was persistent.

"No fucking way!" He nearly yelled, causing Itachi to flinch back slightly since he was so close to his face. "You're the only guy I like- the only guy I  _love_!"

Itachi's face fell a little once he saw that Sasuke was nearly on the verge of tears.

"Otouto," he said as he tried to reach up and wipe away the tears that were threatening to spill over. Sasuke slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me," he choked out as he got off of his brother's lap. "Just leave me alone. You don't love me. You're such a fucking liar. All I am is a nuisance to you!"

And with that, he ran out of the living room and upstairs to his bedroom. He locked the door behind him- call it force of habit- and collapsed down on his bed. He was crying terribly now, and the thought of self-harm was repeating itself it the back of his mind.

A few months ago, he would have automatically begun scratching at his wrist when something like this would happen. Now, however, he'd managed to break the habit. It had been nearly four months since he'd last self-harmed, and he wanted to keep it that way, no matter how hard it was. And really, it was difficult to resist the urge to scratch his wrist open when it felt like his heart was cracking in two.

Why had his brother said he loved him if he  _still_ refused to be with him? Why did his brother continue to hold his hand and cuddle with him and kiss him if it all meant nothing? Itachi just wanted Sasuke to find someone else so he wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.

Sasuke buried his head in his pillow and cried harder. It just wasn't fair! Why did they have to be related? Why did he have to be so young? And most importantly, why did he have to fall in love with his big brother in the first place?

* * *

Itachi sighed, holding his face in his hands. He hadn't meant to upset Sasuke like he did- hell, he didn't even realize that he would make Sasuke that upset by suggesting he find someone else. Thinking back on it, he probably could have gone about it a different way, but, knowing Sasuke, the boy probably would have had the same reaction no matter how he'd worded it.

It wasn't like he hadn't brought it up before! He'd told Sasuke that he should look into getting a boyfriend at school, but the boy had simply ignored him. He guessed it just must have really hit Sasuke hard this time…harder than usual.

Sighing once more, Itachi lay back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

It was true that he loved Sasuke. He loved him more than anything in the world. He always had and undoubtedly always would. The fact that he'd only realized the full extent of his feelings around half a year ago meant nothing. But there were just so many  _complications._

If they lived in a world where something like this was easily accepted, he'd waste no time in proclaiming his love for Sasuke to everyone. But, they didn't, and he couldn't do something like that. He couldn't ruin Sasuke's life- the boy was barely even twelve!

But he had a feeling he was ruining his life by sending him such mixed signals. Itachi groaned to himself. Why did things have to be so difficult? Why couldn't he and Sasuke have fallen in love like everyone else? Itachi could have grown up and married Konan and had a family, and Sasuke could have found a boyfriend and grown up and married him and raised a family as well. But no, they just  _had_ to fall in love with each other. Nothing could have just happened like it was supposed to.

It was the sound of the door being unlocked and opened that broke Itachi out of his thoughts.

"Taidama!"

"Okaeri," he responded quietly.

Mikoto and Tsunade soon appeared in the living room.

"Where's Sasuke?" Mikoto asked, a slightly worried tone to her voice.

"He probably locked himself up in his room," Itachi said. "We had an…argument of sorts."

Mikoto's face fell. "About what, dear?"

"Nothing important," Itachi lied. "But you know how he is."

Mikoto nodded in agreement.

"Hey, Mikoto?"

The lady raven turned to face Tsunade.

"I could try to talk to him…I don't specialize in dealing with children, but maybe I could help." Tsunade said. Mikoto smiled a bit.

"Are you sure? You don't have to. You know that he can be quite a handful."

Tsunade nodded with a sad smile.

"I want to help," she said.

"Well," Mikoto began. "Do you remember where his room is?"

Tsunade nodded, and leant in to peck Mikoto lightly on the lips. The lady raven immediately began blushing and both Tsunade and Itachi had to stifle a chuckle.

"I'll be back in a few," the blonde woman said as she made her way towards the stairs. She climbed them quickly, and soon found herself outside the young raven's room. She knocked twice.

"Go away, jerk."

Tsunade huffed and knocked once more.

"It's me, Tsunade. Open up, kid."

"Go away, granny."

Tsunade's eyebrow began twitching a bit.

"C'mon, kid. I'm here to help."

To her surprise, she heard the lock click, which meant that Sasuke had actually unlocked the door. She turned the knob quickly, and stepped inside. The room was extremely dark, which caused worry to cross over her features. What was the kid doing sitting in the dark, anyway?

"You got a light in here?" She asked. There was the sound of Sasuke moving around, and then the light switched on. She squinted her eyes for a moment, waiting for them to adjust, and then she caught sight of Sasuke huddled up against the wall in the corner of his bed with his knees to his chest. Her features softened. Even from here, she could tell the kid had been crying his eyes out.

"Hey," she began while making her way over to his bed and sitting down. "What happened between you and Itachi? He said you guys had an argument."

Sasuke scoffed.

"Yeah, that's one way to put it."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I'm a nuisance, simple as that."

Tsunade lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"A nuisance? To whom?"

"Itachi-nii, duh."

"Kid, I seriously doubt you annoy Itachi in any way. If anything, you two seem to be joined at the hip. Don't worry yourself over nothing."

"Tch. You don't know the whole story."

"And I don't have to know the whole story to see how much he cares about you. I may not know what happened between you guys, but Itachi loves you. I don't think he'd put up with you clinging to him the way you do if he didn't.

Sasuke began blushing and sputtered a bit.

"I don't  _cling_  to him!"

"Uh-huh, sure you don't," Tsunade snickered. "Now, why don't you come downstairs? I think Mikoto wanted all of us to play a board game or something."

Sasuke actually did feel a little bit better after talking to Tsunade, believe it or not. For some reason, hearing that Itachi loved him- although she undoubtedly meant it in a familial way- from someone else was reassuring. So, he followed her out of his room and downstairs.

"You actually managed to get him out of his room? Geez, you're a miracle worker," Mikoto said once they were out of earshot of Sasuke and Itachi. Tsunade simply grinned, and looped an arm around the lady raven's waist.

"I'm amazing, I know." She said.

"I'm sorry I got so mad earlier," Sasuke mumbled. He'd never been very good at apologies. "But…just, I love you a lot, okay? There's no one else I want to be with, and that's never going to change."

Itachi sighed and ruffled his baby brother's hair.

"And I'm sorry for sending such mixed messages, Sasuke. It isn't fair to you." Itachi chanced a glance up towards where his mother and Tsunade were standing, and saw their backs were turned. So, he leant in to place a chaste kiss on his baby brother's lips. Sasuke blushed a bit. His lips always tingled and his stomach always flipped whenever his brother kissed him like that.

"I promise once you're older, we can be boyfriends, alright?" Itachi said with a tiny smirk. His brother began blushing even worse at the thought of them being 'boyfriends' and Itachi found it completely adorable. Sasuke nodded his head quickly.

"Okay," he said with a tiny smile. He knew his Aniki never broke his promises.

Soon, the four of them found themselves playing some random board game on the living room floor. Tsunade was terrible at board games, which the three ravens had found out soon after they'd begun playing and she'd already lost all of her money. They played for a little while, until they got hungry once again. Mikoto excused herself to cook dinner and Tsunade followed behind her, leaving the two boys off to their own devices.

Soon, dinner was ready, and the four of them sat down to eat. It wasn't anything terribly fancy, but it tasted good nevertheless. They all chatted about random things until they were done eating. Sasuke and Itachi took care of the dishes, leaving Mikoto and Tsunade to cuddle and relax in the living room. After the boys were done cleaning up, they made their way back out and began watching whatever cheesy chick-flick the two women had decided upon. The boys didn't last very long and soon found that sleep sounded like a much better alternative.

"Aniki," Sasuke asked in his sweetest voice. "Can I  _please_  sleep in your room tonight?"

Itachi groaned, and shot a pleading look towards his mother, but she was too engrossed in whatever was happening in the movie they were watching to really pay much attention to him; that, or she was simply ignoring him and allowing him to suffer at the hands of his baby brother.

"Nii-saaaaaan," Sasuke whined pitifully while clinging to his older brother's arm. One glance at the adorable look on Sasuke's face and Itachi's resolve was quickly broken.

"Fine, fine," the elder grumbled. Sasuke beamed, and soon let go of Itachi's arm to follow his brother upstairs. "We're going to bed, Kaa-san. It was nice seeing you again, Tsunade-san. Goodnight," Itachi said with a small bow. Seeing his brother bow, Sasuke soon copied him, and then followed his brother upstairs.

"Goodnight," Mikoto said with a smile.

Once the boys were gone, Mikoto turned to face Tsunade.

"Hey, Tsunade…don't you think it's a little odd that Sasuke still wants to sleep with Itachi all the time? He just turned twelve last week, after all."

Tsunade sighed and knitted her eyebrows together. She turned her full attention towards Mikoto.

"I mean, I suppose it's good that they're so close, especially considering the abuse Itachi withstood as a child. I think it's good that he has someone he's so close to. One would never know just by being around him that he had such a traumatic childhood, which is more than I can say about a lot of others."

Mikoto nodded in agreement.

"I understand that, and I definitely agree, but I don't know…" She sighed. Call it a woman's intuition, but it had begun bugging her a bit lately. "I guess I just worry that he's smothering Itachi a bit."

Tsunade shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure Itachi would tell him if he was. Don't worry about it, Miko." She said, leaning in to place a light kiss on her forehead. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	18. Revulsion

The first week of summer vacation was rather uneventful. Sasuke spent most of his time at home or at Naruto's and Itachi spent a good portion of his days at home or with his group of friends. All too soon, it was Saturday again.

"I don't want to go," Sasuke grumbled. Mikoto sighed and ran a hand through her hair. They were parked outside of the office. They'd been there for nearly ten minutes, but Sasuke still refused to get out of the car.

"Sasuke, please," Mikoto said. "I'm sure he'll grow on you. You didn't like Kurenai at first!"

"But they're completely different!" He whined. "You haven't even met him!"

"That may be true, but I've spoken to him on the phone and he seems like a very nice, intelligent man."

"That's not the same as meeting him!"

"Sasuke," Mikoto growled, her patience wearing thin. "Get out of the car.  _Now._ "

Sasuke grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Bitch," he muttered.

"Get out of the fucking car."

Sasuke threw the door open with more force than necessary and jumped out before slamming the door as hard as he could.

Once Sasuke was out of the car, Mikoto dropped her head onto the steering wheel with a sigh. Her son was just blowing things out of proportion, right? Then why did she have such a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach? The lady raven tried her hardest to push these thoughts out of her mind. The man was a licensed professional, and undoubtedly had to pass a series of background checks to be employed there. So there was nothing to worry about. Everything Sasuke said was just a result of his overactive imagination and desire to be free of therapy for good.

…Right?

With another huge sigh, Mikoto started the car and drove off.

Sasuke quickly made his way to the room and forcefully shoved the door open. Orochimaru seemed startled at first, but then his face relaxed into its usual unnerving smile.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun. You're a few minutes late. I was beginning to get worried."

"Save it," Sasuke grumbled as he trudged over to his usual spot. He plopped down with a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest. He began glaring at the snake man, but didn't say anything else. Orochimaru made his way over to the chair across from Sasuke and sat down.

"Do you have anything you'd like to talk about today?" He asked.

Sasuke just continued to glare.

"As I said before, I really would like for us to be become friends."

Glare.

"Sasuke, it's impolite to ignore people when they're speaking to you."

_Glare._

Orochimaru's face darkened.

"Fine, Sasuke," he said as he stood from his chair. He quickly made his way over to the raven, causing the boy to lean back in his seat. He boxed him in once again, but this time, his face was much closer. "I'm sick of playing games with you."

Sasuke sneered and pushed the man away from him. He stood up swiftly, and shot the snake man his most bone-chilling glare yet.

"Just stay away from me, you creep! My mom and Nii-san might not believe me, but I know there's something off about you! Just fucking leave me alone!" He shouted, balling his fists at his sides out of anger. "I'm leaving. I don't fucking care what anyone else says! I'm done with you!"

And with that, Sasuke made his way over to the door- but he wasn't fast enough. Before he had a chance to comprehend what was happening, he was roughly thrown onto the couch and Orochimaru was looming over his much smaller frame. His hands were pinned above his head, and his shirt rode up just enough to expose a small sliver of pale stomach. Sasuke's eyes widened and he soon began to struggle once he was over the initial shock of the situation.

"Get the fuck off of me! Let me go!" He cried while wiggling and kicking the best he could in an attempt to free himself. Orochimaru simply smiled.

"Now, now, Sasuke, I can't have you leaving yet. Our session's only just begun."

And then his mouth was on Sasuke's.

Sasuke's eyes widened even more, and his struggling increased ten-fold. In an attempt to stop the boy from moving around, Orochimaru settled more of his weight on him, nearly crushing his smaller frame. Sasuke screamed into the kiss, but Orochimaru's mouth muffled it. The boy could feel bile rising in his throat as the man's tongue slithered inside his mouth. Tears of revulsion welled up in his eyes, but he stopped struggling. He just wanted it to end.

The man pulled back with a sickeningly sweet smile. Sasuke opened his mouth to scream, but before he could a hand was clamped over his mouth. Orochimaru had simply switched from holding Sasuke's wrists with both hands to one, and the fact that he could subdue the boy so easily filled Sasuke with terrible anger.

"Don't scream, Sasuke. These walls are soundproof, anyway. No one would be able to hear you, so you may as well save your breath." The force of his hand increased until it was nearly painful. "Do you promise to be quiet, Sasuke?" His tone was deadly.

The small raven nodded, tears slipping down his pale cheeks.

_This can't be happening. This is all just a nightmare, right?_

"Good boy," Orochimaru chuckled and removed his hand. Sasuke gasped a couple of times, trying to regain his breath.

"Wh-What are you going to do?" He choked out, his voice cracking just the slightest bit out of fear. He wanted to act strong, he wanted to act tough, but he couldn't. He was terrified. He knew he was completely at the mercy of this man.

"I'm going to make you feel good," Orochimaru said. He reached down and gently stroked Sasuke's bangs off of his face. "You really are a beautiful child," he murmured.

"Please don't do this," Sasuke sobbed. He felt stupid,  _weak_  for begging, but he didn't want this. He was horrified.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but I've already made up my mind. I could hardly stop thinking of you this entire week." The man leant down until his breath was tickling Sasuke's face. "I imagined you moaning and writhing in pleasure…pleasure that  _I_ caused you."

Sasuke shuddered in disgust.

_No, this can't be real._

"I promise I'll make you enjoy it…" And with that, Orochimaru leant back a bit so his hand would have easier access.

His hand slithered down Sasuke's torso to the hem of his shirt and then reached under it. That hand inched higher and higher, until Sasuke's shirt was riding up so far that one of his nipples was exposed. Orochimaru smiled once more before diving down and taking it into his mouth. Sasuke cried out, and tried to struggle again, but soon found it useless. He turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could, simply hoping that his fresh tears wouldn't spill. A small spark of  _something_  raced up Sasuke's spine, and his mouth fell open without his consent.

"Haah," Sasuke moaned. He soon clamped his mouth shut, horrified. Why had he made that noise?

Orochimaru released the pink nub and leant back to regard Sasuke. The boy was flushed and panting just the slightest bit. He looked  _edible._

"I told you I'd make you feel good," Orochimaru said smugly. "I always keep my promises."

Sasuke turned his teary gaze towards the man and tried his hardest to glare. He didn't want this. He  _couldn't_  want this.

Orochimaru chuckled at the raven's silent rebellion. He  _would_  make Sasuke feel good, whether the boy wanted it or not. He had already decided.

The snake man shifted his weight a bit so he would have access to more of the delectable boy's young body. He trailed his fingers down Sasuke's untainted skin until he reached the front of his slacks. He began rubbing the heel of his palm in circular motions over the boy's crotch. Sasuke's eyes widened and he once again tried to wiggle away, but Orochimaru's near bruising grip on his wrists wouldn't allow it.

"Please…stop," Sasuke choked, tears streaming down his face without his consent. "Please don't touch me like this."

"Be quiet, Sasuke. Enjoy it."

Orochimaru increased the pressure of his hand over Sasuke's crotch until he finally got the reaction he was hoping for; another moan, and a wonderful one at that.

Sasuke clamped his mouth shut again. Why was his body reacting like this? This wasn't what he wanted! The only person he wanted to touch him like this was Itachi- no one else, and especially not this creepy man.

His body was betraying him.

Orochimaru smirked as he felt hardness blossoming under his palm. He soon removed his hand, only to unclasp the front of Sasuke's pants and shove his hand inside. He grasped the boy's half-erect length and began stroking harshly.

Sasuke threw his head back and loudly moaned. No one had ever touched him like this except for himself, and even if he was completely disgusted by the person doing it, being touched by another hand undoubtedly felt good.

"S-Stop," he said weakly. "Please…stop."

Orochimaru's only response was to increase the speed of his hand until Sasuke couldn't even think clearly. The boy tried to keep his noises in- really, he did- but it was an impossible feat. This man's hand was making him feel things he had never felt before- things he never even knew he  _could_  feel. But that didn't change the fact that it should have been _Itachi's_  hand touching him like this, making him feel like this…

With the thought of his brother in mind, Sasuke came. He mewled and arched his back slightly which caused Orochimaru to grin from ear-to-ear. The boy could never deny that he enjoyed it now. He would be lying to himself if he did.

Sasuke panted harshly, his chest rising and falling erratically. His eyes widened and new tears slipped down his cheeks as he realized just  _what_  had happened. This man had made him cum. He really had made him feel good.

The young raven's chest was wracked with sobs. He'd betrayed Itachi, the person he loved most in the world. He was disgusting.

"I see you liked that a lot, Sasuke…now it's my turn."

The boy's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Oh no, he couldn't mean he wanted him to-

"Suck me off, Sasuke. A favor for a favor."

"Like hell I will!" Sasuke spat, his voice cracking in all the wrong places. "Get the fuck off of me! You filthy, disgusting pervert!"

"My, my, look who's talking. You weren't complaining when you got my hand all messy." Orochimaru withdrew his soiled hand from Sasuke's pants and brought it up to his face to examine it. "You sure came a lot for such a young boy," he chuckled. His tongue darted out to lick up the length of each finger. He hummed at the taste, and Sasuke's face scrunched up in disgust.

"I'm an impatient man, Sasuke," the man said once his hand was thoroughly clean. "I don't take kindly to waiting, so I suggest you get to work now…unless you want to face the repercussions of your disobedient actions." His gaze turned to Sasuke, and the boy flinched back.

"Please…" He begged. Being touched was one thing, but touching another person…

Orochimaru fell back onto the other end of the couch, yanking Sasuke's arms with him. The boy fell onto his chest. He gazed up at the man, his eyes wide and pleading, but Orochimaru simply smiled in return. The man pushed Sasuke's head down so he was level with the bulge in his pants.

"Don't bite. I'd rather not have to hurt such a pretty young thing."

Sasuke shot one more pleading look towards Orochimaru, but it was ignored. The man used the hand that had been holding Sasuke's head down to unbutton his pants and pull out his arousal. The boy flinched back at the musky smell.

"Get to work." Orochimaru said, once again threading his fingers through Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke refused at first, and kept his mouth tightly shut, but a firm yank of his hair caused him to gasp in pain and Orochimaru took this opportunity to thrust himself inside.

Sasuke gagged as he was nearly choked by the man's erection and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

 _It will all be over soon, it will all be over soon,_ he repeated to himself as the man continued to bring his head down on himself. The boy cried freely now, unafraid of anyone seeing him as weak for doing so. It couldn't be helped.

Orochimaru threw his head back with a moan as he continued to move Sasuke's head. He knew he wasn't going to last long.

So, with a few more movements, he came. He moaned softly as he reached his completion, and released his hold on Sasuke's hair. The boy pulled back and moved his head to the side to spit out Orochimaru's seed, but a firm hand was clamped over his mouth, preventing him from doing so.

"Swallow it," Orochimaru said sweetly. Sasuke glared at him, trying his best to muster up all the hatred and contempt he could into that one look as he swallowed the disgusting substance. Once Orochimaru was certain he'd gotten it all down, he detached his hand from Sasuke's mouth.

The boy gasped as air once again freely entered into his lungs. He'd been convinced he was going to suffocate for a little while.

They sat in silence then. Orochimaru looked far too smug, and random tears still slipped out of Sasuke's onyx eyes. He stared at the ground with no intent of looking up.

"Our time is up for today, I'm afraid," the snake man said. "Let me walk you out. I wouldn't want anyone to worry about how… _sad_  you look."

Sasuke gritted his teeth in anger and turned his gaze towards the man.

"You sick fucking bast-"

Orochimaru pulled his head back by his hair.

"Be quiet, Sasuke. You've said enough." He said. He then stood up from the couch, dragging the boy with him. He released his hold on his hair, and Sasuke rubbed his scalp in an attempt to soothe the sting.

The man tucked himself away and rubbed a hand down his white dress-shirt, as it had gotten a little disheveled due to their activities. Sasuke buttoned up his pants, and resumed staring at the ground. He was ashamed.

The snake man made his way towards the door, opened it, and walked outside. Sasuke trailed behind him, never once looking up. He stopped when he saw the man's feet stop, but still refused to tear his eyes away from the grey carpet.

"Ah, I trust you're Itachi-kun, Sasuke-kun's older brother?"

"Yes, that is correct," Itachi replied. "Is he alright? He seems awfully upset." The elder's voice was heavy with concern.

Orochimaru chuckled.

"Don't worry about that. We just had a very…emotional session. I believe we may have made a breakthrough."

"Really?" Itachi sounded relieved. "That's great."

"Indeed it is. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Itachi-kun."

The two briefly shook hands before parting ways.

Orochimaru patted Sasuke on the back twice and then made his way back down the hallway to Kurenai's room. Itachi waited until he saw him disappear to say anything.

"Sasuke, are you really okay?" Itachi wanted to believe the man, but he couldn't deny the fact that something just didn't feel right.

Sasuke didn't look at Itachi, but nodded his head.

"I'm fine," he said, his voice much more quiet than normal. "Don't worry about me."

The elder quirked an eyebrow but said nothing more. He reached for Sasuke's hand, and was heavily surprised when Sasuke's hand pulled back from his. Sasuke reached a fist up to wipe at his eyes, and Itachi gently tilted the boy's head upwards.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked.

Sasuke nodded his head once again but wouldn't make eye contact with Itachi.

"I'm fine," he lied.

That was the first day they didn't hold hands while walking home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. ;-; I feel so guilty, you guys have no idea...


	19. Life Sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst.  
> Oh, and if anyone's wondering why Sasuke didn't immediately tell Itachi...he's embarrassed. Humiliated, actually. Completely ashamed; that, and he doesn't like telling people when something's wrong. Y'know? He just runs up to his room and angsts about it.

Sasuke spent the rest of the day in his room. He could barely even look at Itachi, not with all the horrible guilt he felt.

How could he have  _enjoyed_  something like that? Well, his mind didn't enjoy it, but his body certainly did. He couldn't believe that disgusting man made him cum. The thought made Sasuke shiver with revulsion. He was humiliated.

Should he have fought harder? …No, he tried his hardest. He was overwhelmed by a man much larger than himself. A man in a position of authority. A man he was supposed to be able to trust.

Sasuke sighed and buried himself deeper under his comforter. At least he felt clean now. The second he convinced Itachi to leave, he ran into the bathroom, stripped out of his clothes and jumped into the shower. He scrubbed his body until his skin felt raw. Once his body was clean, he went through almost half a tube of toothpaste just trying to get that horrible taste out of his mouth. He'd never forget it.

Sasuke hid his face in his pillow as new tears welled up in his eyes. He'd been crying for most of the day. He just felt so  _guilty._  He should have been able to stop it from happening, or at the very least, stopped his body from responding. He was disgusting.

Itachi was worried sick about his little brother. He tried his hardest to get Sasuke to tell him what was wrong, but the boy simply told him he felt sick. Sasuke suggested that Itachi go out and spend the day with friends. The older raven's concern was doubled by this. Saturdays were _their_  days. They always had been, and always would be. What was wrong with Sasuke?

It had taken some convincing, but eventually Itachi agreed to leave the house. He didn't want to, but Sasuke had practically begged him to leave and have a good day without him. Itachi hoped Sasuke would tell him what he was so upset about later, but he doubted the boy would. He never really wanted to talk about things that were bothering him.

So here Sasuke lay, alone under a pile of covers with puffy, bloodshot eyes and crippling guilt.

He'd known there was something off about Orochimaru. Why hadn't anyone listened to him?

* * *

"Itachi my man, you look more emo than usual. What's up?"

"Shut up, Deidara."

The blonde huffed and pouted. He was just trying to be a good friend!

"C'mon, Itachi; you can tell me what's bothering you, yeah."

Itachi sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"Sasuke's upset about something. Seriously upset. He practically shoved me out of the house without giving me any sort of believable explanation."

Deidara tilted his head to the side and sipped on his drink. He chewed on the straw thoughtfully.

"…You left him alone?"

Itachi glared through the cracks of his fingers.

"Yes," he hissed. "I couldn't say no to him when he looked that upset. He obviously just wanted to be by himself."

"Well, maybe you should've tried to talk to him, hm."

"You honestly think I didn't?!" Itachi seethed. God, his friend was an idiot. "I tried my hardest to get him to talk to me, but all I got were poor excuses. I decided to leave it alone."

Deidara shrugged nonchalantly, completely unaffected by Itachi's moodiness.

"What kind of excuses?"

"All he said was that he felt ill and wanted to sleep. He told me to go out and have fun without him and that he didn't want to bring me down." Itachi sighed and moved his hands onto the table in front of them. "I know something's bothering him. He didn't look right this morning after I picked him up from therapy."

"Hard session?"

"That's what his therapist said, but something felt kind of off. I doubt Sasuke would have told that man anything…not with how much he said he disliked him."

Deidara shrugged once more.

"I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready, yeah." His blue eyes darted up as Konan approached their table and he smiled at his pretty girlfriend.

"Hey, babe!" He shouted with a huge grin. The blunette smiled in return and sunk into the seat next to him. She turned her smile towards Itachi and it faltered just the slightest bit.

"Itachi-kun," she nodded. Itachi nearly winced. It still felt strange that they were back to such formalities.

"Nice to see you, Konan-chan," he replied with a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"How are you and Sasuke?"

Itachi nearly choked. He knew exactly what she was asking.

"We're fine," he said. He took pride in the fact that he kept his voice from cracking.

Her pretty eyes darkened just the slightest bit, but she smiled.

"Good to hear."

The rest of that mall outing was seriously awkward.

* * *

Sasuke tried his hardest to fall asleep, but his mind kept replaying that morning over and over in his head. The urge to self-harm was overpowering every alternative coping method Kurenai taught him. It pushed every rational though out of his head.

 _But it's been four months_ , he thought to himself.

… _Fuck it._

He reached his hand down quickly and dug his nails into his flesh as hard as he could. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried out as he clawed at his skin, but didn't stop. He deserved the pain.

He continued to scratch and scratch until he felt skin building up under his fingernails. It grossed him out, but got him to stop. Breathing heavily and sweating a bit, he glanced down at his wrist. He winced as he saw the multiple red gashes littering his pale skin. They were bleeding a little, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

He felt a little bit better.

Sasuke found sleep soon after that, the slight sting almost like a lullaby to the hurting boy. He didn't dream, for which he was thankful.

He was woken up by his hair being played with, and he opened his eyes slowly.

"Hey," Itachi whispered, his voice comforting in itself. "Are you feeling any better?"

Whether he meant emotionally or physically was a mystery to Sasuke, but he nodded his head. He knew he'd worried Itachi, and he felt horrible about that, but his guilt was only intensified when in the presence of his big brother. It was like a constant reminder of his betrayal.

"Yeah," he whispered back. "Sorry for worrying you."

Itachi's face fell. "You didn't do anything wrong."

_I did everything wrong._

"I just wish you wouldn't lie to me. I know you're upset about something."

Sasuke sighed.

"It's nothing. Please don't worry." He stared at the ground as he said this. He still couldn't look Itachi in the eye.

Itachi leant forward and pressed a small kiss on Sasuke's forehead, causing the boy to wince. Luckily, Itachi didn't notice this.

"Dinner will be ready soon. Are you up to eating?"

Sasuke considered this for a moment, then nodded his head.

"Yeah." He pushed back his covers slowly, careful to hide his scabbing wrist from Itachi's observant eyes. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed and flashed a small smile towards Itachi. The elder smiled in return and leant forward to place a chaste kiss on Sasuke's lips, but Sasuke turned his head away. The kiss fell on the younger's cheek.

Itachi's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but before he had a chance to question Sasuke, the boy stood up. He quickly closed the distance between his bed and the door and disappeared out of it. Sighing, Itachi stood from his place kneeling next to Sasuke's bed and followed after him.

They made their way downstairs quickly and sat at the table. Mikoto smiled softly at each of her boys as she set plates in front of them.

"So," she began, "how were your days today?"

Sasuke shrugged and kept his eyes trained on the plate of food in front of him. His stomach churned when he thought of the last  _thing_  he'd been forced to eat, but he picked up his chopsticks anyway. He took small bites.

Itachi sighed and shot a meaningful glance towards their mother. They hadn't had a chance to discuss anything since Itachi had only gotten home around fifteen minutes ago, but he hoped that look conveyed enough. They needed to talk later.

Mikoto sat down at her seat and began eating.

"So I'm guessing today didn't go that well?"

Sasuke shrugged once more and continued staring at his plate. Itachi nearly groaned.

"Apparently Sasuke felt sick and didn't feel like going anywhere today. I hung out with Deidara and Konan." He said.

"Ouch. That must have been a bit awkward."

Itachi simply shrugged.

"Oh!" Mikoto said, turning towards Sasuke. "Do you have a fever, dear?"

Sasuke shook his head, never once looking up.

"I was just tired. I slept for a good part of the day."

Mikoto tilted her head, worry painted across her pretty face. He was upset about something.

"You sure that's it?"

Sasuke nodded and took another small bite.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Well how was therapy?"

Sasuke froze with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, but shrugged it off.

"Fine."

Itachi and Mikoto exchanged another look.

The rest of dinner was silent and soon Sasuke was finished with his food. He was the first one finished that night and quietly excused himself and made his way back up to his room.

"Okay," Mikoto began once she was sure her youngest was out of earshot. "What's wrong with him?"

Itachi shrugged and set his chopsticks down.

"I don't know. He won't tell me anything. He was fine before therapy."

"Really? That's kind of odd…"

Itachi nodded in confirmation.

"I know. Orochimaru-san came out to meet me, though, and said they had an…'emotional' session. I'm not sure if I believe that."

"Why would he have opened up to him? He said he hated the guy."

"My thoughts exactly," Itachi said with a sigh. "Something's wrong."

"I'll call him tomorrow," Mikoto said.

Itachi nodded.

Something just wasn't right.

* * *

Sasuke didn't ask to sleep in Itachi's room that night. Why would he? He just wanted to be alone. Itachi didn't deserve such a terrible baby brother.

Sasuke curled into fetal position and squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to keep his tears at bay. They apparently had other ideas and slipped out without his consent. He sighed.

He was up for over half the night alternating between tossing-and-turning and crying. He was heavily surprised that he hadn't already run out of tears, but didn't give much more thought to it. He didn't find sleep until the first rays of sunlight peeked through his blinds.

He dreamt of hands touching him, violating him, over and over and over. He was tied up and gagged in a room with no light, and no amount of muffled screaming or crying helped him. He was stuck again.

The boy awoke with a start. He was covered in sweat and could hardly catch his breath. He grimaced when he realized that although his dream may have been different, the same basic thing had happened in reality. He almost wanted to die.

Almost.

But for now he was happy with just distracting himself. He dragged himself out of bed, his body aching from lack of sleep. He glanced at his clock at was surprised to find how late it was. Itachi had already left for therapy.

After grabbing a change of clothes, the small raven trudged towards the bathroom. Once there, he regarded himself in the mirror.

He looked completely exhausted. He could almost rival Itachi for bags under his eyes. Sasuke sighed and reached for his toothbrush. He wet it then squeezed some toothpaste on it and got to work on brushing his teeth. He finished quickly and spat into the sink. He filled the cup he kept next to it with water and rinsed his mouth before spitting it out.

He stripped himself out of his boxers, throwing them onto the ground, and stepped into the shower. He turned it on, squealing the manliest squeal one could imagine as the cold water hit his bare body, and then made quick work of rinsing himself. He shut off the shower and stepped out. He then grabbed a towel and quickly dried his hair and body. His hair resumed its normal rebellious spikiness without him needing to style it, so that eliminated a chore in the morning. He dressed quickly then made his way downstairs. He knew his mother was probably out running some errands or something while Itachi was at therapy, so that gave him the house to himself for a while.

He opened the fridge and raked his eyes over its contents. He grimaced. Nothing sounded good at the moment. He shut the door quickly and made his way into the living room, dragging his feet the whole way. He unceremoniously plopped onto the couch, sprawling out once his back hit the soft cushions.

 _Life sucks_ , he thought as he blankly stared at the ceiling. He didn't know what to do. He hated everything at the moment, but most of all, he hated himself. He didn't even want to think of what would happen the next time he had to go to therapy. But what good would begging do? His mother and older brother obviously didn't believe him. He'd just have to suck it up for ten more sessions.

_Yeah, life sucks._

Sasuke draped an arm over his eyes and sighed deeply. He didn't even move when he heard the door open and close. He heard soft footsteps leading up to the living room, but stayed still.

"Oh, Sasuke, you're up early."

He shrugged, still not moving his arm.

"I had trouble sleeping last night."

Now Sasuke couldn't see it, but Mikoto's face scrunched up with worry.

"Honey, do you need to go to a doctor?"

Sasuke shook his head and finally moved his arm a bit. Mikoto nearly gasped once she caught sight of the look in Sasuke's eyes.

He looked exactly like Itachi all those years ago.

"Honey," she began, her voice shaking slightly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Sasuke's face darkened.

"Why should I? You guys never believe me."

And with that, he stood up and left the room, leaving a horribly worried Mikoto behind.

* * *

Sasuke went to Naruto's later that day. Mikoto had agreed to drive him in hopes of his best friend being able to improve his mood.

"What's wrong with you, Teme?" Naruto asked, his tone much more worried than usual. Sasuke had been acting off all day and it was seriously beginning to freak Naruto out. He almost seemed dead. "What happened?"

Sasuke shrugged and pressed a couple random buttons on his game controller. Even when he wasn't really trying, he was still better than Naruto at video games.

"Nothing important, Dobe," he muttered, his tone emotionless. He continued to stare lifelessly at the jumping characters on the screen.

Naruto paused the game and turned to face the raven.

"Dude, what the hell is wrong? Did something happen between you and Itachi?"

"Not exactly," Sasuke muttered.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I said it's nothing important."

"Stop being a bastard and tell me."

"Stop being a pushy little bitch and mind your own fucking business."

Naruto gaped. Sasuke was an asshole by nature, but that was pushing it.

"Dude…"

Sasuke threw the game controller on the ground and stood.

"I'm going home," he said. He shot a glare towards Naruto and left the room without another word. He knew he'd have to walk home, but luckily it was only fifteen minutes or so. He'd manage.

He walked quickly and made it home in no time flat. He kicked off his shoes at the door and walked briskly past Mikoto and Itachi who were reclined on the couch in the living room.

"Sasuke? You're home early," Mikoto said with surprise. Sasuke ignored her and trudged up to his room.

Fuck parents. Fuck brothers. Fuck friends.

Fuck everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading c: Oh, I don't know if anyone would question this or not, but Itachi and Konan are friends, as I've stated in some previous chapter(?), but they have that sort of awkward post-break-up-friendship-thing. Yeah. One of those. Those lovely little things.


	20. Kitchen Knives & Teary Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you guys mind checking out 'Depravity?' ...Well, if you can stomach it. xD Please and thank <3

Sasuke barely left his room the entire week.

It was summer vacation and normally Sasuke would be out spending time with friends and enjoying his time off, but he just didn't have it in him to get out of bed most days. Mikoto and Itachi were worried sick.

Mikoto called Orochimaru and spoke to him about Sasuke's antisocial and depressed behavior. The man simply told her the same thing he told Itachi, though she didn't buy it. Something about his tone was far too smug for her liking. He gave her a bad vibe, and his half-assed explanation didn't give her any closure. Sasuke just wasn't himself. Why would the aftermath of an 'emotional' session carry over an entire week?

She almost didn't want Sasuke to go back, but the man had told her that he'd try to help Sasuke feel better. She was hesitant, but agreed. Hell, maybe the man  _was_ telling the truth.

When Saturday came, Sasuke didn't even object to going. He didn't say anything at all, for that matter. He barely said a word to both Mikoto and Itachi the entire week, and was completely silent on the car ride Saturday morning. He just stared out the window with an eerily blank expression. It was almost as though he wasn't fully there.

"Honey?" Mikoto said once they were parked outside the office. "Have a good day today, okay? I love you."

Sasuke nodded and pushed the door open. He shut it lightly then ascended the front steps. His movements were completely robotic. He felt like a zombie.

He barely slept at all the past week due to fear of nightmares. He was completely exhausted. He scratched himself everyday now, although it barely even helped anymore. He just felt numb to everything. Nothing mattered.

With a small, barely audible sigh, he pushed the door open.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun; it's good to see you."

Sasuke shifted his eyes towards the man sitting in the corner, his face completely blank. The man smiled and stood from his chair.

"I hear you're worrying your mother," he said as he took measured steps toward the boy. Sasuke shrugged and began staring at the ground. Once he reached the boy, Orochimaru jerked Sasuke's chin upwards. "I don't think it's nice to make people worry, Sasuke," he hissed, his friendly smile now completely erased.

Sasuke's emotionless face didn't crack.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Orochimaru lifted an eyebrow. What happened to the feisty little thing he met two weeks ago? Oh well. This just made things easier. He smiled once more.

"Well, I think we should get on with today's session," he said. He shut the door and locked it then motioned for Sasuke to take a seat on the couch. The boy wordlessly obeyed.

"Can we not…do  _that_ again?" Sasuke said, his voice barely above a whisper. He knew it was pointless to ask, but some part of him still hoped the man would show mercy.

Orochimaru chuckled. "I'm sorry Sasuke," he said. "I do promise that today will feel even better, though…for both of us."

Sasuke grimaced; his first show of emotion since he'd gotten there. Just what was that pervert planning?

"Take off your clothes."

Sasuke's eyes widened and his head jerked upwards, his mouth slightly agape.

"I-I…I don't want to," he said. "Please don't make me!"

Orochimaru's face darkened.

"Get naked," he said, his tone a warning in itself. Sasuke's eyes began tearing up. Why was this happening to him?

He stood up slowly and lifted his shirt above his head. He kept his eyes trained on the ground the entire time. He didn't want to see the look on Orochimaru's face as inch after inch of creamy skin was revealed to his perverted eyes.

Sasuke tossed his blue shirt onto the couch, but made no move to take off more of his clothes. This angered Orochimaru.

"I meant all of them."

Sasuke shot one more pleading look at Orochimaru, but it was ignored. With a choked sigh, he unbuttoned his pants and shimmied out of them. He was left in only his boxers.

"Those too."

Tears began slipping down his face then, but he tried his hardest to ignore them. Once the last article of clothing was gone, he bowed his head in shame. His hands inched closer to his crotch in an attempt to cover it, but Orochimaru caught his hands and moved them away.

"Beautiful," he breathed. Sasuke cried harder. "Shh, don't cry, Sasuke. I'll make you feel even better than last time, I promise."

Sasuke shook his head.

"Please don't do this," he begged. Orochimaru chuckled and leant down to lick the tears off Sasuke's young face.

"Lay down."

Sasuke did as he was told, his vision blurred by tears. Orochimaru settled himself between Sasuke's legs with a devious smirk.

"Now, we're going to try something different today, Sasuke."

Sasuke's wide eyes shot down towards Orochimaru.

_Different?_

The man reached two fingers up towards his mouth.

"Suck on them," he said. Sasuke looked at him as though he was crazy. Orochimaru sighed in annoyance. "Do it, brat."

Sasuke reluctantly opened his mouth to let the man's fingers through. He tried his hardest to suck on them, but they really didn't taste very good. Who knew where they'd been?

Orochimaru soon removed the pale digits from the boy's mouth and moved them downwards. He began massaging one of Sasuke's cheeks, spreading it, and then probing around Sasuke's entrance. Sasuke jumped a little in surprise.

"Wh-What the hell are you doing?!"

"Shut up, Sasuke."

Orochimaru shoved one finger in to the knuckle. Sasuke cried out in surprise. Why was he touching him  _there?_

Orochimaru began thrusting the digit in and out of Sasuke's entrance, moaning a little at the tight heat encasing his finger. He did this until he felt the boy was loose enough and added a second. Sasuke cried out again, but this time it was more from pain than surprise. He gritted his teeth. How was this supposed to feel  _good?_

But he was glad it hurt this time. Maybe he wouldn't feel as guilty once it was all over.

All thoughts were erased once Orochimaru hit  _something_  inside him.

"Haah," he moaned.

_What the hell was that?_

Orochimaru chuckled and began aiming for that spot over and over again. Sasuke couldn't hold in any of his noises, though he bit his lip to the point of bleeding in a failed attempt to stay silent. Why did that feel so  _good?_

It wasn't long until Sasuke was completely hard. He was panting heavily, his face flushed with arousal.

"S-Stop," he pleaded. He didn't want this to feel good!

The man grinned at him.

"Enjoy it."

And then Orochimaru swallowed him whole and continued to abuse his prostate with his fingers. Sasuke cried out, arching his back as he came harder than he ever had before in his life, and Orochimaru swallowed every drop. Once Sasuke was completely spent, he slumped back onto the couch.

His eyes once again burned with tears.

Orochimaru detached himself from Sasuke's length and removed his fingers with a huge smile.

"Feel good, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke grimaced. He was rubbing it in his face.

Orochimaru was unaffected by the boy's silence. His grin only grew bigger.

"I believe it's my turn."

Sasuke's watery eyes widened.  _Not this again. Please, anything but this!_

"Sit up, Sasuke."

The boy did as he was told, albeit reluctantly. Orochimaru unzipped the front of his pants and pulled out his pale, veiny erection. Sasuke nearly gagged at the thought of taking it into his mouth once again. It tasted awful.

"I want you to do it a little differently this time, Sasuke. But as I said before, don't bite." A harsh tug to Sasuke's hair was all the warning Sasuke truly needed. He wouldn't bite. Who knew what this man was capable of if he disobeyed?

Orochimaru nudged at Sasuke's lips with the head of his erection, but the boy's mouth stayed shut. The snake man tugged harshly at Sasuke's hair once more.

"Open up, brat," he hissed. "I don't think you want to see me angry."

Tears slipped down Sasuke's face as he opened his mouth.

"Good boy," Orochimaru chuckled. "Now, I want you to lick it."

Sasuke scrunched up his eyebrows in defiance and threw his best glare at Orochimaru; although, it wasn't very menacing due to his tear-streaked face.

"Do it, Sasuke. I won't hesitate to punish you."

Not truly wanting to find out what sort of punishment Orochimaru had in mind, Sasuke stuck his tongue out and licked at the head. He flinched a little as the bitter and salty taste of pre-cum hit his tongue.

"Don't be shy, Sasuke. Lick up and down."

Sasuke shuddered in disgust, but did as he was told. He licked up the entire length of Orochimaru's manhood and once again tongued at the tip. Orochimaru moaned.

"Good," he said, his voice slightly shaky. "Now take it all in."

He was crying so hard now that he could hardly see what he was doing, but obeyed. He moved up and down the man's erection the best he could, refusing the urge to vomit. It seemed like an eternity until the man finally came. Once he did, Sasuke turned to the side to try and spit out his seed, but like last time, a hand was clamped over his mouth. He swallowed.

With a chuckle, Orochimaru removed the hand. Sasuke gasped a couple of times.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Sasuke staring intently at the ground and Orochimaru far too happy with himself.

"I think we made some progress today, Sasuke. I can't wait until next time." Orochimaru said.

Sasuke glared at the despicable man.

"I hate you," he seethed.

Orochimaru grabbed him by the chin and pulled him until they were practically sharing the same breath.

"Listen, Sasuke," he began. "You better start acting better at home. We wouldn't want your mother or bother to get suspicious, now would we?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Good boy," Orochimaru smiled. "Now get dressed."

Sasuke quickly got up and dressed himself, careful to make sure nothing looked out of the ordinary. Orochimaru tucked himself away and zipped up his pants.

"Today was fun," he said. "Have a good week, Sasuke-kun." He patted the boy on the back.

Sasuke wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands and left the room.

* * *

Sasuke didn't say a word to Itachi as they walked home. Itachi tried his hardest to start some sort of conversation with his baby brother, but the boy refused to utter a single word.

"Sasuke," Itachi pleaded, "please talk to me."

Sasuke glanced up and him- still not meeting his eyes- and shrugged before staring at the ground once more. Itachi sighed and tried to reach for Sasuke's hand, but he jerked it away.

Itachi felt like he was going to be sick.

"Sasuke…"

The boy sped up his pace until he was walking slightly in front of his older brother.

Once they finally got home, Sasuke wasted no time in running upstairs to the bathroom. He wet his toothbrush and squeezed as much toothpaste as possible on it and scrubbed his mouth clean. After he was sure his mouth was at least somewhat disinfected, he hastily ripped off all of his clothes and jumped into the shower.

His tears mixed with the water.

* * *

Itachi was so worried he couldn't even focus on anything else. What was wrong with Sasuke? Was he alright? Did something bad happen? Why wouldn't he talk to him?

Itachi covered his eyes and sunk down onto his bed. His head jerked up, however, when he heard the shower turn on. What was Sasuke doing taking a shower at this time? Didn't he already take one this morning?

Too many weird things were happening lately.

Sasuke never asked to sleep with his aniki anymore. Hell, Sasuke never even left his own  _room_ anymore. He looked exhausted, despite spending his entire days in bed, and he didn't eat as much as he used to, either. He barely even spoke to Itachi or their mother and when he did, it was short, clipped responses. He wouldn't even take any of Naruto's phone calls or accept any invitations to hang out with him.

_What the hell is wrong with Sasuke?_

* * *

Sasuke refused to eat dinner that night. He covered himself in blankets and stayed in bed from early afternoon to late evening. His mother and brother came in to check on him multiple times throughout the day, seeing as he hadn't even bothered to lock the door, but he just told them that he felt sick.

"Please come downstairs and eat something, Sasuke," Mikoto pleaded for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "We're so worried."

"Go away," Sasuke hissed from under his mountain of blankets.

And that was all the response Mikoto got.

Sighing, she shut the door lightly with tears in her eyes. She didn't know what she could possibly do to make her son feel better, and it was beginning to eat away at the poor woman.

She whipped her cell phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts. Kurenai had emailed her and told her to call her if anything seemed out of the ordinary with Sasuke. Well, now was as good a time as ever. She really should have done this sooner, but she was hoping his session with Orochimaru would have produced a better result.

Mikoto pressed call and held the phone up to her ear. Kurenai answered on the fourth ring.

"Mikoto-san? Is everything alright?"

"Please help us."

* * *

It was another sleepless night for Sasuke. He felt completely weighed down, guilty, hollow, worthless, disgusting,  _empty._

He just wanted to feel better. Scratching didn't help anymore. Crying didn't help anymore.

Sighing hugely, Sasuke pushed the covers off him and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He knew of  _one thing_  that could  _possibly_ help. He tiptoed out of his room and down the stairs as quietly as he could. Itachi was already in bed, and he heard his mom talking softly to someone on the phone in her room, but didn't give it much thought. He would be back upstairs before anyone came in to check on him again.

He flipped on the light once he reached the kitchen, his eyes searching frantically for his goal. He smiled weakly once he found it.

A knife.

It had been a long while since he resorted to using one of these, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He pattered over to the knife rack and chose a medium-sized one. He pulled it out and gazed affectionately at the gleaming metal. This would help.

He slid the knife into the side of the waistband of his boxers and made his way back upstairs. Once in his room, he locked the door behind him and pulled it out.

He just stared at it for a while, thinking. He brought his wrist up to his face and looked at the numerous marks littering his skin, although it was difficult to make out much in the dark. They stopped halfway up his arm. Some of them were scabbed over, some only partially, and others were still new. He was sure to clean them every day for fear of infection, but he was never prone to getting those and didn't worry too much about that.

He sighed.

 _This will help,_  he reminded himself. It just  _had_  to. He had no other options left.

He was lifeless. He felt numb. He just needed to feel s _omething_.

With this in mind, he made his way over to his bed and sat down. He switched on the bedside lamp, the soft yellow glow almost eerie when it glinted off the knife.

He ran it lightly down his arm at first, not applying any pressure, just watching. He pulled the knife away once more, and with a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut and cut down his arm.

He didn't cut across, no; he cut the length of his arm down to the bend of his elbow. He couldn't help but cry out- it had hurt more than he expected. When he finally opened his eyes, he was surprised to find that blood was running freely from the deep gash.

He began to panic a little.

_This is really bad._

It wouldn't stop bleeding.

Breathing heavily, he placed the now-bloody knife down on the bed next to him, not even caring that it would likely stain his sheets. The cut continued to bleed until it started to drip off his arm and onto his body. It just wouldn't let up.

He bit his lip. He didn't mean to cut himself this badly!

The gash continued bleeding liberally with no intention of stopping, and he was surprised to find himself feeling a little bit dizzy. His breathing became shallow as his vision blurred a bit.

There was a knock at his door.

"Sasuke? Why did you scream?"

It was his mom.

"N…No reason," he slurred. He brought another hand up to hold his head. Why was he so dizzy?

"Sasuke?" Her voice was high-pitched with worry. "Sasuke, are you okay?" She jiggled the doorknob. "Honey, please unlock the door!"

Sasuke smiled. His whole body just felt…nice; kind of like he was floating. He didn't even notice or care that he fell back onto his bed. He just smiled at the ceiling as his vision darkened around the edges.

The area around his arm was quickly drenched with blood.

"Sasuke?!" It was Itachi's voice this time. There was the sound of the doorknob being tinkered with; Itachi was undoubtedly picking the lock. The door swung open, allowing light from the hallway to filter into the dimly-lit room.

The last thing Sasuke heard before he blacked out was his mother screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! By the way, if you're just a lurker, would you mind dropping a comment? Feedback is always nice...as long as the actual feedback is, well, nice xD Ignore me. I am sleep deprived.


	21. Blameless

_White._

_Why is everything white?_

_Why does my head hurt so badly?_

_Wait…where am I?_

_What happened?_

_…Am I dead?_

_What's that beeping noise?_

_Why am I so warm?_

Sasuke squinted his eyes in an attempt to make out his surroundings. His head was pounding like crazy and his whole body hurt, but the worst pain he felt seemed to be concentrated in his left arm. He glanced down and saw it was completely bandaged up from his wrist to his elbow.

A small groan next to him diverted his attention away from his bandaged appendage. So, that was the source of the warmth.

Itachi was curled up next to Sasuke on the small hospital bed, his fingers laced through his baby brother's. Sasuke just looked at him for a bit, wondering if he should wake him or not. How long had he been here, anyway?

"Nii-san," Sasuke whispered. He removed his hand from Itachi's and lightly shook the elder. Itachi's eyes opened slowly at first and were unfocused, but when they focused on Sasuke they jolted completely open.

"Sasuke!"

Itachi wrapped his arms around his baby brother and pulled him close to his chest. Sasuke's eyes widened with surprise.

"Otouto," Itachi said, his voice shaking slightly. "I was so worried."

"What happened?" Sasuke asked. He winced at the sound of his voice. He sounded like death.

"You almost died," Itachi murmured as he pulled back so he was face-to-face with his little brother. He leant in and began kissing every part of Sasuke's face he could. He softly kissed his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, then his lips. Sasuke didn't even have a chance to reject Itachi's affections because then he was pulled to his big brother's chest again.

"I love you so much, Sasuke," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love you so, so much. I was so scared."

Sasuke was overwhelmed by guilt. How much stress and worry had he caused his family?

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I…I didn't mean to-"

"Sh, don't apologize," Itachi said. He brought a hand up to play with Sasuke's hair. "Just focus on getting better."

They laid in silence for a while, Itachi gently playing with his baby brother's hair and Sasuke powerless to resist. The only sounds were the beeping of the heart monitor and their soft breathing, and it was more than soothing. Sasuke wouldn't have let his brother hold him like this if it were any other time, but he could tell they both needed it after such a fright.

"Ah, I see you're finally awake."

Sasuke looked towards the door. A kind-looking woman with black hair stood there holding a clipboard.

"I'm Shizune," she said with a small smile. "You gave your family quite a scare."

Sasuke scowled and snuggled closer to Itachi.

"I didn't mean to," he mumbled. Her face softened and she pattered over to the chair next to the bed.

"Itachi-kun? Is it alright if I talk to Sasuke-kun by himself for a little while?"

Itachi nodded.

"Of course." He moved to get off the bed, and Sasuke felt himself panic. The younger raven gripped on to him for dear life.

"N-No! Stay, please." He gazed up at his brother with wide, pleading eyes. He didn't want to be alone in a place like this! Itachi sighed and looked towards Shizune.

"Is it alright if I stay?"

Shizune nodded.

"If it's alright with Sasuke, then of course."

Relief flooded Sasuke's features as Itachi settled back onto the bed. Sasuke shifted his body so his back was against his brother's front; that way he could face the woman as she spoke to him. Itachi's arm looped back around him and Sasuke would be lying if he said it wasn't comforting. This place was making him nervous, so he was more than happy for his brother's company- even if he still felt horribly guilty.

"Alright," she began. "I have some questions to ask you about the incident."

Sasuke's face scrunched up.

"Like?"

Shizune sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Were you trying to kill yourself?" She knew beating around the bush would get her nowhere.

Sasuke's eyes grew wide.

"No!" He exclaimed. "I didn't mean to cut that deep, I promise!"

Shizune nodded and jotted something down onto the paper on her clipboard.

"Why were you cutting?" She asked after a moment.

The small raven averted his eyes.

"No special reason…" He shrugged.

"Sasuke, you and I both know that isn't true," Itachi said. "You haven't been yourself all week."

Sasuke sighed. He felt guilty about worrying his family the way he undoubtedly had. That was the farthest thing from his true intention.

"I was upset…I just felt kind of numb. I wanted to feel something."

Shizune nodded and shot him a sympathetic look. She was well acquainted with cases such as these.

"Has anything particularly upsetting happened lately?"

Sasuke froze. What was he supposed to say to that? He shook his head slowly, but neither Shizune nor Itachi believed him for a second.

"Sasuke," Itachi began, "you haven't been acting like yourself since therapy last week."

The boy shrugged, causing Itachi to sigh.

"Did anything upsetting happen during therapy?" Shizune asked. It seemed like a plausible explanation.

_That's an understatement._

"No," he mumbled.

"Sasuke," Itachi pleaded. "We know something had to have happened. There's no reason to lie."

"I can't tell you."

"Yes you can," Shizune comforted.

"It's embarrassing!" Sasuke suddenly exclaimed. He clamped his mouth shut soon after. Shizune regarded him curiously.

"What happened that was embarrassing?" She asked.

Sasuke's eyes welled up with tears.

"I can't tell you," he said, his voice cracking. "Please don't make me."

"Sasuke, please," Itachi said. He was even more worried now, especially since Sasuke shook in his arms.  _What happened?_

The boy was silent for a few moments. Tears ran down his face and he stared at the ground. Should he tell them? But…wouldn't Itachi hate him?

But wouldn't Itachi hate him more if he continued to say nothing?

"He…" Sasuke began crying harder. His words were almost unintelligible due the sobs wracking his small frame. "He…he touched me." It was barely a whisper, but both of the room's other occupants heard him loud and clear.

Shizune and Itachi were silent. The elder's hold tightened considerably around Sasuke and he gritted his teeth in fury.

How had he been so blind?

After a few more moments of stunned silence, Shizune was the first to speak up.

"…You mean sexually?"

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. He was  _so_  worried that Itachi would hate him.

"I-I'm sorry, I tried to tell him to stop but he wouldn't listen and I-"

"Sasuke." It was Itachi this time. His tone was deathly furious. "What did he do to you?"

"H-He…it's embarrassing!" Sasuke exclaimed, shaking his head. "He made me get naked, and he…and he…" The boy trailed off, tears slipping out of his closed eyes.

"I'll fucking kill him." Itachi muttered. His arm tightened to the point where Sasuke could barely breathe. No one touched Sasuke.  _No one._

Shizune's face scrunched up with concern.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" She asked softly.

Sasuke shook his head harder.

"I couldn't! It's embarrassing!"

"Sasuke-kun, there's no need to be embarrassed. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should have been able to stop it," he sobbed.

"Sasuke-kun…you didn't do anything," Shizune repeated. She leant back in her chair and ran a hand through her hair once more. Why were there so many fucked-up people in the world?

"Sasuke-kun?"

The boy opened his watery eyes and waited for Shizune to continue.

"I'm going to go call your mom. She headed home for a little while to shower and get some rest, but I'm sure she'll be relieved to know you're awake. I'll be back later, alright?"

Sasuke nodded. The woman shot him a small smile and stood from her chair. She soon left the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

The two boys sat in silence after she left. Sasuke was still crying, but not from the memories. He was crying because he was convinced Itachi hated him. They were silent for a few moments. Sasuke's mind kept spewing forth horrible responses to the question burning on his tongue, but he needed to ask it. He took a shaky breath.

"…Do you hate me?"

Itachi blinked a few times.

_What?_

"Why on Earth would I hate you?"

Sasuke started crying even worse. It took him a couple moments just to settle down to the point where he could answer.

"B-Because he…he made me cum, and I-I betrayed you," he whispered. He sounded so…broken.

Itachi's heart burned with fury.

"Sasuke…" Itachi shifted so he was looming over his baby brother and Sasuke was lying on his back. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Sasuke shook his head. He wouldn't make eye contact with Itachi.

"Sasuke," Itachi repeated. "You didn't do  _anything_  wrong."

The smaller raven shook his head almost violently.

"Yes I did! I should have been able to stop my body from…from…"

"You didn't do  _anything_  wrong. Not one thing." Sasuke shook his head once more and kept his eyes directed towards the ceiling behind his brother. Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, look at me. Please."

Sasuke dragged his teary eyes slowly towards Itachi's. Once they met, Itachi smiled as reassuringly as he could.

"You didn't do anything wrong."

Itachi leant down and kissed Sasuke softly. He tried to squirm away, but the elder held him there, though he didn't use much force for fear of frightening him. Eventually, Sasuke's eyes slipped shut and he lost himself in the feeling of Itachi's soft lips carefully kneading against his own. They were nothing like Orochimaru's cold and slimy and disgusting lips. This kiss was so much sweeter.

* * *

Itachi went home later to shower and change clothes. He didn't leave the hospital for the whole two days Sasuke was unconscious. He barely even ate anything. He barely slept. The time Sasuke woke him up was actually the only time he managed to get any sleep at all.

Now that he knew the reason behind Sasuke's uncharacteristic and nearly suicidal behavior, he felt guilty- but most of all, he was enraged.

But he wasn't only enraged with Orochimaru; he was blameworthy as well. He should have recognized the way Sasuke withdrew from everything, but those painful memories of his own response were deeply buried away in the vault of his mind. He didn't want to remember how he acted back then.

That still wasn't any excuse.

So that's how he found himself walking through the doors of Sasuke's therapy office. He didn't even pause when the receptionist told him he wasn't allowed to go back there. He continued walking until he made it to Kurenai's room and didn't even wait one second before pushing it the door open.

Orochimaru looked at him curiously. He was having a civil conversation with one of Kurenai's adult patients before the teen had burst in.

Itachi's eyes nearly bore a hole in the snake man.

"Can I help you?"

Orochimaru's eyes widened as Itachi stalked over to where he was sitting. The teen leant down until his face was mere inches from the man's and his arms were boxing him in.

"If you ever even  _think_  of laying another finger on my little brother, I won't hesitate to kill you. Do you understand?"

His tone was so deathly calm it was unsettling.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Itachi-kun," Orochimaru said, carefully attempting to mask his panic. Itachi chuckled without humor.

"Don't play stupid with me. I'll fuck you up." He leant in even closer to Orochimaru with an almost sadistic smile stretching across his handsome face. "No one touches Sasuke."

"You can't be in here!"

It seemed the receptionist had finally caught up to him.

Itachi retracted his arms from around the man, his disconcerting smirk still set firmly in place.

"Have a nice day, Orochimaru-san," he said, his eyes glinting dangerously. "This may be the only one you have left."

And then he was gone. Kurenai's patient and the receptionist were equally as baffled about what had just transpired. The exchanged a look with one another before their eyes darted towards Orochimaru.

He broke out into a cold sweat.

Who knew a teenager could be so  _menacing_?

* * *

The only reason Sasuke was still alive was thanks to Kurenai. If Mikoto hadn't been on the phone with her when she found Sasuke, she wouldn't have had any idea of how to slow the bleeding. Kurenai knew how to react in emergency situations such as those and gave step-by-step instructions. Mikoto had applied pressure to the wound while Itachi called paramedics.

The boy nicked a major vein- he basically sliced right down it- and if his veins were any closer to the surface, he would have died. No medical professional would have been able to save him. He lost two pints of blood in no time flat and continued to bleed. For a boy his size- or anyone, for that matter- that wasn't good at all. He was extremely lucky just to be alive.

So there Mikoto sat, on a chair beside Sasuke's hospital bed. The boy wouldn't even look at her.

Shizune told Mikoto what Sasuke told her. The lady raven had no idea what to do with herself. She went into shock after hearing such a disturbing thing. She wasn't fully there, but she was trying; trying for Sasuke's sake.

"I'm sorry," she said for the hundredth time that afternoon. Sasuke didn't respond. He continued staring at the ground, giving his mother the silent treatment.

"What else do you want me to say?" She asked, her tone exasperated. She knew nothing she could ever say would fully ease her guilt, but she didn't want her son to hate her! She would hate herself enough for the both of them.

"Mikoto-san, Sasuke-kun?"

Mikoto's head shot up towards the door. She tried her best to smile- really, she did- but it felt half-assed even to herself.

"We have the paperwork for you. Sasuke is ready for discharge and will be assigned a new, female therapist until Kurenai-san returns."

Mikoto nodded and stood. She shot one more glance at Sasuke.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Sasuke stared at the ground.

* * *

Once Sasuke and Mikoto got home, Sasuke went straight upstairs to Itachi's room. Mikoto got to work on cooking dinner while her boys were off to their own devices. She sighed.

Sasuke hated her, at least at the moment. She didn't blame him one bit. She covered her face with her hands.

What was she supposed to do now? She really was an awful mother. Her sons were both sexually abused by people they were supposed to be able to trust, and she had it in her power to stop it before it even happened if she just paid more attention.

She was crying now and blindly reached into her pocket for her cell phone. She just needed to get out tonight. This house was going to suffocate her. She scrolled through her contacts, her vision blurred by tears, until she came across Tsunade's name. She pressed 'call' and cleared her throat.

"Hey," the woman answered. "How are you holding up?"

"Sasuke won't even look at me," she sobbed. "I just…can I stay with you tonight?"

"Of course," the woman said, her tone soothing. "Come over whenever you're ready."

"Thank you so much. I love you."

"I love you too."

Then she hung up.

She sighed, put her phone away, and got to work on whipping up a quick dinner for her sons.

* * *

Sasuke and Itachi were inseparable. Sasuke clung to Itachi for dear life, and the elder didn't blame him. He knew what it felt like to be violated in such a horrible way, even if the circumstances and details were drastically different.

When Fugaku raped Itachi, Itachi gained no pleasure whatsoever from the harsh treatment. It was torturous through and through. But as for Sasuke, Orochimaru made an attempt to bring him physical gratification which brought about a whole new type of guilt. One is incapable of controlling their body's reactions, but of course Sasuke felt as though he should have been able to.

Itachi simply held Sasuke and whispered comforting words in his ear. He told him it wasn't his fault, and though Itachi may have repeated it over a dozen times since this afternoon, he would say it as many times as necessary in order to ease his otouto's guilt.

Mikoto knocked quietly on the door before opening it. She peeked inside and was happy to see her sons snuggling together on Itachi's bed; although, that nagging thought in the back of her mind about it being odd was still there. She ignored it and simply allowed herself to be glad Sasuke wasn't being a recluse anymore.

"I'm going to stay with Tsunade tonight," she said. "Will you two be alright without me?"

Itachi nodded.

"Of course," he said. Sasuke was silent.

Mikoto nodded with a small smile.

"I made dinner for you two. It's on the stove. Just eat whenever you're ready."

"Thank you, Kaa-san."

"You're welcome. I love you guys."

"We love you too."

Mikoto shut the door softly behind her and let out the deep sigh she'd been holding in. Hopefully a night with Tsunade would be just what she needed.

* * *

The two ravens cuddled for a bit longer before the need for food became overwhelming. They wandered downstairs and ate the beef teriyaki their mother made for them before going back upstairs. Once upstairs, they got ready for bed and then went back to Itachi's room. Sasuke didn't even have to ask to sleep with his brother that night, and undoubtedly never would again. Itachi wanted nothing more than to be close to Sasuke after nearly losing him.

"Aniki?" Sasuke whispered. He was scantily clad in only his boxers- as was Itachi- and they were closely snuggled together, but this was more than comfortable for each of them. A week with hardly any contact and the scare of never being together again left both with the need for closeness.

"Hm?"

"Can I…ask something? Without you getting mad or just saying no?"

Itachi's interest was piqued by this.

"Go ahead," he said. He played with Sasuke's hair; he could tell the boy was extremely worried about his response and he wanted nothing more than to offer comfort.

Sasuke took a deep breath.

"I want to erase the memories," he began, his voice barely above a whisper.

Itachi waited patiently for him to continue.

"Will you touch me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated c:


	22. Something Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PORN.
> 
> That is all.

Itachi took a deep breath. Well, he hadn't been expecting this. He had almost expected Sasuke to be wary of doing anything sexual, but it seemed to be the opposite.

"You can just forget I said anything…" Sasuke muttered. He was getting nervous due to Itachi's silence.

Itachi felt conflicted. Would this be good for Sasuke? Replacing the memories of someone unwanted touching him…

He made up his mind.

"Lay on your back."

Sasuke jerked his head up, surprised.

"You'll do it?" He asked, his tone barely masking his excitement.

Itachi chuckled and lightly kissed Sasuke on the forehead.

"Anything for you, Sasuke."

Sasuke did as was asked of him and laid back with his arms above his head. Itachi took a deep breath to steady himself and crawled so he was looming over Sasuke. He gazed down at his little brother who looked nothing short of beautiful in the moonlight, and smiled.

"What do you want me to do to you?" He asked. He wanted Sasuke to have complete control over the situation. He would make this a wonderful experience for him.

Sasuke blushed and averted his eyes.

"I-I…I just want you to touch me," he said with a small shrug. Truthfully, he didn't care what Itachi did to him as long as it felt better than anything Orochimaru had ever done. He just wanted to forget.

Itachi nodded and leant down to kiss Sasuke. He had no fear of losing control of himself and taking advantage of Sasuke this time, so he allowed himself to enjoy it. He lost himself in the sensation of his baby brother's soft lips against his own.

He lightly licked along Sasuke's bottom lip, causing the boy to mewl quietly. Their tongues danced with each other's, and Sasuke's hands reached up to thread through Itachi's long raven tresses that were free of their usual ponytail. They continued to kiss, but soon their gentleness morphed into something much hungrier. Sasuke moaned and bucked his hips up though he gained no friction due to Itachi's position over him. He bit down on the elder's lip impatiently, causing Itachi to chuckle. He detached himself from Sasuke and gazed down at his needy and panting little brother.

"Please," Sasuke begged, "Itachi-nii."

Itachi chuckled once more and leant down to suck at Sasuke's neck. He was careful not to leave any marks, just feather-light touches that earned a chorus of beautiful gasps and mewls from Sasuke. Sasuke stretched his neck to the side to allow the elder better access and bit down on his lip as goose bumps broke out throughout his entire body. He shuddered when the elder's hot breath fanned out over the sensitive skin of his neck. Itachi soon detached himself from Sasuke's neck and moved towards his ear.

"What do you want me to do to you?" He asked once again, his voice husky with arousal.

 _But_ , he reminded himself,  _tonight is about Sasuke._

"Anything," Sasuke panted. He whined and squirmed helplessly as Itachi licked the shell of his ear. Itachi moved his hand down Sasuke's body until he could paw the obvious tent in the front of the younger's boxers. Sasuke bucked his hips as Itachi cupped his hardness and cried out loudly when Itachi began rubbing him.

"Nii-san!"

Itachi shuddered at the lustful tone of Sasuke's voice and increased the pressure of his hand. Sasuke's breathing came in short gasps and he squirmed under the elder's touch. Soon, Itachi removed his hand, nearly earning a disappointed growl from Sasuke in the process.

"Will you take off your boxers?"

Sasuke gazed up at his older brother through half-lidded, glossy eyes and nodded. He reached downwards and pushed his boxers over his hips, arching his back to help him along. Itachi helped pull them the rest of the way off and then threw them aside.

He raked his eyes over Sasuke's naked, flushed form and had to suppress a moan. God, his little brother was gorgeous.

"You're beautiful," Itachi whispered, leaning down to once again catch his brother's lips with his own. Sasuke moaned into the kiss and laced his small fingers through Itachi's hair, yanking on it. Itachi growled, causing Sasuke to shudder. He really didn't want to be the only one enjoying this…

Itachi detached his mouth from Sasuke's and trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses downwards until he reached the boy's nipples. He took one into his mouth and sucked harshly. Sasuke mewled and reached his hands down. He threaded his fingers through Itachi's hair once more in an attempt to hold his brother's wonderful mouth there.

Itachi bit down lightly on the sensitive nub and swirled his tongue around it. He brought a hand up to tweak the other one, and the noise he earned from Sasuke went straight to his groin. It was a damn good thing their mother wasn't home tonight; Sasuke was obviously going to be loud.

The thought made Itachi nearly dizzy with lust.

He released the nub, earning a pitiful whimper from the smaller raven.

"You sure you want this?"

Sasuke nodded frantically.

"Please," he breathed. "I want it so  _bad."_

Suppressing a shudder, Itachi kissed Sasuke once last time then sunk down until he was level with the boy's cock. He blew lightly on the tip, causing Sasuke to tremble and grip the sheets.

Now, Itachi had never done this for anyone before, but he'd been on the receiving end…

"Itachi!" Sasuke cried out as the elder tongued at the head. Itachi moaned at the taste. His little brother was so  _sweet._

He took more and more of the young boy's erection into his mouth until his nose was touching a small patch of hair. He swallowed around the length and Sasuke nearly screamed, fisting the sheets as tightly as he could.

"Oh God," he moaned as Itachi slowly moved up his cock. After wanting this for  _so long_ , it felt beyond amazing to have his brother touching him this way. All thoughts of Orochimaru and his sordid hands were gone from the boy's mind. All that existed was Itachi and the amazing way he was using his mouth.

The elder moved up and down on the boy's length, hollowing his cheeks to provide the best feeling possible. Sasuke was a mess of mewls and moans and screams. The boy tried to buck his hips, but Itachi lightly held him down. Sasuke didn't have it in him to protest as another hand was brought up to fondle his balls. He threw his head from side to side, moans falling from his mouth with abandon.

"Nii-san!" He practically screamed. He could feel his stomach coiling in that wonderfully familiar way. He felt his pleasure building up more and more and more and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

Itachi hummed around Sasuke's cock and sucked as hard as he could in an effort to push his brother closer to release. Sasuke's chest heaved and his breathing was harsh and fast. The two ravens locked eyes. One hard suck later and Sasuke fell off the edge.

"ITACHI!" He screamed, arching his back. He came so hard his vision went white for a moment and Itachi happily swallowed every drop. His climax nearly seemed endless, but once it was over Sasuke collapsed back onto the bed. His body felt boneless.

And he'd never been happier.

The boy smiled sleepily at Itachi. The elder detached himself from Sasuke's length and smiled in return. He slowly inched himself up Sasuke's body until he could kiss the boy. Sasuke happily opened his mouth to let Itachi's tongue in, and didn't even mind that he could taste himself. Nothing could ruin this moment.

They continued to kiss lazily for a little while until something occurred to Sasuke. He pried his lips away from the elder's, although he would have liked nothing more than to keep kissing him forever.

"Do you want me to help you?" He asked. His hand drifted down until he cupped the obvious hardness in the front of the elder's boxers. Itachi groaned and rolled his hips into Sasuke's hand, but shook his head.

"Tonight was about you, Sasuke," he said. His voice was husky with arousal and he was so hard it fucking  _hurt,_  but he didn't want to make Sasuke do anything he would be uncomfortable with. "I can take care of it myself."

He moved to get off the bed, but a firm squeeze to his groin made this rather difficult. He groaned.

"Let me help you, big brother," Sasuke said with a smug smirk. He continued to palm the bulge in Itachi's boxers with no intention of stopping. Itachi moaned lowly and shook his head once again.

"Y-You don't…have to," he panted. Sasuke's only response was to apply even  _more_  pressure.

"I want to."

Itachi moaned and nearly collapsed on top of Sasuke.

"Oh God, Sasuke," he panted. His brother's hand felt  _way_  too good.

"Can I suck you off?" Sasuke said, his tone far too innocent to be asking such a dirty thing.

He felt Itachi's cock twitch under his palm. His smirk grew even more.

"If you…really want to." Who was Itachi to refuse such a kind offer?

Sasuke brought his free hand up to push lightly on Itachi's chest.

"Sit back," he said. Itachi nodded and moved until he was sitting down. Sasuke's hand wasn't on him anymore, and with the loss of pressure he was almost tempted to try and refuse Sasuke again.

That was until he saw and  _felt_  Sasuke  _licking_  his cock through the fabric of his boxers. He threw his head back and moaned.

"Take them off, Nii-san," Sasuke said, tugging at the garment. "I can't have much fun with them in the way."

Panting, Itachi gazed down at his brother through glossy eyes and slipped his boxers over his hips. He lifted his ass off the bed to help him along, and then Sasuke got them the rest of the way off and threw them somewhere unimportant.

Sasuke gulped.

"You're so… _big,"_  he breathed, reaching out a hand to stroke him experimentally. Itachi bit his lip, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of his brother pumping him.

"You…don't have to," he said once more. Sasuke looked at him as though he was crazy.

"I already said I wanted to, Nii-san…I've wanted this for so long," he replied. He darted his cute little tongue out to lap at the head of Itachi's cock. He was surprised at the taste.

His brother tasted…good.

"You taste sweet," he said with heavy surprise. Itachi chuckled.

"So do you."

Sasuke blushed at this, causing Itachi to chuckle once again.

With a half-hearted glare, the younger took a deep breath to steady himself and took the entire head of Itachi's cock into his mouth.

"Oh fuck," Itachi gasped.

Sasuke sucked with all his might, trying to earn more of that sweetness. Itachi's fingers drifted down to play with Sasuke's hair. The younger nearly flinched at the movement, as it reminded him a bit of the last time he had done this, but everything about this time was completely different. Itachi wasn't grabbing his hair in an attempt to hurt him. Instead, he ran it through his fingers softly, gently urging Sasuke along. The smaller raven sucked with renewed fervor. He wanted to make his brother feel as good as he made him feel.

"Sasuke," Itachi moaned as the younger gently eased more and more of his cock down his throat. Sasuke didn't know a ton about  _actually_  giving blowjobs, but from what he had gathered from porn Naruto had forced him to watch and common sense he knew he should relax his throat. So, he tried his best to do this and found it wasn't all that difficult to get it over halfway in. That was his limit, though, but Itachi seemed more than happy with this.

Sasuke moved his head upwards, applying as much suction as possible the entire way, then moved back down. Itachi's breath hitched in his throat and his grip in Sasuke's hair tightened just the slightest bit, but Sasuke didn't mind. He was making his brother feel good and he knew Itachi would never hurt him.

He used his hand to pump whatever he couldn't fit in his mouth and continued to bob his head. He did this for a while until he decided to bring another hand up to tug on Itachi's balls just like he'd done for him. He felt Itachi's cock twitch almost violently in his mouth.

He gazed up at his brother with wide, innocent eyes as he continued to bob his head on his cock and Itachi thought that had to be the hottest thing he'd ever seen before in his life.

"I-I'm gonna cum," Itachi choked out. He tried to move Sasuke's head away, but the younger simply kept their eyes locked and sucked harder. Itachi's vision nearly went white as he came with a moan of his brother's name.

Sasuke happily swallowed every drop of the sweet liquid. He didn't mind doing this for his brother. He honestly hoped he'd be allowed to more often.

After he thought his brother was done, he released his cock with a lewd 'pop'. Itachi apparently wasn't done, however, and some cum splattered onto Sasuke's face.

Itachi moaned at the sight before his senses returned to him. His eyes widened.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke!" He exclaimed as he reached over to his nightstand to grab some tissues. Sasuke laughed.

"It's okay, Aniki," he said as Itachi gently wiped off his face. The elder smiled at him warmly and threw the dirty tissues into the wastebasket next to his bed.

"How do you feel?"

Sasuke tilted his head a little as he thought hard about it.

"I'm…really happy," he said, a slow smile breaking across his face. Itachi ruffled his hair and leant in to kiss him softly.

"Good," he said. Sasuke beamed at him.

Both boys soon grabbed their boxers, slipped them on and snuggled back into bed. Itachi wrapped his arms tightly around Sasuke and he happily snuggled into his Aniki's chest.

"I love you, Otouto."

"I love you too," Sasuke said with a small smile. His insides felt light and fluttery and he couldn't remember the last time everything just felt so…right.

They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated c:


	23. Having Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PORN WITH A DASH OF PLOT???

"Hey, Nii-san, wanna have some fun?"

Itachi tried his hardest to ignore Sasuke and focus on the paper he was typing. He needed to get this work done and he couldn't have any distractions. Sasuke, of course, was having none of that.

"Mom won't be home for a while. There's plenty of time for us to have  _fun."_

"I'm trying to do homework," Itachi muttered, never peeling his eyes away from the screen.

The smaller raven looped his arms around Itachi's neck and sucked at the sensitive skin of his nape. Itachi shivered and moved his neck to the side, though he really, really needed to get this work done.

"Sasuke…please stop," he said, his voice shaking. Goose bumps broke out over his entire body under Sasuke's ministrations. The younger trailed hot kisses up his neck until he reached his ear.

"Why? I can make you feel  _really_ good," Sasuke breathed. He sucked Itachi's earlobe into his mouth and bit on it lightly, causing Itachi to groan. "I know you want me."

The whole Orochimaru ordeal was long over. The man was in prison now, thanks to Sasuke's testimony, but just because he got what he deserved didn't mean that Sasuke had gotten over it. He may say he was fine, but anyone could see he wasn't…especially Itachi.

Sasuke was overly sexual. He tried his hardest to seduce his big brother every chance he had, and he wasn't just happy with foreplay anymore. Itachi could try all he wanted to resist, but it got harder and harder as time wore on. Sasuke was also over the age of consent now, and he saw no reason for Itachi to refuse him. He was fourteen, and to him, that was more than old enough to have sex.

"Aniki, come on. I'll let you fuck me."

"Sasuke," Itachi said. He was trying his hardest to keep his voice steady, but it was incredibly difficult. "I've already told you that I don't want us to have sex yet."

"Then let me suck you off," he chuckled, leaning in even closer. "I know you  _love_  it when I do."

"Sasuke…"

"Boys, I'm home!"

With a disappointed growl, Sasuke detached himself from Itachi's neck and trudged towards the kitchen. Itachi breathed a sigh of relief and slumped over onto his laptop. He was so, so glad for their mother coming home early. It was more than difficult to resist Sasuke, even more so with that slutty attitude he picked up. Itachi didn't mind doing sexual things with his brother—he loved it, to be honest—but he knew Sasuke was just trying to push down the trauma. It wasn't healthy for him to want sex as badly as he did…and Itachi really needed to get this homework done.

Mikoto walked into the room a couple moments after, a pained smile stretched across her face. She quirked an eyebrow once she saw the deflated state of her oldest.

"You alright?"

Itachi nodded and forced his body into sitting position once more. He sighed and got to work on typing his paper again.

Whatever happened to the adorable, innocent little boy his baby brother used to be?

With a sigh, he leant his head on his hand.

Itachi was in college now, but he lived at home and picked a college nearby so he could be as close to Sasuke as possible. He wanted to be with him because he loved him, of course, but also because he was worried. Sasuke's behavior only got increasingly sexual as time wore on, and he barely hung out with anyone from school anymore. He wasn't acting like a healthy, happy, 14-year-old boy should. Itachi didn't want to leave him alone. He was worried.

Mikoto could tell something was bothering Itachi, but decided to let it slide. She made her way to the kitchen and saw that Sasuke was poking around the fridge. She set the bags of groceries she was carrying on the counter and took a deep breath before facing him. She chose to ignore the way his skinny-jeans clung to him so tightly they left nothing to the imagination. She also chose to ignore the fact that his shirt was nothing but a black fishnet top. She'd gotten used to the way he dressed, and she knew there was nothing she could say or do to make him dress more modestly. She'd already tried.

"Hi, honey," she said. "How are you?"

Sasuke glared at her for a moment, but then the corners of his lips turned upwards into the most sarcastic smirk he could manage.

"Oh, I'm fine," he said, every syllable dripping venom. "No thanks to you."

And then he slammed the fridge and walked out of the kitchen, a bottle of water in hand. Mikoto slumped against the counter with a defeated sigh. Sasuke still hadn't forgiven her.

Their relationship was more strained than ever. He barely spoke to her for almost a year, but things weren't much better now that they were back on shaky 'speaking terms.' Mikoto didn't really blame him for hating her. It was all her fault, anyway. She should have believed him and saved him before it ever happened.

Mikoto started running away from things after her and Sasuke's relationship deteriorated; those things being home and Sasuke. She couldn't stand the looks he threw her way, couldn't stand the insults he hurled at her…she couldn't stand any of it. But she was trying.

With a sigh, she preheated the oven and got to work on unpacking groceries.

* * *

Dinner was ready within forty-five minutes, and as Mikoto walked out of the kitchen to tell her sons so, she was greeted by an interesting sight.

Her sons both sat on the couch. Sasuke was practically draped over Itachi and whispering something in his ear. She couldn't tell exactly what it was, but everything about her youngest's body language was extremely sexual. The way he was dressed didn't help matters, and when he started dragging his hand up Itachi's thigh, she cleared her throat to make her presence known. Sasuke didn't loosen his hold on Itachi very much, but he shot a death glare at his mother.

"Dinner is ready," she said. She glanced at Itachi's face, and he looked a bit panicked; that, or annoyed. She couldn't really tell. She turned on her heel and walked back towards the kitchen.

It wasn't like that was the first time she walked in on something a little…odd. She didn't know what to think of it, not really. Her sons were always really  _close,_  but she wouldn't allow herself to entertain thoughts of them being anything more than, well,  _siblings._ Itachi wouldn't let that happen, right? So there was nothing to worry about. But with the way Sasuke dressed and acted nowadays… She shook her head. There was no point in thinking over something so preposterous.

After a couple of minutes, Itachi and Sasuke walked into the dining room and took their usual seats at the table. She served them food, and soon they were well into their meal.

"So, how were your days today?" She asked. Itachi finished chewing and swallowed before answering.

"Mine was fine," he said. "I worked on the paper for my psychology course. It's coming along well."

Mikoto smiled warmly. She was so, so proud of Itachi. He strove to become a psychologist who specialized in childhood trauma cases. He wanted to help kids who went through the same things he did, and she couldn't have been happier for him. He was taking an awful experience and using it as a means to help others.

"That's great," she said. She turned to Sasuke, but he seemed intent on ignoring her and staring at his bowl of rice. She sighed. "And your day, Sasuke?"

He slowly dragged his gaze up, glared at her, then rolled his eyes.

"I'm just trying to make conversation," she muttered, her voice quiet.

"I've found you're not really worth talking to."

Mikoto slammed her chopsticks down on the table.

"I've tried my hardest to be nice to you, Sasuke, but I'm getting sick and tired of your attitude," she said. She tried to keep her voice calm, but anger seeped through. "You're out of control."

"Tch," Sasuke rolled his eyes with a smirk. "How the hell am I out of control?"

"Have you seen the way you dress?!" She threw her hands up, exasperated. Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward in his chair.

"And how exactly do I dress?"

"To be honest," she said, "you dress like a slut."

Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise, but then his face relaxed and he laughed a short, sarcastic laugh.

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a fucking bitch."

And with that, he stood and stormed away from the table. He hadn't even touched his food.

Itachi and Mikoto sat in silence for a couple of moments, both trying to process what just happened. Itachi wanted to say something to comfort his mother, but what could he say? He was constantly stuck in the middle of their arguments and thought it best to remain quiet. He loved both of them and hated to see them fight this way, but he'd grown used to it by now.

Mikoto sighed and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands.

"I'm leaving tonight, Itachi. I trust you and Sasuke will be fine while I'm gone?"

With a sad sigh, Itachi nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said. Mikoto shrugged.

"You haven't done anything."

They finished the rest of dinner in silence, and once they were done, Itachi cleaned up. Mikoto kissed him on the forehead and said goodnight and told him to tell Sasuke she loved him, then left. Once the kitchen was clean, Itachi headed upstairs to his room. He wasn't the least bit surprised to find Sasuke lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"You should really be more respectful," Itachi said, gently shutting the door behind him. Sasuke shrugged, never once dragging his eyes away from the ceiling.

"She doesn't deserve it."

"She's still our mother."

"Whatever."

With a small sigh, Itachi sat down next to Sasuke on his bed and ran his fingers through his brother's hair. Sasuke purred happily and leant into the touch.

"She feels terrible, you know."

"She should," Sasuke muttered.

Itachi shook his head. His brother really needed to learn to forgive people.

"She left for the night. She told me to tell you she loves you."

Sasuke immediately perked up.

"Really, she's gone?" He said, sitting up. With a slow smile breaking across his face, he crawled into his big brother's lap, straddling him. He then looped his arms around his neck. "So I can be as loud as I want?" He chuckled, his voice lower and huskier than usual. Itachi smirked.

"We're not having sex."

Sasuke wasn't the least bit deterred. "But we can do things, right? I'm  _really_  horny, big brother," he whined.

With a sigh, Itachi wrapped his arms around the smaller raven and pulled him closer. He knew Sasuke was just trying to bury his memories under the guise of being a slut—for lack of a better word—but if it helped him for the time being, Itachi would oblige.

Itachi threaded his fingers through Sasuke's short, raven hair and pulled him closer. Sasuke moaned as soon as their lips met and his eager little tongue was already trying to shove itself into Itachi's mouth. Itachi allowed the pink appendage inside and sucked on it harshly, just the way Sasuke liked it. Sasuke moaned and rolled his hips. They kissed for a few more moments, their tongues battling for dominance that Itachi easily won. Sasuke then pulled away from his big brother, his eyes already cloudy and his face flushed a beautiful scarlet.

"If you won't fuck me, will you at least finger me?" He asked with a lazy half-smirk.

"Sasuke…"

The smaller raven chuckled and leant forward to suck on Itachi's neck.

"I finger-fuck myself thinking about you all the time, but it's never good enough. Won't you show me how it's properly done, big brother?"

Itachi's breath hitched. How was he supposed to resist his little brother when he said those types of things? Sensing his victory, Sasuke climbed off Itachi, slipping his barely-there shirt over his head. He stood and unbuttoned his pants then stepped out of them. He wasn't wearing any underwear.

Itachi raked his eyes over Sasuke's naked body. Puberty had been more than kind to him so far, and Itachi honestly couldn't wait to see what he'd look like once he was older, though he couldn't help but think he was a little bit skinnier than he should have been. Sasuke smirked at the hungry look on his big brother's face and lifted his arms above his head.

"Like what you see?"

Itachi chuckled, all worries set aside for the moment. "Come here."

Sasuke smirked at the hungry look on his big brother's face and lifted his arms above his head.

"Like what you see?"

Itachi chuckled. "Come here."

Sasuke sauntered over, his hips swaying slightly. He climbed on top of his big brother with a sinfully seductive smirk stretched across his pretty face. Itachi held up two fingers in front of his lips. Sasuke didn't need any further instruction and happily let them into his mouth. He slipped his tongue through the space between his fingers and sucked on them as hard as he could. Itachi bit his lip as he watched his brother do this, every harsh suck going straight to his groin. After a couple of moments, he pulled them away.

"Are you sure about this?"

Sasuke laughed and leant in to quickly kiss Itachi.

"Just do it, Aniki," he whispered. Itachi traced his fingers lightly down Sasuke's spine, causing him to arch into the touch. He brought his other hand down to squeeze and knead Sasuke's perfect ass, and the breathy little moan he earned in return made his mind hazy with lust. He lightly traced the pucker with his index finger.

"Are you positive?"

"Please just fucking do it," Sasuke panted, clutching on to Itachi's shirt for dear life.

So Itachi slowly slid his finger in to the knuckle, and the high-pitched whine he earned was easily the most arousing thing he ever heard before in his life. He moved it in and out, slowly at first, before adding the second. His brother was obviously used to fingers up there, as his body easily accepted the intrusion. That thought made Itachi shiver.

"Ahh…" Sasuke moved his hips sensually, slowly fucking himself on Itachi's digits. "This feels  _so_  much better than when I do it…"

With a throaty chuckle, Itachi curled his fingers in an attempt to find Sasuke's sweet-spot, and when he did, he wasn't the least bit disappointed with the reaction he earned. Sasuke arched his back and moaned and tugged on Itachi's hair.

"Oh f-fuck, please,  _please_ do that again!"

With a smirk, Itachi continued to curl his fingers in that exact same way. Sasuke rode Itachi's fingers, bringing his hips down to meet every upward thrust of Itachi's pale digits.

"God…feels so fucking good," Sasuke moaned, leaning forward to bury his face in the crook of the elder's neck. "But I'm sure your cock would feel even better," he panted, his hot breath fanning over Itachi's neck.

Itachi shuddered. Sasuke was so tight and hot around his fingers…it was eating away at his self-control, as were all the noises he was making.

"Mm…why don't you just fuck me?"

"You're too…young," Itachi said, his voice husky. He was terribly hard at this point, and arousal was clouding his better judgment. He was honestly considering taking Sasuke up on his offer. After all, he had a very horny, very  _willing,_  very sexy baby brother riding his fingers…what harm would it do to just go all way? But some small shred of self-control kept him from doing so.

Sasuke cried out loudly. He could already feel his climax building and he could tell it was going to be incredible.

"I-I'm close," he gasped, leaning away and arching his back. His cock bobbed between them, and Itachi brought down his hand to fist it in time with the work of his fingers. Sasuke screamed and arched his back at a nearly impossible angle as he came.

"ITACHI!"

He froze, his mouth slack and eyes shut tight as thick ribbons of cum spurted from his cock. It seemed endless, and Itachi hardened impossibly more at the sight of Sasuke lost in the throes of pleasure. Once Sasuke finally regained the ability to breathe, he slumped forward and gripped Itachi's shirt even harder.

"That felt…fucking…amazing."

Itachi smirked and pulled his fingers from Sasuke's ass, earning a disappointed hiss in return.

"Mm, why won't you just fuck me? It's practically the same," Sasuke mumbled, placing lazy kisses on the elder's neck.

"It's the idea behind it."

"You've seen me naked countless times, I've sucked you off, I've jerked you off, you've sucked me off, you've jerked me off, now you've fingered me...you may as well just fuck me," Sasuke said. "There's no point to waiting any longer."

"No, Sasuke," Itachi said. He was really trying his hardest to hold his resolve. "Not until you're older."

"How old?" Sasuke whined, gazing up at his brother with what he hoped was his best 'fuck me' expression.

"Older," Itachi chuckled. Sasuke's face fell and he once again buried his face in the crook of Itachi's neck.

"Well, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Itachi sighed. "I…" He turned away from Sasuke. "I was fourteen."

"Hypocrite!" Sasuke exclaimed, bolting upright on Itachi's lap.

"It's different, Sasuke," Itachi mumbled.

"Why? Because I'm  _traumatized?_ " Sasuke spat. How was Itachi really any different? "That doesn't matter. I want you to take my virginity already!"

"Why can't you wait?"

"I just  _can't!"_

Sasuke detached himself from Itachi, stood, and glared at him.

"I'll make you cave," he said, once again leaning closer. He dragged his hands down the front of Itachi's shirt. "I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me  _hard."_

"Sasuke, why can't you just wait another couple of years?" Itachi's voice was strained, though he was really trying his best to hide it.

"Because. I. Can't," Sasuke hissed, carefully enunciating every syllable. Why didn't his brother get it? He  _needed_  Itachi to fuck him.

The younger raven sunk onto his knees in front of his big brother and roughly palmed the obvious bulge. Itachi's breath hitched as Sasuke unzipped his pants with his teeth, never once breaking eye contact with him. Sasuke pulled out his leaking cock and stroked it expertly.

"I  _will_  make you cave," he repeated, smirking slyly at Itachi. He leant forward and swirled his tongue around the tip of his big brother's cock, then took as much as he could into his mouth. He relaxed his throat and allowed more and more of his brother's impressive length to slip down until his nose touched Itachi's pelvis. Itachi threw his head back with a throaty moan and laced his fingers through Sasuke's hair. Sasuke quickly bobbed his head on Itachi's cock, sliding up until only the tip was left in his mouth, and then sliding all the way back down. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked as hard as he could.

"God, Sasuke."

Itachi was completely lost in pleasure. His baby brother gave good head, there was no denying that. Sasuke bobbed his head, never once slowing, for a few minutes. How he managed to do so without growing tired was a complete mystery to the elder, but he wasn't complaining. Sasuke brought a hand up to jerk Itachi off as he moved down to pay attention to his balls. He sucked one into his mouth and licked all around it. The moan he earned from Itachi was a definite treat.

Internally smirking, the younger once again paid attention to Itachi's cock. He sucked harshly on the tip, moaning as pre-cum hit his tongue, then focused on deep-throating him once again. He could tell his brother was close now by the tightening of his balls and his labored breathing, so he sped up. Itachi's grip on his spiky hair tightened impossibly as he brought Sasuke's head down to meet every thrust of his hips. Sasuke simply relaxed his throat the best he could and allowed Itachi to have his way. A couple thrusts later and Itachi came with a drawn-out moan. Sasuke happily drank up every drop of cum, and didn't release his hold until he was certain his brother was completely spent. After he detached himself from Itachi's cock, he gazed up at his flushed, sweaty, and panting older brother and smirked.

"I'll make you cave, big brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	24. A Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut this time. Awhs. ;-;

The next morning, as Sasuke left his session with Kurenai—which was hardly a session considering he didn't say more than ten words the entire hour he was there—he was surprised to find Deidara waiting with Itachi. Sasuke was pissed. Weren't Saturdays supposed to be  _their_  days? Why the hell would his brother invite someone over? He trudged over to where they sat and crossed his arms over his chest, an expectant look on his face.

"Why's he here?"

"I thought it would be nice to have someone over today," Itachi said.

Sasuke scoffed. "Saturdays are  _our_  days, Aniki." He threw a glare towards Deidara, causing the blonde to shrink back a little.

_Damn those Uchiha's and their scary eyes…_

"Uh, I can go home if I need to," Deidara said. Needless to say, he felt a little bit awkward…and intimidated.

Itachi shook his head. "You're fine." He turned his gaze back to Sasuke. "Be polite, Otouto."

Sasuke huffed and rolled his eyes. Deidara was silently thankful his bone-chilling glare was no longer projected in his direction.

"Whatever."

They left after that. Sasuke grabbed Itachi's hand and the elder didn't protest. This was something they'd been doing for years now, after all.

"So, what are we gonna do today?" Sasuke asked. He was beyond annoyed, seeing as Saturdays were their days home alone. He was hoping he could get Itachi to give in and have sex with him, but now there was a blonde cockblocker in the picture. Sasuke scowled.

"I was thinking we could go to the park," Deidara said, completely oblivious to the way Sasuke was glaring daggers at the back of his head. "I heard there was an art exhibit or something."

"That sounds nice," Itachi said. He squeezed Sasuke's hand and shot him a warning look. "Be nice," he whispered. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

The park wasn't far from Sasuke's therapist's office, so they made it there within a couple of minutes. Deidara was right about there being an art exhibit, and a big one at that. It spanned the entire expanse of the park. There were colorful booths and stands as far as the eye could see. Some venders sold paintings, some sold sculptures, and some sold jewelry, among other things. Deidara was obviously excited and walked slightly ahead of the two ravens, but Sasuke was more than happy for this.

"Why the hell did you invite him?" He whispered once he was sure the blonde was out of earshot. Not that he would have really cared if he heard him, but he knew Itachi would.

"What's wrong with having a friend over?"

"Tch. You couldn't have picked  _any_  other day?"

Itachi shrugged. "I didn't think it would be a problem." Sasuke glared at him but it was ineffective. He eventually dropped his gaze with a sigh.

They walked around for a while, though Sasuke kept trying to drag Itachi away to the bathroom for a quick make-out session. Itachi declined every offer, though, and tried to keep up with Deidara.

"Aniki! Come on!" Sasuke whined once the blonde was out of earshot once more. He leant closer and pressed himself flush against the elder's front. "Let's ditch the blondie. I think you and I should have some  _alone_  time," he whispered. He bit his lip and smirked, shooting Itachi his best 'fuck me' expression.

Itachi had to suppress a shudder. He shook his head, though it took quite a good bit of effort to refuse Sasuke like this. Damn his little brother for being so attractive. "No, Sasuke."

Sasuke visibly deflated and pushed himself away from Itachi.

"Fine, be that way," he grumbled.

He stomped off, pouting violently the whole way, until an idea hit him. He stopped in his tracks, a slow smile breaking across his face.

Oh, this could be fun.

He walked around for a little bit, just trying to find that blonde. Once he caught sight of him, he quickly made his way over. Deidara was examining an intricate sculpture of a bird. He was completely captivated and didn't even notice when the raven jogged up beside him.

"Hey, Deidara-san…"

The blonde jumped a little, then turned his wide blue eyes towards Sasuke. He grinned.

"Hey, what's up?"

Sasuke smiled as innocently as he could manage. "Nothing really," he said. "I don't really know much about art…care to explain it to me?"

Deidara seemed taken aback at first, but then his expression relaxed and he grinned again.

"Sure. Well, you see, I think art is an explosion…"

Sasuke tuned out most of what the blonde said, but nodded his head and made little noises to convey his "interest" when needed. From what he did pay attention to, he came to the conclusion that he was mildly insane.

_Damn, this guy can talk…_

Itachi walked up a couple moments later, slightly out of breath. "Otouto, I've been…" He trailed off once he saw that Sasuke was actually  _talking_  to Deidara—well, more like being talked at, but he almost seemed as though he was interested in the conversation. Itachi could already tell it was one of Deidara's infamous rants about art, so he tuned him out and instead shifted his attention back towards Sasuke. The boy looked so…captivated.

It took him a moment, but soon Deidara realized Itachi had joined them.

"Hey, Itachi," he said with a huge smile. "Your kid brother here seems interested in art, yeah."

Itachi's mouth gaped. Sasuke, interested in art? …What?

"That's…nice to hear," Itachi mumbled. He shot an incredulous look towards his baby brother, but the boy just threw him a haughty smirk. Itachi had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. That look was definitely unsettling…

As they walked around for the remainder of the afternoon, Sasuke seemed to take an odd liking to Deidara; one that left Itachi more than just a little confused. He could hardly stand him this morning. Just what was going on?

"Hey, Deidara-san," Sasuke began as they stood in front of a booth that sold abstract paintings. "I really like your hair. It's so long and pretty…can I touch it?"

Itachi lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. Deidara nodded and leant forward, allowing Sasuke to run his fingers through his hair. The boy practically purred, a slow, almost devious smirk spreading across his face.

"It's so  _soft,"_  he said, his voice just the slightest bit breathier than normal. Deidara smiled.

"Thanks, yeah!"

Itachi shook his head to ward off any unpleasant thoughts. His little brother was just acting so…odd. He never complimented people unless he wanted something from them.

They walked around some more, but then they decided to leave the park. They wandered around for a bit until they stood outside an ice cream shop. Sasuke grinned and tugged on Itachi's arm, urging him along. The elder chuckled and allowed himself to be dragged inside and Deidara followed behind. Soon, the three boys sat at a table, eating ice cream cones.

Needless to say, they were a bit messy, but this gave Sasuke the perfect opportunity to do something he  _knew_  would get him exactly what he wanted. He inwardly smirked, but kept his outward expression as innocent as possible.

"Hey, Deidara-san," Sasuke said. He shot a sideways glance towards his big brother and saw he was staring straight at them. Perfect. He turned his gaze back towards the blonde. "You got some ice cream on your fingers."

"Oh?" Deidara stopped and took a moment to shift his cone from one hand to the other. "Oh, you're right," he laughed. Then, out of the blue, Sasuke grasped Deidara's wrist and brought his fingers to his mouth. He sucked on Deidara's digits carefully, being sure to get all ice cream off. Once he was done, he released his fingers with a 'pop.'

"I wouldn't want it to go to waste," he said as he was met with Deidara's questioning stare.

"Uh…alright?" Deidara shrugged it off and returned to eating. Internally smirking, Sasuke turned to face his big brother.

Itachi glared at him so harshly he was surprised he didn't burst into flames.

"What's wrong, Nii-san?" He asked, smiling sweetly. Itachi shook his head slowly and turned away. He needed to get his temper under control and seeing that smug expression on Sasuke's face wasn't helping.

After the three finished their ice cream, they decided to part ways. Deidara apparently had a date with Konan and Itachi was thankful for this. He needed to talk to Sasuke  _alone._

"What the hell was that?" He asked as they made their way home. Sasuke shrugged, a cocky smirk pulling at his lips.

"What was what, Aniki?"

"Your obvious flirting with Deidara. I hope you know he's  _straight_  and  _engaged."_

Sasuke shrugged. "Is that so? Too bad…he's pretty cute."

Itachi could feel rage bubbling up in his chest. What the actual fuck was Sasuke getting at?

They got home soon after that. Itachi quickly unlocked the door and they made their way inside. It was with great disappointment Itachi realized that they still had the house to themselves for another three hours—more than enough time for Sasuke to try and get in his pants.

As soon as they made it into the living room, Sasuke pushed Itachi back towards the couch. He unceremoniously plopped down, Sasuke falling on top of him.

"Sorry for flirting, Aniki," he breathed, leaning down to nip and suck and Itachi's neck. "I've been a bad boy. I think you should punish me."

Itachi was stiff under Sasuke's ministrations. "You've got to be kidding me," he growled.

"Mm, come on…you can be as rough as you want."

"I already told you  _no_ ," Itachi hissed. Sasuke chuckled and moved back so he was face-to-face with the elder.

"Maybe I should just go find someone else to fuck me, then."

Itachi was completely silent, simply trying to process what Sasuke just said. What kind of a thing was that for him to say? Was that innocent, love-struck boy really  _completely_ gone?

"What's happened to you?" Itachi muttered, his tone almost disappointed. "You never would have said things like this before… What happened to not being able to see anyone like you see me? Where did that go?"

"Come on, Aniki, it's just sex. It's not like it's a big deal."

" _Just_ sex? Really, that's it?" Itachi shook his head. "You know what? I think you and I should take a break from doing anything sexual for a while."

Sasuke's jaw dropped. "Wh-What?! You can't just do that!"

"Yes, I can. It isn't healthy for you. You aren't coping well at all, Sasuke."

Sasuke practically snarled as he tore himself away from Itachi and stood. "You know what? You can fuck off. I know  _exactly w_ hat is and isn't healthy for me." Sasuke clenched his fists at his sides and gritted his teeth, his eyes flashing with rage. "Maybe I will go find someone else to fuck me—someone who won't treat me like I'm fucking breakable!" With one last glare, Sasuke stormed off.

Itachi fell back against the couch with a huge sigh. Sure, he and Sasuke had their share of fights in the past, but this one…threatening to find other people? Itachi threw his arm over his eyes. Sasuke wasn't alright, not even a tiny bit, yet he refused to even entertain the thought of him being anything less than perfectly okay. Itachi could see it, Tsunade could see it, Kurenai could see it, Mikoto could see it, yet he still refused to acknowledge it as even a remote possibility.

Sasuke needed help, more help than Kurenai or anyone else could give him. His behavior was self-destructive at best.

* * *

Sasuke brooded in his room, a normal occurrence for the boy when something was troubling him. It was a habit he practiced since he was a child, and as they say, old habits die hard.

He sighed.

Why couldn't Itachi see that he needed it? He needed to be fucked. Just touching each other wasn't working anymore. The memories never stopped. The flashbacks never ceased. The feelings never left.

He just needed it to go away.

He knew that if Itachi just fucked him everything would be okay. Nothing would hurt anymore. The memories would fade until they were hardly recognizable. The feeling of that man's hands all over him would be erased. He would be okay again. It would be like none of that ever happened in the first place.

He was sure of it.

He just wished Itachi saw it his way.

* * *

Itachi killed time by watching television until their mother got home. He knew Sasuke would need time to cool off and he quite frankly didn't feel like dealing with a bitchy younger brother at the moment. He flipped through channels until he landed on something somewhat interesting, though he wasn't able to focus on it.

Would Sasuke really leave him? Would he really go find someone else?

Itachi and Sasuke were committed to each other now—completely committed. Though no one knew they were together in such a way, they still made an effort to stay loyal to one another.

Then why the hell was Sasuke talking about finding another person to fuck him? Was he really  _that_  desperate for sex? Did he really think sex would cure everything? Itachi briefly considered trying to talk to Sasuke, but easily dismissed that thought. He'd probably only get an earful of curse words and insults hurled his way. He'd rather not deal with that.

Mikoto came home around dinnertime. She smiled as she caught sight of Itachi on the couch, but her face fell once she noticed the absence of Sasuke.

"Is he in his room?"

Itachi nodded. "Where else would he be?"

Mikoto nearly laughed. It was true. If the boy wasn't glued to Itachi he was pouting over something in his room.

"What happened?" She asked as she pattered into the living room and sat at the end of the couch.

"He and I had a fight of sorts," Itachi sighed. "It's no big deal."

"Mind telling me what it was about?"

"Nothing important," Itachi lied. "It was regarding his…promiscuous behavior. Nothing we haven't brushed up on before."

Mikoto nodded. "Do you think he's…having sex or…anything?"

Itachi blushed just the slightest bit and stared at the ceiling.

"I doubt he's sexually active yet, Kaa-san."

The lady raven didn't comment on the fact that she just caught Itachi lying. He wouldn't look her in the eye, a fault many noticed about him when he tried to lie. She sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Well, I just hope he's being safe if he is…"

Itachi finally made eye contact with his mother. "Don't worry yourself. I'm sure he'll get over this phase eventually."

Mikoto nodded.

"I hope so."

She smiled and stood, then pattered into the kitchen.

* * *

Itachi and Mikoto sat at dinner together. Itachi had tried to get Sasuke to come downstairs and eat, but the boy refused. He said he wasn't hungry, or at least that's what Itachi gathered between the string of curses pouring from that boy's mouth. His language only seemed to get worse as he grew older.

"He's really upset, isn't he?"

Itachi shrugged. "I guess so."

Mikoto poked at her food a bit. She wanted to ask Itachi about his relationship with Sasuke, but how was she supposed to say something like that? Wouldn't it be strange for her to make such accusations without any real proof? But something just didn't feel right. She'd had her suspicions for so long now… She just needed some closure.

"Honey, I have a question."

"Go ahead."

"Well…doesn't the way Sasuke hangs all over you, well,  _bother_  you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just…he almost acts, I don't know, kind of sexual around you. I know that's a terrible thing for me to say, but I've noticed it and it's been bothering me." She shrugged and brought her chopsticks to her lips.

Itachi almost choked on his food, but refrained from coughing.

So, their mother was finally suspicious.

It wasn't like he didn't see this day coming, but needless to say, he was freaking out a little. He finished chewing and swallowed.

"I'm sure it's unintentional, mother. You know how he acts nowadays."

Mikoto nodded and shot a glance towards Itachi.

He wasn't looking her in the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated. ^-^


	25. Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story. I accidentally triggered a panic attack by using an old panic attack as reference for writing a panic attack.
> 
> My life. ;-;
> 
> Woo.
> 
> Oh, and I know I mentioned something about nobody knowing anything about their relationship in the last chapter, but that's because I didn't want to mention the Kakashi thing yet...I may go back and change it but idk. *shrugs* ;-; lazy Cody is lazy.

"Sasuke refuses to speak to me."

"Really? That's surprising." Kakashi settled back into his chair. "What are you two fighting about?"

Itachi shrugged. Although he came clean to Kakashi about his and Sasuke's relationship around a year ago, it still felt a bit awkward talking about it with someone. But he knew the man couldn't say anything because they weren't breaking any laws and no one was getting hurt. Sasuke was now above the age of consent and Kakashi wasn't aware of anything sexual they did before he was. Incest may have been frowned upon, but it wasn't illegal. Their relationship may not have been right by some people's moral standards, but according to the law they did nothing wrong.

"It's just…the same thing. He wants us to have sex and I don't think he's ready." Itachi shrugged and shifted in his seat. "The only difference is now he's threatening to find someone else."

"That doesn't sound like something Sasuke would do," Kakashi muttered.

"I know," Itachi nodded. "I don't know what to do about it. What if he actually does go find someone else just because I won't have sex with him?" Itachi sighed and pushed his bangs off his face. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Sasuke, not after all they'd been through to get where they were. Would Sasuke really give everything up over something so stupid?

"He's getting desperate," Kakashi said. "Do you really think he'd leave you?"

"I don't know. That's what's scaring me." Itachi stared at the ground. Memories of the cute little boy who clung to him clouded his mind, reminding him of the days before Orochimaru ruined everything. "I just wish we listened to him. He wouldn't be the way he is today if we only just believed him."

"Don't blame yourself," Kakashi said. "You didn't have any idea."

Itachi dragged his gaze from the floor to the man in front of him. "I didn't like him when I met him. I knew something felt a little off," he said, his voice cracking just the slightest bit. "Even if I could have stopped it then…maybe things would be different."

"Itachi-kun, beating yourself up won't help matters. It is what it is and there's no changing that."

"But _I_  was supposed to protect him," Itachi said, leaning forward in his seat and pointing towards himself. " _Me._  His big brother. I was supposed to make sure no one touched him that way. And what happened?" Itachi lifted his hands. "I completely ignored him when he needed it most. Look at him now. He's a mess." He leant back in his seat and wiped at his eyes. "I should have been able to stop it."

"Don't think about the past, Itachi-kun. What's done is done."

Itachi nodded, sniffling a bit. "I know that—trust me, I do. I know there's no use in entertaining thoughts of what could or should have been. I know."

"Then stop torturing yourself. From what I've gathered, you and Mikoto-san are both driving yourselves crazy. Shit happens, Itachi-kun." The teen managed a half-hearted smirk and nodded. Leave it to Kakashi to be blunt. "There are a ton of fucked up people in the world. What happened to you and what happened to Sasuke were both awful things. Yeah, they shouldn't have happened, but they did. There's no changing that. You can either spend your entire life thinking over the way the world's wronged you, or move on and  _live._  It's your choice."

Itachi laughed quietly and nodded again. "You're right."

Kakashi smirked and rested his cheek on his hand. "I usually am. So, what are you going to do regarding Sasuke?"

"I…" Itachi sighed slowly and deeply. "I think…I'll try to talk to him. And if that doesn't work, I guess I have no choice but to have sex with him." Itachi shot a glance towards Kakashi. "I can't lose him. Not over something so stupid."

The man nodded.

"Do what you have to do, but hopefully he'll listen. We wouldn't want him to have any regrets."

Itachi could only hope he'd hear him out.

* * *

Itachi took a deep breath to steady himself before rapping on Sasuke's door. The kid refused to come out of his room aside from using the restroom since their fight the day before. Itachi wasn't even sure he'd eaten anything.

"Go away."

"Let me in."

"I said go away, fucktard."

Itachi nearly smacked himself in the face with the force of his hands moving to rub his temples.

_Patience, Itachi._

"I still keep a bobby-pin in my pocket and I'm not afraid to use it," he said through clenched teeth. Sasuke groaned loudly and stomped his way to the door. He unlocked it and cracked it open.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I would like for you to listen to me."

"Well, I'm not going to. Bye."

Sasuke swung the door closed but Itachi shoved his leg through the crack to block it. He pushed at the door with all his might, but Sasuke somehow managed to keep it partially closed.

"It would be nice if we could both act like adults in this situation," Itachi muttered, his voice slightly strained due to shoving at the door.

Sasuke scoffed. "'Adults?' Yeah, right. All I am is a kid to you. You do realize that fucking  _Naruto_  already lost his virginity to Sakura, right? Naruto, Aniki.  _Naruto."_

Itachi lifted an eyebrow in amusement, though Sasuke couldn't see it. "Is this some kind of contest?"

"No!" Sasuke huffed, trying with all his might to keep the door closed. "But you're treating me like a child and I'm not one!"

"There are different circumstances."

"Fuck circumstances!"

Itachi sighed. Obviously, at this rate nothing was going to change. It looked like Sasuke wasn't in the mood to listen.

"If I agree to have sex, will you let me in?"

Sasuke froze, his eyes widening considerably. Did his brother just...consent? He stepped back from the door, allowing Itachi to push his way through. Once inside, he shut and locked it behind him.

"Well, now that-"

"So we can have sex?"

Itachi's eyebrow twitched. With a sigh, he nodded.

"If it's what you really,  _really_  want, then yes."

Sasuke grinned triumphantly.

"Then what are we waiting for?" He said, lifting his shirt above his head and tossing it into the corner. He sauntered to his bed then sat and lay back, propping his head up on his arms. "Let's get to it."

"No romance, Sasuke?" Itachi sighed, shaking his head. If this was what it took to keep Sasuke, then he'd go through with it. He just always imagined their first time differently; he imagined it being more special. But, as Kakashi said, shit happens.

Sasuke shrugged. "Romance is overrated."

Itachi chose to ignore that and made his way over to Sasuke's bed. He crawled on top of him.

"Is this really what you want?"

"I already said yes," Sasuke said, his tone nothing short of annoyed. "If you're having second thoughts I could still go find someone else."

That hit a nerve.

"You're  _mine,"_  Itachi growled before crashing his lips against Sasuke's. His eyes widened. Itachi usually wasn't so…forceful. Did he really piss him off that badly?

He shut his eyes and tried to lose himself in the kiss. He brought his hand up and threaded it through Itachi's hair, pulling him closer. Itachi's tongue pried his lips open and mapped out the inside of his mouth, causing Sasuke to moan. Itachi ran his hands down Sasuke's bare upper torso to tweak a nipple. Sasuke's eyebrows drew together as he began feeling a bit…weird.

His mind played fuzzy images of someone very different doing the exact same things to him. Different hands, a different mouth, different eyes. Hands touching him, touching him, not stopping, never stopping, no one can hear you, good boy, take off your clothes,  _no escape no escape…_

Sasuke's eyes shot open and he shoved Itachi off him. He blinked quickly as tears blurred his vision and his breaths came short and harsh. He couldn't breathe; no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fucking breathe. He held his hand to his chest, choking on each gasp of air he somehow managed to take.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?!" Itachi leant forward and placed his hand on Sasuke's arm. The younger jerked his arm away, causing Itachi to flinch back.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" He shouted, once again pushing Itachi away and jumping from his place on the bed. He backed up until his back hit the wall, his eyes wide and terrified.

"Sasuke," Itachi repeated, slowly standing from the bed. He knew exactly what was happening. "Calm down."

Sasuke shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to focus on breathing, in and out, in and out…

He bent over and heaved. He heaved and heaved, trying to breathe, trying to do  _anything_  but it didn't help. He choked and gasped and clutched at his chest. His heart pounded so hard he was sure he would die. It hurt so much. Everything just  _hurt._

He couldn't think straight. Those images, those memories, those feelings. That man touching him, feeling him, touching him, again and again and again and again.

_He made you feel good._

Sasuke fell his knees and doubled over, choking and gagging for air. Itachi took slow steps towards his brother, being careful to avoid doing anything that could set him off more. He was familiar with these, though it had been a long, long time since he suffered one, especially one this terrible.

"Sasuke," he said, his voice low and soothing. "Try to calm down."

Sasuke nodded, his brother's voice somehow breaking through the barrage of thoughts and feelings. He choked and felt tears run down his cheeks, some flowing into his mouth. The taste of salt hit his tongue, though he didn't care. His heartbeat thumped and thumped and the sound was nearly deafening in his ears. His tears fell without restraint, but he still couldn't breathe.

Itachi bit his lip, slowly kneeling down next to his younger brother. This was even worse than when Sasuke testified against Orochimaru, and that had been  _bad._

"Sasuke," he whispered. He moved his hand to rub the boy's back, but he jerked away.

"D-Don't touch me," he choked, shaking his head frantically. He didn't want anyone to touch him, not anymore, never again, please, please,  _don't touch me._

"You're okay, Otouto," Itachi whispered, though he was careful to keep his hands to himself. "You're okay. No one is going to touch you if you don't want them to. Just breathe."

Sasuke nodded. Little by little the images faded away and were replaced by Itachi telling him he was alright, he was okay, he didn't do anything, you're fine,  _you're fine._

Slowly,  _slowly,_ his breathing returned to normal. He stayed hunched over, clutching at his chest, but he could breathe again. His lungs hurt, his throat hurt, his eyes hurt, but he was calming down. Itachi breathed a silent sigh of relief. He knew firsthand how awful panic attacks could be.

Sasuke stayed in the same position and trembled, but he no longer gasped for air. His breathing was slow and deep. Neither boy said a word. Both were trying to settle down.

"Sasuke," Itachi whispered after a couple of minutes. "What happened?"

Sniffling, Sasuke slowly sat up and leant against the wall, his eyes puffy and bloodshot. He was about to respond when there was a knock at the door.

"Honey?"

Itachi sighed.  _Great, she's home early._

Mikoto tried to wiggle the doorknob but found it locked. She furrowed her eyebrows, but wasn't truly surprised. Sighing, Itachi stood and crossed the room to the door. He unlocked and opened it, causing Mikoto to look at him with surprise. Why was he in here? She only came up to ask Sasuke if he wanted dinner and assumed Itachi was in his own room. Itachi backed away and allowed her to enter, and once she caught sight of Sasuke she ran over and crouched down to his level.

"Are you okay?" She asked, brushing his sweaty bangs off his face. He squeezed his eyes shut quickly then opened them and nodded.

"I'm alright," he said, his voice raspy and quiet.

She took in his disheveled and obviously disturbed appearance then surveyed the room. What happened? After a moment she caught sight of his shirt lying on the floor.

The door was locked, Itachi was in here, Sasuke wasn't wearing a shirt and it looked like it was thrown aside…

Mikoto squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She then opened them and weakly smiled at Sasuke. Itachi crouched down beside her, but remained silent.

"Care to explain what happened?" She asked, her voice soft. He shrugged.

"I was having flashbacks to-to…" He shrugged once more and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "It was like it was happening all over again," he said, his voice nearly giving out on him. "I couldn't breathe."

"Are you okay now?" She asked. Sasuke nodded and tried his hardest to smile.

"I think so."

Mikoto leant in to hug Sasuke and expected to get pushed away. She was surprised, however, when Sasuke looped his arms around her and reciprocated her hug. She held him for a couple of moments before releasing him and leaning back. She brushed away the hair that stuck to his forehead and smiled.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

He nodded with a small smile.

"Yeah," he said. "Itachi-nii helped me calm down."

She turned to Itachi and smiled at him as well. She pecked him on the forehead then stood, brushing off her pant legs as she did so.

"Well, do you want me to call Kurenai-san?" Sasuke shook his head.

"I said I'm fine," he muttered, a tinge of annoyance slipping into his tone. Mikoto backed off. She knew he hated it when people worried about him.

"Alright," she said. "Would you like dinner?" Sasuke shook his head once again. She turned to Itachi but he shook his head as well.

"I just want to go to sleep," Sasuke said. He shifted his gaze towards Itachi. "Will you sleep in here with me?"

"Of course."

Mikoto pushed all unpleasant thoughts out of her mind. There was nothing wrong with her sons wanting to sleep in the same room after something like that happening.  _Nothing wrong._

"Goodnight. I love you guys," she said. She turned on her heel and left, shutting the door behind her.

She didn't want to think about what could have caused Sasuke to get so upset, but couldn't help but wonder what they were doing before she came home. She pressed her hand over half of her face and took a deep breath.

Her sons were just brothers.

_Just. Brothers._

* * *

After Mikoto left, Sasuke and Itachi laid back down. This time, however, there was nothing sexual about it. Sasuke lay on top of Itachi and cuddled as close as he could. The elder noticed he was still trembling and rubbed his back gently until his shaking stopped. They lay like this for what almost felt like hours, just enjoying being close to each other.

"Nii-san?"

Itachi jumped a little. He thought Sasuke had drifted off to sleep.

"Yes?"

There was silence for a couple moments.

"I'm really sorry," Sasuke whispered.

Itachi held him closer and moved a hand to play with his hair. He gently ran it through his fingers.

"For what?"

"Everything. Being a bitch, being needy, being annoying, just…everything."

"It's fine."

"No it's not," Sasuke grumbled. He hid his face in the front of Itachi's shirt—they hadn't changed for bed yet—and sighed. "I treat you guys like shit and all you do is worry about me." Sasuke shook his head and shifted so he could peer up at his big brother. "I'm sorry I said I would leave you and find someone else, I just…" his face scrunched up and he looked like he was going to cry again. He sniffled and tried to talk through it, though his voice cracked in places. "I wanted to get rid of all the memories. I-I thought that if I, if I…went all the way, then the memories would go away. I have a lot of dreams a-about it, the sessions, and I…I can't deal with it anymore, Aniki." Tears slipped down his face and he shook his head. "I can't."

Itachi pulled him closer. Sasuke buried his face in his shirt and cried. He tried to mumble broken apologies, but Itachi hushed him and told him it was okay.

"I understand, Sasuke," he whispered over and over again.

Sasuke cried for a few more minutes, but soon ran out of tears. He felt exhausted, both emotionally and physically. His eyes hurt and his whole body ached.

After his crying quieted down, Itachi still played with his hair. The boy leant into the touch and sighed. Words could never describe how comforting Itachi was.

"Try to let go."

Sasuke made a small noise of surprise and shifted his eyes up towards Itachi.

"What do you mean?"

Itachi sighed. Well, it seemed like Sasuke was finally ready to listen.

"You can't hold on to things. What's in the past is in the past. I'm being a bit of a hypocrite by saying this considering I still blame myself for what happened to you, but you need to learn to let go. It happened. There's no changing that. The memories are always going to be there no matter what, but it's your decision whether you dwell on them or not.

"I know from experience that being sexually abused is awful. You feel disgusting, worthless, you blame yourself, but there's no one to blame except the person who did it. You think about it every day. You wonder why, what you did to deserve it. You question everything. You wonder if you could have stopped it, but thinking this way won't do you any good. What's done is done. The past is the past. Both men got what they deserved and they're no longer a part of our lives.

"I'll never forget what happened to me—trust me, I tried to for the longest time—but it doesn't control me. I still live my life. I have friends, I have  _you,_  I do well in school, and no one can take that away from me. I'm not broken. Father didn't win and he never will. I won, Sasuke. Now it's time for you to win. Let go."

Sasuke stared at his brother through his entire speech, just listening.

_Let go…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated. :3


	26. Recovery?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I'm one lazy motherfucker. That, and I'm working on three other stories. *dies*

_"Now, we're going to try something different today, Sasuke."_

_Sasuke's wide eyes shot down towards Orochimaru._

_Different?_

_The man reached two fingers up towards his mouth._

_"Suck on them," he said. Sasuke looked at him as though he was crazy. Orochimaru sighed in annoyance. "Do it, brat."_

_Sasuke reluctantly opened his mouth to let the man's fingers through. He tried his hardest to suck on them, but they really didn't taste very good. Who knew where they'd been?_

_Orochimaru soon removed the pale digits from the boy's mouth and moved them downwards. He massaged one of Sasuke's cheeks, spreading it, and then probed around Sasuke's entrance. Sasuke jumped a little in surprise._

_"Wh-What the hell are you doing?!"_

_"Shut up, Sasuke."_

_Orochimaru shoved one finger in to the knuckle. Sasuke cried out in surprise. Why was he touching him there?_

_Orochimaru thrust the digit in and out of Sasuke's entrance, moaning a little at the tight heat encasing his finger. He did this until he felt the boy was loose enough and added a second. Sasuke cried out again, but this time it was more from pain than surprise. He gritted his teeth. How was this supposed to feel good?_

_But he was glad it hurt this time. Maybe he wouldn't feel as guilty once it was all over._

_All thoughts were erased once Orochimaru hit something inside him._

_"Haah," he moaned._

_What the hell was that?_

_Orochimaru chuckled and aimed for that spot over and over again. Sasuke couldn't hold in any of his noises, though he bit his lip to the point of bleeding in a failed attempt to stay silent. Why did that feel so good?_

_It wasn't long until Sasuke was completely hard. He panted heavily, his face flushed with arousal._

_"S-Stop," he pleaded. He didn't want this to feel good!_

_The man grinned at him._

_"Enjoy it."_

_And then Orochimaru swallowed him whole and continued to abuse his prostate with his fingers. Sasuke cried out, arching his back as he came harder than he ever had before in his life, and Orochimaru swallowed every drop. Once Sasuke was completely spent, he slumped back onto the couch._

_His eyes once again burned with tears._

_Orochimaru detached himself from Sasuke's length and removed his fingers with a huge smile._

_"Feel good, Sasuke-kun?"_

Sasuke awoke with a start. He bolted upright in bed, panting heavily, his entire body covered in a thin layer of sweat. His heart beat erratically and he feared it might hammer out of his chest. No matter how many times his mind replayed that same scene over the past two years, it never got any less horrific. His eyes burned as tears silently slid down his face.

"Sasuke, are you alright?" Itachi sat up and placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. The teen shook his head, his lower lip quivering as he tried his hardest to hold in his sobs.

"N-No," he choked, his voice cracking terribly. "I had a d-dream."

Itachi sighed and brought Sasuke to his chest. The boy cried without restraint once his head was buried, causing Itachi to hold him tighter. He tried his hardest to soothe his baby brother by rubbing his back and playing with his hair, but nothing seemed to help. Sasuke cried for a few more minutes until his eyes stung and he couldn't find it in him to cry anymore, then finally composed himself. He pulled away from Itachi and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands. After a few moments of silence, he mumbled something, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What was that?" Itachi asked. Sasuke groaned and hung his head.

"I asked if I c-could cut myself." He shot a look towards Itachi but spoke before the elder had a chance to. "I don't know what else to do, Aniki," he begged. "When I used to have dreams like this I would ask you to touch me…what am I supposed to do now?" The look on his face, even his voice…everything about him was completely defeated.

"Sasuke, I can't allow you to cut yourself," Itachi said, his face conveying utmost sympathy. His little brother was obviously trying his hardest to get better if he was actually  _asking_  to hurt himself.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Sasuke whispered, tears falling onto the comforter wrapped around his waist. Itachi sighed and fell back onto the bed, gently pulling Sasuke's arm along with him. The younger's light frame fell beside him and he cuddled up to Itachi's side. "I don't want to feel this way."

They lay in silence for a few minutes. Itachi had no idea of what he should say to Sasuke. What would make him feel better? They couldn't do anything sexual until Sasuke was better or else they would be hurting him more. Cutting was definitely out of the question, and Sasuke wasn't exactly known for his vast array of coping skills.

Wait.

_Coping skills._

"What if you called Kurenai-san?"

Sasuke pouted. "I don't want to talk to her…plus it's the middle of the night."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind, Sasuke. She cares about you getting better just as much as mother and I do."

Sasuke huffed and cuddled closer to Itachi. Would it help if he talked to her? He ran through every other option in his head. He couldn't cut himself, he couldn't do things with Itachi… After a few moments of careful consideration, he decided that he had nothing left to lose.

"…Fine."

Itachi smiled softly and sat up, bringing Sasuke up with him. "Do you have her number saved in your phone?" Sasuke shook his head.

"I deleted it," he mumbled. Itachi frowned but didn't comment. He knew Sasuke wasn't as open with her as he used to be, as sad as that was.

"Well, I guess we'll have to ask mother for it."

The two boys got out of bed and shuffled out into the hallway. Itachi lightly rapped on their mother's door and she opened it a couple moments later. Her hair was a total mess, sticking up at odd angles, and her eyes were barely open.

"Is everything okay?" She mumbled, obviously half-asleep. She looked from her oldest to her youngest, everything clicking into place once she saw Sasuke's tear-streaked face.

"Sasuke had abad dream," Itachi said, his eyes conveying his true meaning. "We were wondering if you could give us Kurenai-san's number." Mikoto nodded quickly.

"Of course."

She shuffled back into her room to grab her phone. She scrolled through her contacts, the soft light illuminating her face, and made her way back to the door.

"You can use my phone if you want," she said. Sasuke shrugged and took it from her.

"Thank you," Itachi said. Mikoto nodded with a warm smile.

"Of course," she said. "I love you two."

"We love you too," Itachi said. Sasuke smiled weakly.

"I love you, Kaa-san," he said. Mikoto's eyes widened and she felt tears burning at her eyes, but not the kind of tears she'd grown used to. That was the first time Sasuke said he loved her in the past two years.

With a huge smile, she shut the door, sighing happily to herself before walking over to her bed and lying down.

Maybe things were going to get better.

* * *

Once they were back in Sasuke's room, the two boys sat on his bed. Sasuke stared at his phone and bit his lip.

"Come on, Sasuke," Itachi said. "Just call her."

Sasuke grumbled. "What if she gets mad? I mean, it's…" He glanced at the clock. "It's almost 4 in the morning, Aniki."

Itachi shrugged. "I've called Kakashi-san in the middle of the night when I had trouble coping. It's part of their job."

The younger grumbled some more. Itachi shook his head, a small smile on his face, and leant forward to hug him tightly.

"Just do it. You'll feel better, I promise."

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke flipped Mikoto's phone open, scrolled through her contacts, and pressed 'call.' He held it to his ear and bit his lip even harder while he waited for her to answer. He let it ring for a few minutes and was about to hang up, when she finally answered.

"Hello?" She said, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Ah, I'm sorry to wake you up, Kurenai-san…but I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"Of course, Sasuke," she said, stifling a yawn. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, it's a long story…"

* * *

Sasuke sat on his bed, his knees drawn to his chest and phone pressed to his ear. He'd been talking to Kurenai for almost two hours now. Itachi lay behind him, gently drifting off to the sound of Sasuke's hushed voice.

The boy told Kurenai everything, even down to his and Itachi's relationship. He told her about trying to get Itachi to touch him when those feelings came back in an attempt to squash them. He told her about threatening to find someone else if Itachi wouldn't have sex with him. He told her about his panic attack.

He also told her that he wanted to let go.

He cried and shook during most of their conversation, but Itachi was there to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be alright. Itachi rubbed his back, soothing him, and Sasuke eventually calmed down. He was completely serene now, just listening to Kurenai talk to him. She told him that they would work on learning some new coping skills during their next session. She also told him that she understood and that she wished he told her these things beforehand, but also that she was glad he was telling her now.

"Yeah, okay. Thank you so much, Kurenai-san," Sasuke said, a small, relieved smile on his face. He gently shut the phone and turned to face his brother. "She's really nice."

Itachi chuckled, nodding his head. "I know."

"She wasn't even mad I woke her up," Sasuke said, his smile growing. "It was nice…to know she cares."

Itachi returned Sasuke's smile and gently tugged on his arm. He glanced at the window and saw that sunlight was just starting to peak through the blinds.

"We should go to sleep now, Otouto," Itachi said, stifling a yawn. Sasuke obviously wasn't going to make it to school today, but he doubted their mother would mind. Plus, it meant they could spend the day together. And to think, just a day ago Itachi was worried about being alone with Sasuke. But he knew now that his baby brother understood where he was coming from.

Sasuke nodded, setting Mikoto's phone on his nightstand, and laid down. He cuddled as close as he could to his older brother, looping his arms around him and snuggling into his chest. Itachi wrapped his arms around him as well, but found it a little odd that Sasuke felt so…thin. Come to think of it, he seemed to have lost some weight recently. Itachi shook it off, figuring it was nothing to worry about.

Sasuke felt so much better now, like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. He knew it was going to be hard, but he truly, honestly wanted to let go. He knew he could never  _forget_ , but he wanted to move on. That part of his life was over, so there was no need to torture himself any longer.

Sasuke and Itachi soon fell asleep, both feeling happier than they had in a long while.

* * *

By the time both boys woke up, the sun was glaring violently through the blinds. Itachi guessed it must have been at least noon and he gently shook Sasuke, trying to wake him up. The younger raven yawned and cuddled closer, trying to hide his face from the unforgiving rays of the sun.

"Wake up, Otouto," Itachi whispered. Sasuke groaned and pushed away from Itachi then forced himself into a sitting position. His hair stuck out at odd angles, but this only added to his sleepy adorableness.

"It's too fucking early," he slurred. Itachi glanced at the clock, seeing it read 1:13 pm.

"Really, too early?" He smirked, shaking his head. He sat up and lightly grasped Sasuke's chin, leaning in to press a soft kiss against his cute pink lips and causing Sasuke to blush at the small, unexpected gesture. Itachi leant back and smiled at his baby brother, then pecked him lightly on the forehead. "Good afternoon."

Sasuke smirked, his face still slightly pink. "I guess I'm not going to school today."

"I guess not," Itachi chuckled.

"Do you have any classes today, Aniki?"

Itachi shook his head. "No. Even if I did, I'd stay home," he said. "I want to spend time with you."

Sasuke giggled, though he'd never admit it. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach at the thought of spending this whole day together, just the two of them. It had been a while since he felt so…in love. He was so happy, just being with Itachi like this. Cuddling, snuggling, kissing innocently…it had been so long since they were able to be like this without Sasuke trying to turn it into something sexual. It was refreshing, to say the least. It reminded him of when he was younger and sex was the furthest thing from his mind.

Sasuke stood and stretched, yawning as he felt his joints pop. He was still tired and his body ached from lack of sleep, but he figured he'd have to push through it.

"I'm tired," he muttered, stifling another yawn.

"Me too," Itachi said. He kicked off his covers and stood as well. Sasuke pattered out of the bedroom, Itachi following behind, and soon they stood in the bathroom. Sasuke grasped his toothbrush, wet it, then grabbed the toothpaste and squeezed some onto it. He set about brushing his teeth, Itachi following suit. Upon catching a glimpse of himself, Sasuke made a face in the mirror.

"Muh heur loochs fyckin rediculus," he said, his mouth full of toothpaste. Itachi chuckled and ruffled his hair with his free hand.

"I guess you need a shower."

Sasuke shrugged and spat into the sink. He washed his toothbrush off and set it aside, then reached for the cup he kept next to it, filled it with water, and rinsed his mouth. He spat again, set the cup down, then huffed. He brought his hands up and mussed his hair, trying to get it to cooperate, but it simply wouldn't.

"Dammit," he whined. He just took a shower last night, and now he had to take one again! Itachi, sensing his brother's displeasure, patted him on the back. He quickly finished brushing his teeth and rinsed his mouth, then set his toothbrush down.

"I'll go make us some lunch, okay?"

Sasuke nodded and soon Itachi was gone. With a sigh, the boy closed the door and slipped off his boxers. He caught sight of his body in the mirror and stopped to inspect it, frowning as he pinched some extra fat. He huffed and turned so he could look at his profile, frowning once again. He hated his body a lot, though he really didn't know why. It started happening once he  _really_  hit puberty. Everything just seemed to be developing wrong. Too much fat here, too little there… He ran his hands down his torso, grimacing at every imperfection he saw and felt. He just looked…gross.

Shooting one more glare towards the mirror, Sasuke stepped into the tub and turned the water on.

* * *

After Sasuke got himself cleaned up, he headed downstairs. The smell of pizza wafted through the house, making Sasuke smirk. He should have known. Frozen pizza was pretty much the only thing Itachi could cook.

Itachi smiled when he saw Sasuke walk up. He pulled him in for a tight hug which Sasuke quickly reciprocated, tightly looping his arms tightly around the elder. They stood there for a moment, then Itachi pulled away and leant down to kiss the younger. Sasuke happily leant into the kiss, a slight blush breaking across his face, then pulled back.

"I love you," Itachi said. Sasuke smiled and hugged him tighter.

"I love you too."

Itachi ruffled his hair and Sasuke jerked away, lightly batting at Itachi's hands.

"Hey! I just fixed it, dammit!"

Itachi shook his head and laughed. His little brother could be such a girl sometimes, but that only made him cuter. Sasuke stuck out his tongue and glared, though it only lasted for a moment before morphing into a playful smirk. Itachi handed him a plate with pizza on it and a glass of soda, then grabbed his own. They made their way over to the table and sat down.

Itachi ate quickly, seeing as he'd missed breakfast that morning and was very hungry. Sasuke just nibbled on the crust of one of his pieces of pizza, nearly gagging all the while. Itachi watched him and noticed that he didn't seem to be taking any big bites.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I am," Sasuke said, whipping his head up and flashing his most convincing smile. He took a big bite of his pizza, repressing the grimace that came with it. His stomach churned at the taste of cheese and tomatoes, which was odd. He used to love that round red fruit; he'd even eat it by itself. He chewed slowly and swallowed, though he honestly felt nauseous doing so. He smiled bigger at his big brother, just hoping this would get him to stop worrying.

Itachi nodded and returned Sasuke's smile, figuring Sasuke would eat more when he went upstairs. He quickly finished up his own food. After he was done he stood, bringing his dishes with him into the kitchen. He washed them quickly and dried his hands on a dishtowel.

"I'm going to go take a shower, alright?" Sasuke nodded. Itachi left soon after, causing the younger to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Once Itachi disappeared upstairs, Sasuke waited until heard the shower turn on to move. After it did he stood with a sigh, picking up his plate and glass of soda, then walked into the kitchen. He poured his soda down the drain and dumped his pizza into the trashcan. He threw some napkins in after it to cover it up, smiling slightly to himself as he did so.

At least he didn't have to eat lunch today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	27. Lies Can Destroy You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo
> 
> i'm alive
> 
> here's a chapter, beta'd by the wonderful Daelyn
> 
> the sheer amount of fluff makes me want to kill a bear so i'll feel manly again
> 
> cries manly tears of manliness

After lunch, Sasuke and Itachi sat on the couch together, watching a movie. Itachi wrapped his arms around the smaller body and once again caught himself thinking that Sasuke felt just a bit thinner and bonier than he should have. He rubbed at his arm, feeling the way his shoulders jutted out a bit more than they used to. This nagging voice in the back of his mind told him he should be concerned, but truth be told, he didn't really want to entertain the thought of his brother having yet  _another_  problem. Cutting, promiscuity, depression…adding another to the list would be awful, but Itachi couldn't deny the fact that he barely seemed to eat anymore was worrisome.

"Nii-san?" Itachi jerked his head towards the smaller raven cuddled up to his side.

"Hm?"

"Thank you for always being there for me," Sasuke said with a small smile. "I've put you through a lot."

"Don't worry about it," Itachi said, hugging Sasuke tighter to himself and internally grimacing at how small he felt.  _I'd do anything for you._

The movie was boring at best, but neither brother minded. Being close was all that mattered, and they were more than happy to simply snuggle on the couch together. Sasuke drifted off halfway through the movie and Itachi let him sleep. The boy was still tired from all of last night's and this morning's events, as was Itachi. Eventually, he fell asleep as well.

They were both awoken a couple hours later by Mikoto lightly shaking them. She smiled at the sleepy faces of both her sons and told them dinner was almost ready. Sasuke grumbled and clung tighter to Itachi, but eventually the elder was able to pry him off his arm and they both joined Mikoto in the dining room.

Now, Itachi decided to pay close attention to how Sasuke ate. The smaller raven pushed around the food on his plate a bit and occasionally took a small bite here and there, but nothing of true substance. He barely ate anything. As Itachi ate his dinner, he never once took his eyes away from Sasuke's plate. Mikoto, on the other hand, was oblivious and made idle conversation which Sasuke tried his hardest to respond to. Well, at least they seemed to be getting along a little better.

"Would you boys mind doing the dishes?" Mikoto asked as she took her last bite.

"Sure," Itachi said. Sasuke nodded and shoved a piece of broccoli towards the corner of his plate. With a smile, Mikoto stood and took her plate into the kitchen. She placed it in the sink then went back out to the dining room.

"I'll be in my room if you boys need me," she said as she walked past. Once she was gone Itachi stood as well and brought his plate into the kitchen. When he came back out, he was sad to find Sasuke still poking at his barely-eaten food. It was untouched aside from being shifted around.

"I'm going to go grab my phone," Itachi said. "Then I'll help with the dishes." Sasuke seemed to perk up a bit and nodded.

"Okay."

As soon as Itachi was out of sight, Sasuke sprinted into the kitchen and dumped his food into the trashcan. He'd been scared for a minute there that he'd actually have to finish his dinner, and was more than relieved that Itachi gave him that small break. He grimaced as he finished scraping his plate clean, the thought of finishing all of that making his stomach hurt more than it usually did. After most of the food was off of the plate, he placed it in the sink and grabbed a handful of napkins. He tossed them in the trashcan quickly in an attempt to be done before his brother came back down, but didn't have a chance to double check to make sure it was covered well before he was joined by Itachi.

"You finished your food that quickly?" The elder asked as he slipped his phone into his pocket and turned on the faucet. Sasuke shrugged but gave no other answer as he squirted soap onto a sponge. They were finished washing dishes within a couple of minutes, and once they were done Sasuke excused himself. As Itachi put the last dish away, he glanced down and caught sight of the trashcan; or rather, what was  _in_  the trashcan.

Well, that explained how Sasuke 'finished' his food so quickly.

Itachi shuffled over to the food graveyard with a slight groan. Sasuke's dinner lay partially covered by a mess of white napkins, though it was still easily visible if one were to actually look.

_Great, just great._

Although it was gross, Itachi moved some of the poorly covered food aside and came across Sasuke's lunch from earlier, though it was slightly better covered.  _So he didn't even eat that, huh?_ Itachi shook his head. Why on Earth would Sasuke, well…starve himself? He was far from overweight—he always had been—and now he was honestly getting a bit  _too_  slim. So Itachi did have a reason to be worried, after all.

Itachi thought through his options.

Option 1: Confront Sasuke.

Judging from previous experience, Sasuke was likely to shut himself away from the world and deny there was a single thing wrong with him until he nearly died.  _Again._ Needless to say, Itachi didn't want to relive that terrible experience.

Option 2: Tell Kaa-san.

No. Nobody needed a hysterical Mikoto.

Option 3: Prove him wrong.

With a small smile, Itachi decided option three was undoubtedly the best choice. He rinsed and dried his hands then pattered up the steps. He found Sasuke in his room ( _things are getting back to normal, are they?)_ and joined him on his bed after shutting the door. Sasuke was reading some manga and barely glanced up as the bed dipped under Itachi's weight, but a thumb caressing his cheek successfully drew his attention away from the black-and-white pages.

"Nii-san?"

"You're beautiful."

Right on cue, Sasuke's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a light pink.

"Wh-What?"

Itachi smiled and leant in, lightly pressing his lips against Sasuke's temple.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, stroking Sasuke's cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You're gorgeous, breathtaking...perfect."

Sasuke's face nearly resembled a tomato at this point, and he shifted a little. Itachi was affectionate, of course, but what spurred this?

"I'm far from perfect, Aniki," Sasuke muttered. Itachi shook his head and lightly took the manga from Sasuke's hands, tossing it aside once he did so. He lightly pushed Sasuke onto his back, crawling on top of him, and smiled at his blushing little brother.

"You're beautiful," he repeated. He lightly kissed Sasuke on his forehead, then each cheek, then his nose, then his lips. Sasuke's cheeks burned and he squirmed again. What was Itachi doing?

The elder lifted Sasuke's wrist up to his face and gazed at the dark scar from the time Sasuke nearly died. He couldn't— _wouldn't—_ go through almost losing his little brother again. Sasuke meant the world to him and he couldn't imagine living without him. Why did Sasuke have to hate himself  _so_   _much?_

Itachi lightly kissed the scar before moving his fingers and lacing them through Sasuke's. He dragged his eyes from Sasuke's arm to his eyes, stifling a laugh at how adorable his blushing Otouto looked, then bent down. He lightly lifted Sasuke's shirt with his free hand, just enough to expose a little of his pale stomach and his belly button, then pressed a small kiss there.

"Every part of you is perfect, Sasuke. Even here," he said, pressing another light kiss on Sasuke's tummy and staring straight into his eyes. "Never forget that."

Sasuke nodded, his blush only intensifying with every word out of the elder's mouth. He had no idea why his big brother was being so sweet, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it. But what did he mean about his stomach…?

Sasuke's thoughts were momentarily forgotten as Itachi moved up to kiss him. Sasuke nearly squeaked in surprise, but was able to suppress it in an attempt to keep at least some shred of manliness. They kissed softly before Itachi pulled away, a light smile stretched across his lips.

"I love you," Itachi whispered, brushing some hair off Sasuke's forehead.

"I-I love you too."  _What's gotten into him?_

Itachi kissed him once more then leant back, unlacing their fingers in the process, and stood.

"Are you sleeping in here tonight?" Sasuke nodded fervently at Itachi's question, causing the elder to shake his head with a small laugh.

Maybe things were getting back to normal after all.

* * *

When Sasuke came home from school the next day, he was disappointed to find that Itachi hadn't come home yet. He checked his phone and saw that Itachi had texted him and told him he'd be home by dinner. Sasuke pouted and plopped onto the couch, his stomach meeting the soft cushions.

He thought through what Itachi said to him last night. He said so many nice things, but why? It wasn't like it was uncommon for Itachi to show his love for Sasuke, but last night was just…really nice. Sasuke silently cursed the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. He was fourteen, for Christ's sake! He and Itachi had basically been together since he was twelve, so why the hell was he still acting like a giddy little schoolgirl?!

With a groan, he grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it. He felt his cheeks burn as his mind replayed every nice thing Itachi said to him, though he tried to convince himself none of it was true.

_I'm not beautiful; Nii-san is just too nice. I'm so far from perfect it's not even funny. I'm fat and gross and ugly and just…_

_"You're beautiful," he murmured, stroking Sasuke's cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You're gorgeous, breathtaking...perfect."_

Sasuke kicked his feet and nearly screamed into the pillow. Why did his brother have to sound so  _sure_  when he said those things? Why did he have to make it sound like there was no room for doubt? He kicked his feet a few more times with muffled yells.

Sasuke was too caught up in his internal brooding and small temper tantrum to notice the sound of the door opening or footsteps padding into the living room. However, he did notice the sound of a small, amused chuckle coming from a few feet away. He whipped his head up and glared at Itachi.

"I thought you weren't coming home for another couple hours?" Sasuke seethed, his eyes narrowed at the cause of his anger and…giddiness.

Itachi shrugged and slipped his bag off his shoulder.

"I missed you and wanted to come home early."

With a strange sort of strangled choking noise, Sasuke once again buried his face in the pillow. He couldn't stop yet another violent blush from decorating his cheeks and he quite frankly hated everything at that moment.

Itachi, sensing his adorable brother's embarrassment, strolled closer and knelt next to him.

"Otouto," he breathed. Sasuke turned his face just a fraction and gulped at how close his big brother's handsome face was to his. "You're so cute when you blush like that," Itachi smirked.

Sasuke's eyes widened and he buried his face in his pillow again. Damn his big brother for saying those types of things!

His smirk only growing in size, Itachi decided to give Sasuke a small break and ruffled his hair a couple of times. He stood after that and shifted on his feet.

"Mother called and said she'd be home late tonight," he said. "I figured I'd make us dinner. I know it's a bit early, but I'm hungry now. Is that okay with you?"

Sasuke did his best to shrug and breathed a huge sigh of relief once he heard Itachi leave the room. It was like Itachi was trying to kill him with compliments or something! Not that he didn't like it—wait! He definitely  _didn't_ like it because nothing he said was true!

But he sounded so sure…

Sasuke shook his head.

_Damn it, Itachi-nii!_

* * *

Once their gourmet dinner of frozen pizza was ready, the two boys sat down to eat. Itachi watched Sasuke carefully, noticing the small, careful bites he took around the crust. Sasuke's eyes flickered up and he caught Itachi's gaze, and with a small sigh he took a bigger bite. Itachi's face fell as he saw this. He knew Sasuke was just trying to appease him; he never wanted people to worry.

"Sasuke," he began. He soon paused, wondering what he should say. He knew confronting Sasuke wouldn't be good, but he needed to eat more than just a little here and there. He didn't look well; he was far too pale, and that was definitely saying something considering the normal paleness every Uchiha inherited.

"What is it?" Sasuke muttered, trying his hardest to suppress a grimace at the taste of the pizza. Itachi shook his head.

"You're perfect, alright?" He said. Sasuke huffed and threw his hands up, piece of pizza still in hand.

"Why are you saying this stuff?!" He exclaimed, exasperated. His face turned red without his consent but he tried his hardest to ignore it. He wanted to know what was up with Itachi's weirdly sweet behavior!

"Because it's true," Itachi said with a small shrug. He took another bite of his pizza, trying his hardest to suppress a smirk at his Otouto's sputtering.

"I'm not perfect," Sasuke muttered, setting down the piece of pizza. He stared at the food with a look of disgust. "I'm fat, ugly, weird, gross, awkward, annoying-"

"Shut up," Itachi snapped, startling Sasuke just a bit. The younger dragged his eyes up and was surprised to find that Itachi looked rather…furious. "You're none of those things and I don't want to hear you call yourself them ever again."

"But they're true!"

"No, they're not," Itachi sighed, shaking his head. "Baby brother, do I have any reason to lie to you?"

Sasuke's lower lip jutted out but he shook his head. "No," he muttered with a shrug.

"Then believe me when I tell you that you're the furthest thing from any of those. You're beautiful, Sasuke. Please just believe me."

Sasuke felt his eyes watering and he tried his hardest to wipe them with the back of his hand, but some tears still spilled out.

"That isn't true," he whispered, his voice choked. Why wouldn't Itachi just leave him alone?

"Yes, it is." Itachi stood and made his way over to Sasuke. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind and tightly hugged him. "You're perfect."

Sasuke shook his head, only to be met with the same response.

"You're perfect, Sasuke."

He cried harder and his shoulders shook, but Itachi held him tightly.

"I-I'm not," he choked, wiping at his eyes. "H-Have you even _seen_  me?"

"Every day," Itachi muttered. "And I still can't believe such an amazing person is mine…" He smiled softly and nuzzled Sasuke's neck.

"Will you stop," Sasuke whispered, tears still slipping down his cheeks unhindered. "Please…?"

"No. I won't stop until you believe me," Itachi said. He needed Sasuke to see himself the way he did. He wasn't fat, he wasn't ugly, he wasn't annoying…

"Why do you want me to believe you so badly?!"

With a huge sigh, Itachi tightened his arms around Sasuke.

"Because I'm worried," he said.

"Why?" Sasuke hissed. "I hate it when you worry about me."

"Trust me, I know that, but you have no reason to…"

Itachi paused for a moment, just trying to decide if this was the best way to go about things. Convincing Sasuke otherwise didn't seem to work; he'd already accepted those lies as undeniable truth.

"...Starve yourself."

Sasuke's watery eyes widened and he tried to wiggle away from Itachi, but found the elder's grip was too strong.

"What makes you think I'm doing that?!" He asked, his voice cracking. He was terrified. Would Itachi tell their mother? Would he have to go to the hospital? These thoughts made him thrash harder.

"Calm down," Itachi murmured. Sasuke was bigger now so it was harder to hold him still, though it was still possible with a bit of effort. "I just want to talk to you."

After a few moments, Sasuke's struggling died down and he stilled. With a small sigh, he leant into Itachi's warm embrace.

"How do you know?" He whispered. He knew denying it further would get him nowhere. Itachi already knew, that much was obvious. He wouldn't have mentioned it if he was the least bit unsure.

"I noticed you've been losing weight and you barely seem to eat anymore. Finding your discarded food in the trashcan only confirmed my suspicions."

Sasuke pouted. Dammit, he should have put it somewhere else!

"What are you going to do about it?" He asked, his voice fearful.

"I won't tell mother, if that's what you're worried about…though I will tell her if this isn't something we can work through together."

Sasuke nodded. Well, that was a bit of a relief.

"So," Itachi began, loosening his hold around Sasuke and standing up straight. "When did this start?" Itachi returned to his seat and locked eyes with Sasuke, only to be met with a glare.

"Why should I tell you?" He hissed.

"You don't have to tell me anything," Itachi said, his voice quiet and a bit tired. He just wanted to help. Why was it so difficult for Sasuke to accept that? "But I'm worried."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He knew the only way to get Itachi to stop worrying was to be truthful… He groaned and stared at the table.

"Around the time I turned thirteen." Itachi tilted his head in confusion. That long? But he hadn't noticed much of a decline in Sasuke's eating habits until recently…

"I used to only skip breakfast," Sasuke explained as though he could sense Itachi's confusion. "Then sometimes lunch…then dinner…" He shrugged. "I just wanted to feel skinner. I don't know how it got so…bad."

_Well, at least he knows it's bad,_ Itachi thought. That was progress, right?

"But you've always been skinny," Itachi said. "You don't need to worry about that."

Sasuke shrugged and glanced at Itachi.

"I feel gross. I don't know why—I just do."

"But you have no reason to feel that way, Sasuke," Itachi sighed. "When was the last time you had a full meal?"

Sasuke shrugged again. "A week or two ago," he muttered.

"Sasuke…that isn't healthy," Itachi said, leaning forward in his chair. His little brother was doing terrible damage to his body by starving himself like this. "Don't you feel ill?"

"I mean, at first I did…then it kind of faded away," Sasuke said. "Food makes me feel sick now. I hate eating." As if to prove his point, Sasuke grimaced at the mostly untouched piece of pizza on his plate.

Itachi stood once more and walked until he stood in front of Sasuke. The younger looked up at him curiously, obviously wondering what he was going to say.

"I promise I'll help you through this," Itachi said, a small, sad smile on his handsome face. He leant down and kissed Sasuke softly, then pulled away just a little.

"What do you mean, Nii-san?" Sasuke asked, his voice quiet.

Smiling gently, Itachi kissed him once more before pulling away again.

"I'll make you believe you're beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and kudos and comments make me smile like a dumbass


	28. Locked Doors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to write this while listening to MSI and then 'I Want to be Black' started and I realized I couldn't do it. So I put on some Circa Survive instead.
> 
> Circa Survive and chatting with Daelyn then put me into an 'I-hate-humanity' type mood and I found writing fluff completely impossible.
> 
> So I wrote some horribly fucked-up shit with my friend, Nicki and got completely distracted. Around five-thirty a.m., I started working on this again. It is now seven and I'm just finishing this up.
> 
> I'M NOT EVEN TIRED WHAT THE FUCK
> 
> Actually
> 
> Wait no. I'm about to pass out. O A O
> 
> I am sooooo sorry for not updating sooner. I've been writing so much shit lately. BILY isn't my major focus anymore and I'm really sorry to all my loyal readers and commenters. I promise I'll update at least once a week, though I'll aim for twice.
> 
> Hopefully this makes up for the wait~
> 
> I also apologize for any stupid mistakes. It's 7:30 in the morning and I'm probably borderline drunk thanks to sleep deprivation. *faceplants violently*

Sasuke took a small bite of his food, chewing carefully, before swallowing. He flashed a small smile towards his Aniki and Itachi happily smiled back. With a sigh, Sasuke took another bite of his food, repressing the grimace that still came with it. He knew it would go away eventually. He just needed to eat. His stomach still churned and ached when he ate too much, but the pain had decreased over the past week or so and he had more energy than he usually did, which was nice, to say the least.

Itachi felt relief wash over him as he watched Sasuke's careful, yet consistent bites. The boy had eaten more this meal than he had at any other for the past two weeks, and Itachi found his smile growing as he imagined the day where Sasuke would eat without any fear of tummy aches or his weight.

After Sasuke knew he couldn't eat another bite, he stood and took his plate into the kitchen. He was soon followed by Itachi who, after setting his plate down, wrapped his arms around Sasuke and hugged him from behind.

"I'm so proud of you," he said. There was still a good bit of food left on Sasuke's plate, but compared to even a week ago, it was much better. "You're doing so well."

"Thank you, Nii-san," Sasuke said with a small smile. It was nice to be told he was doing a good job and that every accomplishment, no matter how small, meant something. He really was trying his hardest to beat this.

After Itachi released his hold around his brother and Sasuke scraped the rest of his dinner into the trashcan, they got to work on loading dishes. Mikoto followed soon after and placed her dish beside the sink.

"You two seem happy," she said, a warm smile on her face. Sasuke and Itachi nodded.

"Kurenai-san's been helping me a lot," Sasuke said. He'd been seeing her twice a week, on Wednesdays after school and their usual time of Saturday morning, and it had proved nothing short of helpful. Mikoto hugged him quickly and internally beamed when Sasuke didn't pull away. Things were still strained between them, but not nearly as bad as the past two years were. After pecking both her sons on the forehead, she left the kitchen to go relax in the living room.

It took Sasuke and Itachi a couple of minutes to finish loading the dishes into the dishwasher, but afterwards they headed upstairs to the elder's room.

"Can you help me with my homework?" Sasuke asked once they reached it.

"Sure."

Sasuke ran to his room to grab his backpack and Itachi sat on his bed. When the younger came back he shut and locked the door behind him, which Itachi didn't fail to notice.

"Just in case," Sasuke mumbled. Itachi resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but he had to agree it was better to be safe than sorry. Their mother was still suspicious even if Sasuke wasn't hanging all over him every chance he had anymore. The damage had already been done. If she walked in on them kissing or in any sort of absurdly provocative position, she'd undoubtedly freak out. Itachi didn't want to think of what she'd do, of what extent she'd go to just to separate them. Just the thought of being away from Sasuke made Itachi's heart ache in his chest and he knew he wouldn't be able to deal with it.

"Nii-san!"

Itachi jerked his head towards Sasuke who managed to sit down beside him while he was distracted. He smiled in apology and ruffled Sasuke's hair, earning an annoyed hiss from the younger.

"Stop that!" Sasuke cried, batting at Itachi's hands. The elder smiled and gently grabbed Sasuke's chin with his hand.

"You're so cute," he murmured, causing Sasuke to blush.

"Sh-Shut up!"

Smiling softly, Itachi leant forward and quickly pecked Sasuke on the lips. Sasuke felt his cheeks heat up more, but before he had a chance to try and deepen the kiss, the pressure was gone. He sighed in disappointment but cracked open his math book, quickly flipping to tonight's homework.

They soon settled down and got to work on Sasuke's assignment. Sasuke's grades had slipped terribly over the past two years. He used to be the head of his class, but his grades and motivation declined along with his mental health. Only now was he really trying to put forth any effort again, and it was more than difficult. He was really behind. Lucky for him, he had a genius for a big brother.

As they worked, Itachi found it harder and harder to focus on the problems written on the pages in front of them. Being so close to Sasuke was affecting his mind. It had been nearly three weeks since they'd touched each other sexually and although Itachi would never admit it, his control was slipping.

Living with,  _sleeping_ with someone he was so used to being with that way was difficult. Though he may have had more control than most, he was still a teenage boy. He had needs…needs that his hand alone couldn't fully satisfy.

Sasuke's cute pink tongue darted out to moisten his lips, his eyebrows furrowed in thought as he tried to solve this problem. He huffed and brought the eraser of his pencil to his lip for a moment and chewed on it thoughtfully before lowering it and once again attempting his problem. Itachi watched every movement his brother made with rapt interest, biting at his own lip viciously due to his Otouto's unintentionally seductive behavior.

Before either truly had any idea of what was happening, Itachi grabbed Sasuke's chin again and pressed his lips against his with much more desperation than earlier. Sasuke nearly squeaked in surprise, but dropped his pencil and let his eyes slip shut. Itachi pulled away for only a second to shove Sasuke's math book out of the way, then pushed Sasuke down on his back and reattached their lips with fervor.

Sasuke couldn't help but moan lightly and lace his fingers through Itachi's hair as he felt his tongue slide across his bottom lip. He happily opened his mouth to allow it inside and nearly mewled once it was, his own tongue happily sparring with it. Itachi hadn't kissed him like this for weeks and he'd missed it  _so much._

The elder's mind soon clouded with lust. Three weeks was too long to go without touching his beautiful little brother, and the desire to make up for lost time quickly drowned out every reason for waiting. He slowly dragged his fingers down until could reach under Sasuke's shirt. He hiked it up so he could rub the younger's nipple with his thumb, earning an adorable mewl and a slight buck of his baby brother's hips. Itachi growled and kissed Sasuke harder, his tongue practically fucking his mouth as repressed lust shot its way to the surface and consumed him.

Itachi grinded against Sasuke, happy to feel he was getting hard almost as quickly as he was. The younger gasped and gripped Itachi's hair tighter as little sparks of pleasure shot through his body, nearly making him dizzy from their intensity. Touching himself could never compare to being with Itachi.

There was a knock at the door, effectively breaking the boys out of their lust-induced trance.

Itachi immediately pulled himself off Sasuke, slightly disoriented as rational thought slowly returned to him. Sasuke mirrored his spacey look but pouted a bit at the loss of his Aniki's lips against his own.

"Boys? I'm going to bed early tonight." Mikoto tried to turn the doorknob and scowled when she found it was locked. What were they doing in there?

"O-Okay, Kaa-san," Sasuke said, his voice still breathless. He was suddenly  _very_  glad he'd locked the door. Neither of them were in any shape to face Mikoto right now. Their flushed faces and position, not to mention their obvious hard-ons would have given them away within a second.

"I love you guys."

"Love you too," both boys called. With a sigh caused by the terrible sinking feeling in her chest, Mikoto released the doorknob and made her way to her own room. She decided she needed to talk to Tsunade about her suspicions the next time she saw her. She  _couldn't_ have been imagining everything, right?

"Aren't you glad I locked the door?" Sasuke panted, his eyes half-lidded and a lazy smile on his lips. Itachi smirked but leaned back.

"I'm sorry," he muttered with a sigh, desperately trying to look anywhere but at his obviously aroused little brother. "My hormones got the best of me."

Sasuke scowled. There was  _no way_  his Nii-san was pulling that shit again!

"I'm doing better," Sasuke said quickly, trying to convince his brother that he had no reason for guilt. "I don't have as many dreams anymore and Kurenai taught me more coping methods. I write a lot now." He shrugged. "I think I'm ready to…do stuff again."

Itachi's eyebrows drew together and he shook his head. "It's too soon," he said. Sasuke's hopeful face fell, but he shrugged as though it meant nothing.

"It's up to you."

Itachi's eyes widened with surprise. Sasuke wasn't pushing him or demanding to be touched. He was actually…leaving it up to Itachi? What happened to the whiny, bitchy, needy little slut he was only a few weeks ago?

His little brother was growing up, wasn't he?

Itachi smiled and leant forward to kiss Sasuke again. The younger raven expected the kiss to be short and chaste, but was highly surprised when Itachi didn't pull away. It only took a couple more seconds for their previous neediness to resurface, and soon Sasuke's shirt was practically being ripped off of him. Once they broke their lips away so Sasuke could sit up and completely yank his shirt over his head, he smirked at Itachi, more than a little pleased at his brother's sudden change of heart.

"What happened to it being too soon?"

"I think you're ready."

Sasuke couldn't argue with that.

Instead of kissing him again, Itachi attached his mouth to one of Sasuke's nipples and sucked as hard as he could. Sasuke bucked his hips with a small mewl at the pleasurable jolt, but pushed his head away.

"No teasing," he whined, nearly causing Itachi to laugh. Sasuke's lust was pent up to the point of nearly bursting. His own hands and fingers would never be enough to fully satiate him.

The elder got to work on unbuttoning the younger's jeans, anticipation and excitement making his hands shake. Soon, he finally got them undone and pulled them off. Sasuke lifted his hips to help Itachi and the elder couldn't help the sense of  _relief_  that flooded him at seeing that Sasuke wore boxers again. He didn't know why, but such a little thing really made a difference. It was as though that proved he truly was getting better.

After pulling his boxers off and tossing them aside, Itachi sat back and pulled his own shirt over his head. He chuckled quietly at the lustful look in Sasuke's eyes as he dragged them over the elder's torso with obvious hunger.

"You're so perfect," Sasuke muttered, shifting his gaze to look at his own scrawny, underdeveloped upper body. Itachi shook his head with a sad smile then tossed his shirt away.

"You're absolutely gorgeous," Itachi said, leaning forward to kiss Sasuke quickly. "Never forget that."

Sasuke blushed and scowled as Itachi moved back and stood to remove his own pants. Soon they were off, along with his boxers. Sasuke eyes grew heavy and his cock twitched painfully at the sight of his brother completely naked. He was so beautiful… Sasuke wanted to burn the image into his memory forever.

The elder crawled on top of Sasuke, pressing their cocks flush against each other's. He wrapped a hand around both their arousals and fisted them leisurely while slowly grinding against his little brother. Sasuke bit his lip, trying his hardest to keep a loud moan buried in his throat.

"Aniki," he choked, shaking his head and thrusting his hips up harder. "Please!"

"Please what, Sasuke?"

The younger scowled at him. Was his big brother really pulling  _that?_

Itachi smirked knowingly and picked up the pace of his hips, causing Sasuke to cry out sharply.

"Shh, Sasuke," Itachi rasped, his voice betraying his pleasure. "Kaa-san is right down the hall."

Sasuke nodded with a small gasp as Itachi fisted their leaking cocks faster. He spread their pre-cum around, slickening them up and increasing their pleasure. His body shook at the feeling of Sasuke's hard flesh pressed so intimately against his own. He could barely breathe.

But it wasn't nearly enough to make up for the last three weeks.

Itachi pulled away and moved down, earning an angry hiss from Sasuke that turned into a small mewl as soon as Itachi's breath ghosted over his quivering length. The elder placed a small kiss at the head before lapping at every drop of pre-cum he could. He hummed deep in his throat at the wonderful taste, finding he'd missed it more than words could describe. He'd missed everything about being with Sasuke like this and could only hope he made the right decision.

A breathy, impatient mewl from above set Itachi back to work and he quickly swallowed his baby brother's cock, moaning deeply as it pressed against the back of his throat. He swallowed, earning a small buck of Sasuke's hips and a loud moan, then slowly slid back up until just the tip was left in his mouth. He locked eyes with Sasuke then dropped back down, not even pausing as he bypassed his gag reflex without really trying.

"Nngh, fuck," Sasuke whispered, his fingers finding purchase in Itachi's raven hair. He pulled out the hair-tie that kept it neat and tossed it aside, then brushed his fingers through it, gently coaxing his brother along. Itachi bobbed his head, alternating the power of his sucks as Sasuke mewled and gasped as quietly as he could.

At one particularly hard suck, Sasuke's hips bucked up farther than before and nearly gagged Itachi, though he responded by gently holding Sasuke's hips down. The younger whined in disappointment but soon moaned as Itachi increased the speed of his wonderful mouth over Sasuke's twitching cock.

As soon as Itachi brought a hand up to fondle Sasuke's balls, the younger felt his stomach coil almost painfully. His lips parted to try and form words, but all that came out were small moans that gradually grew louder until he shoved his fist in his mouth and bit down to mute his screams of pleasure.

His hips tried desperately to buck into Itachi's talented mouth, but the elder's grip wouldn't allow it. Sasuke's cock definitely grew a good bit in the past two years and Itachi didn't exactly favor choking. He did, however, bob his head as quickly as he could in an attempt to make up for holding Sasuke back.

A few more sucks, a few more well-timed licks, and Sasuke arched his back, biting at his fist to the point of breaking skin as he came. Itachi allowed him to bury himself as deep as he pleased, moaning as Sasuke's cum flowed into his mouth and trickled down his throat. The taste made his own neglected cock throb with desperate need and he brought a hand down to stroke himself quickly, just trying to alleviate some of the painful pressure.

As Sasuke gradually relaxed, the desire to return such a wonderful favor arose and he gently pushed Itachi's face away from his over-sensitive cock.

"Let me suck you off, too," he practically whined. Itachi smirked lazily and moved until his back rested comfortably against the headboard.

"I'm all yours."

Sasuke practically leapt across the small space and licked at Itachi's cock with fervor. He tongued at the head, his shaft, then moved down to lick at his balls, alternating with such speed Itachi had to hold his breath and close his eyes to keep from cumming embarrassingly early.

"You're qu-quite enthusiastic today, aren't you?" he choked, fisting the sheets as Sasuke licked up the vein on the underside of his rock-hard cock.

"It's been so long, Aniki…. You're just so  _big_  and you taste  _so good,"_  Sasuke moaned, his face flushed scarlet and practically nuzzling Itachi's leaking cock. The elder threw his head back with a deep groan. It looked like slutty Sasuke was out to play again, but Itachi couldn't care any fucking less at that moment.

The younger jerked Itachi as he lewdly sucked a ball into his mouth then released it with a small pop, only to repeat the action twice more. Growing bored with this, he turned his attention to the heavily-leaking head and swirled his tongue all around it, moaning shamelessly at the addictive taste of his Aniki's pre-cum.

"Holy fuck," Itachi gasped, gripping Sasuke's hair in a failed attempt to keep his quickly-dwindling sanity. Sasuke acted as though he was starved, desperate to taste all of Itachi. The younger, knowing exactly the effect he was having on his big brother, sucked the head into his mouth then dropped down, hollowing his cheeks the whole way until he reached his hand that was loosely wrapped around the base of Itachi's cock. He twisted it as his mouth dragged upwards so slowly Itachi's hips bucked and his mouth went slack.

Sasuke didn't even try to hold his hips down. He wanted Itachi to give him everything he had. The elder quickly established a rhythm with his hips that Sasuke tried his hardest to keep up with by dropping his head down every time Itachi thrust upwards.

The speed of the elder's hips increased until small, unavoidable choking noises could be heard every time his cock hit the back of Sasuke's throat only to slide down farther. Itachi was quickly unraveling, unable to deal with the pleasure of being taken so deeply with such ease. He dug his nails into Sasuke's scalp, causing the younger raven to moan wantonly around the cock buried deep in his throat.

Itachi couldn't take anymore, and with a barely suppressed moan, he came, his entire body trembling at the intensity of such a release. Mewling happily, Sasuke drank up every drop of his Nii-san's cum and sucked on his softening length until he was sure it was all gone. After this, he pulled back, a small trail of cum and drool dribbling down the side of his mouth. He wiped it up with his thumb then sucked it into his mouth, his eyes flitting shut as he savored the last taste of his big brother's pleasure. A few moments later, his eyes opened and he crawled up until he was face-to-face with Itachi. He smirked, his eyes shining with love and adoration for his beloved older brother.

"Did I do okay?" he asked, though he knew he did far better than okay.

Itachi nodded, still slightly out of breath.

"You always do amazing," he panted, smiling as his heart clenched in his chest. Sasuke beamed and kissed Itachi quickly, their soft lips pressing together lightly and innocently, a large contrast to their previous activities. The younger pulled back after a moment, smiling sweetly at his older brother.

His entire body felt relaxed, as well as his mind. No terrible memories tried to push at the surface only to be shoved back down with meaningless—and frequent—sexual encounters. He cuddled into Itachi's chest, his stomach fluttering lightly as the elder wrapped his strong arms around his skinny frame.

"I love you, Itachi-nii," Sasuke mumbled, his cheeks lightly pink. Itachi tightened his arms around his adorable Otouto, an elated smile pulling at his thin lips.

"I love you too."


	29. Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't listen to me when I say (write) things.
> 
> Obviously, if I say I'm not going to update something as often, I'm lying.
> 
> o n o
> 
> Thank Daelyn. She bribed me with angsty ItaSasu smut ft. Slutty!Sasuke wearing a skirt with no underwear and seducing a reluctant Itachi.
> 
> HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO REFUSE THAT
> 
> sO HERE.
> 
> no plot.
> 
> I regret nothing.

Sasuke sat cuddled on Itachi's lap, the elder's strong arms wrapped around him in a secure, comforting embrace. They had the house to themselves all day, seeing as it was Saturday, and all Sasuke felt like doing was spending time with Itachi. Everything felt perfect between them after last night and he just wanted to enjoy it.

"Do you want to do anything in particular today?" Itachi asked. Sasuke shrugged and snuggled a little closer, his face buried in the crook of Itachi's neck.

"Cuddle."

Itachi couldn't help but smirk. His brother tried to act all tough, but when it came down to it he was still the adorable kid he used to be. He just had a bit more of an attitude problem.

"You're so cute," Itachi muttered, lightly stroking Sasuke's back.

"Shut up!" Sasuke whined, pulling back so he could pout in his big brother's face. "I am  _not_ cute! I'm fourteen!"

"Still cute."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and collapsed back on top of Itachi. His big brother never stopped with the compliments, did he?

"You're too nice," Sasuke mumbled. "I still don't know why you put up with me."

"I put up with you because I love you, Sasuke," Itachi chuckled. Sasuke groaned and pulled back again.

"But I don't understand  _why_  you love me. I'm really not worth the trouble," he said, mumbling the last part. Itachi's face fell into a scowl and he quickly shook his head.

"You're worth everything to me." He nuzzled Sasuke's neck, earning a slight hitched gasp from the younger before pulling back and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'd die for you, Sasuke."

The younger's face immediately flushed a ridiculously bright red. His blush didn't stop there, though. It quickly spread from his cheeks down, painting his entire body a vivid scarlet.

"Don't say things like that!" he sputtered. Itachi shrugged and kissed him again.

"It's true. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Sasuke groaned. Why was his brother so, well…perfect? It's like Sasuke ended up with all the problems and Itachi was some unbreakable force that nothing could truly damage. He was so much stronger than Sasuke. But, in a way, they were good together. They balanced each other out.

"Stop saying cute shit," Sasuke hissed, his eyes narrowing into 'menacing' slits. Itachi lifted an eyebrow and leant forward, silently challenging Sasuke with his twinkling eyes.

"I can say whatever I please," he said, his hot breath tickling the younger's lips. Sasuke moaned quietly and bit at his sensitive lip, his eyes quickly becoming heavy as Itachi inched closer while smiling at him in that one particular way that set his nerves on fire.

"Really, Aniki?" he breathed, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Feeling a little bit mischievous, Sasuke grinded his ass down on Itachi's lap and the elder chuckled breathlessly, then rolled his hips in return. Sasuke mewled quietly at the sensation and rocked his ass again, only harder this time, and Itachi responded by gripping his hips and forcing his ass down as hard as he could.

"Yes, really," Itachi chuckled, his voice dropping to that low, raspy note that chased a shiver down Sasuke's spine. The younger moaned loudly this time and bounced on Itachi's lap, grinding his ass slowly over the quickly forming bulge with a wiggle of his hips. He continued this, Itachi responding by bringing his ass down harder and faster until they were practically dry-fucking.

"More," Sasuke choked, rubbing his ass desperately over Itachi's rock-hard erection and earning a pleasured hiss in return. The elder raven bucked up harder and Sasuke cried out, his erection straining painfully in the front of his pants. His eyes slipped shut and he moaned loudly. "Itachi-nii, please…"

With a small chuckle, Itachi brought his hand up to grab the nape of Sasuke's neck.

"Look at me…"

Sasuke did as was asked, cracking his hazy eyes slightly and moaning as their lips crashed together. Itachi kissed him quickly, hungrily, biting roughly at his bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth, coaxing moan after wonderful moan out of his little brother before gently pushing Sasuke off.

"Let's go upstairs," he growled. Sasuke nodded as he stood, his movements slightly clumsy as he followed his big brother upstairs. They went into his room, of course, and Itachi shut and locked the door behind them. They could never be  _too_  safe, after all.

Before Sasuke had the chance to walk any farther, strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him flush against Itachi's front. He moaned as he felt the prominent bulge rubbing against his crack and bucked back, gasping at the friction.

"Aniki," he gasped, "s-stop teasing me." He reached a hand up to tangle in Itachi's long raven hair and tugged, whining helplessly as the elder rubbed Sasuke's rigid cock over the front of his jeans.

"What do you want me to do to you, baby brother?" Sasuke moaned louder than before, bucking back with increasing urgency. The promiscuous misuse of the pet name made him feel so  _dirty._

"Just touch me," he whined, tugging harder at Itachi's hair, "please."

With a low growl, Itachi pushed Sasuke towards his bed and the younger fell onto it, smirking as he watched Itachi's control quickly unravel. He wondered what they would do today, how good it would feel…

Without any further instruction, Sasuke lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it aside then moved on to his pants. Even their kissing and grinding alone was enough to get him unbearably horny, and he didn't know how much longer he could wait before completely going crazy.

He slipped his skinny jeans over his ass, taking his boxers along with them, then kicked them to the floor. He refused to allow himself to feel embarrassed, and tried his hardest to summon the faux-confidence he used to have when trying to seduce Itachi, but simply couldn't. It was like that side of him never even existed. He smiled at the thought.

Itachi stripped quickly as well. Though the night before might have released some of the sexual tension that had built up, he still wanted to feel and taste his little brother everywhere. He threw his shirt aside, pausing only to appreciatively rake his eyes over Sasuke's naked form, then moved on to unbuckling his belt. Once he managed to do this, he unzipped and unbuttoned his pants then slid them and his boxers off.

At the sight of Itachi's stiff, pre-cum streaked cock, Sasuke whined and squirmed where he sat, begging with his eyes for Itachi to move closer and touch him.

"Big brother," he choked, biting his lip. Itachi, knowing exactly what Sasuke wanted, made his way over to the bed. He crawled on top of Sasuke and smiled at him, their faces so close they shared the same breath.

Itachi was in a bit of a teasing mood, so he trailed his hand down and lightly grasped Sasuke's hard, leaking cock, and gave it a couple of strokes.

"Do you want me to touch you here?" he asked, a small chuckle in his voice. Sasuke closed his eyes and bucked into Itachi's hand with a high-pitched mewl.

"Y-Yes!" he choked as Itachi repeated the action, tightening his fist as he stroked from base to tip. "Itachi," Sasuke moaned, rolling his hips again and again and arching his back off the bed. He clawed at the sheets and gasped, every touch sending sparks shooting through his entire body. Itachi continued to toy with Sasuke, not quite giving him what he wanted but pleasuring him nonetheless, until his own cock throbbed for attention.

"N-Nii-san…" Sasuke gasped, panting as Itachi finally withdrew his torturous hand. "W-Will you finger me?"

Itachi shivered, his own cock twitching at such a request. He responded by holding two fingers in front of Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke opened up and sucked the digits in, tasting some of himself, but swirling his tongue all over them and bobbing his head as he held eyes with Itachi. After a few more seconds of this, he released his older brother's fingers and moved back a little more, spreading his legs and exposing himself completely. He fought down his blush with desperation, but lost in the end. He was entirely red from head to toe, but Itachi found it nothing short of adorable.

The elder shifted down a bit and moved his hands to lightly spread Sasuke's ass cheeks, then traced his tight pucker with his index finger. He watched Sasuke's face with rapt interest while he slowly breached the tight ring, trying his best to be as gentle as possible. Sasuke easily accepted the intrusion and moaned once it was it to the knuckle, his lips parting with a gasp when Itachi curled his finger just right and brushed against that special bundle of nerves inside of him. He shivered as Itachi repeated the action, his eyes fluttering shut at the pleasurable burst of heat.

"Ahh, Aniki," he moaned, his entire body jerking as Itachi did it again, but slightly harder. He pushed his ass back impatiently, waiting for Itachi to add the second finger. He  _needed_  to feel fuller. "Come on."

Chuckling quietly at Sasuke's impatience, Itachi added the second finger, wiggling it and biting his lip as Sasuke's tight ass easily swallowed it up. Sasuke pushed back as Itachi began to thrust his fingers, panting and moaning and gasping every time he managed to brush against his prostate.

It felt amazing for Sasuke, just having his brother touch him so intimately, but he wanted more. He wanted more of a connection with his Aniki, not just meaningless foreplay. Not saying that everything they did was meaningless, but it wasn't really  _special._ At least, not as special as it would be if they…

"A-Aniki," Sasuke panted, though it was broken up by a loud, wanton moan as his sweet-spot was rubbed continuously. "C-Can we…go all the way? P-Please?" He arched his back, pushing more towards Itachi's fingers as he said this. The elder furrowed his brows, his eyes trained on Sasuke's entrance and his rapidly disappearing and reappearing fingers. He shuddered slightly as he imagined the tightness squeezing his fingers wrapped around his cock, just trying to suck him in as deep as he could go.

Thoughts of Sasuke's age and mental health entered his mind, but thoughts of the night before did as well. Sasuke was different, though he was still a bit lewd, but that may have just been part of his personality. It wasn't the same as when he was desperate for Itachi to fuck him just to push down the trauma. He wasn't begging Itachi to do anything without considering his feelings, which showed he'd grown up at least a little. He may have still been young, but Itachi was the same age when he lost his virginity to Konan. It was really a matter of maturity.

Itachi chanced a look at Sasuke's face, and that was the only push he needed. The smaller raven's eyes squeezed tight, his face a deep red, his hair splayed messily on the pillow behind him, his arms clutching the sheets above his head and his entire body jerking as Itachi fingered him expertly was simply too much for the elder to take.

He removed his fingers slowly, shivering at the wet noise that followed the action, and Sasuke whined dejectedly. He was frightened for a moment that he may have angered Itachi by asking, but when he opened his eyes he was met with the sight of his brother stroking himself, spreading pre-cum around his length while looking straight at him.

Itachi smiled.

"Are you sure?"

Sasuke's heart just about stopped in his chest.

_Is this really happening?_

"W-We can?" he asked, his voice high with disbelief. His cock twitched with excitement as Itachi positioned himself over him and kissed him deeply, and Sasuke wrapped his legs around Itachi, holding him closer. The elder rubbed the head of his cock teasingly around Sasuke's stretched entrance, using his hands to part his ass, and Sasuke bucked back, desperately craving the feeling of being filled completely.

"I think you're ready," Itachi whispered, his voice strained as Sasuke tried his hardest to impale himself on his length.

"Please don't tease me, Itachi-nii," Sasuke whined as Itachi pushed forward slightly only to pull back. Sasuke bit his lip as Itachi did it again, this time nearly popping through the first ring of muscle. Sasuke groaned in half pleasure and half frustration at his brother's cruel teasing, and yanked on Itachi's hair. He managed to pull out his hair-tie, but tossed it aside before glaring at his mean Aniki.

"It's going to hurt," Itachi murmured, a small smirk twitching on his lips as he watched Sasuke's desperation.

"I know that," Sasuke whined, pushing his ass back harder and rubbing against the cock he was just begging to have inside him. "But I can take it."

Itachi kissed Sasuke again and brought one hand up to find the younger's. He pushed it back from its place in his hair so it rested on the bed, then entwined their fingers together.

"Are you sure you're ready…to make love?"

Sasuke's heart fluttered in his chest and he smiled. Nothing, nothing at all, could ruin this one, perfect moment.

"Yeah," he whispered.

So Itachi pushed in, carefully watching Sasuke's face as he was fully breached for the first time. Sasuke's eyebrows scrunched up a little and he gripped Itachi's hand tighter, but he didn't complain. Why would he? He was  _finally_  getting what he wanted.

Itachi groaned in absolute pleasure—his brother felt completely  _perfect—_ but forced his eyes to stay open as he pushed into Sasuke's incredibly tight heat, inch after agonizing inch, until he was finally seated completely inside. Sasuke allowed himself a small whimper; he felt as though his body was being ripped in two. He squeezed Itachi's hand harder as sharp pains shot up his spine, nearly causing him to regret his choice. Though he tried his best not to make any more pained noises, Itachi could tell he was hurting pretty badly, and sighed.

"Are you alright?" he asked. It was taking every ounce of his self-control not to move, but he could tell Sasuke needed time to adjust.

"J-Just give me a minute," Sasuke whispered, flashing his best smile at Itachi. The elder's face fell with worry and guilt. He brushed some of Sasuke's sweaty hair off his face, trying his best to return Sasuke's pained smile.

"We can stop," he muttered. Sasuke's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically, tightening his legs around Itachi as a means to keep him exactly where he was.

"After waiting for so long, do you honestly think I'm gonna let a little pain get in the way? Tch." Sasuke rocked back slowly, trying to get his body warmed up to the idea of that large intrusion actually moving inside of him. He gasped, though it wasn't in pain once he managed to massage his prostate. " _So_  much better than your fingers," Sasuke moaned, throwing his head back as he continued to gyrate his hips, rubbing against his sweet-spot. "I feel so  _full."_

Itachi moaned quietly as Sasuke slowly rolled his hips again and again, pleasuring himself on his big brother's hard cock. Itachi shook with the effort of staying still, knowing he'd never be able to live with himself if he hurt Sasuke but wanting nothing more than to thrust in and out of the hot tightness squeezing and  _barely_ moving around his pulsing length.

"Please move," Sasuke whined as he increased the urgency of his rocking hips. "Please!"

Itachi pulled out halfway, then thrust inside, groaning as Sasuke's ass sucked him back in. Sasuke moaned so loudly it nearly echoed off the walls, and bucked his hips back. Pleased by this response, Itachi repeated the action, but pulled out until only the head was left inside before thrusting back in. Sasuke rocked back in time with him, panting and moaning ceaselessly as his sweet-spot was rubbed against over and over again. He gripped Itachi's hand tighter as their bodies rocked together in synchrony.

"Ahh~ I-Itachi," Sasuke panted, his face breaking into a smile as he saw the look on his brother's face. He looked like he was lost in complete bliss, his red lips parted and his eyes heavy. Itachi smiled the best he could manage and brought up a hand to play with Sasuke's hair, lightly pushing it off of his sweaty face.

"I-I love you…so fucking much," Sasuke moaned, closing his eyes as Itachi did  _something_  amazing inside of him.

Itachi's smile widened, his heart clenching in his chest at Sasuke's words. He leant forward and kissed his brother, though it was messy due to the power of his thrusting hips. He knew neither of them were going to be able to last much longer. He felt his release coiling in the pit of his stomach as Sasuke clenched and unclenched around him, proving he was close as well.

The elder brushed Sasuke's hair off his face again quickly, just looking at his beautifully flushed little brother.

"I love you too," he said before crashing their lips together once more.

He reached his hand down blindly, and once he found Sasuke's cock he grasped it, stroking quickly and matching his thrusts. He twisted his hand the best he could and thumbed at the head of Sasuke's cock a couple of times, just trying to push him towards release. Sasuke cried out against his lips as he came, his vision going white and back arching completely off the bed. Itachi couldn't hold himself back as Sasuke's ass tightened impossibly around him, and with a couple more thrusts he came as well. His entire body shook as he moaned out his climax, pulling his lips away from Sasuke to bury his face in the crook of his neck. He'd never felt anything like this before. It was never this intense with Konan.  _Never._

As he slowly came down from his climax, he pulled back to look at Sasuke. The boy was obviously struggling to stay awake, his eyes heavy and breaths short. But he looked so  _happy…_  Itachi had never seen a truer smile on his precious Otouto's face before that moment.

He couldn't help but kiss him again, everywhere he could. His face, his chest, his neck…

"I love you, Sasuke," he murmured in between kisses. Sasuke giggled uncharacteristically, but he couldn't help himself. His body felt so light and relaxed. Nothing mattered at that moment except his perfect big brother.

"I love you too," he said, smiling at Itachi when he finally faced him after kissing every part he could manage. Itachi leant in and kissed him chastely before trying to sit up. Sasuke, in a fit of panic, pulled Itachi back down onto his chest and tightened his legs around him.

"Stay," he muttered, tightening both his arms and legs around Itachi. "I wanna cuddle. "

Itachi chuckled and kissed him again.

"At least let me pull out so I can get more comfortable."

With a loud sigh, Sasuke unwound his legs from Itachi's waist. He winced a little as Itachi pulled out of his sensitive entrance, but tried to hide it. A couple seconds later and he found he didn't quite like the feeling of cum seeping out of his ass, but he could live with it, as long as he got to feel that amazing again. He grimaced at the cum splattered on his stomach as well, but then smiled. That just proved how much he'd enjoyed it.

Itachi lay down beside him on the bed and didn't waste a second before pulling Sasuke close to his chest. Sasuke sighed happily and gladly reciprocated Itachi's cuddles, nuzzling Itachi's chest with a huge smile on his face.

Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really love to hear what people thought about their first time. o n o I'm really nervous. Hmph.


	30. A Mother's Intuition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was wondering, this story is /NOT/ coming to an end anytime soon. I still have a good bit of shit planned. This story is still my baby. <3

"Mom's out with Tsunade today," Sasuke murmured, wrapping his arms around Itachi from behind and pressing his quickly-forming bulge against him, rocking slightly. "I know of a good way we could pass the time…"

Itachi chuckled, shaking his head at his baby brother's antics. He shut the cabinet he'd just placed a plate in and leant against Sasuke.

"Aren't you still sore?" he asked, his tone nothing short of amused.

Sasuke pouted, though he had to admit Itachi was right. He'd had trouble sitting at the dinner table last night, but thankfully their mother was too oblivious to notice. She was excited about her date with Tsunade and couldn't wipe the dreamy look off her face for a second.

"It was worth it," Sasuke grumbled. "But I wanna do it again."

"Even though you're still sore?"

"Come on, Aniki!" Sasuke whined, bucking against him and moaning softly at the friction. He leaned forward—though he had to stretch a little—and nipped at Itachi's nape, earning a small shiver from the elder. "I have needs, y'know," he said, smirking against the elder's neck.

Itachi sighed and resisted the urge to roll his eyes to the ceiling. What had he created?

"Please?" Sasuke whined, pouting slightly as he sunk to the flats of his feet. "I mean, we don't  _have_  to…it was just really nice when we did..."

A light blush spread across Sasuke's cheeks at the recent memory, and his lips formed a small, content smile. His stomach flipped and his chest warmed at the remembrance of being with his big brother so intimately; he couldn't have asked for a more perfect first time. Being with Itachi like that just felt so  _right,_  and he couldn't wait to feel that same connection all over again. He knew he'd never grow tired of it, no matter how many times they physically expressed their love.

Smiling slightly to himself, Itachi turned around, Sasuke's arms falling from around his waist as the younger stared at the ground, his blush still firmly in place. Itachi used a finger to tilt his chin upwards and smiled at his adorable, red-faced baby brother. Sasuke pouted violently at him, but couldn't keep it for long thanks to the amused, yet loving look playing on Itachi's perfectly handsome face. The younger's pout soon relaxed into a small smile that mirrored Itachi's as they locked eyes.

"It was really nice," Sasuke mumbled, shrugging as he tried to brush off some of the embarrassment that came with saying such a thing. "I just…enjoyed it a lot."

"I enjoyed it too," Itachi said, his smile growing. He leaned down and kissed Sasuke lightly, then moved his hand to cup the younger's face. With a contented little mewl, Sasuke leant into the kiss, quickly looping his arms around Itachi's neck to hold him closer. Itachi allowed himself to be drawn in nearer and couldn't stop a small moan from slipping out as he felt Sasuke's tongue swipe along his bottom lip, requesting entry. Instead of pulling away before things got any more heated, Itachi opened his mouth and allowed the smaller raven to do as he pleased. Inwardly rejoicing at his small victory, Sasuke deepened the kiss, his tongue twirling with Itachi's as he stepped a little closer.

"Ngghh…" Sasuke couldn't help the moan that escaped as Itachi's hand drifted down to palm the hardness still straining at the front of his pants. He grinded against Itachi's hand, his moans gradually increasing in volume as heat built in his groin with every rough rub. His arms tightened even more around Itachi's neck as he desperately rolled his hips again and again, mewling loudly with every sharp burst of pleasure.

Itachi broke away from their heated lip lock, panting slightly as he rested his forehead against Sasuke's, though he never once stopped the movements of his hand. Sasuke continued whimpering as Itachi rubbed him  _perfectly._

"Should we take this upstairs, baby brother?"

* * *

"You seem stressed, Mikoto."

The lady raven shrugged as she rubbed her temples. Tsunade was way too good at reading her; she always was, and probably always would be. Mikoto shot a small, forced smile at her girlfriend and shrugged again, her shoulders slumping forward as she leaned more weight against the table in front of her.

"It's just…" Mikoto sighed quietly, bringing one hand down from the fierce rubbing it was doing at her temple to stir her coffee with a spoon. She lightly nibbled on her bottom lip as she crossed and uncrossed her legs, unable to truly keep still with the churning in her gut. "Sasuke and Itachi's relationship still bugs me. It isn't as bad as when Sasuke went through that whole…" Mikoto gesticulated, one hand above her head as she searched for the proper word, " …'slutty' phase, but there's no denying that something just doesn't feel right."

Tsunade's face fell with concern. She didn't see Mikoto's boys very often, but from the times she had seen them she could tell that they were closer than most brothers. Sasuke did always cling to Itachi...

"Do you think they're romantically involved?" she asked, her cheek resting on her hand and her eyebrows drawn together in concern.

Mikoto's heart plummeted in her chest as she heard those words spoken aloud. She'd thought them countless times, of course, but actually hearing them was something unbearably painful.

"I-I don't know," she choked, wringing her hands in her lap. Tsunade reached across the small table and brushed a lock of loose hair off Mikoto's pretty face. She tucked it behind her ear, smiling reassuringly as she met Mikoto's watery gaze.

"What would you do if they were?" she asked. Mikoto's hand came up to her hair to rest against Tsunade's. Her lower lip trembled slightly as a few stray tears slipped from her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away with the back of her free hand. Now wasn't the time to cry.

"I don't know that either," she whispered with a small shrug. "What if Itachi's taking advantage of him? He's only fourteen."

"Do you really think Itachi would do that?"

Mikoto pursed her lips into a tight line as she thought it over. Would he? After everything he went through as a child, would he use his own brother that way?

"It seems unlikely that Itachi would ever do anything to hurt Sasuke," Tsunade continued. "He loves that kid."

Mikoto nodded, smiling a little as some of the pain in her chest dissipated. Itachi loved Sasuke, though he might not love him in a way that was completely…appropriate. But Mikoto didn't have any  _real_  proof, though her suspicions were too large to ignore any longer. She sighed dejectedly, slowly moving Tsunade's hand down to the table and lacing their fingers together.

"Why don't you talk to them when you get home?" Tsunade suggested, rubbing small circles on the back of Mikoto's hand with her thumb. She smiled kindly at her girlfriend and Mikoto tried her best to return it, not wanting Tsunade to worry too much about her. She was a strong woman. She'd been through a lot, and she could go through a lot more.

"I guess so," she whispered.

Tsunade squeezed her hand reassuringly, sighing quietly to herself. She'd hate to see their family torn up over something like this. Though she didn't really know how to feel about the possibility of an incestuous relationship, she could tell Mikoto's boys cared a lot about each other. She could only hope everything would play out alright in the end.

The rest of their date consisted of idle chatter and light-hearted small talk, and soon it was over, leaving Mikoto with nowhere to go but home.

"You'll be fine," Tsunade said, pressing a light kiss against Mikoto's forehead as they got ready to part ways. She wrapped her arms around the lady raven and Mikoto reciprocated the hug, squeezing tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too," Mikoto said, a tiny smile pulling at her lips.

* * *

Itachi's tongue feverishly mapped out the inside of Sasuke's willing mouth, and the younger wrapped his legs around the elder, grinding harshly against him and panting with the effort as his hands tugged at Itachi's hair. He was so hard it fucking  _hurt,_  and all he and Itachi had been doing was making out.

"Nii-san," Sasuke growled, pulling away slightly and rolling his hips against the elder's groin. "Fuck me."

Itachi hummed deeply and pressed his soft lips against Sasuke's once again, increasing the urgency of their rocking hips until Sasuke was moaning ceaselessly against the elder's lips.

Itachi's hand snaked under Sasuke's shirt and moved upwards until it came in contact with a pert nipple. Sasuke hissed and bucked his hips harder as Itachi twisted it between his thumb and forefinger.

Sasuke broke their lips away, his hazy eyes meeting Itachi's equally clouded eyes as he moaned. With a lusty smile, Itachi rolled his hips again, watching, completely enthralled as Sasuke's lips fell open with a breathless, high-pitched mewl. Itachi repeated the action, pleased when it earned him a lust-drenched moan and a slight arch of his baby brother's back as well as a harsh tug of his hair.

When Itachi pulled away from Sasuke, the younger tightened his legs around him as a means to keep him exactly where he was, but all he earned for his efforts was a small peck on the nose and an amused chuckle. Grumbling slightly, Sasuke loosened his legs and allowed Itachi to sit up, then soon found his shirt nearly being torn off him. Sasuke smirked suggestively and lifted his arms above his head to help his Aniki along, biting his lip once Itachi pulled it off and raked his eyes over his exposed torso lustfully.

After throwing the shirt aside, Itachi reattached their lips with fervor and Sasuke responded by wrapping his legs around the elder once more, moaning in relief once their clothed erections met again and they quickly reestablished their old rhythm.

"I love you, big brother," Sasuke gasped, his mouth opening in a silent moan as Itachi's mouth drifted down to suck on his neck, though he was careful not to leave any noticeable marks. Itachi licked over the small, quickly fading red mark he managed to make, then pulled back so he could place a light kiss on Sasuke's lips.

"I love you too."

Itachi pressed his lips against his baby brother's again, but harder, and Sasuke threaded his fingers through his brother's hair, moaning shamelessly and tugging at it as he urged Itachi along. He knew he'd go insane if he didn't get relief soon.

Neither of them remembered to lock the door in their haste to touch each other. Neither of them heard the door creak open. Neither of them saw their mother enter the room. They only pried their lips away from each other, dread settling deep in their chests, when they heard a shocked gasp.

Sasuke felt his chest burn painfully and his throat tighten to the point he could barely breathe as he locked eyes with their mother, as did Itachi. The elder slowly sat up, Sasuke's legs falling limply away from him, a complete contrast to only moments ago.

"Mother…" Itachi said, his normally smooth and controlled voice cracking just slightly. He tried to swallow away the lump in his throat, but found it only got worse as their mother's silence continued. Her eyes were wide as she took in the remnants of the scene before her.

Thoughts of walking in on Fugaku and Itachi all those years ago sped through Mikoto's mind, but as she took in Sasuke's appearance—he obviously hadn't been forced to do anything he didn't want—and remembered Tsunade's words, she found the truth slightly less terrible, but unsettling nonetheless.

Her sons were sexually involved.

Her  _sons._

"I-Itachi...I'm going to have to ask you to leave for the night," Mikoto said, her voice wavering just slightly. She flinched back at the vicious glare Sasuke threw her way, all thoughts of their mending relationship thrown out the window with that look alone, but stood strong in her decision. She just needed some time to process everything. She was shocked, though her intuition proved completely right and softened the blow just a bit.

With a small, mechanical nod, Itachi slowly stood from the bed and crossed his room to his dresser. He quickly grabbed a change of clothes, along with his phone and wallet off the top, and threw them into the backpack next to his dresser. He picked it up and swung it onto his back, then made his way towards the door—but not before Sasuke ran over and hugged him quickly, his arms almost vice-like around Itachi's waist.

"Don't make him leave!" he yelled, angry, frightened tears streaking down his cheeks as he glared at Mikoto. Would he and Itachi be separated for good? His arms tightened even more at the thought, and Itachi brought his hands to rub Sasuke's back, sighing silently as the terrified boy cuddled closer to him. Sasuke trembled with desperation to stay with his Aniki; Itachi was the only thing that kept him sane. What was he supposed to do without him?

"This is  _my_  house," Mikoto gritted out, though inside her heart broke at the sight of Sasuke so upset. Just when he'd been getting better, too… She hated herself in that moment, but what else was she supposed to do?

"It's alright, Sasuke," Itachi muttered, lightly brushing some of his hair off his forehead. Sasuke turned his teary gaze to his big brother, sniffling slightly as his arms tightened even further.

"Itachi-nii…" he sniffled, trying his hardest to suck it up but failing miserably as tears slipped down against his wishes.

Itachi tried his hardest to smile, though he felt sick with fear of his precious little brother being taken away from him. Itachi would have no true reason to live if Sasuke was no longer in his life. He'd never truly recover from having his brother stolen away from him, but he hoped that their mother would calm down. He didn't want to anger her in any way, and knew leaving as she asked would be the best decision.

"It's alright, Sasuke," Itachi repeated, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. Mikoto flinched at the sight, all previous innocence stripped away from such an action.

Sasuke's shoulders shook with sobs as Itachi tried to pull away from him, but he allowed him to. He knew their mother wouldn't let him stay, not when her mind was already made up.

Itachi tried to think of anything else but the present situation as he took small, careful steps across the room, but just as he almost reached the door he quickly turned around and crossed the small space between Sasuke and himself. He wiped some of Sasuke's tears away with the pad of his thumb and smiled gently. He wanted nothing more than to tell his baby brother everything was going to be okay, but he didn't have the heart to lie to him.

"I love you, Sasuke," he said as he leant down and kissed him quickly. Tears slipped out of Sasuke's closed eyes and he shook as he felt Itachi's lips knead lightly against his own. All too soon, Itachi pulled back and crossed the room once more. He slipped past Mikoto who shot him a look akin to complete bewilderment, but surprisingly, not disgust.

She bit her lip as she slowly turned her gaze back to her youngest, his expression exuding pure hatred and contempt for the woman he called his mother. They locked eyes for a few moments, glare against pleading gaze. Mikoto refused to flinch back again, but it got more and more difficult with every passing second; she withered under Sasuke's malicious stare. Finally, Sasuke shook his head, the edges of his lips curving into a sarcastic sneer as he laughed a short, humorless laugh.

"You fucking bitch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make Sasuke a little cunt.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading, and comments and kudos are much appreciated!


	31. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating quickly because I'm a nice fucking person.
> 
> I'm making my friend wait for me right now just so I can post this. She's a good friend, obviously.
> 
> Thanks so much for all the nice reviews and stuff~~ Hopefully this chapter turned out okay. Thanks to Daelyn for helping me proofread.

"You fucking bitch."

Sasuke shook violently, but not just from fear anymore. He grit his teeth, angry beyond reason now that Itachi wasn't there to calm him down. He'd never hated his mother more before that moment, not even when he was convinced she was the cause of his molestation.

"I fucking hate you," he spat, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Mikoto clenched her fists; though she was torn due to her guilt of reducing Sasuke to such a tear-streaked, shaking mess, his language and blatant disrespect didn't sit well with her.

"Watch your mouth, Sas-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Sasuke yelled, new tears pooling in his eyes though he wiped them away with haste. "You ruin everything, you know that?!"

Mikoto bit violently at the inside of her mouth until it hurt, then took a deep breath. She'd never been more thankful for those breathing exercises Tsunade taught her before that moment.

"You need to respect me," she said, surprisingly calm despite her anger. "You have no right to talk to me the way you do."

Sasuke scoffed, rolling his eyes before settling his piercing gaze back on Mikoto.

"You have no right to kick Itachi out without even giving us a second to explain ourselves," he hissed.

"What is there to explain?" Mikoto threw her hands up. "I walked in on my _sons_  kissing! How the hell are you supposed to explain that, Sasuke?!"

"He's my boyfriend, so what?" Sasuke snapped, clenching his fists tightly. "What's so terrible about that, huh?!"

"It's immoral for one," Mikoto said, trying her hardest to keep her calm demeanor. "And you're only fourteen. How do you know he's not...t-taking advantage of you?"

Sasuke's mouth fell open and he nearly laughed. Itachi, taking advantage of him? ...Really?

"You're even stupider than I thought you were," Sasuke muttered, shaking his head. Mikoto bristled, but held herself back. Sasuke just wanted to rile her up. "Do you have any idea what you're saying? Do you know how  _long_  it took to convince Itachi-nii to actually be with me?"

"That doesn't make a diff-"

"Why don't you try listening for once instead of jumping to conclusions?" Sasuke hissed. Mikoto flinched back, but stayed silent. She decided she may as well let Sasuke explain himself.

"Do you remember back when I was eight? When I asked you about the weird way I felt around a certain person and you said I had a crush?"

Mikoto's eyebrows scrunched up and her eyes grew unfocused as she wracked her brain for that seemingly ancient memory. It took her a moment, but then fuzzy images played through her mind and she nodded.

"I remember," she said.

"I was talking about Itachi."

Mikoto's eyes widened. He'd had feelings for his older brother for that long?

"I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember," Sasuke said, smiling slightly to himself and staring at the ground. "But he was so worried about us being together. He threw up after our first kiss." Sasuke's smile faltered as he remembered watching Itachi through the crack in the door. He'd felt so guilty. He thought he'd disgusted Itachi.

Mikoto stood in the doorway, unable to utter a single word as she listened to what Sasuke had to say.

"He told me about what dad did to him." Sasuke dragged his eyes from the ground and locked eyes with Mikoto. "He told me that's why we couldn't be together. But I guess my persistence won out in the end," he said, a small laugh in his voice as he mumbled the last part.

"You know about what happened?" Mikoto asked, though her voice was nearly a whisper. She figured Sasuke would find out eventually, but she didn't know Itachi had told him.

Sasuke nodded and took a few steps over to Itachi's bed. He sat down and patted the space next to him, though he didn't make eye contact with Mikoto. She slowly stepped over to the bed and sat next to Sasuke, but he still wouldn't look at her. She didn't really blame him.

"He wouldn't actually commit to me until after the whole...Orochimaru thing happened because he wanted me to keep my options open. He didn't want me to make a mistake by being with him when I still had my whole life ahead of me." Sasuke shot a short look at Mikoto. She stared at the ground, simply trying to process everything she was being told.

"He wouldn't even kiss me that often because he was scared of losing control," Sasuke continued. "I would beg him to, but he always stopped himself before things went too far. Even after the Orochimaru thing, he still refused to go all the way with me, even though he'd do...'stuff' with me to make me feel better."

Mikoto brought her thumb to her mouth and nibbled on the nail as she waited for Sasuke to continue.

"He...he didn't want me to regret my first time, I guess. I wasn't in a good place, but he helped me get out of it. Even when I threatened to leave him just because he wouldn't have sex with me, he never gave up on me. He was even willing to go all the way just so I'd stay with him, then I had that panic attack..."

Mikoto sighed. She knew something sexual must have triggered it. Everything made sense now.

"We didn't touch each other for weeks...but then I guess he thought I was ready. We finally...did it, and I don't regret a single thing." Sasuke finally turned his full attention to his mother. "I love him, mom. He's the only thing that keeps me sane."

"But..." Mikoto lowered her thumb away from her mouth and placed her hands in her lap. "You're brothers. I-It isn't right for you to be...sexually involved."

Sasuke's face darkened.

"Do you have  _any_  idea of what I've put him through? Cutting myself, nearly  _killing_  myself,  _starving_  myself, throwing myself at him..." Sasuke shook his head. If he was Itachi, he would have given up years ago. "If that's not love, I don't know what is."

Mikoto kept silent for a couple of moments, but then her face scrunched up with confusion.

"...Starving yourself?"

"Yeah," Sasuke mumbled, his eyes darting quickly to the ground, "but I'm working through it now. If it wasn't for him, I'd probably be in the hospital  _again."_

After a few minutes of heavy silence, Mikoto stood quickly. She decided she'd heard enough.

"Just give me the night to think things over, okay?" she said as she tried to lean down and kiss Sasuke on the forehead. He flinched away from the action, nearly snarling at Mikoto for getting so close to him. With a sigh, she pulled back and made her way towards the door. "I love you, Sasuke."

"Whatever."

Shaking her head sadly, Mikoto stepped into the hallway and softly closed the door behind her. After walking the short distance to her room, she reached into her pocket and fished out her cell phone, then flipped it open. She scrolled through her contacts for a moment before pressing 'call' and holding her phone to her ear, slowly sinking onto her bed as it rang.

She needed to talk to Tsunade. She had absolutely no idea of what to do. Obviously, her sons loved each other. Anyone could see that, and after hearing Sasuke out she realized just how much Itachi cared for him. Her morals were the only thing keeping her from calling Itachi up and telling him to come back home that very night, and she only hoped that talking with Tsunade would give her some direction.

In Itachi's room, Sasuke cuddled himself under the heavy covers, sniffling quietly. Now that their mother was gone, his anger quickly dissipated and all he was left with was terrible, aching loneliness. He felt completely empty without Itachi next to him.

What was their mother going to do? Was she going to separate them for good? Sasuke could only hope he'd explained himself well enough, but he doubted he had.

He buried his face in Itachi's pillow, and though the smell of his big brother was comforting, it made him even more lonely. Why did they have to forget to lock the door? He felt so stupid.

The pillow was soon soaked with Sasuke's tears. They fell quickly, stinging his eyes and wetting his cheeks as they slid down, but he couldn't make them stop. His heart broke more and more as his mind spewed forth different scenarios of his and Itachi's separation, and he couldn't even make himself get out of bed to eat dinner when Mikoto came in to check on him an hour or so later. He only hoped Itachi wouldn't be too angry that he'd skipped a meal.

He fell asleep when his mind and body were too exhausted and all his tears were shed, tightly clutching the comforter that smelled like Itachi close to his chest as he slowly drifted off.

* * *

"So...you,  _Uchiha Itachi,_  got kicked out?"

Itachi rolled his eyes and nodded for what felt like the thousandth time that evening.

"Yes, Deidara, I got kicked out for the night and I need a place to stay. Now are you going to let me in or not?"

The blonde shrugged and stepped aside, allowing Itachi to walk into the living room of his small apartment. Upon seeing Konan reclined on the couch, Itachi's eyebrow twitched just slightly, but he smiled nonetheless.

"How have you been?" he asked, slipping off his shoes near the doorway. She shrugged, her blank expression unchanging.

"Fine. And you?"

"I got kicked out, so I've been better," Itachi gritted, setting his backpack on the ground next to the couch once he reached it.

"Oh? What for?"

Itachi sighed.

"My mother walked in on me and Sasuke in a compromising position."

Konan's eyebrows shot up and her mouth opened just slightly at Itachi's blunt admission. Usually he didn't admit to things so freely, so needless to say, she was surprised.

"Well, I'm...sorry. That's unfortunate."

"Yeah." Itachi nearly rolled his eyes, but restrained himself.

Deidara waltzed into the living room after shutting the door behind Itachi, one eyebrow cocked in confusion. He stood next to the raven, his eyes flitting from him to Konan as he searched for an answer.

"Your little brother, Sasuke?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes, Deidara. My little brother."

Deidara still wore a mask of total confusion that only a smack upside the head from Itachi broke. He yelped sharply, clutching his head at the unexpected violence.

"He's my boyfriend," the raven muttered, lowering his hand back to his side. Deidara tilted his throbbing head, still horribly confused, before shaking it off.

"Whatever, yeah... You can sleep on the couch and there's food in the fridge," he mumbled, rubbing at the bump rising before making his way into the bedroom near the back of the apartment. Itachi couldn't remember ever being more thankful for having Deidara as a friend. Leave it to him to not even care about learning his closest friend was in an incestuous relationship, with his little brother no less.

"I hope everything works out," Konan said, a small smile twitching on her lips as she stood to follow Deidara to the bedroom. Itachi turned his sights back towards her and nodded, trying his hardest to return her smile.

"Thank you."

* * *

Sasuke kept his eyes shut tight as he slowly woke up, memories from the night before washing over him like a wave. He didn't want to wake up. He wanted to go back to sleep, where nothing hurt and he didn't have to think about opening his eyes to an empty space beside him.

"Sasuke, wake up..."

Sasuke's eyes flew open. He suddenly registered the warm arms tightly wrapped around him and his eyes focused in on the face of his beloved older brother. His eyebrows drew together as his barely-conscious mind tried to process this wonderful awakening.

"Wh...What?

Itachi chuckled quietly and leant forward, pressing a gentle kiss against his sleepy Otouto's forehead before leaning back again and smiling at him.

"Mother called me this morning and told me to come home. She said she wanted to talk as a family."

Sasuke's eyes fluttered closed and he smiled so wide he was sure his face would break in two. He almost felt like crying again, but this time it definitely wasn't from sadness. All the anxiety he felt last night was completely erased, replaced by so much happiness he almost couldn't handle it.

When his eyes opened he leant forward and kissed Itachi lightly, and the elder responded by pulling Sasuke closer and deepening the kiss. He'd almost been afraid he'd never be able to kiss Sasuke like this again, and the relief he felt doing so was immeasurable.

"Ahem..."

The boys pulled away from each other to look towards the doorway. There stood Mikoto, blushing slightly as she stared at the wall.

"I hope I'm not...interrupting anything."

Itachi shook his head and slowly untangled his arms from around Sasuke, then sat up. The younger sat up as well, though he wasn't very happy to see their mother and his glare made that abundantly clear.

"I made breakfast, if either of you are hungry..." she said, dragging her eyes away from the wall and smiling the best she could. She ignored Sasuke's angry gaze, and pattered out of the room.

She hadn't even gone to sleep yet, though it was almost nine a.m. She stayed up talking to Tsunade off and on all night until around seven in the morning, which was when she called Itachi and told him to come home. She apologized for kicking him out, but he said he didn't blame her for doing such. Her reaction could have been a lot worse, after all, though she still felt guilty.

"What happened?" Sasuke asked as he stood. Itachi shrugged and stood as well, but pulled Sasuke into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around him and sighing as he felt Sasuke's arms wind around him in return.

"She said you two talked last night, and she ended up calling Tsunade later. They discussed the situation, and came to the conclusion that separation wasn't the best way to go about things. It wouldn't be healthy for either of us."

Sasuke nodded into Itachi's chest, nuzzling him a little and squeezing his arms tighter. Sasuke could barely even handle being away from Itachi for a day, let alone permanently. He was so glad their mother understood.

After standing together for a few more moments, they made their way downstairs together, hand in hand, and sat at the table. Mikoto sighed as she noticed their fingers laced together on the tabletop. Even a day ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about seeing such a thing, but now she knew it meant something entirely different.

"So," she began, poking at the pancakes she made and trying her hardest to sound pleasant. She was absolutely exhausted, but she knew they needed to deal with this situation before she got any sleep. "You guys are officially dating...correct?"

Itachi nodded.

"We've been together since Sasuke was twelve."

Mikoto bit at her bottom lip and sighed, placing her fork down next to her plate. She wasn't very hungry.

"And that's when the...sexual aspect began?"

Itachi paused for a moment, then nodded again.

"It was a means to get Sasuke's mind off the trauma, but then it got a little...out of hand. But we're past that now, so it's a moot point."

Mikoto nodded. She didn't really want to discuss her sons' sex lives, let alone their sex life  _together._

"Well, I just want to tell you guys that even though I might not understand your relationship..." She locked eyes with Itachi, then Sasuke, and smiled as reassuringly as she could. "I love you guys, and I only want you to be happy. I'll try my best to be as accepting as possible. It...It might take me some time to get used to it, but I swear I'll try. You're my sons, no matter what...I'm not going to let something like this get in the way of being a good mother."

"Thank you so much," Itachi breathed, squeezing Sasuke's hand a little tighter.

"Of course," Mikoto said. She looked at Sasuke and saw that the hatred in his eyes wasn't as fierce. He flashed a small smile at her and shrugged before turning back to his breakfast.

So he'd forgiven her.

Mikoto nearly cried with relief. Perhaps their relationship was still salvageable after all.

Breakfast sped by, and after leaving her boys to tend to the dishes, she settled into bed, ready to take a much deserved nap. Just as she began to drift off, her phone rang loudly, yanking her back from the brink of unconsciousness. With a groan, she flopped over and flipped it open, pressing it to her ear.

"Hello?" she mumbled groggily.

"Mikoto?"

Her eyes flew open and she jolted upright in bed, suddenly wide awake.

_No way..._

"F-Fugaku?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M STILL AN ASSHOLE.
> 
> NO FUCKS GIVEN.


	32. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapters have been a bit short lately. :c I don't plan enough material to make it stretch to 3,000 words a lot of times, though I wish I did.
> 
> By the way, updates come faster when I have plans, and I've planned for about the next 4 or so chapters! XD Isn't that great?
> 
> Okay. Hopefully this turned out alright. c:

As Mikoto shakily shut her phone and placed it aside, she was left with more confusion than she'd felt in a good while. What on Earth had possessed that man to call up after so many years?

_"Mikoto?"_

_"F-Fugaku?"_

_"Yeah...it's me."_

_She blinked feverishly, unable to truly process the fact that this...man (barely) had the nerve to call her after all he did._

_"What do you want?" she snapped. The man on the phone sighed almost as though he was tired, but responded quickly._

_"A second chance," he said in a rushed breath, "to be a father to my kids. I know I fucked up-"_

_"That's an understatement, Fugaku," Mikoto hissed. "You ruined his childhood."_

_"I-I...I know I can never make up for that. I was sick, but I'm better now. I'm on parole, thanks to good behavior and even better lawyers. I'm...I'm not expecting you to say yes, but I've missed out on_ so much _Mikoto. How old are they now? Nineteen, fourteen?" Fugaku fell silent and Mikoto absentmindedly nibbled on her thumbnail, waiting with bated breath while the man pleaded for something he had no right to._

_"They're still my sons, even though I definitely haven't been a father. Just...would you give Itachi this number? He can call me, if he ever feels like it. I doubt he will, but please..." Fugaku sighed hugely. It seemed like his speech was over. "I'll let you go now. Bye, Mikoto."_

_Then the line went dead._

So here Mikoto sat, perched on the edge of her bed, head in her hands as her mind flooded with absolute bewilderment. He wanted to be a father? He had no right to be such, not after all he'd done to Itachi.

Mikoto shakily stood to her feet, all thoughts of her mid-morning nap gone from her mind. As she soundlessly emerged from her bedroom, she found the sight of her sons standing in the bathroom, smiling contently. Sasuke was dressed in his school uniform as Itachi draped his arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly with obvious affection while Sasuke messed with his spiky hair. Mikoto's face fell and she swallowed reflexively; her throat felt much too dry. She hated to be the bearer of bad news, but...

"Itachi?"

Itachi glanced up, his eyebrows scrunched with worry as he noticed the obviously distressed state of their mother. He unwound his arms from around Sasuke, who whined as he did so, and joined their mother in the hallway.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he approached, his tone hushed to keep Sasuke from hearing. Mikoto sighed and ran a shaky hand through her messy hair. She hadn't showered yet, though that was the furthest thing from her mind.

"I just received a rather...interesting phone call."

Itachi quirked an eyebrow.

"Interesting?"

"Fugaku called."

Itachi's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up. His mouth gaped and shut as he tried to find his voice again, since it seemed to have abandoned him the second that terrible name was mentioned.

Their father? After seven years?

"My...father?"

Mikoto nodded, wringing her hands together nervously.

"He actually had the nerve to call up and ask that we give him...a second chance," she practically laughed, though it came out more choked than anything. "He wanted me to give you his number, then he just kind of...hung up."

"How..." Itachi swallowed and wrapped his arms around himself. He rubbed at each arm, shifting nervously on his feet. "How did he get out of prison?"

"'Good behavior and even better lawyers,'" Mikoto mumbled. "Those were his exact words."

Sasuke crept up behind the two, interested in their hushed, seemingly important conversation. After he noticed how upset Itachi seemed, he wrapped his arms around him tightly, trying to project all the comfort he could into that simple embrace.

"Are you shaking?" he asked, completely surprised. What could have gotten Itachi this upset?

Itachi shook his head, flashing a small, unconvincing smile towards Sasuke as he took a huge, steadying breath.

"Tou-san called," he said, his voice surprisingly steady despite his slight trembling.

Sasuke's disbelieving face was priceless at that moment, though neither Itachi nor Mikoto were in any mood to laugh.

"Why the  _hell_  did he call?"

Mikoto ignored his language; after all, it  _was_  the first question that popped into all of their minds.

"He wants a second chance," Mikoto said. "He wants to be a father to you boys."

"Tell him to fuck off!" Sasuke snapped, tightening his arms protectively around Itachi. Just the thought of that man touching  _his_  big brother made his skin crawl and his temper flair violently.

"I suppose I could do that," Mikoto muttered, a small smirk twitching on the corners of her lips. "Is that what you want, Itachi?"

Itachi shrugged dismissively. He was a bit shell-shocked, and that was putting it lightly. Just knowing their father was out of prison,  _free,_  was disconcerting, and memories tried to push at the carefully-constructed walls he'd built over the past several years. He didn't want to remember; he didn't want to relive it.

"Hey, Sasuke," Mikoto said, eyeing her youngest. He turned to face her, one eyebrow cocked as he waited for her to continue. "You don't have to go to school today. You're late anyway, and I figure I may as well stay home from work since I'd be going in late as well."

Sasuke grinned, but kept his arms firmly wrapped around Itachi. He wasn't shaking anymore, but Sasuke was still worried about him.  _Nothing_  upset Itachi like this unless it had something to do with, well, Sasuke. But that was about it.

"Would you guys like to spend the day as a family?" Mikoto asked, trying her hardest to sound happy. Within the past twenty-four hours she'd learned that not only were her sons in an incestuous, barely-legal relationship, but her ex-husband—a convicted child rapist—wanted to reconnect with his family from some sick sense of nostalgia. Sometimes she wondered how she managed to stay sane.

Itachi nodded, slowly breaking out of his haze. A family day was what they all needed. A day to relax and not think about upsetting things would do them well, especially after everything that happened recently.

"I'm gonna go change," Sasuke said, reluctantly unwinding his arms from around Itachi as he made his way into his bedroom. He quickly shut the door, leaving Mikoto and Itachi to stand alone in the hallway.

They stood in silence for a few moments as Itachi gradually lowered his arms to his sides, trying his hardest to push away the memories bubbling at the surface.

"I still can't believe you're alright with me and Sasuke's relationship," Itachi muttered, desperate for a change of subject. Mikoto threw him a half-smile and shrugged the best she could.

"I mean, yeah, it'll take some getting used to, but all that really matters to me is that you two are happy," she said. "And hey! Now I don't have to worry about Sasuke bringing boyfriends home to meet us," she added, smiling playfully. She shrugged again, then brought Itachi in for a hug.

"I just wish you guys would have been honest with me," she mumbled as she rubbed Itachi's back. Though, the real question was how she hadn't caught them sooner. _I'm so oblivious..._

"And how would you have responded to that?" Itachi asked as he brought his arms up to reciprocate Mikoto's hug.

"Don't ruin the nice moment, honey," she gritted, tightening her arms until the hug was near-painful. Itachi choked slightly at his mother's aggressive display of love, but kept silent for fear of incurring more of her wrathful affection.

"I'm ready," Sasuke said, pushing the door open. Mikoto quickly released her tight hold on Itachi, much to his relief, and turned to face her youngest. Sasuke was dressed in a blue, sleeveless shirt and white, knee-length shorts, a stark contrast to his clothing choices even a month ago. Itachi smiled slightly, the last of his Fugaku-induced anxiety fading away as Sasuke moved to hug him  _gently_  and place a small kiss on his cheek. Mikoto quickly turned away. She wanted to be supportive, but it was just so _strange._

"Would you boys like to go out for lunch?" she asked, turning to face them once she thought it was safe. "I know it's a little early, and we just ate, but I'm sure we can find something to pass the time until we get hungry."

Both boys nodded and Mikoto smiled. Hopefully today would be the distraction they all needed.

"Well, let me just grab my purse, then we can leave."

* * *

They decided to wander through the nearby park to pass the time. Sasuke and Itachi held hands, since it was something they did often, but Mikoto knew it was the only way they could really display some of their affection for each other in public without being harshly ridiculed. She felt a little sad when she really thought about it. Not only did her sons have homosexuality going against them, they had incest as well.

They could never be open about their relationship without fear of hate.

Even though she was still adjusting to knowing that both of her sons were romantically—and sexually—involved, she could already tell that they loved each other. They'd been through much more than many other couples had to go through, especially at their ages. What they had was something incredibly special and Mikoto felt privileged to be able to understand, if only a little, and she could only hope that eventually she'd be able to offer her full support.

After walking around the park for an hour or so, they decided to go to lunch. They drove for a bit, Itachi and Sasuke cuddled up in the back, until they reached a small cluster of stores and restaurants. They eventually picked a new sushi place, and went inside.

Sasuke grumbled as he stared at his food, but made himself eat, which earned him a small peck on the forehead and a "thank you" from Itachi. Mikoto watched the action closely, though she couldn't help but find it sweet. Itachi really cared about Sasuke, that much was obvious. She silently cursed herself for not noticing Sasuke's declining eating habits sooner, but decided not to let it get to her. She couldn't help that she was working most of the time, nor could she help the fact that she was only human. She couldn't be a perfect mother, no matter how much she wished she could.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Sasuke grumbled after he forced down another piece of sushi. Itachi sighed and shook his head.

"You only ate two pieces."

"So?"

"Eat, Sasuke."

Sasuke pouted and placed his chopsticks on the table defiantly.

"I'm full."

"No you're not."

Sasuke opened his mouth to protest again but was silenced by a quick peck to the lips that left him red-faced and speechless. Mikoto herself blushed at the small action, but took comfort in the fact that no one was paying any attention to their small booth in the back of the nearly-empty restaurant. Itachi shot a quick look at her, almost as though he was going to apologize, but Mikoto held her hand up to silence him.

"It's fine," she said with a warm smile as she waved her hand dismissively. Itachi soon returned her smile with a small, one-shouldered shrug.

"I just don't want to make you uncomfortable," he muttered. Mikoto placed her chopsticks on the table as she took her last bite, chewing thoughtfully.

"You haven't," she said, though that was partially a lie. "I'm honestly glad that you two are so happy."

Itachi couldn't help but smile. "I'm really glad you see it that way," he said, shooting a look towards his pouting Otouto. Sasuke stared at the plate of food in front of him, but begrudgingly picked up his chopsticks and set about eating once more.

"Thank you," Itachi said again, unable to resist the smile pulling at his lips. Sasuke glared at him with a tiny huff as he brought a piece of sushi to his mouth, but ate it nonetheless.

Mikoto smiled when Itachi wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close and placing a small kiss on his temple.

Her sons really seemed perfect together.

* * *

After lunch, the three headed home. Mikoto was practically falling asleep at the wheel, thanks to not getting a wink of sleep the night before, and though she wanted to spend the day with her kids, she realized that was a bit impossible at the moment. Neither of her boys really minded this. Sasuke was too caught up in snuggling next to Itachi, though the elder was a bit distracted.

All throughout lunch, though he tried his best to hide it, Itachi couldn't stop thinking about what his father wanted. He was curious, to say the least, and he knew his mind wouldn't stop spewing infinite 'what ifs' unless he got the answers he so desperately wanted.

"Can you give me the number?" he asked suddenly after they arrived home. Mikoto paused with one foot on the bottom stair and shot a confused look over her shoulder. She turned to face him completely, her eyebrows scrunched with worry.

"Are you sure, honey?"

Itachi nodded, though this earned him a glare from Sasuke.

"Why do you want to talk to him?" he asked, lacing his fingers through Itachi's and squeezing. He didn't want Itachi to have to go through talking to that man again. Sasuke knew if he was given the chance to talk to Orochimaru he definitely  _wouldn't._  Of course, the situation was slightly different seeing as he had no blood relation to the creepy man, but still; he never wanted to see his face again, let alone hear his voice or  _speak_  to him.

"Curiosity," Itachi muttered. Sighing quietly to herself, Mikoto whipped her phone out of her pocket, Itachi following suit, then read the number aloud. After he entered it into his phone, Itachi smiled as convincingly as he could at Mikoto.

"Don't worry about me," he said. "If I get upset, I'll just hang up. Simple as that. Plus, I'll have Sasuke with me."

Mikoto nodded with a small, worried frown, but ascended the stairs to the quiet of her bedroom. Lord knows she needed a nap more than ever; she couldn't remember being this exhausted for a long while, and her body craved the feeling of a soft mattress and warm blankets.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sasuke muttered as he followed Itachi to the couch. Itachi squeezed his hand tighter as they sat down together.

"As I said before, if I get upset then I'll just hang up. No harm done."

This didn't appease Sasuke in the slightest, but he decided to let Itachi do whatever he felt like doing. He could only hope it wouldn't end up backfiring.

So Itachi pressed 'call' and held the phone to his ear. As the it rang and rang, he bit at his lip and squeezed Sasuke's hand again, just trying to get his heart to stop trying to hammer its way straight out of his chest. His anxiety was near-crippling, only cushioned by the fact that his baby brother sat next to him, holding his hand tightly and unwilling to let go.

Just as Itachi was about to give up, his call was answered. There was the sound of movement on the other end, before a gruff, but all-too-familiar voice spoke.

"Hello?"

And then the flashbacks began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I love torturing you people. I'm evil. o u o
> 
> I'm seriously just waiting for someone to be like: "CODY I AM SO DONE WITH YOUR SHIT *FLIPS TABLE*"
> 
> Also, DID ANYONE NOTICE THAT I KINDA LIKE PLOT TWISTS? JUST A LITTLE?
> 
> And I shall explain all the shit with how the fuck Fugaku got his Itachi-rapin' ass out of prison, don't worry.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Kudos and comments make me very happy c:


	33. Unwelcome Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter has some disturbing content.
> 
> :c
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Skip the flashback if it bothers you. ;-;
> 
> Thanks to Daelyn and Rayne-chan for helping me proofread c: I'm not super happy with this chapter, but oh well.
> 
> BY THE WAY. I'M REWRITING OLD CHAPTERS. Like, making them suck less. Yay! I completely revised the first chapter, so if anyone wants to read that and tell me what they think, that'd be pretty awesome cx
> 
> Enjoy~

_Itachi padded through the front door of the house, shutting it behind him and quickly slipping off his shoes once he made it inside. After he neatly placed them on the rack, he walked into the living room, shooting a small smile at his father as he saw him reclined on the couch. The man dragged his eyes away from the newspaper he'd been perusing at the sound of his son's entry, and returned Itachi's smile the best he could despite his excitement._

_Mikoto had just started a new job, one that required extended hours. She wouldn't be home as often, and Fugaku was more than happy for this. Finally,_ finally, _after wanting Itachi for so many years, nothing stood in his way. Sasuke was even taking a nap, which meant they'd have no distractions._

_"Did you have a good day at school?" he asked, setting the newspaper down beside him. Itachi nodded, a slight bounce in his step as he closed the small distance between himself and Fugaku._

_"Yes, father," he said as he slipped his backpack off his shoulders and onto the ground._

_Fugaku gulped; every innocent action from Itachi only fueled his lust for the boy. How could someone so young and naive be so alluring? He shifted uncomfortably, his pants suddenly feeling much tighter than they had before his son's arrival. He knew his patience would soon wear thin, so he decided against drawing things out. He'd waited long enough._

_"Well, your mother won't be home for a while...how about you and I play a game to pass the time?"_

_Itachi peered up at his father with large, curious eyes, tilting his head just slightly with a small bit of confusion._

A game?

_"I guess that would be fun," he replied, his voice quiet and respectful, though his smile still stayed in place. He was excited for whatever this 'game' was._

_Fugaku stood and held out his hand for Itachi to take. The small boy laced his fingers through his father's, though he wondered why his father seemed to shiver at the small contact. Was he cold?_

_Fugaku quickly lead the small boy upstairs to his and Mikoto's room, figuring this would be the best place seeing as they had the biggest bed in the house. All niceties were done away with once they reached there and he roughly shoved Itachi towards the large bed in the center of the room, earning a small yelp from the confused child as he stumbled towards it._

_Fugaku shut and locked the door behind them, causing Itachi to look at him strangely once he finally regained his balance. Why would he lock the door?_

_Itachi was confused as to why his father had suddenly stopped being as gentle as he was only a few moments ago. His dad never pushed him before, and Itachi felt his bottom lip tremble and his eyes begin to burn from being on the receiving end of such a harsh action._

That hurt...

_Fugaku snickered a bit, amused by Itachi's suddenly teary eyes. He stalked towards the boy, the grin stretched across his face growing as Itachi's trembling worsened with every step he took._

_Once he stood in front of Itachi, Fugaku roughly pushed him onto their large bed and quickly crawled on top of him, pinning him down with his larger body._ _Itachi wiggled desperately, trying to push his father off of him. He was really heavy, and Itachi felt something hard poking against his stomach. He hadn't the slightest clue of what it was, but it made him nervous, especially when his father began rubbing against him and making strange noises._

_"T-Tou-san? What are you-"_

_The tiny raven was cut off by his father's lips crashing onto his own and a hand hurriedly undoing the clasp of his pants. Itachi tried his best to wiggle his way out of his father's grasp, but he was held back by a hand much larger than his own despite his violent squirming._

_"Stop struggling, Itachi, or it'll just hurt more," Fugaku chuckled, pulling away from his son's soft lips just slightly. How many nights had he dreamt of this moment?_

_Itachi tried to move his arms, his legs,_ anything, _but he was held back as Fugaku pressed more of his weight against his small body, pushing him deeper against the bed. Their combined weight dipped the mattress slightly, only adding to Itachi's feeling of being trapped._

_"Please, dad," Itachi whimpered. "Stop! I-I'm scared."_

_Itachi's eyes brimmed with tears that had yet to be shed as he shook under the strong hold of his father. Fugaku smiled, his mouth stretching into a smirk even wider than before as he began to play with Itachi's soft hair, though nothing about the action was soothing. After a moment of simply enjoying the pleasant view of his son vulnerable and terrified, Fugaku leant down until his breath ghosted over Itachi's ear, his smirk still in place._

_"Good."_

_Then Fugaku's hands were everywhere at once. He shoved his calloused fingers under Itachi's shirt, moaning at the softness of his skin while his other hand continued fumbling with the boy's zipper. Itachi was so young, so pure..._

_Growing impatient, Fugaku leant back, removing some of the dead weight off Itachi, though just barely. The boy tried to use this to his advantage, wiggling violently and squirming the hardest he could, but yelped as his pants were practically ripped off him. He heard the terrible sound of fabric tearing, and this multiplied the burning in his chest to the point where he almost felt like throwing up._

_"Please stop!" he sobbed, completely terrified as his father pulled not only his pants—which were surely torn—but also his boxers over his small hips and threw them aside, then climbed back on top of him. He tried to kick, but his legs were weighed down. He tried to punch, but his wrists were pinned above his head. His watery eyes widened as he locked gazes with his father, whose grin was bigger than ever._

_"Wh-Why are you smiling?" Itachi whispered, burning tears slipping down his cheeks. Did his father like hurting him?_

_All he earned in response was a small, throaty chuckle._

_"Stay still."_

_Itachi nodded quickly. Though he wanted to get away more than anything, his father's actions instilled a fear he never knew existed in his heart. He didn't know what would happen if he disobeyed now that his father was so different. He just wanted everything to be over so he could go check on Sasuke..._

_He lay completely frozen, though tears still fell as he watched his father lift his shirt over his head, then throw it onto the ground. He stayed still even when Fugaku stood to remove his pants and underwear, leaving him completely naked._

_Itachi's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his father's most private place. Why was it so big, and why was it sticking up like that? He dragged his eyes away from the odd appendage, only to lock gazes with his father once again. The man's eyes were heavy as he stared at Itachi, anticipation and excitement coursing through his entire body._

_"Take off your shirt."_

_Itachi nodded mechanically and sat up to complete the task, though his shaking arms made it difficult. Fugaku soon grew impatient with Itachi's slow and clumsy pace and yanked his shirt over his head, causing Itachi to cry out sharply from surprise and slight pain._

_The shirt was soon dropped and Itachi was pinned back down again, Fugaku's lips pressed firmly against his own. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, trying his hardest to keep tears from slipping out, though they managed to anyway. His eyes flew open, however, when he felt something-his father's tongue?-slide along his bottom lip. He kept his lips pursed tightly together when his father repeated the action, much to Fugaku's displeasure._

_"Open your fucking mouth," he growled against Itachi's unresponsive lips. Itachi whimpered, but parted his lips slightly, hoping that was what his father wanted. He squeaked with surprise as he felt his father's entire slimy tongue shoved inside his mouth, nearly gagging him. He brought up his arms and tried to push at Fugaku's chest to alleviate some of the uncomfortable closeness—that strange hardness was rubbing against his stomach again—, but found he was much too weak._

_Every small noise Itachi made was like music to Fugaku's ears, and his desire for the boy grew with every passing moment. He wanted to be inside Itachi—he wanted to be inside him_ now. _But as he continued to explore Itachi's sweet-tasting mouth, the urge to have him put that shy tongue to use_ elsewhere _arose, and he pulled back._

_He pulled all of his weight off Itachi and sat, his legs open wide._

_Breath slowly returned to Itachi in the form of tiny pants as he tried to recover from the lack of air. He almost hoped their game was over, and his heart sunk in his chest as he heard his father's voice pipe up from the foot of the bed._

_"Come here."_

_With a small sniffle, Itachi sat up and did as he was told. He crawled over to his father, his arms shaking as he sat in front of him._

_"I want you to suck on this," Fugaku said, wrapping a hand around his length and giving it a short pump. "Don't. Bite."_

_Itachi nodded quickly, fearful of angering his father. But why did he want him to...?_

_Itachi yelped as his head was shoved forward, leaving him face-to-face with his father's manhood. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion; what was that clear, shiny stuff?_

_"Lick it."_

_With a small, defeated whimper, Itachi darted his tongue out and lapped at the side of his father's length. He grimaced at the weird, acerbic taste but didn't have a chance to voice his complaints as his head was shoved forward again, this time pushing him even closer._

_"Open your mouth, Itachi."_

_His father's voice sounded so strange, so deep and raspy. Itachi found he didn't like the sound very much, but did as he was told. His father's grip on his hair was tight and painful, a harsh reminder to behave._

_So, with tears blurring his vision and his stomach hurting so badly he was sure he was going to puke, Itachi opened his mouth._

"Nii-san?"

Itachi was gripping the phone so hard his knuckles were white. His chest felt like it was being compressed, like heavy rocks sat on it, weighing him down, and every breath was a struggle to take as memories consumed him. He stared blankly at the wall as he hyperventilated, though he didn't see anything but those hazy scenes from when he was a boy.

Sasuke gently shook Itachi, lightly slapping his face with his free hand as he tried to break him out of whatever trance he fell under.

"Aniki!" he said. "Snap out of it!"

Itachi jerked back, his hold on the phone loosening so quickly he nearly dropped it, but he caught himself at the last second. He blinked a couple of times, his eyes unfocused as he turned to face Sasuke.

"Hello?" the voice on the phone repeated, growing agitated. He'd been waiting for a response for nearly a minute now and was about to hang up.

"Give him a chance, goddamnit!" Sasuke hissed; he could hear their 'father's' voice loud and clear, though he wasn't on speakerphone. "He just spaced out!"

The unseen man on the side of the phone fell silent for a moment, before realization slowly sunk in.

"Itachi?"

"I-I'm here," Itachi said, trembling just slightly. "I'm s-sorry about...that."

"What happened?"

Itachi bit his lip. This had been a terrible idea.

"A flashback," he replied honestly.

Fugaku didn't respond for a few moments; Itachi almost thought he hung up until he heard a long, drawn-out sigh.

"I know this doesn't even begin to make up for it, but I'm sorry."

Sasuke bristled, gritting his teeth in anger as he all but tore the phone away from Itachi.

"You're fucking  _sorry?_  What the fuck kind of-"

"Calm down, Sasuke," Itachi muttered, unclasping their hands only to loop his arm around Sasuke, holding him tightly. "Give him a moment."

"Aniki," Sasuke pouted, though he leaned against Itachi's chest. Why was his brother even talking to this man? It was masochism at its best.

"He's got quite a mouth on him..." Fugaku said.

Itachi would have smirked if he wasn't recovering from such a terrible flashback. He still trembled a little, though the feeling of Sasuke pressed so close to him helped him greatly.

"I called to talk to you about what you told our mother."

"Ah... Well, it's true. I really do want to be a father to you boys, if you'll let me. Seven years to think about what you've done wrong can change a man."

"It wasn't long enough," Sasuke hissed, earning a disapproving glare from Itachi.

"Be nice, Otouto."

"You still call him that?"

Itachi smiled slightly and nodded, though he soon realized Fugaku couldn't see the action.

"Yes," he said.

"So you two are still close?"

Sasuke smirked, nuzzling closer to Itachi.

"You could say that," he said, cuddling to Itachi's chest. "We're  _really_  close."

Itachi nearly rolled his eyes.

"He and I have maintained a healthy relationship," he said. Well, it wasn't a  _total_  lie.

"That's good," Fugaku breathed. "I'm glad to hear that. Are you in college now?"

"Yes," Itachi said. "I'm studying psychology. I hope to help children who've withstood similar...circumstances growing up."

"That's good of you," Fugaku muttered, his voice noticeably darker. "Well, I'm a little busy right now, but do you think we could arrange a meeting?"

Itachi stopped to think about this, ignoring the disapproving glare Sasuke shot his way. If only hearing the man's voice was enough to trigger a flashback that bad, what would seeing him do? But some small part of Itachi yearned to know what it was like to have a father. Though he still had some memories from before the sexual abuse started, they were recorded through the eyes of a child, therefore hazy and unreliable. He wanted to experience it as the young man he was, as odd as that might sound.

"Alright," he finally said, "where would you like to meet?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is fucking short. ;-;
> 
> I'm sorry
> 
> ugh
> 
> I'm sick and unmotivated *flails*
> 
> Thank you for reading c:


	34. Why not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so distracted while writing this. I kept watching "I'm on Crack" by the Left Rights and I just couldn't focus. But after Rayne-chan and Daelyn and Nicki screamed at me for a bit, I got it done.
> 
> Yay. O u O
> 
> Well, this chapter's pretty long o.o I guess it sorta makes up for the past few chapters being short? MAYBE?
> 
> On to the chapter!

Sasuke reached for Itachi's hand under the table and squeezed it tightly. Itachi wouldn't stop tapping his foot and shifting uncomfortably, almost as though he couldn't keep still.

"We can still leave," Sasuke muttered. Itachi frowned at him, but clutched his hand tighter.

"I'm curious," he said, causing Sasuke to groan.

_Not this again..._

"That's no reason to do this to yourself."

"He's still our father," Itachi said.

"Only by blood," Sasuke hissed.

"Just give it a chance."

"Why do you want this so badly?"

Itachi shrugged and gripped Sasuke's hand a little tighter. He tried his hardest to smile reassuringly, though he was having a difficult time telling  _himself_  that everything was going to be alright.

"Things will be fine."

They fell into silence after that. Sasuke pouted to himself, resting his head on his palm while he stared at the door of the restaurant. He didn't want to see that asshole, not after the hell he put Itachi through.

After a couple more minutes of waiting, it seemed like Fugaku wasn't going to show up.

"Can we leave?" Sasuke asked, perking up a bit at the thought of never having to see their bastard of a 'father' again. Itachi shook his head, which only caused Sasuke's face to fall once more.

Then, a man walked through the front door of the restaurant. He looked older, of course, and his hair was a little grayer, but there was no denying that it was  _him._

Itachi bit the inside of his cheek as he started to tremble just the slightest bit. He wanted to push down the memories this time, and he was pretty confident that he could do so.

But then Fugaku locked eyes with him, and smiled.

_Itachi yelped, though it was muffled as his father shoved his length into his opened mouth. Fugaku hissed at the sharp jolt of pleasure, humping up harder, just trying to get Itachi to take him deeper. Itachi's mouth felt so warm and soft around him; he was in complete bliss._

_Itachi choked as the intrusion was forced deeper, gagging at the acerbic and salty taste as tears slipped out of his eyes and slid down his rosy cheeks. He choked even worse, however, when it pressed against the back of his throat, triggering his gag reflex. He tried to pull away—he felt like he was going to puke—but his father's grip on his hair kept him exactly where he was._

_Fugaku forced Itachi's head down rhythmically, panting and moaning quietly as pleasure coiled in his gut. Itachi clutched the comforter as hard as he could as his tummy churned and churned, making him more nauseous by the second. He hated throwing up, but he knew he was going to._

_"Shit, Itachi. You're a good little cocksucker, aren't you?"_

_Itachi whimpered, though it turned into a gag as his father's length hit the back of his throat again and again. His arms trembled and he balled his fists in the comforter as tightly as he could, trying to hold back the tears that burned his eyes and wetted his cheeks. He just wanted their 'game' to be over._

_One particularly hard thrust later and Fugaku finally came, shooting his seed into Itachi's mouth. Itachi tried to pull away, but was held there by his father's vice-like grip on his hair despite his violent struggling. He whimpered helplessly as a strange, salty, gooey substance filled his mouth and flowed down his throat. He swallowed, though it only hurt his aching stomach more._

_Fugaku finally loosened his hold on Itachi's hair, and Itachi pulled away, gasping for air. Fugaku smiled at the red-faced, panting little boy and patted him on the head._

_"Good job, Itachi," he said, smiling wider as Itachi shook terribly. The tiny raven whimpered as Fugaku wiped away some of his tears with the pad of his thumb, his father's touch scaring him more than anything after what he was forced to do. "Now put your clothes back on like a good little boy."_

_Itachi nodded, tears still slipping out of his eyes without any hope of stopping as he stood to his feet, still shaking, and gathered up his clothes, torn pants and all. He ran to the door and unlocked it quickly, crying harder as Fugaku chuckled at the difficulty he had doing so while he trembled, then swung it open and ran to the hallway bathroom. Once there, he slammed and locked the door behind him, dropped his clothes, then hunched over the toilet, heaving violently as his stomach wretched. He couldn't remember ever feeling more sick before in his life. He clutched his eyes shut, tears falling to mingle with the water in the toilet as his body desperately tried to purge itself._

_He heaved until his tummy was completely empty, then cracked his watery eyes open just the smallest bit. There was some strange white stuff in the toilet along with whatever he'd eaten earlier, and he figured that must have been the warm, salty stuff he was forced to swallow. He shivered as his tummy churned again, but he knew he wouldn't be able to throw up anymore no matter how much he wanted to._

_After flushing the toilet he shakily stood to his feet, wiping away his tears with the back of his fists, then looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy and his lips were swollen, but he tried to suck it up. He didn't understand what his dad just did or why he seemed to like it so much, but all he could hope was that it wouldn't ever happen again. His throat and tummy hurt more than he ever knew they could. He was miserable._

_He redressed himself quickly, though he sighed as he noticed the state of his pants. They ripped at the seam, meaning they needed to be stitched up. Furrowing his brow in annoyance, he slipped his boxers and t-shirt back on then unlocked the door and pattered out of the bathroom._

_Fugaku stayed in his and Mikoto's room, much to Itachi's relief, and he decided he'd go back to his own room to find new pants—but then he heard the smallest utterance of his name, and turned to investigate._

_Sasuke stood at the door of his room, rubbing his eyes with the back of his fist, a tiny smile on his lips at the sight of his big brother._

_"'Tachi-nii!" he repeated. A smile broke across Itachi's face as soon as he laid eyes on his sleepy Otouto and his chest swelled with warmth, thoughts of the terrible, scary thing that just happened fleeing from his mind._

_"Did you have a good nap?" he asked as he walked to the door. Sasuke nodded, yawning, and wrapped his arms around Itachi the tightest he could._

_"Sleepy," he mumbled. "'Tachi-nii..." He nuzzled Itachi's stomach, sighing happily._

_"Why don't you go back to sleep?" Itachi said, petting Sasuke's soft, rebellious hair with his free hand and smiling wider as the little boy sighed happily again._

_"With 'Niki!" Sasuke said, pulling back and pouting adorably._

_Itachi smiled so wide his face hurt as Sasuke pulled him by the hand into the bedroom and to his bed. Sasuke sat down, pulling Itachi with him, then laid down and cuddled up under his comforter._

_"Nap?" he asked. Itachi nodded, throwing his torn pants onto the floor, then slipped under the covers of the small bed next to Sasuke. The tiny boy immediately cuddled as close as he could to Itachi, giggling quietly to himself as Itachi wrapped his arms around him._

_"Love you, 'Niki," Sasuke yawned, his heavy eyes slowly slipping shut. Itachi's stomach fluttered and he nuzzled the top of Sasuke's head, placing a gentle kiss there._

_"I love you too, baby brother."_

"Aniki!" Sasuke said, shaking Itachi slightly. Fugaku regarded them curiously as he stepped closer, his eyes darting between the two of them.

"Is he alright?" he asked as he took in Itachi's spaced-out expression.

Sasuke ignored their father in favor of shaking Itachi again, desperate to snap him out of whatever it was he was remembering. He knew it couldn't be good, not if it involved their father.

"Come on!"

Itachi blinked a few times, his cloudy eyes drifting to Sasuke's face as a tiny smile pulled at his lips despite his remaining anxiety. He'd forgotten all about that part...

"I love you," he said quickly, startling Sasuke.

"I...love you too?" Sasuke said, his head tilting just slightly.  _He doesn't seem as upset as before..._

Fugaku sat in the seat across from them, sliding in quickly. Itachi's eyes drifted from Sasuke to their father, and he smiled the best he could regardless of the uncomfortable tightening in his chest.

"Are you okay?" Fugaku asked, his brow creasing with worry. Itachi shrugged.

"I'll be fine," he said. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at their father, scooting closer to Itachi as he stared at the detestable man.

"So why'd you come back?" he asked. "Didn't you do enough damage the first time around?"

Fugaku's face darkened and his eyes narrowed. Itachi sighed and squeezed Sasuke's hand in warning, though all he earned was an indignant pout.

"It's an honest question," Sasuke said, shrugging.

"I just wanted to apologize," Fugaku said, trying his hardest to keep his tone pleasant, "for everything I did."

"Like  _raping_  my big brother? Yeah. Apology not accepted."

"Sasuke," Itachi sighed, "be nice."

"I was really sick, but I'm better now," Fugaku continued, choosing to ignore Sasuke's harsh words. "I've been through a lot-"

"Not enough," Sasuke hissed. Fugaku glared at him. He didn't like his attitude one bit and it was pushing on his patience.

"Anyways, I've changed a good bit-"

"Like hell you have."

Fugaku clenched his fists on the tabletop, glaring at his youngest son. Did the boy have no manners?

"Perhaps we should reschedule," Itachi murmured, shooting a pointed look at his protective baby brother. "I don't believe we're going to get anywhere today if Sasuke keeps this up."

"Nii-san," Sasuke whined, wrapping his free arm around Itachi. "It's just because I love you."

Fugaku watched the whole exchange, rather confused by their obvious...closeness. He figured they would have grown out of such blatant expressions of affection by their ages, but apparently he'd been wrong.

"I love you too, Otouto, but you're being mean." Itachi brought his other hand up to play with the younger's hair. Sasuke shrugged, burying his face in the front of Itachi's shirt. Smiling softly, Itachi turned his attention back to Fugaku.

"Would you be alright with rescheduling a meeting for just the two of us?" he asked. Fugaku nodded.

"That's fine," he said. "I'm free tomorrow."

Sasuke shot one last glare at Fugaku. He didn't want Itachi to go by himself, but he knew he'd be unable to stop him and there was  _no way_  he could be nice to this poor excuse for a man.

"You better not lay a hand on my-"

"Sasuke."

"Sorry."

* * *

"So how did it go?" Mikoto asked as her sons walked into the living room. "You two are home early."

Sasuke pouted and trudged to the couch, Itachi following close behind.

"Apparently they had to reschedule because I was being mean," Sasuke said, glaring at Itachi. The elder rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch next to Sasuke, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close.

"You _were_  being mean."

"He deserved it."

Itachi sighed, shaking his head.

"You've never been good at forgiving people."

"He doesn't deserve to be forgiven."

The corners of Mikoto's lips twitched as she listened to their exchange. Sasuke's protectiveness was kind of adorable, she had to admit.

Itachi kissed Sasuke's temple and rubbed his shoulder gently, smiling to himself as Sasuke leaned closer.

"I love you, baby brother."

Mikoto flinched just slightly. It felt strange to her that they still referred to each other by their childhood nicknames regardless of their...unusual relationship. But she supposed some things never truly changed.

"I love you too," Sasuke mumbled, blushing a little.

"Just be careful, Itachi," Mikoto said, trying to shake off the oddness she felt before. "I know you're practically an adult, but I'm still going to worry."

Itachi nodded, his smile faltering. "I know," he said, "but I can handle it."

* * *

"Please don't see him again," Sasuke mumbled, cuddling up on top of Itachi as they laid in bed later that night. "I'm just gonna worry."

"There's no need to," Itachi said, wrapping his arms around his little brother. "Nothing's going to happen."

"But he makes you upset!"

"I can deal with it," Itachi murmured, rubbing Sasuke's back. Sasuke sighed, but then decided he really didn't feel like thinking about their assholish father anymore. The better part of two days had been spent revolving around Fugaku and Sasuke was damn sick of it. What could take his mind off of things...?

"Hey," he said, a small smile curling his lips. "Wanna have sex?"

Itachi shut his eyes and exhaled loudly. Leave it to Sasuke to  _completely_  change the subject.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Itachi felt a smirk pulling at his lips as he opened his eyes. Sasuke did have a point.

"We got interrupted last time, anyway," Sasuke continued, wiggling himself until their groins barely brushed. "I  _really_  want you inside me again, big brother."

Itachi groaned quietly, sliding his hands from the small of Sasuke's back underneath the waistband of his boxers. Sasuke gasped at the unexpected action, then moaned lightly and pushed his hips back as Itachi started to squeeze.

"P-Please?"

"You're not sore anymore?"

"I don't care."

Smiling slightly to himself, Itachi rolled his hips, causing Sasuke to gasp again.

"You want your big brother inside you, hm?" Itachi asked, teasing slightly.

Sasuke moaned—he felt so _dirty—_ and nodded fervently.

"So fucking bad."

He leaned down and kissed Itachi deeply, bringing his hands up to tug on his big brother's loose raven hair. He grinded against Itachi, mewling into his mouth as their hardening groins brushed again and again, heating his body up to the point where he felt like he was burning.

"Am I your naughty little brother?" he whispered against Itachi's lips, grinding harder and pulling at his brother's hair. Itachi's cock twitched and he growled, roughly kneading Sasuke's ass and grinding against him as hard as he could.

"I don't know," he rasped. "Why don't you show me how naughty you can be?"

Sasuke moaned—perhaps a little too loudly—and quickly nodded. A slow smile stretched across his lips and he sat up, whimpering sadly when Itachi's hands slid out of the back of his boxers, but wanting nothing more than to show Itachi  _just_  how bad he could be.

He sat back on the bed, then slowly slipped his boxers over his hips and threw them onto the ground, leaving him completely naked. Itachi propped himself up on his elbows, smiling lustfully as his baby brother's hard cock came into view, glistening with pre-cum and just begging to be touched.

Laying down on his back, Sasuke slowly trailed his hands down his torso, stopping to twist his own nipples and biting his lip as he locked eyes with Itachi. He smiled and arched slightly before letting his hands wander down farther. Itachi watched, his breath catching in his throat as Sasuke wrapped pale fingers around his wet cock.

"Big brother," he moaned, pumping slowly while his other hand drifted down to fondle his balls. "Am I naughty enough?" He gyrated his hips, gasping as he played with himself.

Itachi swallowed, unable to tear his eyes away from such an arousing sight. His own cock strained for attention at the front of his boxers, a small wet spot forming the longer he watched Sasuke touch himself. Itachi's breaths grew shallow and his eyes grew impossibly heavy as Sasuke stroked himself teasingly, his lusty eyes still locked with Itachi's.

"Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer," Sasuke teased, though it was more of a moan than anything.

Itachi smirked and reached to his bedside table for his phone, much to Sasuke's amusement. Was he  _really_  going to take a picture?

Apparently he was.

"Such a dirty little brother," Itachi murmured, causing Sasuke to bite his lip and pump faster. Itachi snapped a picture, smiling to himself at the beautiful sight of his baby brother shamelessly touching himself. He knew he'd enjoy looking at it later, just remembering this night. But for now, his patience was wearing thin.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked. Sasuke nodded. "Do you want to ride big brother's cock?" Sasuke mewled and pumped faster, bucking into his hand.

"Please—God, please!"

Chuckling darkly, Itachi shut his phone and placed it back on his bedside table. He quickly slipped out of his own boxers, kicking them onto the floor, then crawled over to Sasuke. He held two fingers in front of Sasuke's lips that he happily opened his mouth to suck on, hollowing his cheeks and licking all over, obviously teasing the elder. Itachi bit his lip; his breaths came short as he watched Sasuke's every action closely.

He pulled them away when he felt himself reach his limit and sat back. He watched Sasuke's face as he parted and kneaded his ass, tracing the twitching pucker with his index finger before slowly— _slowly—_ pushing it in. Sasuke bit his lip, throwing his hands above his head and leaving his cock unattended as Itachi's finger breached him. Itachi's cock twitched as the incredibly _tight_  heat sucked his finger in, tempting him.

"Mh..." he moaned, smiling as he gyrated his hips, pushing against the finger. "Come on."

Itachi chuckled. Sasuke was always so impatient.

He slid the second finger in, meeting no resistance, then pulled them out. He held his breath as he watched Sasuke's ass swallow his fingers again, shivering at every tiny moan he earned from the trembling boy beneath him. He curled his fingers, rubbing against Sasuke's innermost walls until he hit his spot. Sasuke's eyelids fluttered shut and he moaned loudly, rocking his hips against Itachi's fingers, trying to get him to put more pressure against that special place.

"Feels so good, Aniki," Sasuke moaned, cracking his glassy eyes slightly and jerking as Itachi scissored his fingers. "But I-I thought you wanted me to r-ride you?"

With a near-violent shiver, Itachi withdrew his fingers, though Sasuke whimpered sadly at the feeling of being empty—but he knew it wouldn't be much longer until he felt completely,  _wonderfully_  full.

Itachi sat back, leaning against the wall with a lusty smirk, then motioned with his fingers for Sasuke to come closer, just like he did when they were younger. Sasuke could have laughed at the completely different situation; he knew there was no way in hell he was getting a poke to the forehead this time.

He sat up slowly, then crawled towards Itachi and straddled him, looping his arms around his neck. He rubbed his stretched hole over the slippery head of Itachi's cock, shivering at the feeling, before slowly pushing down. He bit his lip at the burning stretch, but held in any noises of pain; he knew any discomfort he felt would be more than worth it in the end. Eventually, he pushed through the first ring of muscle, then the second, then—somehow—something gave out and he fell onto Itachi's lap, swallowing his cock completely.

"Fuck," Sasuke gasped, throwing his head back, voice high and arms trembling. He panted, pain shooting up his spine at such a quick breech, though it wasn't nearly as bad as the first time.

"Are you okay?" Itachi rasped, though all he wanted was for Sasuke to  _move._  His cock throbbed as Sasuke's walls pulsed around him, trying to force out such a large intrusion, and he gripped the comforter tightly to keep from humping upwards.

Sasuke nodded, then slowly lifted himself up, ignoring the pain, before dropping back down. He mewled quietly, half from pain, half from pleasure, before repeating the action. Soon, he set a steady rhythm, though it wasn't nearly enough. He bounced faster and faster until he rubbed against his prostate  _just right_  and moaned so loudly it was practically a scream.

"Sasuke," Itachi panted, his hips bucking slightly. "Mother's right down the hall."

Sasuke nodded and bit his lip harshly, trying his hardest to keep in his noises—but it got harder and harder as the pleasure multiplied, especially when Itachi's hands moved from their place gripping the blankets to slamming him down harder on his cock.

"Ahh~ Aniki!" Sasuke moaned. He couldn't help it, not when Itachi fucked him this hard. He dropped his head onto Itachi's chest, gasping and moaning with abandon as Itachi thrust upwards as he brought him down. Sasuke trembled and jerked as his prostate was assaulted, his cock bobbing and rubbing against the taut muscle of Itachi's stomach, smearing a glistening trail of pre-cum all over him.

"Do you like it when big brother fucks you this hard?" Itachi rasped, his voice quickly becoming breathless from the pleasure and exertion. The way Sasuke's ass clenched around his cock was damn near heavenly; he never wanted it to end. "Do you like being my little slut?"

In the back of Itachi's mind, he realized calling his little brother such a name probably wasn't the best thing considering their history, but he couldn't stop himself. The way Sasuke moaned, the way Sasuke  _moved_  lit such a fierce fire inside of him he just couldn't help it. Sasuke didn't mind in the least; his ass tightened impossibly around Itachi's cock, proving how much it aroused him to be called such a dirty name.

"Yes—yes!" he cried, his voice heightening in pitch as his orgasm approached with dizzying speed. He bounced as fast as he could until the sound of skin-on-skin was so loud it was practically deafening. His arms shook and his legs trembled as his stomach coiled almost painfully, only to release all at one moment, blinding him with its intensity.

"Itachi!" he cried, biting down on his brother's shoulder as he came, cumming all over Itachi and himself. As Sasuke's ass milked him dry, Itachi came as well, moaning throatily as everything but the incredible pleasure he felt was wiped from his mind. His grip on Sasuke's hips loosened as he brought him down a few more times, riding out his orgasm and prolonging both of their pleasure.

Once it  _finally_  ended, Sasuke slumped onto Itachi, breathing heavily into the crook of his neck. He smiled lazily, his entire body feeling enjoyably tired.

"That...was amazing," he whispered, panting a little and obviously exhausted. Itachi hummed deep in his throat and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, holding him close. Both of their chests rose and fell quickly as they tried to breath normally again.

"I love you," Itachi said, panting quietly.

"I love you too," Sasuke yawned, then nuzzled closer to Itachi.

"Are you tired?" Itachi smirked. Sasuke nodded, stifling another yawn.

"Yeah."

Sasuke slowly unwound his arms from around Itachi's neck, then pulled himself off his spent length, wincing slightly at the renewed soreness he felt—but it was more than worth it. He collapsed onto his back, still panting slightly, then smiled as Itachi laid down next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close.

"Goodnight, Sasuke."

"Goodnight, Itachi-nii."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And to think that writing this was broken up by watching "I'm on Crack."
> 
> How am I a person
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D


	35. I Swear I've Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken me a while to post! I've been working on a lot of projects ;-; 
> 
> Would you guys mind checking out my original story? It's called 'I'll Always Be Yours' and it's up here c: 
> 
> Thank <3

"So...I-I'm going to the store later," Mikoto said, staring at the bowl of cereal in front of her, a huge blush burning her cheeks. "Do you guys need anything? Pizza, tissues, toothpaste...lube?"

Itachi choked on his cereal, coughing violently, and Sasuke patted him on the back a couple of times as he gagged. Once he finally regained his breath, his cheeks flushed redder than Mikoto had ever seen before, he shook his head.

"N-No, that's fine—"

"Can you get flavored lube?"

Itachi buried his face in his hands as Mikoto's eyes widened.

"U-Uh...a-any specific..." she paused, embarrassment stopping the words in her throat, "...requests?"

"Hmm..." Sasuke pursed his lips in thought. "Grape, maybe?"

"I can't believe this is happening," Itachi muttered, his face still covered with his palms.

"Sure...uhm, any other choices in case they don't have it?"

"Cherry? I don't really care."

Mikoto nodded. "I'll s-see what I can do."

Then they returned to eating as though that little conversation never happened.

* * *

Itachi sat in the back booth of some restaurant, holding his breath until his lungs started to hurt as he waited for Fugaku to finally arrive. Sasuke was at school, meaning they wouldn't have to deal with his rude comments, though Itachi didn't blame him in the slightest. If he weren't so polite and his curiosity wasn't so strong, he probably would be acting the exact same way.

"Hey."

Itachi glanced up and smiled the best he could. No fuzzy pictures flashed before his eyes this time, so he figured that was an improvement. He could handle this.

Fugaku slid into the seat, smiling the best he could at Itachi. Itachi noticed that his smile didn't have the same unnerving feel to it as it did when he was younger; it was almost...nice.

"Is Sasuke in school?"

Itachi nodded.

"Yeah. He wanted to tag along again, but luckily mother forced him to go to class."

"Ah, how is Mikoto doing?"

"She's been fine, I suppose," Itachi said. "She's had a girlfriend for quite a few years now."

Fugaku's eyes nearly bulged and he leaned forward in his seat.

"A...girlfriend?"

A smirk twitched on Itachi's lips as he nodded slowly. Fugaku opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something else, but soon shut it and shook his head.

"Well, I'm happy for her," he said. "She deserves it."

"She does. We've put her through a lot."

"We've?"

Itachi silently cursed himself.

"Sasuke's a bit rebellious and all..." he said, grasping at straws. Fugaku nodded; he didn't question it further.

"He really does have quite the mouth on him."

"I know," Itachi said, nearly rolling his eyes. "No matter how many times we correct him, his language never gets any less crude. We've been trying since he was eleven."

"And to think you've always been so polite," Fugaku chuckled. Itachi smirked and shrugged.

"We're opposites, but we get along well."

"That's good. I'm surprised the two of you are still so close."

"Well, we've both been through a lot."

Fugaku paused for a moment, his shoulders slumping forward with a large, guilty sigh.

"I still can't believe everything I put you through. It makes me sick to think about."

_It makes me sick, too._

"It's all in the past," Itachi muttered. "It's not good to dwell on things that upset us."

Fugaku nodded in agreement and settled back into his seat.

"You're right," he said. "You know, I'm honestly surprised you're even giving me a chance."

"I'm a very...forgiving person," Itachi said, unable to keep a small smile from stretching across his lips.

"That you are."

A waitress soon came to take their orders, and not long after their food arrived. Their meal was broken up by casual bits of conversation, and Itachi found it nothing short of enjoyable. It was like that creepy, depraved man his father once was never even existed. This was the father he'd always wanted; someone he could just talk to.

Sasuke wouldn't stop texting Itachi during their entire meeting. Itachi tried to text him back as often as he could, but found his incessant texts rather annoying after the first twenty minutes. They were all telling him to leave, which Itachi deemed unnecessary. They were in a public place, for God's sake. Nothing was going to happen.

"He's really that worried?"

Itachi shrugged while typing out another reply. He then placed his phone on the table.

"He'll get over it."

As luck would have it, Itachi ended up dropping a bit of food onto his jeans, as odd as that was for him to do. He supposed his nerves were still getting to him, as much as he tried to ignore them and just enjoy himself. After sighing hugely he quickly excused himself to the men's room in hopes of cleaning the food off his pants before it stained.

Fugaku stared at Itachi's phone as it buzzed on the table, jumping along the surface and nearly falling off. He caught it just in time, possibly saving it from breaking, but as it buzzed again in his hand he began to wonder what Sasuke was so urgently texting Itachi about. It wouldn't hurt to check, would it?

He unlocked the phone—Itachi didn't set a screen pattern—and checked quickly to see if Itachi was on his way back yet, then opened the newest message.

His breath caught in his throat.

' _Are you gonna be back before mom gets off work? I really wanna fuck again tonight but I'm kinda hoping we'll be done before she gets back. Your cock is just so fucking big I can't keep quiet. ;)'_

Fugaku's hands trembled as his mind spun uncontrollably. He read the contact name over and over again, trying to convince himself that this was somehow another 'Sasuke' and his sons weren't...fucking. But then he realized he was being ridiculous.

What the hell?

Just as he was about to set the phone aside, another text came in. Though he didn't truly want to read it, seeing as they were obviously _personal,_  his fingers moved of their own accord to press 'open.'

_'Hey can we take more pics tonight? It was kinda fun putting on a little show for you big brother.'_

Pictures?

He knew he should have just put Itachi's phone back. He knew he shouldn't have let his curiosity get the best of him—but in a way, he wanted to believe these texts were simply a joke. It was ridiculous, wasn't it? If there were no pictures, then his sons were just  _brothers,_  nothing more.

It took some minor confusion and screen-tapping, but then he managed to find Itachi's picture gallery and open it. He couldn't take a single breath as he stared at a picture of his youngest son, pale hand wrapped around his own cock, biting his lip as he played with himself for his big brother. He was such a cute, sweet little boy when he was younger, and now this?

Fugaku always knew he was a whore.

He always teased him.

Those cute little smiles were never innocent.

Fugaku locked the phone quickly and slid it back to where it was. He settled back into his seat, panting quietly, just as Itachi rounded the corner and came into view.

Itachi raised a single eyebrow as he noticed his father's flushed cheeks. What had happened in his short absence?

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked as he slid into the booth.

"Ah, not really," Fugaku muttered, his eyes raking over Itachi quickly before settling back on his face. "I'm feeling slightly ill. Sasuke's getting off from school soon, isn't he?"

"Yes," Itachi said, confused by his father's sudden shift of topic. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, since our meeting's gone so well, I was thinking that perhaps he'd give me another chance."

"I suppose so," Itachi muttered. He looked up as the waitress approached their table with the check. After he took it from her, smiling like the gentleman he was and causing her to giggle quietly, he turned his attention back to his father.

"Would you like to come back home with me for a little while?"

Fugaku smiled.

"I'd love to."

* * *

"What the fuck, Aniki?!" Sasuke shouted, practically throwing his backpack on the floor as he stepped into the living room. "Why the fuck is he here?!"

Itachi lifted an eyebrow.

"Language, Otouto."

"Shut the fuck up," Sasuke growled, though it was more of a pout. He glared at their father who only smiled in return, much to Sasuke's annoyance. "Fucking creep," he hissed before stalking out the room and upstairs.

"He still hates me," Fugaku chuckled almost sadly, though his eyes followed Sasuke until he disappeared.

Itachi sighed with a small shrug.

"It takes him a while to warm up to people, but he's really quite loveable once you get past the abrasive front he puts up."

"I imagine so," Fugaku muttered, though his mind was far away.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Itachi asked. "I don't know how mother would feel, but I could call her and ask..."

"Oh no, that's fine," Fugaku said, snapping out of his Sasuke-related thoughts and dragging his eyes to Itachi. "I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome."

Itachi nodded, though he was slightly disappointed.

"Do whatever you'd like."

Sasuke trudged back downstairs then, changed out of his school uniform and into a casual pair of grey sweatpants and a fitted black t-shirt.

"How long is he staying?" he asked, making his way to the chair Itachi sat in and sitting on his lap. He completely ignored Fugaku's presence, likening it to one of a creepy, unwanted insect.

"As long as he'd like to," Itachi said, wrapping his arms around his little brother and pulling him closer to his chest. "Be polite."

"No."

Itachi sighed and leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"You're so difficult."

"But you love me."

"That I do."

Fugaku couldn't tear his eyes away from Sasuke and barely heard a word that was exchanged between him and Itachi. That picture seemed permanently burned into his mind, making it impossible for him to see anything except that lewd image no matter how hard he tried.

But he really wasn't trying very hard.

"Hey, Itachi," Fugaku said, wracking his mind for anything that could simply get Itachi to leave for a little while. "Since I'm not staying for very long, why don't you head out and buy us something sweet? I could stay here and try to make nice with Sasuke while you're gone."

"What the hell?" Sasuke hissed, finally showing the man some attention. "I don't like you and I never will. Fuck off."

"Must you curse every other sentence?" Itachi muttered.

"Yes," Sasuke said with a childish pout. "It adds emphasis."

"I give up." Itachi shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips, then turned to Fugaku. "I shouldn't be gone more than twenty minutes if traffic's light." Then Itachi pushed Sasuke off his lap and stood. Sasuke pouted indignantly as he stumbled to his feet, but Itachi only pecked him on the forehead.

"Try and be polite, Sasuke," Itachi said before making his way out of the room. Soon, they heard the door close, which meant that Fugaku and Sasuke were officially alone.

Sasuke turned his head and stared at the man, narrowing his eyes into slits and clenching his fists with the force of his hatred. Why the  _hell_  would Itachi leave them alone together?

Fugaku smiled, though it made Sasuke's skin crawl. He shivered then wrapped his arms around himself, trying to shield his body from that man's unsettling gaze.

"You're so creepy," Sasuke spat. After throwing one more malicious glare at Fugaku, he stormed out of the room to the staircase, but before he had a chance to reach it he was forcefully yanked back by his arm.

"Let go of me, goddamnit!" he shouted, trying his hardest to pull his arm back once he regained his footing. The feeling of that man actually _touching_  him churned his stomach violently with disgust.

"Now, now, Sasuke..." Fugaku muttered, his tone laced with amusement. "That's no way to speak to your father. I'm just trying to be nice."

Sasuke shivered with revulsion, then clenched his teeth.

"Let go of me," he hissed, "you sick fucker. I don't want anything to do with you."

Fugaku's chest rumbled with laughter as he pulled Sasuke closer, though not without some violent struggling from the smaller raven. He wrapped an arm firmly around Sasuke's chest, holding his back flush against his front and pinning Sasuke's arms to his sides. His free hand drew small circles on his son's upper thigh, which pissed Sasuke off a good bit. What the hell was his father doing?

" _I'm_  the sick one?" Fugaku chuckled, his breath ghosting over Sasuke's ear, earning a revolted shiver from the trapped boy. "Aren't you fucking your brother? Or I bet it's the other way around..."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he froze completely.

"Wh...What?" His voice cracked, which Fugaku didn't fail to notice. It only widened his grin.

"I saw your little picture, read your little texts. I always knew you were a  _whore."_

Then he bucked against Sasuke's ass, grinding harshly and moaning at the small attention to the throbbing erection. He'd gotten hard the second he felt Sasuke's body pressed so closely against his own, and anticipation flooded his entire body. He'd waited  _way_  too many years for this.

Sasuke couldn't breathe; his throat tightened to the point where no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take a single breath without choking. He whimpered as he felt Fugaku's tongue slide up his nape, stopping right behind his ear, and he flinched as he heard his father's low, lusty chuckle.

"Are you getting hard?" he whispered, and Sasuke's stomach lurched. "I promise I'll make you enjoy it, you little whore."

_"I promise I'll make you enjoy it..."_

_Oh God,_  Sasuke thought as he trembled and squirmed against his father, though all that earned was a low moan from the man.  _Please, please,_  not again.

Sasuke whimpered loudly as his father's hand drifted from his upper thigh to his crotch. Fugaku pressed the heel of his palm against Sasuke's groin and rubbed harshly, wanting nothing more than to hear how loud his slutty little boy could moan; he was more than disappointed when all he earned was a choked sob, though he refused to let this deter him in any way. He knew Sasuke would love it—but even if he didn't, that truly wasn't Fugaku's concern.

"S-Stop it," Sasuke whispered, shaking with fear. "Please, stop!"

"What happened to being all high-and-mighty?" Fugaku asked, chuckling again. "Are you  _scared?"_

"Stop," Sasuke whispered, crying out quietly as his father licked the shell of his ear.

Sasuke couldn't hold back his burning tears, and he clenched his eyes shut as they streamed down his cheeks. His chest was wracked with loud, unrestrained sobs as his father continued to touch him, rub him, lick him, and grind against him no matter how much he begged him not to.

"Please," he cried, wiggling desperately though it did him no good, "please stop!"

"You love it," Fugaku breathed. "You're such a little whore."

"You have five seconds to get your hands off my baby brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laugh at your suffering
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	36. Maybe Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I would have updated yesterday, but I didn't get home until like eight then I left again and didn't get home until this morning then I fucking slept all day and idek
> 
> *dodges rocks*
> 
> I love you guys. I'm not really satisfied with this chapter since...I don't know. It was difficult to write. That may only be because I had to write this in three or four sittings, so. XD But yeah. Woo!
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE:
> 
> I may be ending BILY soon BUT I'll be writing a sequel. Maybe. If you guys want it. ;-; It would be called In Sickness and In Health.
> 
> Get it?
> 
> Because I Love You In Sickness and In Health.
> 
> *laughs*

Fugaku tore himself away from Sasuke and the raven fell onto his knees, trembling from head to toe. He could hardly breath as memories washed over him again—memories he thought he'd never have to revisit.

"Ah, Itachi...I thought you'd be gon—"

"Shut up."

Itachi took slow, measured steps towards his brother and father, never taking his eyes off Fugaku even as he crouched down next to Sasuke. He knew the man would try to run if given the chance; he'd always been a coward.

"Are you okay?"

Sasuke nodded, his eyes squeezed tight.

"I'll be fine...now that you're here."

Fugaku gulped, slowly withering under Itachi's hateful glare. He opened his mouth to try and speak, but no words came out; his throat went dry the second he was caught by Itachi's malicious gaze.

"I should have known better," Itachi muttered, his glare seeming to darken even more. He stood slowly, then crossed the small distance between Fugaku and himself. He took his time getting there, knowing he had no reason to hurry—or maybe he just enjoyed the feeling of power he had over Fugaku in that moment.

"So you're not sick anymore, hm?"

Itachi balled his fist and slammed it into Fugaku's stomach, reveling in the hoarse gag from his father before grabbing him by the hair and yanking him until they were face-to-face.

"Nobody touches Sasuke," he hissed, the corners of his lips twitching into a terrifying smirk. Without releasing his hold on Fugaku's hair, he balled his other fist and punched him again with as much force as he could muster.

He let go of Fugaku's hair and the man fell onto his knees, gasping as he doubled over with a loud, bloody cough. Itachi kicked him in the side once, twice, his smirk growing as Fugaku cried out after each harsh blow. Then without another word, Itachi turned on his heel and headed towards the kitchen. Sasuke watched carefully, shocked speechless by Itachi's uncharacteristically violent actions. What was his brother _doing?_

After a couple of long, heavy seconds, Itachi emerged from the kitchen, carrying the sharpest knife he could find.

Sasuke's eyes widened hugely and he scrambled to his feet.

_No fucking way._

"Itachi, stop!"

Itachi didn't listen to him; instead, he stalked towards the form of their father who wobbled as he tried to stand on his feet. Fugaku's eyes bulged and he backed up until he hit the wall, his entire body trembling as his eldest son closed in on him.

"I-Itach—"

"I told you to shut up."

Fugaku began to hyperventilate, his chest rising and falling faster than it ever had before in his life, yet he couldn't seem to get a single breath of cool air. Was this how it ended, stabbed to death by his own son?

Wouldn't that be ironic.

"Itachi, stop!" Sasuke repeated, sprinting to Itachi and grabbing for his arm—but before he had a chance to reach him, Itachi blindly slashed the blade and Fugaku screamed.

Sasuke pulled Itachi back and they fell onto the ground, the knife knocked from the elder's grasp in the process. Sasuke stared, wide-eyed with disbelief as their father clutched at his stomach, a river of crimson flowing through the cracks in his fingers.

"Itachi-nii..." Sasuke said, turning his wide, incredulous gaze to his older brother. Itachi himself seemed just as shocked, his eyes nearly wider than Sasuke's.

"What did I do...?" he muttered as his senses slowly returned to him. He looked at the bloodied knife then back to their father, unable to comprehend that  _he_  was the one who swiped the blade.

Fugaku stared at his hand and the blood quickly staining his white, button-down shirt, not quite believing what he saw. He could tell the gash wasn't exactly deep, but all too soon he felt his knees buckle and he fell to the ground, his vision blackening around the edges.

"Tou-san!"

* * *

Police everywhere, asking questions, pitying the victims. It reminded Itachi all too much of a time so many years ago when he was in a disturbingly similar situation, all thanks to the same poor excuse for a man.

"Did you intend to kill him?" one woman officer asked, crossing her legs as she sat across from the two boys.

Itachi shook his head, though that was partially a lie. In that moment, he didn't know what he was thinking. He, quite literally, saw red.

"I could never kill anyone," he said. "I wouldn't be able to live with that sort of guilt."

The woman nodded and jotted down a couple of notes onto the small yellow pad she held. Sasuke, who sat cuddled up next to Itachi on the couch, decided to chime in.

"He was protecting me," he said. "God knows what would have happened if he didn't come home when he did." Sasuke trembled just slightly as he thought of the possibilities, but Itachi held him tighter.

"I understand," the lady officer said. "I'm glad things were stopped before they got any worse."

And with that, she stood.

"It turns out he was violating his parole by visiting you, Uchiha-san."

"Really?" Itachi's eyebrows rose as he absorbed this new information. He hadn't the slightest idea.

The woman nodded, then smiled just slightly.

"That, on top of another attempted rape, means he's going to be put away for a long, long time," she said.

"Good," Sasuke mumbled. "The creep fucking deserves it."

The lady raised an eyebrow, but Itachi waved it off.

"Ignore him."

She nodded, seeming slightly amused. "Well, I'm going to go have a word with your mother," she said. "Take care."

"Thank you," Itachi said, sighing in relief.

"Why did you come home so early?" Sasuke asked once she disappeared, cuddling closer to Itachi. The elder shrugged.

"I decided to check my phone and noticed I had a couple of opened texts I never read," he said. "I also just had a bad feeling. I didn't like the way he looked at you."

Sasuke cracked a small smile and sighed happily.

"I love you so much it's fucking ridiculous," he mumbled.

Itachi cracked a smile as well.

"And I love you."

Mikoto stumbled over a few moments later as the last of the police filtered out of the house. As she locked eyes with her sons she closed her eyes, exhaling loudly while her eyebrows rose a bit. Then her eyes slowly opened again, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I didn't know you had it in you to stab someone, Itachi," she chuckled, more than a little bit amused. "I'm proud of you."

"Right?!" Sasuke said quickly, bolting completely upright. "It was kinda hot, how protective he was."

"I didn't  _stab_  him," Itachi muttered, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Tch, stop being modest. You were a total badass," Sasuke said, curling back up against Itachi. Then a devious smirk broke across his face, and he leaned up until he could whisper in Itachi's ear. "I think the hero deserves a little  _reward,_  don't you think?"

"I'm not hearing this!" Mikoto said, covering her ears as she shook her head wildly. She promptly turned on her heel and disappeared into the safety of the kitchen, away from any conversation regarding sons' sex life.

It had already been awkward enough buying lube for them! The man at the checkout counter had given her the oddest look, and she couldn't will her blush away for a good hour or so afterwards. At least she'd picked up some earplugs for herself while she was there, meaning she might actually  _sleep_  tonight.

"I'm serious," Sasuke purred, licking the shell of Itachi's ear. "I'll do  _anything."_

Itachi shivered just slightly, but held himself together.

"Can it not wait until after dinner?" he asked. Sasuke's face fell and he sat back, crossing his pale arms across his chest.

"Fine," he mumbled with a kiddish pout. Then his features softened. "But really, thank you."

"Of course, Sasuke." Itachi's eyebrows creased and he huffed slightly. "I'm sorry I left you two alone. That was foolish of me."

Sasuke shrugged.

"People make mistakes."

"I'm glad you're finally starting to realize that."

"Shut up."

* * *

Sasuke kissed Itachi feverishly, pushed him back onto his—technically  _their_  bed—and crawled on top of him. He hastily unbuttoned Itachi's shirt, nearly ripping a couple of buttons off in the process, then forced it off his shoulders as quickly as he could before reattaching their lips with fervor.

"Someone's eager," Itachi chuckled between open-mouthed kisses.

"Well _someone_  wouldn't stop running their hand up my leg all during dinner." Sasuke bucked against Itachi, grinding his near-painful erection against the elder's thigh, and moaned loudly. "Try dealing with that for half an hour, bastard."

"I'm sure I could manage."

Sasuke nearly growled and crashed their lips together viciously, teeth clanking and lips bruising as he tugged on Itachi's hair, earning a low groan that went straight to his cock.

Then Sasuke pulled away. Itachi arched an eyebrow, silently questioning Sasuke's behavior, though the younger only grinned as he reached into his back pocket. He retrieved a small bottle and held it in front of Itachi's face, chuckling at the look of mortification that crossed the elder's features.

"She didn't."

"But she did."

Itachi shut his eyes and sighed.

"She actually got you grape?"

"Yep!" Sasuke said, his grin doubling in size. "Isn't mom great?"

Itachi's chest rose as he took the deepest breath he possibly could.

"I suppose it will lessen the pain for you."

"And taste good for you."

Itachi opened his eyes and stared at Sasuke, quirking his eyebrow yet again.

"Well..." Sasuke said, blushing slightly. "Uh...I was wondering if you'd be okay with...rimming me."

Itachi's eyes widened and he swallowed reflexively. It wasn't like he hadn't thought of it before, but actually doing it...

"You don't have to!" Sasuke said quickly, worried he'd overstepped some sort of boundary. He knew some people were grossed out by it. "I get it if you don't want to do something like that. You...you can just forget I said anything."

The only response he earned was Itachi gently taking the bottle from his hand with a sly smirk.

"Anything to please my little brother."

Sasuke shivered, anticipation and arousal making his eyes grow heavy. Why did it turn him on so much when Itachi called him that?

"Seriously?"

Itachi shrugged.

"I think I'd enjoy it."

Sasuke bit his lip, a slow smirk spreading across them. He threw the lube aside, then shifted a bit on Itachi, pleased to feel a tell-tale hardness poking his ass.

"Can I put on another little...show for you?"

"Of course."

His smirk still playing on his bitten lip, Sasuke dragged his hands down his chest before sliding them under his shirt and slowly lifting it over his head, teasing Itachi. He threw it onto the ground, then shifted his weight off of the elder and onto the floor so he could get out of his jeans. Never once breaking his eyes away from his brother's, Sasuke popped the button of his jeans and lowered the zipper, then put his fingers through his belt loops and slowly pushed them over his hips, swaying to the beat of some unheard music. He let them, along with his boxers, pool on the ground, then kicked them aside.

Itachi matched Sasuke's smirk as the younger laid on the bed, legs spread shamelessly for his big brother. Sasuke ignored the flashback that had been pushing at his mind for the past few hours, instead choosing to focus on Itachi. Itachi would make him feel good; Itachi wouldn't hurt him. Itachi would make all the bad feelings go away, as he always did.

Itachi sat back, leaning against the headboard as he waited for whatever Sasuke planned to do. His palm drifted to the front of his pants and he rubbed over the bulge there, hissing quietly as he saw Sasuke grab the small bottle of lube.

"Anything in particular you want me to do, big brother?"

Itachi chuckled, his eyes growing even heavier as he thought through all of the possibilities. His little brother really was turning into a little slut again, wasn't he?

"Finger yourself," Itachi said. A high-pitched whine left Sasuke's parted lips as he nodded, hastily uncapping the bottle and slathering his fingers with the clear substance. He tossed the bottle aside then wrapped his fingers around his dripping cock, stroking himself quickly, before a hand roughly gripped his wrist and stilled him.

"Did I say you could touch your cock, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's eyes widened, but his dick twitched. He never knew Itachi could be so dominant, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't turn him on to be ordered around like that.

"Sorry, big brother," Sasuke breathed. "I'll be good."

Itachi smirked lustfully then sat back again, pleased that Sasuke had listened to him; he always liked being in control in the bedroom, and saw no reason to hold back now that Sasuke was better. Besides, Sasuke seemed to enjoy it if his rigid cock and hasty obedience was anything to go by.

Sasuke unwrapped his fingers from around his cock and trailed them down farther, using his other hand to part his ass and chuckling as he noticed how Itachi's heavy gaze was drawn straight to his exposed hole. He traced one lube-slicked finger around his entrance, gasping at the feeling, before slowly pushing it in, his mouth falling open with a low moan the deeper it slide inside. He didn't stop until his ass swallowed his finger to the second knuckle, then pulled it out, only to force a second in alongside it.

"You're always so eager to be filled," Itachi murmured, palming at the twitching bulge in his pants with fervor. He hastily unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out, moaning in relief once it sprung free from under the constricting denim.

"Only by you," Sasuke gasped, curling his fingers and shivering with a loud moan as he brushed against his prostate. He mewled and rocked his hips back in time with the work of his fingers, and his other hand moved from spreading his ass to gripping his cock. He stroked himself quickly, not giving any mind to Itachi's earlier warning.

"I said not to touch your cock, you little  _whore,"_  Itachi hissed, too lost in lust to truly understand what he was saying. It made him angry that Sasuke disobeyed—much angrier than he'd felt in a while.

Sasuke's eyes widened as fear set in for a split second before it disappeared, gone almost as quickly as it came, only to be replaced with overwhelming arousal. He'd be his brother's whore if that's what he wanted. Anything for Itachi; he'd saved him, after all.

Sasuke stroked his cock again, smirking as the elder bristled and grit his teeth.

"Am I being a bad whore?" he breathed, his fist nearly a blur over his dick. "Maybe you should punish me."

Itachi was on him in a split second, kissing him violently and forcing his legs onto his shoulders. Sasuke whined into the kiss, his fingers falling out of him and away from his cock only to tangle in Itachi's loose hair, tugging on it impatiently.

Once Itachi broke away, he wasted no time in settling between Sasuke's legs and spreading his ass. Sasuke trembled in anticipation, his hands tightly gripping the covers as his brother's warm breath puffed over his most intimate place, though he still wouldn't lean in. Itachi was teasing him, wasn't he?

"P-Please, Itachi-nii," he whimpered, silently cursing himself for how helpless he sounded.

Then Itachi licked straight up his crack and Sasuke practically screamed, his hands gripping the comforter until his knuckles turned white as he shoved his ass towards Itachi's face.

"Oh God," he choked as Itachi flicked his tongue relentlessly. Sasuke's entire body shook and he threw his head from side-to-side, unable to truly process just how  _good_  it felt.

Itachi chuckled deep in his throat at Sasuke's reaction, pleased that this seemed to make him feel so good; he himself didn't mind the taste of the lube, either. He lapped at Sasuke's entrance, swirling his tongue around before slowly pushing it inside, breaching the slightly-stretched ring of muscle. He moaned as Sasuke's tight heat clamped around his tongue, though any small noise he made was drowned out by Sasuke's outright screams. Itachi had half a mind to tell him to quiet down, but his mouth was busy at the moment.

He slid two fingers inside Sasuke, never once stopping the thrusting of his tongue, and massaged Sasuke's inner walls, searching for that special bundle that always earned the best noises from his baby brother. When he managed to brush against it, Sasuke's legs tightened around him, trying to force him deeper as he cried out again. The feeling of both Itachi's tongue and fingers inside of him was indescribable, and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep from cumming for much longer.

"S-Stop!"

Itachi retracted his tongue and fingers, staring at Sasuke strangely.

"I don't...wanna cum...yet," Sasuke panted, smiling slightly. "I want you...inside me."

With a smirk, Itachi pulled back—though he kept Sasuke's legs on his shoulders—and reached for the lube. He uncapped it and squirted a generous amount onto his palm then stroked his cock, hissing at the slight pleasure. Sasuke bit his lip, wiggling his hips impatiently as he waited for Itachi to just fuck him already. He refused to believe his impatience was the result of the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier with their father. It was normal to want to have sex with his lover, so nothing was wrong.

Right?

Itachi pushed in quickly, moaning quietly at how easily he slid in. Sasuke shook underneath him, his hands wrapping around Itachi for leverage as his body tried to adjust to such a huge stretch. It hurt a lot less thanks to the extra lubrication, of course, but the sting was still there. Sasuke found himself wondering if he'd ever get used to it, though he knew the pain would always be worth the euphoric pleasure.

Itachi pulled out then thrust back in, burying his face in the crook of Sasuke's neck as he rocked into him over and over again. A steady stream of moans and mewls spilled past Sasuke's lips until Itachi struck his prostate, which made him scream some indecipherable variation of his big brother's name. Itachi clamped a hand over Sasuke's mouth—gently, of course—though he was sure the damage had already been done. He chuckled as he imagined their mother's embarrassment, though that quickly turned into a moan as Sasuke tightened around him, signalling how close he was to release.

Itachi fucked him harder and faster, wanting nothing more than to push his baby brother over the edge. He pushed their bodies closer together, effectively trapping Sasuke's bobbing erection between them and rubbing against it, bringing the younger even closer to his climax. Sasuke's muffled cries grew louder until one particularly long, drawn-out scream; he came all over himself and Itachi, rolling his hips over and over again as he rode out his pleasure. Itachi came soon after; the feeling of Sasuke's ass squeezing around him like a vice was too much for him to handle, and he groaned loudly as euphoria washed over his entire body.

After both brothers rode out their pleasure, Itachi removed his hand from Sasuke's mouth and slumped over, though he was careful not to set all of his weight on top of his brother for fear of hurting him. They lay there together for a few more moments, the only sound their heavy breathing as they tried to recover.

"Get off me," Sasuke mumbled after a couple of moments, half-heartedly pushing at Itachi's chest. "You're heavy."

Itachi chuckled and leaned back, smiling at his tired little brother. He quickly pecked him on the lips before pulling out and collapsing back onto the bed, Sasuke following suit. The younger cuddled up to Itachi's side, sighing happily as he felt his brother's arm loop around him and pull him closer.

"Love you," he mumbled, yawning.

"I love you too."

Sasuke smiled happily to himself, though exhaustion was a heavy veil on his mind; it wasn't long until he drifted off to sleep.

Itachi smiled as he saw the peaceful expression on Sasuke's face as he slept, then quickly pried Sasuke off him, stood, and took off his clothes to get more comfortable. After he'd stripped down to his boxers, he slid under the blankets and covered them both before snuggling against Sasuke and dozing off as well.

Sometime during the night, Sasuke awoke with a start, his entire body covered in a thin sheen of sweat as fuzzy images of two men touching him, kissing him,  _licking_  him played in front of his open eyes. He looked to Itachi, desperate for his comfort, and clung to his arm as hot tears slid down his cheeks.

Maybe he couldn't let go, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA
> 
> DRAMA MOTHERFUCKERS
> 
> YOU LOVE IT
> 
> OH ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE:
> 
> I know that Itachi may have seemed completely OOC (at least for his BILY characterization) during the sex scene. Well...okay so what had happened was:
> 
> All those flashbacks fucked with Itachi. Yup yup. So, in retaliation to reawakening the feelings of being trapped during sex, he wants to dominate Sasuke. That's probably gonna fuck with shit in the future, don't-cha think?
> 
> SASUKE'S GETTING MORE SLUTTY OHSHIT FLASHBACKS
> 
> Fuck I should go back to sleep. I'm not making sense.
> 
> I've come to the conclusion that I'm mildly sadistic. O u O Fuck your happiness, Itachi and Sasuke. Fuck it hard and dry.
> 
> But thank you for reading! :D


	37. Stains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm really sorry for the ridiculous wait for such a short and crappy chapter.
> 
> I REALLY HATE THIS CHAPTER
> 
> i really hate this fucking story
> 
> *punches self in the face*
> 
> Just getting up the motivation to finish writing this was literally painful. This plot revolves around sex more than it used to (which was already A LOT) and I just...I have a lot of stuff planned for the sequel though, but I don't even know if I'll have the motivation to write that.
> 
> *bitches and complains for a couple more paragraphs*
> 
> anyways yay fanservice
> 
> sorry again for being a bad author and just sucking and not updating for like two weeks and being dumb AND BEING REALLY WHINY TODAY WOW I'M SORRY FUCK *slaps self on the wrist*
> 
> but i'm probably ending bily within like...a chapter or so
> 
> oooOOOooh yay
> 
> finafuckingly
> 
> and then im taking a fucking break and rewriting a lot of old bily chapters and planning the sequel(?) and finishing other stories and shit
> 
> s i gh s
> 
> my grammar has really died today
> 
> oh and follow me on tumblr (cody-the-cunt-destroyer) if you want updates about stories and things???

"Hey, Itachi-nii, can we have a quickie?"

Itachi slowly opened his eyes all the way, his mind still heavy with sleep, and stared questioningly at Sasuke. His mind tried to catch up with the request, seeing as he was barely awake, and it took him a moment before it finally clicked.

"...Why?"

Itachi sat up slowly, stifling a yawn, and wiped the heavy sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hand. Sasuke shrugged, and upon opening his eyes completely, Itachi first noticed how tired his brother looked, then noticed Sasuke was still completely naked and not even covered by the blanket pooled around them. Itachi pried his eyes away from the tempting sight and instead chose to look at the clock, though he scowled as he noticed the time.

"We're going to be late if we try to do anything."

"What if I blew you and got myself off?" Sasuke suggested, trying to keep desperation from showing in his voice, though he failed pretty badly. "I-I'd be fine with that."

Itachi turned his attention back to Sasuke, his expression heavily concerned. Sasuke almost sounded as needy as he did a few months ago, though he wasn't being quite as...bratty—but the desperation was there nonetheless.

"Why, Sasuke?"

"I just woke up horny," Sasuke said, shrugging again though he nearly cringed at such a poor excuse. "I'm a teenage boy. Am I not allowed to have hormones?"

"I don't want to make you late for school."

"I'll just take a really quick shower."

Itachi quirked an eyebrow and was about to refuse, but one more glance at Sasuke broke his resolve. The boy nearly looked like he was on the verge of tears, but was obviously trying his hardest to hide it with his overly sexual posture coupled with the small, flirtatious smile he wore.

"I suppose," Itachi muttered, scowling slightly once he saw how Sasuke's eyes immediately lit up.

Sasuke felt relief settle in his chest, replacing the dread and anxiety he'd felt since he first woke up. He'd been awake for hours from fear of falling back asleep and dealing with his dreams—which still kept replaying in his mind—but he hoped pleasuring Itachi would help get his mind off of things like it always used to do.

"Will you call me a whore?" Sasuke asked as he rubbed Itachi over his thin boxers. Itachi's eyebrows rose and he opened his mouth as though he wanted to respond, but Sasuke quickly continued. "It turned me on a  _lot_ when you did last night."

"I called you a whore?" Itachi seemed mildly surprised by this realization; he didn't remember doing such. Sasuke nodded, allowing his flirtatious smile to widen.

"Yeah. It was...hot."

"I didn't mean to call you such a degrading name," Itachi muttered, guilt quickly settling in and squashing whatever arousal he was  _trying_ to feel.

"B-But I want you to." Sasuke cursed himself for tripping over his words—that definitely  _wasn't_  sexy—but tried to make up for it by resting on his elbows, his ass shamelessly stuck in the air as he doubled the pressure of his hand.

Itachi paused, his eyebrows drawing together with worry. Something was definitely wrong, and he knew it would be foolish to let things progress any further—Sasuke definitely didn't need to fall back into his old self-destructive pattern of begging for sex whenever he got upset. So, with a sigh, Itachi swung one leg over the side of the bed as he got ready to stand.

"I don't think we should do this right now, Sasuke," he said.

Sasuke's eyes grew wide as Itachi moved, and he rubbed a even harder, pleased when Itachi froze and took a sharp breath. The elder shot a warning glance at Sasuke, his eyes narrowed as he gripped the sheets, but Sasuke leaned forward and rubbed his cheek against the growing bulge in Itachi's boxers with a small smile on his lips. He was honing in on that confidence again—the slutty confidence that had slowly and surely been returning to him over the past few days.

"Please?" he asked, sticking out his tongue and licking at the outline of Itachi's clothed cock.

"S-Sasuke..." Itachi's voice wavered as arousal creeped in, slowly overriding his better judgment. Sasuke was supposed to be better, wasn't he? Perhaps Itachi was only overreacting—maybe Sasuke really  _had_  just woken up hornier than usual.

As Itachi slowly settled back onto the bed, Sasuke practically pounced, pulling out the elder's cock with haste. He wrapped his lips around the head and sucked for a moment before trailing kisses down Itachi's shaft, then licking straight up while thumbing at the head.

_"Are you getting hard?" he whispered, and Sasuke's stomach lurched. "I promise I'll make you enjoy it, you little whore."_

Sasuke shut his eyes for the briefest of seconds, his actions pausing for only a heartbeat before he got back to work, tasting Itachi everywhere he could and flitting his eyes to meet the elder's. Itachi's eyes were low and his lips parted as he took short, staggered breaths, and this alone was enough to take away some of Sasuke's anxiety—but it wasn't good enough. He quickly pulled off Itachi's cock, smirking at the soft 'pop' that followed, and stroked it as he licked his lips.

"Call me a whore, big brother. Please?" Sasuke lapped at the head of Itachi's dick, keeping their eyes locked together as he did so. Itachi bit his lip at a particularly hard lick, though his worries were once again renewed at such an odd request.

"Sasuke..."

"I love it, Itachi..." Sasuke lewdly dragged his tongue over his shaft, knowing Itachi was getting closer and closer to caving.  _Come on, just do it..._

"You're a...whore," Itachi said, though he flinched slightly at the words. Sasuke moaned quietly and placed a kiss at the head, smiling in relief as he watched the elder's control quickly unravel.

"Do I make big brother feel good?" Sasuke sucked the entire glistening head of Itachi's cock into his mouth, rapidly swirling his tongue around as he stroked the rest with his hand. Itachi moaned and pushed Sasuke farther down, and the younger moved his hand aside and relaxed his throat, drawing a long, low moan from his big brother.

"Yes," Itachi groaned, breathing heavily. He leaned his head back against the headboard, his grip in Sasuke's hair tightening to the point of pain, though the younger didn't mind it at all. If anything, it turned him on more to have Itachi dominate him—he  _craved_ it.

Sasuke pulled up just enough to speak again, though it was difficult; Itachi obviously didn't want Sasuke to stop bobbing his head now that he'd finally gotten into it.

"Am I big brother's whore?"

Itachi gave a harsh yank on Sasuke's hair, causing the younger to yelp sharply at the jolt of pain and clutch at Itachi's hand.

"You're big brother's dirty little whore, Sasuke," Itachi said, his dark, glassy eyes staring straight into his little brother's. Sasuke moaned as he was pushed back down and happily allowed Itachi to fuck his mouth as hard as he wanted. Quickly, Sasuke's hand trailed down to his own hard cock, and he stroked himself fast, trying to match the increasing speed of Itachi's thrusts.

As the pleasure multiplied, the memories grew hazier and more distant until they were hardly recognizable. Both brothers came within seconds of each other, cum dribbling out the side of Sasuke's mouth to join the mess already splattered on him, and everything seemed a little less awful, if only for a moment.

* * *

After Sasuke took his shower and left for school—with only fifteen minutes to spare—Mikoto and Itachi crossed paths in the hallway. A bright blush painted Mikoto's cheeks, memories of all the  _things_ she heard the night before and even that very morning too fresh to make their meeting anything less than painfully awkward.

"So...I can tell you and Sasuke have a very," she stopped to cough and lean against the wall, " _active_...relationship..."

Itachi's eyes widened and he immediately trained them on the wall behind his mother. His cheeks burned and Mikoto smiled a little as she noticed this; she found her son's embarrassment precious, though it couldn't have possibly rivaled her own.

"What do you mean?" he asked, clearing his throat to mask the small waver in his voice.

"Well..." Mikoto sighed for a moment; she'd already thought over what she was going to say, but actually  _saying_ it was proving a bit harder than she expected. "...You're going to be twenty in a couple of weeks, and Sasuke's going to be fifteen soon. I was thinking...you're both getting older...and I trust you not to do anything stupid, so perhaps you two would think of maybe...getting an apartment together?" Upon receiving Itachi's questioning look, she decided to further clarify what she meant. "It's just a bit...awkward, you know?"

Itachi's eyes flitted back to Mikoto and a contemplative, but knowing look crossed his features, his eyebrows creasing slightly. He kept silent for a few moments, thinking deeply, before he slowly nodded.

"That might be nice," he said, a small smile playing on his lips, "but I'd need to get a job."

Mikoto nodded. "Maybe you could think of going job hunting today before your afternoon class?" she suggested. "I mean, both of you are welcome to stay here, but it was just a thought."

"No, I like it. I think it might be good for us to get away from this house," Itachi said, "especially after the incident yesterday. I don't think me or Sasuke are coping very well, to be honest."

Mikoto tilted her head with a small frown.

"How so?"

Itachi shook his head, though fragments of his  _too vivid_  dreams the night before flashed through his mind, along with what he  _did_ remember about them having sex. He clenched and unclenched his fists, allowing his nails to dig small, red crescents into his palm. The slight pain distracted him from his memories, though it took a moment to fully shake them off, and he dragged his eyes to meet Mikoto's.

"Don't worry about it," Itachi finally said, his voice sounding somewhat distant. "I'm sure we'll be able to handle it."

"I worry about you two," Mikoto said quietly, to which Itachi only gave a small, one-shouldered shrug.

"We're stronger than you'd think," he said. Mikoto smiled a tiny, pained smile, and nodded once.

"I know you are," she said, her voice quiet and thoughtful as her smile faded. They both stood in silence for a couple more moments, before Mikoto pushed off the wall, her smile quickly returning. "Well...I have to go work. I'll see you at dinner, alright?"

"Alright," Itachi said, returning his mother's small smile.

Then the two parted ways, worry poisoning both of their minds.

* * *

"How was your day, Aniki?" Sasuke asked, cuddling up next to his big brother on the couch. School had flown by for the most part, and he was just happy to be back home, though everything seemed to remind him of... He shook his head, choosing instead to cuddle deeper against Itachi's chest, his worries pushed to the back of his mind as he basked in the comforting warmth emanating from Itachi.

"It was fine," Itachi said. "I may be getting a job soon."

"Really?" Sasuke peered up at his brother, though his bangs fell in his face a bit. Itachi chuckled and brushed them aside.

"Yes," he said.

"Where?"

"At the hospital," he said. "I'd be shadowing a couple of psychiatrists and psychologists. It would be good experience, plus the pay is decent."

"That's good," Sasuke said, though he found the idea of spending less time with Itachi a little depressing. "But why do you need a job right now? I thought you were focusing on college and stuff?"

"Well..." Itachi paused for a moment, closely watching Sasuke's curious expression. He almost looked like a little kid again, his dark eyes wide as he waited for his requested explanation. "How would you feel about the two of us moving out together?"

A smile immediately tugged at Sasuke's lips and he nodded quickly without giving it a second thought. "That would be great," he said. "But...would mom be okay with that?"

"It was her suggestion," Itachi said. "She thinks we're old enough."

"Well  _you're_  almost a legal adult," Sasuke muttered, before he pouted slightly. "I'm still so...young."

"Enjoy it while you can. Responsibility isn't all it's cut out to be."

"Tch."

With a small smile, Itachi lightly pressed his lips against Sasuke's temple and brushed his dark hair aside.

"It might be good for us to get away from this house," he murmured. "Too many bad things have happened here."

Nodding in silent agreement, Sasuke dragged his eyes to the spot near the kitchen where their father fell after Itachi nearly stabbed him in his blind rage; a small stain was still there, though he knew his mother must have scrubbed at it like crazy. His eyebrows drew close and he shifted with discomfort, guilt blossoming deep in his stomach the longer he entertained thoughts of  _what if._

_What if Itachi hadn't come back?_

_What if he actually touched me?_

_What if I really did enjoy it?_

Sasuke's chest tightened and he tried to swallow, but found his mouth was far too dry to allow him the simple action. He scrambled to turn his complete attention to Itachi and quickly climbed onto his lap, his knees resting on either side of the elder's thighs once he settled himself in.

"Sasuke?" Itachi tried to catch sight of Sasuke's face, confused by his little brother's quick shift in position, but the younger hid it in the crook of Itachi's neck. As his eyes began to prick, Sasuke lightly ghosted his lips over Itachi's pulse point, then drifted to his Adam's apple; some of his anxiety melted away with the small shiver he drew from his older brother, but then one tear escaped, running down his cheek, then another, then...

"Kiss me..." he said, finally pulling back enough to allow Itachi to look at him. It didn't last long; Sasuke pressed his lips against Itachi's, and the elder's eyes widened— _is Sasuke crying?_ —before he slowly allowed them to flit closed, giving into what he knew was unhealthy.

Sasuke kissed him desperately, trying to fight off the crushing guilt and heavy tears. Both came regardless, but there was that small part of him that hoped maybe, just  _maybe_ , he'd be able to push them down this time.

* * *

Sasuke made sure he didn't look at that spot again as he sat at the table for dinner. He knew he'd pushed his luck between that morning and his little stunt on the couch—which would have escalated into more than clumsy touching if their mother wasn't on her way home. He also knew he wouldn't be able to breath if Itachi truly denied him when those feelings grew in his chest and threatened to claw him apart from the inside out.

"Did you two have a good day?" Mikoto asked as she took her seat at the small table.

"Yes," Itachi said. He chose to look past Sasuke's obvious regression and his own reckless actions; why worry their mother more? "I visited the hospital and spoke to one of the head psychologists. They said they'd be happy to have someone like me on staff."

"That's fantastic!" Mikoto said, a bright smile pulling at her lips. "So I take it you already spoke to Sasuke?"

"He did," Sasuke said. Mikoto gave him her full attention then.

"Are you okay, sweetie? You know, after...everything from yesterday?"

"Yes," Sasuke said quickly. "Nothing really happened."

_But you wish it would have, don't you?_

Mikoto nodded a few times, then faced Itachi. "Well, as for moving out, both of you will need to be responsible," Mikoto began, her voice quickly drowned out by Sasuke's own thoughts. "I know Itachi is almost drinking age, but I  _definitely_ don't want Sasuke..."

Itachi watched Sasuke closely as their mother lectured them about responsibility. He saw the way Sasuke lightly jumped in his seat, likely tapping his foot under the table; he saw the way Sasuke's eyes would drift towards that brownish spot on the carpet, only to immediately pull back and stare at something else.

He knew both of them were nothing close to okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whines forever
> 
> god i am s u c h a little bitch today
> 
> IGNORE ALL THE WHINY AND ANNOYING AUTHOR'S NOTES. I'M JUST WORD VOMITING ONTO THE KEYBOARD.
> 
> Okay thank you for reading and please comment/leave kudos *twitches*


	38. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know.
> 
> I have no real excuse for why I've been barely posting anything. I guess my motivation is just...gone.
> 
> But it's slowly coming back c:
> 
> This is the last chapter, guys. ;-; holy crap.
> 
> Thirty-eight chapters.
> 
> THIRTY-EIGHT FUCKING CHAPTERS.
> 
> I just wanted to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who's read this fic, and I really hope you guys will keep an eye out for the sequel, 'In Sickness and In Health,' whenever I decide to post it. I'm going to wait until I've planned out at least 10 chapters, plus I'm hoping to finish up 'Motivation' soon, so I'm not quite sure when that will be posted. ;-;
> 
> You can check out 'Don't You Dare Forget the Sun' if you're interested in reading a ninjaverse Uchihacest fic :D And I have a (shota ;-;) ItaSasu oneshot I should be posting soon. It's almost 7,000 words so far...of pure smut.
> 
> Goddamnit, Cody.
> 
> Again, thank you so much to everyone who's stuck with this fic to the end! It was my first real fic, and I can admit that I've definitely grown as an author during the course of writing this. I'm still working on revising old chapters, so that will take priority over the sequel, but yeah :3
> 
> Please leave a comment telling me what you've thought of this fic! Even if you've never commented before, it would mean a lot to me to hear what people have thought of this. c: Thanks so much to all my loyal commenters. ;-;
> 
> Sorry for the ungodly length of this author's note. *twitches*
> 
> Enjoy the last chapter! (This is technically an epilogue, but yeah. cx)

Stacks upon stacks of packed moving boxes littered both brothers' mostly-empty bedrooms. Movers were supposed to arrive at any moment, and Sasuke and Itachi were currently performing a final walk-through to make sure they'd packed all of their miscellaneous belongings.

Itachi stood in his own bedroom, brushing off his dusty pant-legs as he slowly stood and surveyed his room. He could hardly wrap his mind around the fact that they were leaving this place, but he couldn't squash the excitement that had kept him awake night after night for the past few weeks. But, along with his excitement for beginning this new chapter of their life, Itachi began reflecting on the past as well.

_So many memories..._

Some were unpleasant, some were horrible, some were utterly disgusting—yet some Itachi treasured more than he could truly describe.

There were times when Sasuke used to crawl into Itachi's bed at night when he was scared; there were times when Fugaku trapped Itachi within the these four white walls and did unspeakable things; and there were times when Sasuke and Itachi shared intimacy like the lovers they'd become.

Overall, Itachi was going to miss this room filled to bursting with memories.

"Are you done in here, Itachi-nii?"

Itachi was broken out of his reverie and gave a short nod, blinking as his mind tried to catch up to its surroundings. He turned his sights to Sasuke as the younger pattered closer and wound his arms around Itachi's midsection, his own eyes darting wildly around the room.

"It's going to be strange," Sasuke said, noticing the small echo that bounced behind his words, "leaving this place behind."

"I know," Itachi murmured quietly. He brought a hand up to run his fingers through Sasuke's untamable hair; it never grew any more submissive no matter how old he got. Itachi's lips curved into a small smile at the thought. His little brother was vastly different, of course, but there was no erasing that child he'd once been—and still was.

"Are you going to miss your own room?" Itachi asked. Sasuke snorted and shook his head.

"I barely even spent time there," he said, rolling his eyes. "I was always in here, and the time I did spend in there was me pouting about something."

A smirk twitched on Itachi's lips; he had to agree with that. "That is true."

As he nodded, Sasuke unwound his arms from Itachi's waist and took a couple of steps back. He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head, eyeing his big brother with a smirk that was threatening to break into a grin at any second.

"So how's it feel being an adult?" he asked with brimming excitement. "You're not a teenager anymore. Do you feel more mature and responsible?"

"I feel exactly the same," Itachi said, not bothering to hide his amusement.

"I'm surprised you didn't go out and get drunk with your friends," Sasuke continued, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief. Drinking seemed like fun to Sasuke—it was something he wanted to try sometime soon—but all Itachi did on his birthday was stay home, as boring as that was. Sasuke had quite a plan in store for his own twentieth birthday...

"I think our celebration at home was nice."

Sasuke shook his head and rolled his eyes. He and Itachi would  _always_  be opposites.

"Stop being so boring," Sasuke muttered, though anyone could easily tell he didn't mean it. A low chuckle fell past Itachi's lips and he reached over and ruffled Sasuke's hair, though Sasuke didn't have it in him to complain.

"Are you two almost done?" Mikoto stepped into Itachi's bedroom just as she was pinning her hair up. The sight of the barren room made her newly-dried tears start up for the thousandth time that morning, and she sniffled violently as her hands dropped to her sides.

"She's crying again," Sasuke whispered with a tick of his eyebrow. It was loud enough for Mikoto to hear, and she crossed her arms over her chest with an indignant sniffle.

"My two babies are moving out!" she choked, her lower lip trembling uncontrollably and her voice cracking in the most pitiful way. "This isn't going to be easy for me!"

"We're only fifteen minutes away," Itachi said, stepping closer to their mother and smiling as reassuringly as he possibly could. Really, the last thing they needed was a hysterical Mikoto, but it seemed like they may have already been too late. "We'll come by on weekends to see you and stay for dinner as well."

Mikoto sighed, but nodded as she wiped at her watery eyes.

"Plus you can have Tsunade over as much as you want," Sasuke chimed in as he stepped beside Itachi, "and you guys can be completely  _alone._ Won't that be nice?"

Mikoto's eyebrow twitched.

"At least you're more subtle now," Itachi murmured, though he lightly clapped Sasuke on the back of the head for good measure. Sasuke grinned to himself then practically tackled Itachi, wrapping his arms around him, and pulled him down so he could whisper in his ear.

"And I have  _you_ all to myself."

"For the love of God," Mikoto muttered, covering her ears. Sasuke's grin grew even wider. "Maybe you two moving out won't be so bad after all," she said, her lips threatening to betray her with smile. But then her face fell again, along with her hands, and new tears built in her deep grey eyes.

"No," she said, sniffling again, "it definitely will."

"You're like a walking cloud of tears and depression," Sasuke murmured as he stepped away from Itachi, though his comment earned him their mother's version of the Uchiha death glare. It was excessively watery, so any chance of it being the least bit terrifying was completely done away with and she quickly gave up, her face dropping to a low, forlorn pout once more.

"Be nice, Sasuke," Itachi sighed. "She's going to miss us, just like we're going to miss her."

Sasuke shrugged one shoulder, his lip slightly stuck out.

"I'm just being honest."

Then there was a heavy knock on the front door, and after wiping her eyes again and hopelessly smearing her eyeliner even worse than it already was, Mikoto headed out of the room and towards the stairs.

"You're so mean," Itachi chuckled, grasping the side of Sasuke's face with his hand. He tried to give Sasuke a stern expression like he knew he should, but found he simply couldn't; instead, he brushed some of Sasuke's hair aside and pecked him on the forehead, then his pouty lips before pulling just a breath away. "Are you done in your room?"

A light pink dusted Sasuke's cheeks and he nodded, almost seeming shy as his lips quirked into a half-smile. Itachi found himself wondering how Sasuke could act so adorable and shy sometimes yet turn into a completely different person when they were intimate. But really, both of them changed when they were, though it had yet to draw any worse outcome than a couple of possessive hickeys on Sasuke's neck—which their mother had been less than happy about—and learning they had an extensive list of previously undiscovered kinks.

"So," Sasuke said, willing his blush away and taking a step back; he couldn't think straight when Itachi looked at him that way. "I guess it's time to start moving boxes."

* * *

Their apartment was a medium-sized, two bedroom with modern appliances and carpeted floors. Itachi would be able to afford it on his salary with a little bit of help from Mikoto, and it was more than good enough for two people to live more than comfortably. The neighborhood itself was nice as well, and a short walk from Sasuke's school.

They really only needed one bedroom, but both Itachi and Mikoto had agreed that it would look a bit odd for two brothers of their ages to share a one bedroom apartment—though they may have been able to pass it off as them just being especially close if they  _really_ tried—and they didn't want to chance it. Though it was more yen per month, they figured the extra step was worth it if it kept their secret safe.

Sasuke's bed was moved into the smaller room, along with his things, though he complained when he realized that meant he had to shift his boxes into Itachi's room once the movers left. Once the movers were gone, however, Itachi and Sasuke lay in a heap on Itachi's sheetless mattress, troublesome boxes completely forgotten; they were both rather tired from all the moving they'd done and figured a breather was in order before they began unpacking.

"I like it here," Sasuke said, shifting so Itachi's face was in between his arms. He smiled softly down at his big brother, who quickly returned the small smile.

"I'm glad. I was hoping you'd like it."

"It's perfect."

Sasuke closed the small distance between them and lightly pressed his lips against Itachi's, though he kept the kiss chaste and quickly pulled away just to cuddle up closer on his big brother's warm chest. Itachi was surprised by this; their kisses almost always progressed to something further nowadays.

But it really was nice to keep something innocent for once.

"I love you, Itachi-nii," Sasuke said, peering up. His cheeks were a little bit pink, and he quickly hid his head again, though he scowled at his own actions once his face was out of Itachi's view. He was acting like a little kid—and he absolutely despised himself for that—but just thinking about his and Itachi's future together left him feeling more happy and secure than he'd felt in a long, long time.

Something akin to hope, as well as pure adoration settled in Itachi's normally-heavy chest, and he allowed himself to entertain thoughts that maybe, just  _maybe,_ everything was going to be alright. They were in a new environment, one that hadn't been tainted by any horrible memories—a place where they could make new, memories,  _happy_  memories. Maybe they were going to pull through this. Maybe they were going to recover.

After all, they had each other.

Itachi smiled, resting his head back against the flat mattress and staring at the ceiling of their  _new home._

"I love you too," he said. "More than anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. ;-;
> 
> *curls into fetal position, rocking back-and-forth while murmuring comforting words to myself*
> 
> THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME SLIGHTLY EMOTIONAL. NOTHING MAKES ME EMOTIONAL.
> 
> *wails*
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Bye, guys. Less than three.


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